


Chances and Choices

by RubyLipsStarryEyes



Series: Prophesies and Revelations [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Colleagues - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healers, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Professors, Love Triangles, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:02:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 106,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyLipsStarryEyes/pseuds/RubyLipsStarryEyes
Summary: Vivienne returns to Hogwarts to take Poppy Pomfrey’s position as matron and healer to escape. She’d never dream she’d be stuck in a love triangle with the new potions master and her best friend.This is part 2 of 3 part story that spans the decade after the Battle at Hogwarts; each story follows a different set of characters and will be posted over the course of quite some time. Vivienne Beaulieu is an original character, and I hope you love her as much as I do.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: Prophesies and Revelations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578997
Comments: 133
Kudos: 18





	1. The Letter

August, 2006

The broken marbles filling the window sill made for an oddly beautiful scene. The paling light coming through grey skies and falling rain danced through the glass fragments and the dust. Who’d have thought dust and broken toys could be so lovely. I didn’t remember the last time I’d been up here in the attic, but I remembered playing up here as a child. 

The sound of the rain on the window sent chills through me, and I became acutely aware of how thin my silk slip was. I’d been so hot all night in the heavy satin gown, but now my skin was exposed to the cooling air. 

My skin wasn’t the only part of me exposed after tonight, though. My heart and soul had been ripped open too. It wasn’t a traumatic tear; it was a surgical incision, made to prevent the swelling from damaging me any more. And the relief overwhelmed the pain. The pressure that had been building for so long had been released, and I could breathe again. 

Who’d have thought that one night could do that? 

I looked around the dim attic for the box. The box I’d hidden away so many years ago. The box that held that start of our story. The most painful part. The most important part. 

I spied it tucked away in the corner behind the Christmas tree and boxes of delicate glass ornaments. I picked my way across the floor, my bare feet sensitive against the raw, rough wood, and pulled on the box. It didn’t budge, and I yanked again. After several tugs, a few choice swear words, and a very close call with an unstable stack of boxes next to me, it came free. 

I clutched the box to my body and retreated back downstairs into the relative warmth of my room. The rain was falling more heavily against the window, the sky quickly darkening to black. The candles lit around my room filled the space with warm, wavering light and I shivered again before reaching for my dressing gown. 

I wrapped it around myself but didn’t bother with the buttons, too anxious to reach the box waiting on my desk. The lid came off easily, as if it had just been waiting to be opened, not sitting there in the dark for 12 years now. 

I flashed back to my 11 year old self as I reached in, shuffling through countless letters addressed in a bold scrawl sealed with royal blue wax, and found the heavy parchment envelope, addressed in emerald green ink with a red wax seal. I opened the letter with the same shaking fingers and read, 

“Dear Ms. Vivienne Beaulieu,

It is my duty to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

My heart stopped after reading those words again. I was 23 now and it still felt like yesterday that Professor McGonagall knocked on our door. My muggle parents had thought it a joke at first. But once the professor had started asking about odd things happening around me, my parents had quickly realized that it wasn’t a joke, and actually made more sense than any other logical explanation. 

I had been taken to Diagon Alley, and my wand had chosen me almost immediately. The dear old wand-maker had told me I had great potential and to treat my wand well, and it would never fail me. I was fitted for black robes, and gathered all the supplies needed for my first term. I was elated. 

On the first of September, my parents accompanied me to King’s Cross Station and there I kissed them goodbye before confidently skipping through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. I stared in awe at the great scarlet steam engine for some time before climbing aboard and finding a seat. It wasn’t long before I was joined by other first year students, and we all chatted away about what awaited us. I had butterflies in my stomach the entire way, but a shy girl next to me linked her arm through mine and we set off to the boats together. 

As fate would have it, we were both sorted into Ravenclaw; the house of wit and learning. Her name was Hazel, and we became inseparable. Both of her parents were magical, so she helped me navigate the wizarding world, and I taught her about the muggle world. We attended every class together, and giggled when the famous Harry Potter shuffled too close to our table at dinner time. He was 2 years ahead of us, and like every other girl in the castle, we had minor crushes on him. 

The first years of our time at Hogwarts had seemed so... magical. I was ecstatic our second year when Beauxbatons joined us, and my French name didn’t sound quite so foreign anymore. And then Cedric Diggory had been killed. The next year, the awful old hag had almost ruined the school. The year after that, Professor Dumbledore had been murdered. I didn’t return the following year. As a muggleborn, it was too dangerous. Hazel hadn’t either. Her family fled to Germany, and our letters had been few and far between. We missed our OWLs, and we didn’t know if there would be a wizarding world for it to matter in. We didn’t know if there would be a world at all. 

But then the impossible happened; Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord once again. I was so relieved to return to school, but I never imagined how different it would be. Hazel and I were the same as ever. Professor McGonagall was now headmistress, and we were allowed to study for and complete our OWLs. The castle looked much the same, with the moving staircases and the Great Hall and towers and dungeons. Ravenclaw tower stood tall and proud, the brass eagle knocker coming up with even crazier riddles and rhymes. 

But everyone was different. I knew about the battle that had raged here. I knew students and professors alike had fought. But I didn’t realize how broken we were. 

Hazel and I had taken a trek down to the monument that first day, looking for the names we knew. It had shattered us to know that there were few we hadn’t known, or at least known of. Colin Creevy had taken our photo several times. Professor Lupin had been our first (and favorite) Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. People from our house, from Hufflepuff and from Gryffindor. 

We hadn’t been there for the battle, but it crushed us all the same. All of the red rimmed eyes at breakfast became ours too. The empty seats in class felt like black holes sucking us in. The eighth years that had returned, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy among them seemed so much older. The halls seemed quieter, and even Peeves didn’t seem as uninhibited. 

The next year it improved, slightly. By our own 8th year, the castle had mostly healed. There were still scars, a darkness that hadn’t quite lifted completely, but it was better. Now, 5 years after graduating myself, I still got to go back to the castle, as a healer. Madame Pomfrey had retired my 6th year, and they still hadn’t found a permanent replacement. It seemed that the predicaments that the students found themselves in were... overwhelming to many of the St Mungo’s healers. 

I was actually considering the position myself, as I was one of the regular healers there. That’s why Professor McGonagall had invited me to the staff’s start of term party. 


	2. The Party

I arrived at half past seven, and was greeted by Professor Minerva McGonagall, and the heads of Houses. Professor Filius Flitwick, my own Head of House from my time there, squeaked excitedly and almost toppled from the stool he’d been standing on. Not much had changed there. Professor Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank, head of Hufflepuff, Professor Aurora Sinistra, of Slytherin, and Professor Neville Longbottom of Gryffindor rounded up the last of them. They all cleaned up nicely in dress robes and evening gowns. I greeted each in turn, being pulled into a tight hug by Neville. As the Herbology Professor, I was rather reliant on him for some of my remedies, and we’d quickly become friends. 

He whispered to me how nice I looked, and I was still blushing as I found my place card at one of the tables. I took my seat as gracefully as I could with my heavy, sapphire blue gown restricting some of my movements. I suddenly felt so exposed and vulnerable, so off balance in the place I’d once called home. 

The seats around me filled slowly as the ghosts, professors, and their spouses trickled in. The seats on either side of me remained empty, and I tried to discreetly read the seating cards. One was Neville’s. His fiancée, Hannah, was on the other side so I expected as much. The one to my right, however, was one I’d never heard of. 

“Dumont?” I whispered to myself.

“Yes, but you may call me Mathieu.” The velvety voice behind me made me jump, knocking the table and making the cutlery rattle loudly. I felt my face flush as I looked up at the man. 

Tall and impeccably dressed in a black suit rather than dress robes, his honey blond hair was wavy and his grey-blue eyes flashed with... was that amusement? My apologies died in my throat and my mouth went dry as I stared at the man before me. 

I was sure I was blushing to the roots of my auburn hair and down beneath the neckline of my gown, and it didn’t lessen when he offered me his hand. 

I wordlessly took it, and instead of shaking it, he bowed over it, brushing his lips softly against my knuckles. 

“Ah, Matt! I’m so glad you found the table. I was right behind you and old Filius needed...” Neville trailed off as he caught sight of us. 

Professor Dumont didn’t take his eyes off me but replied, “I did indeed find our table. But you did not tell me we would have the company of a woman that would put any Veela to shame.” 

My face was burning and I was still struck dumb, unable to make my mouth form any words. I desperately hoped that at the very least my jaw wasn’t hanging open. 

Neville cleared his throat and Professor Dumont finally let my hand go, and tore his eyes from me. 

“Well... erm...” It was Neville’s turn to go pink. “Viv,” he cleared his throat again. “I mean Vivienne... Vivienne Beaulieu, is the new resident Healer.” I couldn’t even make myself remind him I hadn’t accepted the job yet. “She’s brilliant.” He smiled encouragingly at me. “And Viv, this is Matt!” My eyes widened and he rushed on, “He... He was a year ahead of me, before... Before the war.” 

I wracked my brain trying to place him. Slytherin, maybe? I would have remembered him from my own house. I found it hard to believe he was a Hufflepuff... If he’d been in Gryffindor I would have remembered him hanging around Harry Potter and Neville. Must be Slytherin, I decided. I finally found my voice and attempted a casual tone that came out significantly higher than I wanted. “We’re glad to have you, Professor Dumont.” 

His stormy blue eyes found mine again and he smiled, flashing a set of perfectly white teeth. 

“Thank you, Mademoiselle Beaulieu.” He sat down gracefully and turned towards me, but thankfully Professor McGonagall chose that moment to tap her glass with a spoon, silencing the room and turning all attention to her. 

I turned away, grateful for the distraction, my face still feeling like it could boil a cauldron. 

“Welcome my friends, to another year! We are thrilled to have not only our familiar friends but several returning to us, and a few new faces joining us as well! As I’m sure you’re all painfully aware, Poppy retired quite some time ago and we have struggled to find a permanent replacement for. I’m happy to say that Vivienne Beaulieu, formerly of Ravenclaw, has accepted the position and will be joining us at the start of the term.” She beckoned me to stand, and I did to a smattering of applause. 

Again, I couldn’t find the words to tell her I hadn’t yet accepted. Apparently now it didn’t matter. I was here to stay, it seemed. I gave a wave and what I hoped was a charming smile, and sat back down. 

McGonagall went on, “and with the retirement of Professor Slughorn, we were left with a position of potions master to fill, which we are happy to announce was taken by Mathieu Dumont, formerly of Beauxbatons Academy!” The man beside me stood and gave a much more charming smile than I was sure I’d managed before returning to his seat. 

I resisted the urge to sigh with relief. That explained why I didn’t know him. He had attended Beauxbatons, not Hogwarts. Not a Slytherin after all. I attempted to listen to the rest of Professor McGonagall’s introductions and speech, but I found myself hyperaware of every movement from the man beside me, and unable to focus on much else. 

She finished her speech, waved her hands and the food had appeared like so many feasts of my school days. I was delighted to find that they actually provided alcohol to the staff. I picked up my wineglass immediately and took a sip, willing it to lubricate my throat and ease the knot in my stomach. 

The white wine didn’t do much to loosen me up, but it did wet my throat and allowed me to speak up.

“Neville… Where’s Axios?” I’d looked around the room carefully twice and hadn’t seen the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. 

“Last time I heard he was in Italy on a joint mission. He’ll be here by start of term though.”

I nodded, swallowing hard. I cleared my throat and tilted my head minutely to the man on my other side. “What brings you to Hogwarts? Would you not rather teach at Beauxbatons?” I kept my eyes on my fork and knife, afraid that I’d drop them if I let myself get lost in his eyes again. 

“I came where there was an opening. And it so happens that I have wanted to come here ever since I was denied the chance at the triwizard tournament my fifth year,” his voice was soft, and had an ever so slight French accent, much like my father’s. I wondered how I’d missed it before. 

I nodded slowly. “I see. Well I hope you find it to your liking. Potions is traditionally in the dungeons and it gets quite dreary down there.” 

He chucked, “Yes, I have already spoken to Madame McGonagall about this. We have come to an agreement to move it to the 6th floor, in the east wing.” 

Surprised, I forgot to keep my eyes on my plate and looked back up at him. “That means your classrooms will be closest to the hospital wing.” 

He smiled guilelessly back at me. “How fortuitous! I understand that the potions master often works closely with the healer. It will be most convenient. I suppose that means I shall be seeing much more of you as well, no?” 

My face grew hot again. “I suppose it does. I also work quite closely with Neville. Isn’t that right?” I nudged him gently under the table with my foot. 

“Huh?” He looked around absently. 

“We were just discussing how closely we work together, isn’t that right?” I inclined my head slightly and resisted the urge to kick him hard under the table. “And Hannah has been a great help as well, though she works in Hogsmeade, not here at the school.” 

Hannah smiled brightly and started answering Mathieu’s questions about the village. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and did my best to keep them engaged through the rest of the meal. 

I sipped on far too much wine without much to eat, but was feeling considerably more relaxed when the meal was cleared. Glasses were refilled and music was struck up, moving the atmosphere from formal dinner party to a relaxed dance party. Couples filled the dance floor, with Professor Sinistra and her husband leading a lively foxtrot through the crowd. Even McGonagall accepted Professor Gibble’s invitation, and her emerald green robes flowed with his scarlet ones across the floor. A few of the ghosts had paired as well, shimmering as they floated through the movements. Neville and Hannah joined as well, leaving me alone with the new potions master. 

I took another sip to avoid talking, but it didn’t dissuade him from asking. “Care to dance?” His sparkling blue eyes were enchanting and I couldn’t say no. 

“Alright then. Just one.” I set my glass down, accepted his hand, and he led me to the floor just as a waltz started. One hand held mine, and the other slid around to the small of my back, warm through the soft fabric. He pulled me closer and I reluctantly allowed myself to be pressed against his body. I barely came to his shoulder, and in frame all I could see was the fine stitching of his suit. I opted to close my eyes, but realized what a bad idea that was when my nose filled with the smell of coffee and chocolate. It was intoxicating, and I leaned closer into him. 

He lead me through the steps effortlessly, and I was disappointed when he swept me into one last turn and stepped back into a bow. I returned it with a curtsey of my own, and excused myself from the great hall. The wine that relaxed me before suddenly had me feeling lightheaded and faintly sick. 

I passed a few professors just outside the doors, but the rest of the castle was quiet. There was the quiet murmuring from portraits I passed, and the creaking of the staircases, but with the ghosts at the party, and the students still at home for the summer, the castle was deserted. 

My footsteps echoed, my dress rustled softly, and the air was colder here, but I worked my way up to the hospital wing, past where Professor Dumont’s classroom and office were now sitting, still and ready for a new term. The doors to the hospital wing opened silently, and I stepped into the familiar space. The candles had lit themselves when I’d entered, and a swish of my wand had a fire crackling in the fireplace. 

I finally relaxed slightly, and perched on the end of one bed, looking at the office that was to be mine. My name was already on the door, the shiny brass plaque glinting in the firelight. 

For the first time since that fateful year, I felt as if I was home at Hogwarts again. McGonagall and Flitwick always did know what I wanted before I knew myself. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek, and I didn’t bother to wipe it away. There would be many more. 


	3. The Cut

I sniffed, not caring as I was alone.

Until a man cleared his throat behind me. I jumped up, wand already in my hand pointing at the chest of none other than the new Professor Dumont. He held his hands in surrender, no wand in sight. I quickly wiped my eyes as I lowered my wand. 

“Do you mean to sneak up on people or can you not help yourself?” It came out more crossly than I’d intended, but it was the second time tonight he’d gotten the drop on me, and I didn’t like the trend. 

“I am sorry. I saw you leaving, and you looked... sad. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He lowered his hands but didn’t come any closer. 

I turned away from him, more tears threatening to break loose. “I just needed a moment. And a cup of tea.” I left him standing there as I retreated to my office and retrieved a teapot and a tin of biscuits that house elves kept me stocked with. When I returned, I had composed myself and motioned to a chair. “Would you care to join me?” 

He sat down, quietly watching my practiced movements. The only magic I used was to heat the water, and this seemed to confuse him. 

“My parents are muggles,” I explained quietly. “I do it their way to calm down sometimes.” He didn’t reply, just crossed his long legs and watched. The familiar process of making tea calmed me, and when I handed him a cup, my emotions were tightly reigned in. 

“Merci,” he took the cup, but yet again his eyes stayed on me. 

“De rien,” I replied, taking a sip. We sat in silence for some time before he spoke again. 

“Who did you lose?” His voice was low, and he sounded sad. 

I stared hard into the depths of the fire, wondering why I should tell this man— this stranger— of my loss. But inexplicably, my mouth opened and words that had sat for so long, untouched, tumbled out. “I lost friends in the battle. We all did. The castle was so sad... it’s still sad, in many ways. The walls saw too much darkness and death. It isn’t something that can be washed away like the blood from the stone.” I took a shaking breath. “And the next year, I was here when my father died. He was in a car accident. He was a muggle. He had no chance. I could have saved him though. If I... if I’d been there.” The teacup rattled in the saucer as my hands shook, and I set it down on my desk before it could crack. 

“Is that why you became a healer?” His voice was still so soft, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. 

“I was already on my way to becoming one. Poppy, the healer that was here when I was a student, she thought I had a gift. I came here often, those first years. She taught me so much, and it helped the homesickness. My father was a muggle doctor, you see.” I squeezed my eyes shut as more tears threatened to fall. 

“And last year my best friend was murdered.” Quiet, beautiful, thoughtful Hazel. She was so full of life and didn’t deserve the end she got. 

Professor Dumont sucked in a breath, but didn’t say anything more. 

“She was dating the son of a Death Eater, who had inherited his father’s temper and blood status prejudices. She wasn’t pure blood, but her family up through all of her grandparents were all magical.” I balled my hands into fists in my lap. “It was me, he had a problem with. It was me she was defending when she died. It was my fault she died.” My nails cut into my palms, and my vision blurred as I fought back a fresh wave of tears. 

Professor Dumont held out a clean handkerchief, and I took it gratefully. I patted at my eyes, wishing for the floor to open up and swallow me. I’d known this man for less than three hours and he already knew the cracks in my heart and soul. 

With five quietly spoken words, the man across from me cut me open. 

“It is not your fault.” The floodgates opened, and I held the handkerchief, the one smelling of coffee and chocolate to my nose as the tears poured out. I hunched over, but my dress made it hard to breathe, so I stood up, and again turned my back to him. I stood there for what felt like ages until a soft touch at my elbow had me turning, right into his open arms. I froze for a moment, before his soft touch on my back melted what little composure I had remaining, and I sobbed into his chest. 

He didn’t say anything, just let me cry until the tears stopped and my breathing returned to normal. And then I realized I was wrapped in the arms of a man I barely knew, crying my heart out. I took a step back, mortified that I’d let him see me so vulnerable and bare. 

He didn’t seem phased by my emotional collapse, just calmly waved his wand to dry the drenched handkerchief. “Are you recovered enough to return to the party? I do believe Headmistress McGonagall will notice our absence soon.”

My face burned, yet again. I’d completely forgotten about the party downstairs. I reached for a compact in my desk and checked my makeup. The makeup stay-up charm had worked perfectly, and the only evidence of my fit was red-rimmed eyes. I summoned an eye potion from one of the cupboards, and after a drop in each, all evidence was gone. 

He offered his arm, and I took it, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry this is how you spent your first night at Hogwarts. I promise we’re not all blubbering messes. I’m usually not, either. Just being back here knowing I’d be here to stay again was a bit overwhelming and I…” the heat crept up my face and down my chest again. “And now I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” 

He looked down at me and smiled, “I don’t think I would have preferred it any other way, Mademoiselle Beaulieu. And I do not mind. I have a sister. I am not afraid of tears, and I think you will find that a good cry can be of just as much help as a well-brewed Draught of Peace can be at times.” 

I was smiling shyly up at him when his eyes went wide and he was suddenly at eye-level. He let out a yelp, and I let go of his arm, lest he knocked me off balance. And then I realized where we were. 

“What in the…” He looked around, trying to find what he was stuck in. 

I stifled a giggle. “It would seem, Professeur Dumont, that you’ve fallen victim to the infamous vanishing step.” 

His eyes closed and he muttered a curse in French. “I did this earlier, with Neville as well.” 

I laughed out loud. “Well it still happens to Neville at least once a week. It never seemed to stick in his mind to skip it. Here, let’s get you out.” 

I took his hand and pulled, hoping that just the step above would give me enough height to get him out. It wasn’t of course, and I had to move to the step above that before he came loose with a faint “pop.” The sudden lack of resistance sent us both sprawling backwards, and we landed in a heap of tangled limbs and blue satin. 

We sat stunned for a moment, before Professor Dumont started to laugh. A deep, full belly laugh that was contagious. Soon we were both in stitches, and the portraits around us snickered at our mishap. 

“There you are!” Hannah’s anxious face appeared at the foot of the staircase. “We’ve been looking— she stopped as we both continued to laugh in a heap on the stairs. “What happened here?” Her concern was replaced with outright confusion. 

“Mademoiselle Beaulieu forgot about the vanishing step. I had to come to her rescue!” Professor Dumont chuckled. 

I made an indignant sound and gave his shoulder a playful shove. “What Professor Dumont means is that _HE_ got stuck and was lucky _I_ was there to get him out.” 

Hannah raised an eyebrow at our teasing but didn’t ask further. “Well when you two are ready, Professor McGonagall wanted to see you before the party is over.” With that she vanished the way she came and I attempted to disentangle my dress and legs from Professors Dumont’s. 

He aided my efforts and before long we were both standing and straightening our clothing. 

“Mademoiselle—” 

“I think all of that warrants a first name basis, don’t you? Vivienne. Please.” For the first time that night, his cheeks flushed ever so slightly and he nodded his acquiescence. 

“Vivienne.” My name from his lips made my stomach tighten pleasantly, and I smiled as he tugged in his jacket once more and offered his arm. We jumped over the trick step together, and we continued on our way back to the Great Hall. 


	4. The Distraction

The rest of the evening was significantly more enjoyable. It would seem that Mathieu was right; a good cry released so much of the painful pressure that had been building. For the first time in months, I could breathe. 

Soon after we returned, a few of the professors broke out bottles of firewhiskey and started dancing again. I danced with Professor Gibble, the Transfiguration master, and handed him off for the Ancient Runes Professor. With every turn I took in as much of the new potions master as I could. The long, elegant fingers casually holding the lowball glass. The tie that had been loosened but still made him look more like a model than a teacher. The way he casually stretched out his legs and draped an arm across the back of the chair next to him. 

I steered mostly clear of him and the firewhiskey until I saw him leaning over and whispering in the ear of the attractive Muggle Studies Professor… Marta… Something? Moyes. Marta Moyes. Her full lips were curved into a smile, obviously laughing at whatever it was he’d said. With her striking blue eyes and blonde curls, they made an attractive pair. 

I felt myself flush again and turned my attention back to Professor Horacio Eiberts, the art professor. Or was it muggle art? Maybe they were the same thing. I couldn’t remember. Either way, he was a terrible dancer and I excused myself for a drink. 

I found Neville and Professor Flitwick at a table in the far corner with a mostly full bottle of firewhiskey, and collapsed into a chair beside Neville. The room had grown hot, and my heavy gown hadn’t helped. I took a shot glass from Neville and proceeded to down two shots in quick succession. I gasped at the burn but poured a third anyway. 

“Oy, you alright Viv?” Neville took the bottle and slid it over to Professor Flitwick while I took the third shot. 

“This was a bad idea.” My voice was raspy after the alcohol and I coughed again. 

“Three shots in one go? I’d say so, mate.” Neville raised an eyebrow. “Or are you talking about disappearing with Matt?” 

I snapped my head up at that. “I… I didn’t… DISAPPEAR with him! He followed ME!” I sputtered. My face was back to boiling and he smirked. 

“It was a bad idea coming back.” I mumbled as I swiped a glass of wine from a passing house elf’s tray. “It’s one thing to come back for a day. But to come back to stay…” I took a long drink of wine. “I don’t know how you do it.” 

Professor Flitwick spoke up from Neville’s other side, “It gets better when the students arrive. Especially now there are fewer and fewer that know what really happened here.” His squeaky voice was somber, his eyes downcast. 

Neville nodded, “it’s getting better. Really. And you’ve got us. We all have our moments. Minerva was a mess the whole last week of last term. But she got through it. We all did.” He squeezed my shoulder gently. I nodded, feeling suddenly lightheaded as the firewhiskey hit my system. 

Neville’s eyes had a mischievous glint when he went on, “and it would seem that you’ll have a distraction anyway.” He inclined his head towards the lean figure now chatting with Professor McGonagall. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I shot back indignantly. “It’s not like we have anything in common.” 

“Then what were you actually talking about earlier?” Neville prodded. “When you kicked me and said that we worked together.”

“What are you talking about? You heard us. He was saying he was glad to be seeing more of me so I dragged you in!” My face got hot. 

“I was trying to listen but I don’t speak French.” Neville shrugged. “I assumed you didn’t want me to understand.” 

My face was burning. I needed to find something for that if this is how this year was going to be. There had to be a potion to stop blushing SOMEWHERE. 

“I didn’t realize we had switched to French,” I admitted. 

“Nothing in common, eh?” Flitwick chuckled. 

“So we both speak a language millions of other people speak,” I started defensively. 

Neville cut in, “...and both your favorite color is blue, you both think quidditch is a waste of time, you both secretly think that politics make everything worse, and you both blame yourselves for deaths that are not your fault.” He took a drink from his glass before looking over expectantly. 

My jaw was hanging open this time, and I clamped it shut with a huff. “How do you know any of that.” I gritted out through my clenched teeth. 

“You’re easy. You wear blue most often, I’ve never seen you at a quidditch game or talking about it, you get all huffy when politics come up, and I read the reports from Macnair’s trial.” 

Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked them away bitterly. 

“And him? He just got here.” I looked over at the laughing figure who’d been pulled into a game of wizard’s chess with McGonagall, surrounded by several others. 

“We spent a lot of time together at St Mungo’s.” Neville’s voice was quiet, and I thought of his parents, unable to care for themselves or communicate because of what Bellatrix Lestrange had done to them. “And that’s all I’ll say. It’s not my story to tell.” He sat back and watched at his glass was magically refilled. 

We sat quietly, the three of us, watching the chess match across the room. Mathieu almost had it, and then Professor McGonagall outsmarted him in the end. I saw gold exchanged between some of the onlookers and my mouth twitched into a smile. 

Neville yawned, and Professor Flitwick jerked awake. “I think I’m gonna head home. Hannah left a while ago, and I shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did.” He stood and stretched and I jumped up. 

“Can I walk back with you? I’ll apparate home from Hogsmead.” 

“Yeah of course. Do you mind if I ask Matt as well? He’s staying with us until the term starts.” 

I started to rethink myself the second I said, “Sure. No problem.” 

We split in opposite directions as I went for my wrap and Neville went to find Mathieu. Professor Flitwick yawned and stumbled off in the direction of Professors McGonagall and Gibble. 

I was rearranging my wrap around my shoulders for the fourth time when the two tall men joined me in the entrance hall. 

“Don’t take it too hard, mate.” Neville was saying. “The only one I’ve seen beat her was Ron Weasley our first year here. And I’m pretty sure she made it her life’s mission to never be beat again.” They laughed and we set off down the steps of the castle. 

I did my best to keep my eyes on my own feet, as the firewhiskey had hold of my balance and my heels on the uneven gravel would have given me trouble anyway. Of course, it wasn’t long before I stumbled and it was a black clad arm that shot out, not the deep burgundy of Neville’s dress robes that caught me. 

“Thanks,” I murmured, and let go of his hand as quickly as I could once I had my balance. I made it all of three steps before I tripped again and I cursed myself for the firewhiskey shots when he caught me again. 

“Here,” he said, offering his arm. I bit back a curse and took the proffered arm. I heard Neville trying to cover a snicker with a cough and I turned to shoot him a withering glare. He was ready for it, and just shrugged at me. 

As soon as we reached the limits of Hogsmead, I released his arm and turned to Neville. 

“Thanks for the company. I’ll see you next week for the start of term.” I said brightly, trying to sound less off-kilter than I felt. Before either man could reply, I twisted away, apparating with a “pop.”

I landed in my back garden with another “pop” and it was a few moments before I realized that it was raining. I dashed inside and shut the door behind me with a heavy sigh. 

“How was it, dear?” I followed the sound of my mother’s voice and found her in the sitting room with a roaring fire and a book. 

“It was good. Apparently they didn’t get the memo that I hadn’t accepted… so long story short, I’m the new matron.” I sank into the armchair across from her and shrugged off my wrap. 

“Well it’s what you wanted anyway dear. Would you like a cup of tea?” I looked at her exasperatedly and she was already pouring a second cup she’d had waiting. 

“How do you do that?!” I complained, but took the cup gratefully. 

“I’m your mother dear. And you’ve never been hard to read. You just needed the push to take the job… Though I will admit I thought the business with Ben would have been enough.” 

“You didn’t…” I trailed off, looking at her hard. 

“Did what? Accept it for you? Oh heavens no.” She took a dainty sip. “But I know Minerva knows you almost as well as I do.” 

I huffed and settled back into the chair. My mother and Professor McGonagall had formed a fast friendship the day she’d come to deliver my letter, and evidently still kept in touch. I rolled my eyes and took another sip myself. 

My mother’s dog, a scottish terrier named Dixie, huffed softly in her sleep next to the fire and I looked at the clock. It was well past 2 am now, and I sighed. “You shouldn’t have waited up for me, mum.” 

She looked at me over the top of her paperback, doing a really rather decent imitation of Professor McGonagall in the process. “I did no such thing. Lady Arrenbroghs is in quite the quandary and I wouldn’t sleep a wink without knowing what happens.” 

I smiled, and yawned. “Well I hope Lady Arrenbroghs finds her way out. I’m going to go to bed. G’night mum.” I stopped to kiss her on the cheek before going upstairs and locking myself in my room. 

I sat on the edge of my bed, wondering if it was too late to go back to the castle and tell Professor McGonagall I couldn’t take the job. My shoulders sagged when I realized that my mother was right, and I did want the job. Even better, I hadn’t thought about Ben once until she’d mentioned him. Now I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to do the job with a distraction like Mathieu Dumont around. 

I charmed my way out of my dress, and placed it carefully in my closet, next to my uniform robes from St Mungo’s. I studied them for a moment. I always hated the lime green robes. It was a terrible color. I thought of the freedom I’d have dressing at Hogwarts and chided myself for considering my uniform color as a legitimate reason to leave my job. And then I thought of the letter I’d received that fateful June day. 

I’d rushed up to the attic and found the box, and was now sitting in my dressing gown with that letter in my hands. I thought of what Professor Flitwick and Neville had said at the party. “It gets better.” 

That is when I took my lime green St Mungo’s robes out of my closet, folded them neatly, and packed them into a box along with a waiting letter and several tubes full of swirling silver mist, resolving to take them in with my notice the next day. 


	5. The Beginning

The next day was a flurry of preparations. My boss, an ancient old witch, accepted my resignation letter with a knowing smile, and a wish of luck for me. I’d said goodbye to fellow healers, trying and failing not to cry saying goodbye to Astoria Greengrass, and patients I’d cared for. I breathed a sigh of relief when there was no sign of Ben. Then I set off for Diagon Alley. 

I’d first paid a visit to Madame Malkin’s, trying to decide what would be most appropriate for the new matron. When discussing the position with Professor McGonagall, she’d told me that Poppy’s traditional nursing uniform was her own choice, and I was free to wear whatever I chose. 

I settled on several sets of robes in navy blue, emerald green, burgundy, silvery grey, and a deep amethyst. I’d been considering others, but decided I was young enough that I didn’t want to be confused with a student, so no black, and I’d had enough neon from those lime green robes to last a lifetime. 

Madame Malkin had cheerfully agreed, and asked if I’d like a dress set for the start of term banquet. I decided that it would be appropriate, but couldn’t decide on a color. She suggested a sapphire blue set, and I’d almost said yes until Neville’s words came back to me. “...both your favorite color is blue…” and then my stomach was in knots, wondering if he’d also choose blue. I settled on a dark teal that looked nice with my pale skin and auburn hair. She’d told me they would be sent to Hogwarts as soon as they were finished, and I was off. 

I stopped by Flourish and Blott’s to get the newest edition of  _ Magical Healing and Remedies _ , and refreshed my potions kit at the apothecary. I didn’t want to rely on Mathieu Dumont if I didn’t have to. Having finished my shopping and arranged for it all to be delivered to Hogwarts, I visited Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor and settled down in the warm sun to people-watch as I ate my ice cream. 

I noticed a fairly nondescript man across the street that I thought I’d seen outside of Madame Malkin’s, but I shook it off. There was nothing wrong with someone else doing their shopping. 

As it was the week before term, the street was busier than usual, with students everywhere. I found myself wondering which of them I would see most often, and what for. I watched warily as most of them passed through the doors of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and pressed themselves to the glass of Quality Quidditch Supplies. 

“They bring life to hurting hearts,” a quiet voice said beside me. I looked up to see Mr Fortescue watching the same group of students that I was. 

“Indeed. It would seem that is the general consensus.” I watched a mother pull a bouncing girl into Ollivander’s. First year, then. 

“You’ll find peace back where it began, I think, Miss Beaulieu.” I visited his shop every time I was in Diagon Alley, but was still surprised he knew my name. He smiled sadly at my expression, and went on, “Hazel was my great-niece. We were quite close, and I would know you anywhere.” 

I flashed back to all the times Hazel and I had bounded through the doors together, and he’d put his finger to his lips and given us an extra scoop. I smiled, thinking that Hazel must’ve known how I waited for this every year and told him what that extra scoop had meant. I wondered why she’d never told me, even after we’d graduated and moved on to our internships. I was at St Mungo’s, and she was at the Ministry. 

“I was at the trial, and I saw how you blame yourself. Please know that Hazel never would have wanted that. She loved you deeply.” His eyes glittered with tears, and mine slid down my cheeks. He took my hand and squeezed. “Do come back. I’ve missed seeing your face in here.”

With that, he was gone, a group of teenagers all pushing towards the counter, demanding his attention. 

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and smiled at the man behind the counter before turning and walking slowly away. 

The three days between my Monday visit to Diagon Alley Monday and the start of term Thursday went entirely too quickly. I sent my luggage on Wednesday, and that night I sat in the cozy sitting room with my mother and Dixie. I flipped through a copy of  _ Witch Weekly _ nervously, unable to concentrate on much more than what was to come tomorrow. My mother read her book, pages turning at even intervals and Dixie huffed quietly in her sleep. 

I was reaching for my third cup of tea in efforts to calm my nerves when a barn owl tapped on the window. I opened it, and the owl dropped the letter in my lap before quickly taking off again. I unfolded it, and saw the familiar handwriting. 

_ Viv, _

_ We’re having a last go ‘round at the Broomsticks before term. You should come and stay the evening before we all head back up to the castle.  _

_ See you soon, _

_ Neville  _

I sighed, and fingered the edges of the parchment as I reread it twice. 

“You should go,” my mother said matter-of-factly, without raising her eyes from the book. 

“You really should stop doing that,” I countered. 

She looked over the top of her book, and raised an eyebrow. “The last time you were this nervous was the night before you started at St Mungo’s. Sitting here with me isn’t going to do anything but make me crazy with your fidgeting.” She set the book down. “Your reluctance to move after reading that note tells me you want to go, but are afraid to for whatever reason. So hold your head high and get going!” She deliberated for a moment. “Unless it’s from Ben.”

We stared each other down for a moment before I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Fine. I’ll go.” I crumpled the note in my hand and glared at her. 

She smiled cheerfully and picked the book back up. “Dixie and I will be just fine. Don’t forget to write, and if you could send me some of that delightful butterbeer from Ms Abbott I’d be most grateful.”

I huffed at her infuriating calmness and managed, “it’ll be Mrs Longbottom soon.” She just smiled and patted Dixie’s head. 

I grabbed my traveling cloak and weekend bag from my room, pausing to check my makeup in the mirror before casting one last look around the tidy room and closing the door with a click that rang of finality. No going back now. 

“I’ll be back on week-ends and breaks when I can.” I kissed her cheek and patted Dixie good-bye. 

“Of course. You’ll be marvelous, dear. Have fun!” She waved as I disappeared out the back door and apparated with a “pop.” I landed outside of the Three Broomsticks, and took a moment to straighten my cloak and square my shoulders before going in. 

The normally quiet pub was alive with laughter and chatter, filled with professors from the castle and residents of Hogsmead. I spied Hannah first, busy behind the bar, and then Neville came in from the back room with a case of butterbeer in his arms. I waved, and he nodded in greeting. I looked around as I took off the heavy traveling cloak, revealing the yellow dress I wore beneath. I hung the cloak by the door and took a bottle of butterbeer from Hannah as she squeezed past. I spied Professor Flitwick at a mostly empty table with Professor Sinistra, and made my way over. 

“Is this seat taken?” I asked over the din. They both shook their heads no and I sat down to take a drink. We were joined shortly after by the owner of Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shoppe, and we were all discussing an article about the use of dragon scales in cauldron making when Neville finally made his way over and pulled me into a rough hug. 

“I’m glad you made it, I was worried I’d sent it too late. I forget how blasted far you live from here. Even Draco lives closer.” He sunk into the last empty chair at the table next to me and looked around. 

“Well you made it just in time. Evidently my mother was being driven crazy by me.” I laughed. “And my mum wants some more of Hannah’s Caramel Butterbeer when you have the chance.” 

Neville grinned proudly. “She’s brilliant, ‘innut she? She can’t make the stuff fast enough.” 

“She also said congratulations and about damn time!” We laughed and he looked over at Hannah, positively glowing with happiness. It was almost gross. Then Hannah looked over and waved, and Neville stood back up. 

“I should get back to helping so she doesn’t change her mind. Here, have my seat,” he said to someone behind me. 

“Wait!” I caught Neville’s sleeve. “Where’s Axios?” 

Neville shrugged. “Probably on his way.” 

I accepted the vague answer and turned back to Professor Sinistra, who had moved on to grumbling about the old caretaker. 

It was a few minutes before I realized that the man that had replaced Neville was in fact, Mathieu Dumont. 

I tried to keep my face blank, simply nodding in acknowledgment and continuing stories of what ridiculous things Filch had come to them with over the years. I recounted the time I’d once tripped over his cat, Mrs Norris, and had detention for a week. 

“He had me going up and down the corridors looking for rugs that I deemed a “tripping hazard” because he didn’t believe it was that damn cat!” The table roared with laughter and I grabbed at a stitch in my side, accidentally elbowing Mathieu Demont in the process.

Professor Sinistra launched into the time he’d found her husband in the Astronomy Tower and claimed it was a student that had disguised himself with a beard. “He wouldn’t believe me until I kissed him right then and there. Cranky old boot didn’t look at me for a whole term. Best term I’ve ever had,” she giggled. I finished off my butterbeer and offered to get a new round. 

I was heading to the bar when a warm voice in my ear said, “Let me help.” I jumped and gasped, and elbowed him for the second time that night. 

My eyes widened as he let out a soft grunt. “I’m sorry!” I squeaked. His lips twisted into a smile and he waved me off.

“No, no. It was my fault. You warned me to stop surprising you, no?” My traitorous cheeks flushed again and I dropped my eyes to keep myself from staring at his mouth. “I just wanted to help,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Ok then.” I looked up and smiled, trying to keep myself on a tight leash. 

We got the drinks and returned to the table, where Professor Flitwick was laughing too hard to finish his story. He wiped tears from his eyes as the others nodded their thanks. I settled back in my seat and froze when I felt the warm arm across the top of my chair. I couldn’t even breathe, and my blasted face turned bright red again. 

He must have noticed, because he withdrew his arm a moment later, but I held my breath a few heartbeats longer. I vowed to myself to look for a remedy for blushing as soon as I got to the castle. I couldn’t keep having my face betray me like this. I carefully stayed on the far edge of my seat for the rest of the night. I actually managed to keep myself from blushing until we were getting ready to go and I caught him looking me up and down as I retrieved my cloak. 

The tell-tale heat bloomed over my face and neck and I wished I’d worn a longer skirt. The muggle dress came down to mid thigh but I felt exposed. I wrapped the cloak around me and tried to act as if I hadn’t seen him looking. I joined the other professors gathering to make the walk back up to the castle and found myself next to the muggle studies professor. 

“You’re Vivienne, right?” She asked. Her blonde hair wisped around her face and I was struck by just how pretty she was up close. She had blue eyes and clear skin, and looked to be about my age. 

“Yeah. Professor Moyes, right?” I smiled. 

She laughed, a full throaty laugh that surprised me. I would have thought she had a dainty, ladylike laugh. “You’re one of us now. Marta is fine. And don’t let Flitwick hear you calling him “Professor” when students aren’t around. I thought he was going to hex Artimus Gibble for it.” 

I laughed with her, relaxing a bit. “It’s hard when half of them were my professors.” 

“It took me a while too. I was a year ahead of you, I think. In Slytherin.” That stopped me dead in my tracks and I looked closer. 

“Marta Becker?!” I gasped. 

She laughed again and I recognized it this time. 

“Hell of a caterpillar effect, don’t you think? It turns out all I needed was a skin clearing potion and to get rid of that awful fringe. It really didn’t do me any good.” 

I shook my head. “I didn’t even recognize you! I should’ve known that laugh anywhere though.” Marta used to sit at the table behind me and Hazel in the library and in study hall. 

She grinned. “I was married last year and the name throws people off as well.” 

I laughed. “I can’t believe it. I’m glad to see another familiar face though. I feel a bit like I’m still a student in their eyes. I mean, Neville helped defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named but I’m just…” 

“Me.” She finished. “The feeling goes away after a few weeks, trust me. The kids come in here and all of the sudden it’s like ‘Oh. Yeah. Maybe I am actually qualified for this,” she giggled. 

I have out a relieved chuckle. “Thank god for that.” 

“Oh yeah, your parents are muggles, aren’t they?” She waited for my nod before continuing. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions about it? It helps my classes to get some perspective. Maybe over tea?” 

“That sounds great. We can catch up. You can tell me all about this husband of yours!” 

She smiled, and a blush of her own crept across her cheeks. “He’s a diplomat, so it actually works out well that I’m here during the term. I’m not much of a solitary person so it’s nice to have people while he’s off gallivanting around Europe and North America.” She brushed her hair out of her eyes and I saw the glint of the ring on her finger. “He was on assignment in Germany last week so he couldn’t come to the staff party. He usually comes to them though, so you’ll meet him eventually!” 

I smiled and looked up as we approached the castle. “You’ll find peace where it all began…” The lights reflecting off the Black Lake sparkled against the dark sky, magic hummed in the autumn air and it felt like Mr Fortescue might be right.


	6. The Blushing

Marta and I said goodbye on the fourth floor as she headed towards her chambers near her classrooms. I continued up the stairs with Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, and Dumont. Or rather, Filius, Minerva, and Mathieu, respectively. That was going to take some getting used to. 

Our group slowly dissolved as we moved upwards, until it was just Mathieu and I. I kicked myself when I realized that because his classrooms were now nearest mine, his chambers would be closest to mine as well. Bloody well fantastic. At least he was being quiet, and keeping his lovely-smelling limbs to himself. When we reached the staff quarters, I marched through the door I assumed to be closest to the hospital wing, the door shutting solidly behind me. 

I looked around, and belatedly realized that it wasn’t my luggage stacked next to the bureau, or my belongings on the desk. My eyes widened in horror just as there was a soft knock on the door behind me. I had walked into the ONE ROOM in this castle I never wanted to see the inside of. I spun around and tore the door open, almost running straight into the chest of the room’s owner. Mathieu. Bloody. Dumont. 

I must’ve looked mortified, because he was fighting not to laugh. He pointed at the plaque on the door which clearly read “M. Dumont.” 

“I think yours is the next one down,” he said, still trying not to laugh. Sure enough, the shiny brass had “V. Beaulieu” stamped into the smooth surface. I wrenched the door open and slammed it behind me without so much as a “goodnight.” 

I cursed silently as I heard his door shut before looking around my room. My luggage, my packages, my room. I breathed a sigh of relief to finally be alone, collapsing in a chair by the desk. 

The staff rooms were much nicer than the students dormitories. The heavy drapes over the windows and bed were navy blue and silver, instead of the royal blue and bronze I’d had as a student and much finer quality. The furniture was beautifully carved and matched perfectly, a large welcoming sitting room between the door to the hall and the bedroom. The fireplace in the spacious bedroom was next to a door that opened to an en suite bathroom, with a big tub and floor length mirror. It was pleasantly warm, and quite comfortable, I thought. I unpacked quickly before pulling on my pajamas and settling into bed with  _ Magical Healing and Remedies,  _ determined to find something to help with the blushing. It wasn’t long before the warmth and after effects of the butterbeer had me nodding off. 

~~~

“Why didn’t they put  _ me _ closest to the hospital wing?! That doesn’t even make sense!” I fumed to Marta the next morning in the staff common room. 

I had showed up for breakfast in a rather bad temper, and it hadn’t taken Marta long to pry it from me. She laughed at my faux pas, and poured another cup of tea. 

“It was probably just a mix up. The house elves have a lot to do with the students showing up tonight.” She took a thoughtful sip. “It could have been worse. You could have walked in on him naked.” 

My face burned just in time for Neville to drop into the seat next to mine. 

“Who’d you walk in on naked?” He yawned. 

“I… No! I didn’t!” I sputtered. 

“Mathieu Dumont” Marta laughed at my embarrassment. “They have their rooms swapped and she walked into his last night.”

“He was still in the hall!” I objected, fanning my face. 

Neville grinned. “I knew you’d end up in there sooner or later. Didn’t realize it would be on the first night!” 

I dropped my face into my hands and groaned. “I hate you both.” 

“Glad to be of service,” Marta giggled, and Neville just grinned before tucking into his stack of pancakes. 

We were joined by Aurora Sinistra, and the topic blissfully turned to bets on if a student was going to fall into the lake this year or not. I played with the now-cold eggs on my plate and thought about heading to the library to search for something in blushing. The door opened, and the tall form of Mathieu Dumont came through. 

I quickly threw down my fork and spit out, “I have to go to the library. See you later!” And rushed from the room, taking the door on the far side of the room rather than the one Mathieu was still filling. 

I found my way down to the library, pleasantly surprised of how much of the castle I still remembered. I hadn’t ventured outside of the hospital wing much since graduation, but 7 years of wandering the corridors evidently stuck with you. 

Madam Pince was not at the desk, so I wandered through the stacks until I found the Magical Medicine section. I was flipping through a particularly detailed book on blood-letting when I heard the sneezes. I left the book on the table, peeking around the corner to find Madam Pince. Only, when she sneezed, sparks flew from her nose. I groaned. I knew all too well what that meant. 

“Hello Irma.” The woman sneezed several more times. 

“Vivienne,” she sniffed. “Already back at it?” Her eyes were watering, but I didn’t see any sign of a green tinge. Thank god. “I actually meant to come see you later today. I think I’ve got a bit of a cold and I could use a good Pepper-Up Potion to set me right.” 

I nodded, but Pepper-Up wasn’t going to do her a bit of good, unfortunately. “Then let’s head up now! What I’m looking for can wait.” She nodded, and sneezed again, more sparks flying from her nostrils. 

We made it to the hospital wing without encountering anyone else, thankfully, and once I’d sat her down, I pulled her file from the staff records and set it on my desk. “Irma I’m sorry but I’m going to need to send you to St Mungo’s.” 

She sniffed. “It’s just a cold!” She sneezed, showering her lap in purple and green sparks. 

I raised an eyebrow. “I think we both know that it’s not.” She wilted under my steady gaze. “Do you have the rash between your toes?” She nodded complacently. “Well you haven’t turned green yet so I think we’ve caught it fairly early. Dragon pox is nasty and I don’t want you giving it to any of the students or staff.” She nodded again. ”Good. I’ll speak to Minerva and get a temporary replacement. Floo. Now.” 

She took a handful of the sparkling powder and tossed it into the fireplace before climbing in herself. I followed suit with a clear “Saint Mungo’s,” coming out in the admitting ward at St Mungo’s. I sat Irma down, and turned, looking for the lime green robes. 

“Agnes!” I called to get my former boss’ attention. “I have a case of dragon pox for admittance.” I took the required paperwork and began to fill it out at the desk, finishing just as Agnes appeared. 

“First day and you’re already back!” She chuckled. “With dragon pox, no less.” She appraised the sparking woman behind me. “Mild case, it appears… no doubt a rash between the toes, and an itching of the elbows! She’ll need a few weeks. Maybe a month before returning.” 

“Take good care of her. We need our librarian.” I smiled, pushed the completed paperwork towards her, and turned to Irma. “I’ll go speak to Minerva now. Feel better soon!” With that, I took a handful of floo powder and stepped back into the emerald flames, this time stating, “Hogwarts.” 

I marched out of the fireplace and into Minerva’s office. She was seated at her desk, an exasperated look on her face. The blank space on the wall behind her desk confused me. Last time I’d been here, it had held the portrait of Severus Snape, but the heavy gilt frame was nowhere to be seen. 

“Very well. Who is it this year?” She set her quill down, folded her hands on top of her desk, and waited expectantly. 

“Uhm…” I looked at her, confused. 

“Every year at least one staff member comes down with something the day the students are to arrive. Last year it was Aurora. The year before that it was Artimus.” She looked at me, waiting. 

“Ah. Well it would seem that Irma Pince has contracted a mild case of dragon pox. I would estimate she will be unable to return for at least a month.” I folded my hands in front of me and waited

“Ah.” Minerva sounded relieved. She stood, and approached the fireplace. She took just a pinch, and tossed it in. Then she called into the emerald flames. “Hannah!” She took a step back, and a few moments later, Hannah Abbott stepped through the flames. 

“Morning, Minerva. Morning, Viv!” She said brightly. “Who is it this year?” She looked between us. 

Minerva cleared her throat. “Irma, with dragon pox. Vivienne estimated..” she glanced at me. 

“A month or so,” I piped up. 

“Yes. I know it’s difficult for you to leave the Broomsticks for that long, but we would be ever so grateful.”

Hannah grinned. “I’ve already got coverage for the Broomsticks. Let me finish up this batch of butterbeer and I’ll be back in an hour!” She took a handful of floo powder and was gone with a wave. 

I cleared my throat. “Well. That was impressive.” 

Minerva turned to me with a tired smile. “Hannah has been a lifesaver. And thank you for taking care of Irma before she could pass it on.” 

I smiled. “I would say I’m just doing my job, but as I never formally accepted…” I trailed off, raising an eyebrow. 

She laughed. “I knew I’d never get an answer, and I wasn’t about to settle for less than the best.” Her expression softened. “We’re glad you’re here.” 

I replied softly, “I am too.” I just hoped that would still be the truth later on. 

I went back to the library, and an hour later I was still looking for a potion or charm to keep me from blushing like an idiot every time I passed Mathieu in the hallway. I was flipping through a book on medieval remedies when Hannah popped around the corner. 

“Looking for anything in particular?” She asked, setting a stack down on the table behind me. 

I laughed. “This is so dumb but I need SOMETHING to help me stop blushing so damn much. It’s embarrassing!” 

She scanned over the stack and pulled out a thin volume, flipping right to the page. “Don’t tell, but this is the only way Neville got through the first year teaching here,” she whispered, pushing the book towards me. 

I scanned over it and I could have kissed Hannah. “Minerva was right.” I whispered back. “You are a lifesaver.” 

I took the book and hurried back to my office. It was a relatively simple potion, and only took half an hour to brew. I got to work, and breathed a sigh of relief when the final stir turned it a pretty lavender color, and it smelled like apples. I poured it all into vials, stashing them in my desk drawer. I took one, and swallowed. It didn’t seem to have any immediate effect, but then, I wasn’t blushing. The book said each dose lasted about 24 hours, so with any luck, it would keep me blush-free through the banquet and breakfast the next morning. I glanced at the clock and realized with a start that it was already lunchtime. 

I hurried back down to the staff common room, and was relieved to see Hannah and Marta already at a table, and I slid into a seat across from them. 

“Viv says she won’t be back for a month,” Hannah was saying. “So I’ll be here in her place until she recovers.” 

Marta snorted. “At least it isn’t astronomy this year. Or Transfiguration!” 

Hannah looked faintly sick. “I think Minerva would do it herself after the disaster last time Artimus was sick. I still have nightmares about that.” 

I laughed along with them, and soon after, Neville and the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Axios Fairview joined us. I waved happily, but of course, as my luck would have it, Mathieu joined right as we began eating, settling into the only empty chair at the table, to my right. I’d wanted to talk to Axios, but lunch was over quickly with the feast ahead of us, and the professors finishing up their syllabi and classrooms. Axios had been the first one out of his chair, giving my shoulder a squeeze on the way out. I lingered over my tea, and the room slowly emptied around me. 

I looked around after a while, expecting to be alone but found Mathieu stretched out on one of the sofas, staring into the fire. I allowed myself a moment to look him over. He was impeccably dressed, fine grey slacks and a soft-looking navy cashmere sweater layered over a white collared shirt. His shoes were shined and his sleeves rolled up around his forearms. I found myself wondering if he ever did actually wear robes. He hadn’t last night, either. I put my empty glass down with a clink, and stood, straightening my own amethyst-colored robes. The sound, or the movement, I supposed, brought him from his reverie and he looked up at me. He nodded in acknowledgment and returned to examining the depths of the fire. I left him to his thoughts, returning to my office to take stock of what was there, and what might be needed. 

Stocking the hospital wing took the rest of the afternoon, though I would need to spend a few days brewing various potions before I was done, and I was pleased with my work when the clock tower chimed 6. Time to change and be down to the feast, then. I paused as I passed Mathieu’s door, listening for any sign that he might be there, but quickly chided myself for acting like a lovesick teenager. I wasn’t going to go back to that— not after Ben. I quickly changed into the teal dress robes, and bullied my hair into a semi-acceptable french twist before adding a blood red lipstick and the Make-Up-Stay-Up charm. I added my wide-brimmed witch's hat, and looked in the mirror. I deemed my reflection respectable, and left my rooms feeling vaguely excited to see the Great Hall filled with students from the staff table. 

The Great Hall looked spectacular, the candles suspended in midair and the ceiling mirroring the storm clouds outside. The tables were set, four across and the staff table perpendicular to them all across the top of the hall. A few of the professors were trickling in, and I joined Artimus Gibble on our way up the cavernous hall. 

“Minerva was telling me she was doing it differently this year. Apparently she wants to have us sit in a particular order.” Artimus mumbled as we walked around to the waiting seats. 

Minerva was in the middle, flanked by the four Heads of Houses in order of their house tables. With Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank on her right, followed by Neville, Hannah came next, then Axios, Marta, me, and Mathieu. I thought that I saw Septimia Vector’s name on Mathieu’s other side. I took my seat, slightly put out I wouldn’t have an easy time talking to Axios over Martha, but was even more grateful for the anti-blushing potion. 

“I wonder why she grouped all the young ones together,” Marta whispered as she slid into her chair. “Usually we all spread out so it looks less… stark.” I looked at the names again and realized that indeed, the younger staff members all seemed to be grouped on her right, relatively centered. “Oh well. She must have her reasons. Minerva always does.” 

I nodded. Marta was dressed in black dress robes, every movement making the tiny gold embroidered stars glitter. Her hat matched, and she looked stunning. She was giving me the same once-over, and we both nodded appreciatively. “You clean up pretty nice!” I laughed, and she gave a dramatic bow. 

“You’re not so bad yourself. No wonder he can’t keep his bloody eyes off of you.” I didn’t bother asking who she meant, because right then Mathieu took his seat to my right. He was in yet another impeccably fitting suit, this one black with a silver waistcoat and black collared shirt. His wavy hair looked attractively windswept and annoyingly perfect. 

He caught me looking, and I just smiled. The unrelentless heat that usually accompanied any glance his in his direction was notably absent, and I was again grateful to Hannah for finding the potion. He looked wary of my open smile, but returned it nonetheless. 

After that, I felt as if I could relax again, even with him at my elbow. I even sat back in my chair so he could join the conversation with Marta, and we chatted as the high table slowly filled. Finally, the only ones missing were Axios, Aurora and Whilhemia. Whilhemia was bringing the first years across the lake, and Aurora, as deputy headmistress, was fetching the three-legged stool and the Sorting Hat. 

We heard the massive front doors open, and the first students arrived. We all sat a little straighter, holding our heads high, as the new year began. 


	7. The Feast

The students trickled in as their carriages arrived, filling the quiet hall with laughter and chatter. I couldn’t help but smile, remembering the days that I was there in black robes, excited to see everyone and start a new year. It seemed so long ago now. 

Marta leaned over and discreetly pointed out a few students, murmuring that one Ravenclaw had chronic migraines, a Hufflepuff that had just lost his older brother, and a couple of the quidditch players that seemed to get hurt most often. Unsurprisingly, those seemed to be the Gryffindors and Slytherins. 

I almost sighed with relief when Axios slid into his seat, but I didn’t have a chance to greet him. I tried not to read into it; if he’d been gone until today, he’d have more to catch up on. He wasn’t avoiding me… At least I hoped my old friend wasn’t. 

The heavy doors swung shut, and the students went quiet, waiting in anticipation. A minute later, they flew open and Aurora strode forward with the stool and sorting hat; a group of first years tripped along behind her, mouths agape and eyes wide as they took in the Great Hall. The House banners above each table fluttered, and the older students whispered amongst themselves as they watched the trembling students march past in an increasingly tight group. When they reached the high table, Aurora set the stool down directly in front of Minerva with the Sorting Hat on top. The older students went silent again, and waited. The first years all looked like the Hall was about to go up in flames around them, and I chuckled. That’s something that Dumbledore might’ve done. And then the Sorting Hat began to sing. 

_Welcome to Hogwarts, my young friends!_

_Though all good may come to ends,_

_We will best teach and fill your mind._

_You shall not leave it all behind._

_Come sit beneath me and you shall see,_

_I will tell you where you’ll most be free!_

_Where your loyalties really lie,_

_I’ve not yet slipped and gone awry!_

_Shall it be brave and true Griffindor?_

_Where you’ll have adventure evermore?_

_Maybe wit and learning is your law,_

_And you’ll find your place in Ravenclaw!_

_In cunning and ambitious Slytherin, you’ll be_

_One of their own, to sad end or great glory._

_Fair and kind Hufflepuff is where the patient reside,_

_The most loyal and hardest working at your side._

_For those that have been with us before,_

_Help to keep our legacies of heart and vigor!_

_But be prudent to remember that without trust_

_All as we know and love will turn to dust._

_Now see your professors sitting here,_

_And know they have conquered fear._

_Each one will be your guiding star_

_Though you may not yet know your bar._

_Remember my words carefully,_

_And you’ll live here most happily,_

_For I have watched the best_

_Of each generation at my behest!_

  
  
  


The hat went silent, and Minerva was the first to clap. Soon the applause was thunderous, and Aurora was calling the first student to come forward. 

“Trust and _us_ conquering fear? I think the hats finally gone mad,” Marta muttered. 

“No kidding. I don’t think I’ve ever conquered fear in my life,” I hissed back. 

“Is the grubby little hat always so… cryptic?” Mathieu murmured in my ear. “What was that about professors conquering fear?” 

“I dunno, the best I can come up with is the castle is going to be overrun by bogarts by the end of term,” I whispered. Both Mathieu and Marta snorted, and Hannah glanced down at us. I took a sip from my water glass to hide the smirk, and watched quietly as each student’s house was announced to deafening cheers by the receiving house. Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Slytherin, Hufflepuff… the list went on and on. Finally the last house was called, and when the Ravenclaw table’s cheers had quieted, Minerva stood. The Hall was immediately silent, and I had to respect her poise. 

“Welcome to Hogwarts!” She smiled as the students cheered. “We are so happy to see you all here, ready for another year of magic. Before we dig into the feast, I wanted to share with you what can be expected this coming year. We have a few staffing changes as follows. Madame Pince is unfortunately unable to be here for an unforeseen circumstance, and thus Miss Abbott will be returning to fill in as interim librarian.” 

Hannah stood, waving at the students with a genuinely flattered smile as they cheered for her. 

Minerva continued as Hannah returned to her seat. “Professor Slughorn has returned to retirement, and we are delighted to welcome Professor Dumont as our new potions master!”

Mathieu stood gracefully, and bowed to the students. I saw several students whispering among themselves about the handsome new potions master, and wolf whistles and a few cat calls came through the applause. The students were just as enthusiastic for him as for Hannah, and I dreaded what was to come when Minerva announced my name. 

“And some of you older students will be pleased to know that we FINALLY have a resident matron and healer that you may remember. Miss Beaulieu!” I stood, and instead of the crickets I expected, the students exploded into cheers. “We love you!” A group of students near the back of the Ravenclaw table called out. A group of second year Slytherins said loud enough to be heard “she’s the best!” 

My face remained blush-free, but my eyes watered from the warm welcome. I smiled until my cheeks hurt, and was still smiling when Mathieu leaned in and whispered, “it looks like I have competition for new favorite!” 

“I’m not really new. I’ve been here a few days a week for the last year. Many of them know me already. Some of the older students were here when I was finishing my classes, after the war.” I smiled as the group of Ravenclaws in the back caught my eye and waved again. “And you’ve already got half the girls and a handful of boys pining after you. Don’t count yourself out just yet.” 

I glanced up in time to see him flash a smile, his blue eyes dancing. 

Minerva was still talking, and I refocused in time for her to say, 

“There have been dark times in this castle. Some of the darkest histories have been written within these walls, but you, as our students, are our light. You will one day fill this table. Professor Longbottom, Miss Abbott, Professor Fairview, Professor Moyes, Miss Beaulieu.” The five of us stood in one fluid motion, and she looked at us fondly. “These were students in our darkest hour. And they will teach you above all else, that light will shine in the darkness.” 

The hall erupted into cheers again, and there were damp eyes at every table. The five of us took each other’s hands, holding them tightly. I braced the shaking fingertips of my free hand on the table top, and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

The five of us sat back down, and Minerva went on, “Let your time here at Hogwarts be time of light and hope. And on that note, let our feast begin!” She waved her hand, and the tables filled with food of every kind. I looked down the table in time to see Neville reach over Wilhelmina and grasp Minerva’s hand tightly, as a rogue tear fell from her cat-like eyes. 

I took a shaky breath, and whispered said to Marta, “that explains why she wanted us all together.” She nodded, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. I reached out and held her hand tightly again, sharing a tight smile before turning to our plates. 

The rest of the feast was magnificent, and by the end, we’d all eaten too much and were savoring the last evening before the hustle and bustle of classes. Minerva stood and told the students they would be greeted and dismissed by their Head of House. 

“That’s new,” I mused. The four Heads stood, but before leaving, Neville pulled Hannah, Axios, Marta and I into a tight group hug. When he finally let us go to make his way to the Gryffindor table, the three of us women were in tears all over. Axios found my hand and squeezed, but was already disappearing through the crowd when I looked up. 

I was drying my eyes when they group of Ravenclaws approached the high table and grinned at me. “It’s brilliant you’re back, really brilliant!”

“You’re great, none of the other St Mungo’s healers held a candle to you…”

“Please tell me you’ll be staying…” 

“You were the nicest 8th year, I never forgot that…”

Their compliments and praise overlapped and muffled each other, but they brought fresh tears to my eyes and I laughed. “Yes, I’m staying! Now off to bed, all of you. I won’t have you in my office tomorrow begging for a wakefulness potion because you were all up into the wee hours!” 

They grumbled good-naturedly and set off towards the doors to the Great Hall. I was making it down the steps when a 4th year girl from Hufflepuff and a 2nd year boy from Slytherin almost bowled me over. I recognized the siblings immediately, as I’d spent hours with them both when their mother had been hospitalized at St Mungo’s with an acromantula bite. I hugged them both tightly, and sent them off to their common rooms as well. 

“They really love you,” Mathieu murmured. 

I watched the retreating siblings as they rejoined their houses and friends. 

“It helps that I really love them too.” I whispered ruefully. 

We watched in silence as the Great Hall emptied, and the students were led by their prefects and followed by their House Head to their dormitories. 

“Well.” Mathieu gestured at the door. “Shall we?” I followed his lead, and we ambled up the stairs to our chambers. We kept a companionable silence between us until we reached the corridor to our chambers, and he cleared his throat. 

“I was wondering…” I stopped in my tracks, my stomach knotting. “I have a healing potion on the syllabus for some of my OWL students. I was wondering if you’d be able to come and speak to them about how and when it’s used. To give them some perspective rather than just making another potion.”

My stomach relaxed and I took a slow breath. “Of course. If you tell me which potion it is, I can take a look and see what I can pull together.” I took a few steps towards my chamber door and stopped again.

I turned toward him and before my nerve could fail I blurted out, “I never really said thank you. For that night at the party. It was really kind of you to listen, you didn’t have to do that.” I waited for the burning rush to wash over my skin, but it didn’t come. Instead I was just looking up into his face somewhat steadily, and for a second I felt an urge to kiss him. And then he stepped closer and my heart jumped into my throat. 

“Anytime,” he breathed, and I could smell rich coffee and almost taste chocolate on my tongue.

I dropped my eyes from his, and whispered “goodnight,” before disappearing into my rooms. I leaned against the door, breathing hard. That was the exact moment when I decided that the Sorting Hat had definitely not put me in Gryffindor for a reason. 

~~~

The first morning of classes I fussed for far too long over the way my hair sat over the collar of my burgundy robes, and I couldn’t decide on the right shade of lipstick so I ended up a bit late to breakfast. The Heads of Houses were finishing up with their students class schedules, and most of the professors had already come and gone. I took a seat a ways off from the remaining staff members, and played with my oatmeal more than I ate it. 

I grumbled under my breath, “Overcame fear my…” But was interrupted by Neville who collapsed into the chair next to me with a huff. 

“Every bloody term I tell myself to eat _before_ schedules. And _every bloody tern_ I just can’t help myself and I get halfway through the 5th years and want to strangle them.”

“Well 5 and a half years worth of students is quite impressive…” 

“I start with the 7th years,” he said flatly, loading his plate with toast and eggs. 

“Well that’s your problem. Start with the young eager ones.”

“Tried that. I learned I needed to do those last to keep me from murdering the older ones.” He started eating, well, shoveling, his food, and I shook my head. 

“Yeah… best just eat before schedules next term, then.” 

He glared at me, but his full cheeks negated the effect and I laughed. He just shook his head and kept eating.

After breakfast, I returned to the hospital wing and found a note on my desk. I didn’t recognize the sky blue wax seal, but I broke it open and read, 

_Vivienne_ , 

_My OWL students are to be brewing Draught of Peace in October. If you have anything that will make this lesson more impactful, I would most appreciate it. Class will be Wednesday at 2 pm, and Thursday at 10 am. We can coordinate days a little closer to the lesson, if that works for you._

_Merci beaucoup,_

_Mathieu_

My face grew hot, and I realized the effects of the potion must have worn off now. I took a fresh vial from my desk and swallowed it, immediately feeling the heat fade from my face. 

I was just in time, because just then, Madam Hooch came in with a first year Slytherin student with a broken tibia. I left the note on my desk, and moved to help. By the time lunch rolled around, I’d fixed the broken leg, administered two doses of pepper-up potion to students with colds, healed a rather nasty gash from a student that had been in Care of Magical Creatures, and was currently determining that the 5th year in front of me had taken a bite of a Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes Skiving Snackbox; lost the other end with the cure, thus forcing him to vomit violently over most of the corridor from Arithmancy to the hospital wing. The stunt had earned him the wrath of Mr Filch, the caretaker, and a ruined appetite for any more of the Weasley’s sweets.

I suggested that if vomiting was a more appealing use of his time than Arithmancy, he should talk to Professor Sinistra to change his course schedule. He shook his head miserably, and I tucked him into a bed for a few hours with pumpkin juice and crackers to recover.


	8. The Antidote

September 4, 2006

I was just finishing scourgifying the last vomit-covered corner of the hospital wing when Marta popped in with a tray from the kitchens. 

“The first few days are always the worst up here. I figured you could use some lunch.” She set the tray on my desk and looked over my unfinished chart notes. “Broken leg on your first day. Nice!” She giggled. 

I rolled my eyes and cast a silencing charm at my door. “I’ll take the broken leg over the joker with the puke _any day_.” I said, pulling the cover off the tray to reveal a tempting stack of pasties and veg. “Ugh you are the best. There is no way I would have made it down.” 

Marta caught sight of the corner of Mathieu’s note and pulled it free. “Ohh. He’s already asking for help with his lessons?” She waggled an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes with a full mouth. 

I swallowed and quickly said, “He asked last night. Said that he thought having the potion be put in perspective would help his students rather than just having them brew another potion.” 

Marta studied the note in her hand a moment longer, and said slowly, “that’s actually a really good idea…” I could see the gears in her head turning and she drummed her fingers on the desk. I let her think as I swallowed some more food, and started a pot of tea. 

She grabbed a piece of parchment and started scribbling furiously. I only caught bits of it, “potions-herbology,” “charms-defense against the dark arts,” and various professors names. She rolled it up, her eyes shining, and exclaimed, “ I have to go!” She was to the door when her way was blocked by Mathieu. She smacked him lightly on the chest with the parchment, and told him, “You two are downright geniuses!” 

He looked over at me, confusion plastered over his face and I just sighed. “I have no idea. I’ve learned not to ask questions when the Slytherins get that look in their eye. Come have a cup of tea.” I set one down for him and sat down at my desk to finish the chart notes. 

“I did not mean to catch you at a bad time…” he said uneasily, looking over the stack of unfinished notes, the tray of half eaten food and the teapot. 

I waved him off. “This is nothing. Did you need something?” 

He sat down in the chair beside my desk and took the proffered teacup. He took a sip before saying, “I just wanted to make sure you got my note. I know you are busy and I did not want you to think that I was expecting anything.” 

I waved the note in my left hand and kept charting. “It’s no problem. I’ve already thought of multiple cases that I’ve used it on, to great success.” I looked up when he was quiet, and saw him smirking at me over his teacup. 

“You like to be busy, no?” His eyes swept over my desk again. 

I set my quill down and deliberated over his observation. “Yes. I suppose I do,” I finally said. “It keeps me in the here and now, rather than worrying about the future or grieving over the past.” 

He didn’t react to that, just took another sip of his tea. I took a sip of my own and then asked, “Are you the type that likes to be busy?” He looked perplexed at the question. I shrugged a shoulder. “You’re not the only one that gets to ask questions anymore.” 

He cocked his head and thought hard for a moment. “I do not know that there would be much point to my life if I was not,” he answered firmly. 

I nodded, and took a sip of tea. I pushed my cowardice aside, and inquired, “How did you get to know Neville? He said he knew you before you got the job here.” I looked into my mostly-empty teacup, rather than meeting the painfully soft, yet piercing eyes that seemed to probe the deepest, darkest corners of my soul. 

“I…” he cleared his throat. “We actually met at St Mungo’s.” He didn’t continue, and when I looked up he was examining his own teacup. I waited patiently for him to go on, mind bursting with questions. Then my luck ran out. 

“Viv!” I jumped to my feet, and watched as Neville and a seventh year Hufflepuff boy pulled a sixth year Ravenclaw girl into the hospital wing. The girl’s skin had gone rather concerning shade of violet, and she was barely conscious. 

“What…” I gasped as they hauled her onto a bed. 

“Venomous tentacula juice,” Neville gasped, doubled over, chest heaving. 

“How much did she ingest?” I demanded, examining the girl. 

“I… I don’t know,” the Hufflepuff boys voice trembled and he was on the brink of tears. “I was helping Professor Longbottom trim them… I… I think… I think some got on my neck and when she…” he dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands. I glanced at his neck and saw a tell-tale love bite overlapping violent purple splotches. 

“Neville get him out of my way and into a bed. He needs the antidote too.” Neville’s breathing was still labored but he and Mathieu pulled the boy from my path and wrestled him into a bed. I thought back to my antidote training, and swore. The antidote I needed hadn’t been in the storeroom yesterday. 

“I don’t have it!” I whispered to Neville. “There weren't any antidotes in the store room and I haven’t had a chance to brew any…” I glanced towards the fireplace. “I’ll have to get some from St Mungo’s and I don’t know how long it will take…” 

“Wait!” Mathieu ran from the room. 

“She can’t wait long,” I murmured to Neville. The seconds ticked by, and the girl’s breathing got increasingly shallow. 

“Here!” Mathieu exploded back into the room, a small bottle of antidote in his hands. “I keep a stock of most antidotes and antivenoms,” he croaked as I unstoppered the vial. 

The liquid reminded me of buttermilk, a soft yellow speckled with white. I couldn’t smell it from where I was, but I knew it was vile. Seven drops. They dripped slowly from the narrow-necked bottle, into the girls parted lips. After the first two drops, her breathing eased. After the fourth, she moaned quietly. After the seventh, her eyes fluttered open. 

I let out a sigh of relief and turned to the boy. “You too. It absorbs through the skin.” He gagged over every drop, but took them without complaint.

Twenty minutes later, both students were alert, the purple slowly fading from their skin. I drew the curtains around their beds, with strict instructions to stay put until I came back. 

I motioned for the two men to accompany me to my office, and once inside I re-conjured the silence charm and sat heavily in my chair, sighing. I set the bottle in the middle of my desk, staring intently at it. Neville dropped into the chair Mathieu had abandoned, and Mathieu pressed his back to the wall, arms crossed, letting his head fall back and eyes close. 

Neville pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and swore. “Bloody hormonal teenagers!” He moaned. “I was in my office for less than ten sodding minutes and I have two poisoned students.” 

Mathieu opened his eyes, and his eyes were icy as they bored into mine. I tried not to shrink under his stormy gaze, so far from the inviting expression he’d had during tea. I broke eye contact and summoned the students charts from the records room to begin their chart notes. 

“Thanks Viv,” Neville huffed thickly. 

“I think the credit here goes to Mathieu,” I corrected him softly. I looked up, and the taller man’s expression had gone positively murderous. I physically recoiled, eyes wide, shrinking back into my chair. Neville saw my reaction and whipped around. 

“It’s not her fault, mate.” Neville said lowly, putting himself between me and the other man. “Viv had no way of knowing. Our storerooms have been pretty bare since Poppy left, and she just got here!”

“That is no excuse,” Mathieu hissed through clenched teeth. His knuckles were white around his own biceps and I wondered for a moment if he was going to tear through the soft-looking sweater. 

“Matt, mate. This isn’t Andrew.” I saw Neville’s hand close around the handle of his wand, and I instinctively inched towards mine as well. 

Guilt flashed through Mathieu’s eyes for a moment before the icy anger returned. I prepared for the worst, a defensive spell on my lips; instead, he turned and strode from my office. The hospital wing door slammed behind him, and I winced. 

Neville’s shoulders relaxed, and he turned to face me, shaking his head. “‘’M sorry, Viv. That was uncalled for.” 

“What in the bloody hell was that?” I snapped, hands shaking. “Who is Andrew and why did he just act like I tried to murder those kids?!” My voice was rising in pitch and volume, the dismay and anger bleeding into one another. 

Neville returned to his seat and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes again, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s not my story, Viv,” he sighed apologetically. “You of all people should understand that.” 

“To hell with that Neville!” I yelled, my temper flaring. I slammed the charts of the two students down next to him. I turned to the window behind me, fighting the anger down and the tears from spilling. I took a steadying breath and attempted an even tone. “I need a list of every poisonous and venomous plant you have, please. Tonight. And if you see Wilhelmina, I need the same from her.” I braced my hands on my hips, still staring out the window. 

“I’ll find her and you’ll have both lists by dinner,” Neville answered meekly. 

“Both students will be able to return to their lessons tomorrow. You may go,” I dismissed him coldly. 

He let out a slow breath, but then I heard his footsteps retreating. It was several long moments before I felt composed enough to check on the three students. I sent the vomiting Slytherin back to his dormitory, and deemed the Hufflepuff well enough to go as well, but he insisted on staying until the Ravenclaw girl was released as well. The purple tinge was still fading from her skin, but she was recovering nicely. 

“Fine,” I grated out. “But if I catch anyone’s hands on anyone that isn’t themselves, you’ll both get detention.” They nodded obediently, and I returned to my desk, pulling open an older edition of _Magical Healing and Remedies_ and began a list of common antidotes and their ingredients. I categorized them by likelihood of need and brewing time, starting with the most useful but quickest to produce. 

By four, I’d deemed both poisoning victims suitable for release, and sent them on their way. There had been another student with a cold needing a Pepper-up dose, and a badly cast jelly-legs jinx that had somehow turned the recipient a rather interesting shade of orange, but the afternoon had been significantly less demanding than the morning had been. 

I’d finished one antidote and was beginning another when an owl tapped on my window with a note from Wilhelmina, listing the potential hazards of her magical creatures. I was able to cross about half of them off based on the two I’d already made, and was able to cross the rest off based on the list I would be making next. At the end of the note she included several suggested charms and spells for other potential magical-creature-induced injuries, and I made a note to research each one thoroughly. 

I was finishing the last chart note of the day when Hannah came into my office with a tray and a message from Neville. 

“I heard you’ve had a hell of a first day,” she noted as she replaced the tray of pasties Marta had brought earlier with a bowl of stew and a piece of tarte au citron. I hummed in acknowledgment, but continued my note. “Neville guessed you might be up here doing this and wouldn’t come to dinner.” She picked up the list of antidotes and ingredients and scanned over it. “You’ve got a solid list here, and I think it will cover everything he has….” she smiled over the parchment at me. “But being you I know you’re going to triple check it anyway.” Her smile faltered when I didn’t return it. 

“Hannah did you need something?” I asked pointedly. “I have a lot to do.” I tapped on the stack of students charts on my desk. She didn’t need to know they were all done, and I just wanted to be alone. 

I could tell my words stung, and she put the list back on my desk. “Just… Neville told me what Mathieu said. And it wasn’t your fault. He was out of line.” She shook her head. “He made it personal and he shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I was unprepared. It’s as simple as that. It’s my job to be prepared to help the students in any capacity and I should have been ready for anything.” I turned to the simmering cauldron and stirred it counter-clockwise four times, then clockwise once as I added 16 dung beetle eyes. The potion bubbled and turned fuschia. I turned the heat off, casting a charm to alert me after 142 seconds. 

“I refuse to be caught off guard again. Professor Dumont was correct and I had no valid excuse.”

“Viv nobody can be prepared for anything.” Her voice was soft and anxious. “Don’t put that on yourself. Even Poppy was at a loss sometimes after who knows how many decades here. It’s only your first day, after all.” 

I slammed my palm down on the desk, making the tray tremble. “I’m not Poppy.” I snapped. ”And I could have been prepared for that. We all know the Venomous Tentacula is poisonous and could be harmful to students. I should have had the antidote ready.” 

Hannah bit her cheek and pursed her lips into a thin line. “Okay.” She moved to the doorway. “I’ll leave you to it then.” I glared after her as she departed until my wand alerted me to the potion. 

I turned back to it, finding it had thickened satisfactorily, lightening to a bubble-gum pink color and I divided it into vials. I labeled each one with the contents and date, as some of them needed to be replaced after so long to keep them effective. I stowed them in the storage closet, and looked at the mostly empty shelf. 

Two down. Too many to go. 

~~~

The grey evening stretched into dark night, but I didn’t retire to the staff common room or to my chambers. I brewed potion after potion, determined to have all my bases covered in case of another emergency like today’s. Between each phase, I paced around my office, reading from _Magical Healing and Remedies._ I was going to know it like the back of my wand when I was finished. 

I made it to the fifth potion on my list, and was on my fourth try. My eyes were heavy and my stomach was in knots. I looked at the clock. Three in the morning. The frame on my wall had been vacant for most of the day, leaving before the poisoned students had come in, but he sidled back in as I swore and vanished the ruined potion. 

“Go to bed, darling,” he yawned. “There is always tomorrow!” I was tempted to stay and try once more, but instead admitted defeat. 

I reorganized my supplies with a wave of my wand, and filed away the finished charts. I caught my reflection in the dark window, and stopped. My auburn hair was still twisted up, but tendrils had escaped around my face and neck. The lipstick I’d chosen this morning was still in place, the deep red a stark contrast against my pale skin. There were dark circles under my eyes, and the brown of my irises looked darker than normal. I looked at myself, tired and defeated and wondered for the hundredth time that day if this is really where I was supposed to be.


	9. The Auror

The next morning I woke to a splitting headache and an overwhelming dread at the thought of facing Mathieu Dumont. I dressed quickly, hurrying down to breakfast hoping I’d be in and out before he showed up. 

As I reached the hall, I scanned the high table to make sure I hadn’t missed the sound of his door. He wasn’t there, but I looked for a safety bubble, just in case. Axios and Aurora had a place between them, and I decided that as I needed to speak to Axios anyway, that was probably my best bet. 

I slipped into the seat, and nodded hello to Aurora. 

“Axios! I’m so glad to see you.” I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“Morning, Livvy.” he grinned. “It’s good to see you too. I haven’t gotten to say welcome back yet! Minerva needed me to revamp most of the Muggle-repelling wards and I haven’t had a chance to come see you. How did your first day with students go?” There. Not avoiding me. 

I grimaced. “It could have been a lot better. But that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I was wondering if you had any free time in the next day or two. I wanted to get your take on a few different antidotes and countercurses.” I took some eggs from the platter in front of me and buttered a slice of toast. 

“You know I’ll find time for you anytime, love.” He winked. “I’ve got a free prep period this afternoon after lunch. Will that work?” 

I gave him a playful shove and laughed. “You cheeky sod. You haven’t changed a bit.” I smiled affectionately at my old House-mate. “This afternoon would be great. Can you come to my office? I’m a little afraid to leave it unattended after the chaos yesterday.” 

He smirked and winked again. “Your office, one o’clock. I’ll be there with bells on.” 

I beamed, and then deadpanned, “Please don’t actually come in bells. I’m pretty sure you wore that one out by my first year.” 

He snickered. “Oh but ole Professor Snape loved the bells!” 

“Didn’t he give you a months’ worth of detention cleaning out cauldrons for your smart mouth your first week?” I giggled, thinking of the quick-tempered potions master. 

“Yeah. I’m fairly certain I didn’t finish the whole month though. He got after the Weasley twins and forgot about me.” We shared a sad smile. Professor Severus Snape and Fred Weasley had both perished in the Battle of Hogwarts. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tall figure sporting black muggle attire at the far end of the hall; I stood quickly, abandoning my half eaten eggs and toast. “Ok I’ll see you at one, yeah?” I hurried down the steps and called over my shoulder, “And no bells! I’ll give you detention myself!” I cut through the trophy room, skirting past glass display cases and avoiding passing Mathieu on my way out.

I passed the house point hourglasses, stopping to read the words etched beneath the one filled with rubies. Bravery, determination, daring, and courage… I snorted. Definitely didn’t belong in Gryffindor, as I literally ran from my current problem. The sapphire filled glass however, glinted in the morning light and I traced the words with a finger. Wisdom, cleverness, learning, and wit. I prided myself on my house since the first day in these halls, and I thought of the hours I’d spent learning everything I could about healing. The blue of my outstretched sleeve closely matched the gems, and I smiled, finding a bit of comfort in the parallel. 

A door slammed in the hallway, and I turned back towards the hospital wing, feeling slightly less defeated. I had the knowledge to be of worth here, and I wouldn’t ever stop learning, that much I was sure of. 

Making the trek up to the hospital wing, I watched in awe as the halls filled with students, bringing the castle to life. The sea of black-robed students with patches of emerald green, scarlet, royal blue and canary yellow undulated through the corridors dotted with silvery semi-translucent ghosts. Here and there I spotted other staff members, and I greeted them with a nod or wave. It amused me to see how my presence affected the students behavior.

I caught sight of the poisoned couple from yesterday, and attempted to channel my inner Minerva as they dropped each other’s hands the moment they saw me, guilt rushing over their features. I didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow and hoped the effect was calm sternness and not amusement. 

“Morning Miss Beaulieu,” they muttered in unison as I passed, eyes cast down. I returned the greeting, and continued down the corridor. I watched as a fifth year Slytherin boy directed a first year Hufflepuff towards the Transfiguration classrooms, and a group of second year Gryffindors gathered around a box that was smoking slightly, held by a fourth year Ravenclaw. They whispered excitedly and I caught something about Care of Magical Creatures. 

I was smiling until I caught a Gryffindor casting a Bat-Bogey Hex on a Slytherin, and watched as another Slytherin retaliated with a Body-Bind curse. I released the Gryffindor from the body-bind and rounded on the three. “Twenty points from Slytherin and ten from Gryffindor.” I snapped. “Get to class now or its detention.” They looked adequately penitent, despite their shared glares as they scrambled towards the charms classroom. 

I was still shaking my head and internally cursing the house rivalries when I made it back to my office. The portrait on the wall yawned loudly and then exclaimed, “Back again, I see.” I nodded, yawning myself as I set up my cauldron and picked through my ingredients for the potion I’d given up on. He was nodding back to sleep as I got to work. 

~~~

The clocktower chimed noon as I corked the first bottle of the batch of anti-venom, and I made quick work of the rest. I left the six bottles on my desk and rushed down to the Great Hall for lunch. I took the empty seat on the very end of the table, next to Septima Vector, the Arithmancy professor. I picked through a salad and was relieved when she didn’t attempt any small talk. I escaped back to the relative quiet of the hospital wing, and was shelving the anti-venom when I heard unmistakable whistle of Axios Fairview. 

Axios had been a year ahead of me in school, and had been Ravenclaw as well. His barrel-chested strength had been a boon to the house’s Quidditch team as a beater, though we’d never won the cup. He was slightly shorter and much stockier than either Mathieu or Neville, but still plenty tall with a mane of thick, black curls. His dark eyes were perpetually curious, and he was one of the most honorable men I’d ever met. During our school years we’d joked that if we weren’t in Ravenclaw, I’d be in Hufflepuff and he’d surely be in Gryffindor. After he left, he’d gone through Auror training with Neville and worked with them for a couple years before deciding that like Neville, he’d rather teach. I knew he still worked with them over the summer holiday though. He’d come across my ward at St Mungo’s far too often as a result.

“I’m back here,” I called, and the whistling got closer. He settled against the door jam, and eyed the neat rows of potions I’d been making. He nodded his approval, black eyes flicking over the labels. “I’ve got a few left to do, but I think I’ve got some of the most important ones here…” I trailed off, biting my lip. 

“Blimey, you’re making more?” His thick eyebrows disappeared under his mop of dark hair. “Is there something I should know or did you join the scouts when I wasn’t looking?” 

I shrugged, avoiding his sharp eyes. “Just had a scare. I don’t want to be caught off guard.” I pushed past him and into my office. 

He followed, dropping into the chair that still sat beside my desk. 

“Have a good summer? I was disappointed you weren’t at the staff party before term.” I tried to keep my tone light and conversational.

“I was on my way back from my gran’s in Greece after a couple Auror missions in Italy. Damn Ministry is making customs ridiculous now they don’t have anything better to do with themselves,” he whined good-naturedly. “Summer was great though. Met up with a couple curse-breakers, got a couple good stories out of it.” He grinned. “Pretty sure it was more fun than another stuffy night here.”

I laughed. “I dunno, Filius and Minerva broke out the firewhiskey. It wasn’t too bad, really.” My smile faltered as I looked at the list on my desk, thinking of the reason behind it. 

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” He asked carefully. He didn’t miss much; he never had. I handed him my list of antidotes, antivenoms, and countercurses as an answer. He scanned down it, letting out a low whistle when he finished. “I can’t think of anything outstanding you haven’t covered. What the hell happened?” He handed the list back to me. 

“Some kids were snogging around the Venomous Tentacula. They both came in yesterday afternoon with juice poisoning and I didn’t have the antidote.” I waved the list. “This is to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” 

Axios nodded. “Did you get it from St Mungo’s?” 

“The antidote? No… Professor Dumont has a stash, apparently.” 

I must’ve looked uncomfortable because Axios leaned forward intently. “And…?” 

“And nothing. We got them them antidote, they’re fine. I saw them together after breakfast this morning.” I crossed my arms. 

“But you stayed up all night making potions even though you’re aware that there is a stock next door because you were bored, right?” Axios tapped the list on my desk. “And listed more countercurses than half of the Aurors I know use in a year.” 

I felt my cheeks growing warm. The potion must’ve worn off again. “He was bloody livid, alright?!” I glared at the spot on the wall that Mathieu had leaned against. “He said I had no excuse not to have it, and he was right.”

Axios’ eyebrows drew together in confusion. “The kid?” 

“No. Dumont.” My embarrassment was evident in the burning of my cheeks. 

His eyebrows drew tighter together. “He’s the potions master, not the damn preparedness police,” His voice was a tad harsher than I expected. 

“Neville made it sound like there was a reason for it but wouldn’t tell me anything more.”

“Longbottom should’ve hexed him into next week for talking to you like that.” Axios’ dark expression was bordering on downright hatred. 

“If I wanted him hexed I could have done it myself. I don’t need Neville doing my dirty work,” I replied scornfully. 

His eyes softened, and he conceded, “You always could take care of yourself.” He sat back, and crossed his legs. “But don’t let him walk all over you, love. There’s been enough of that here.” He sniffed. “I’m really starting to think being insufferable is a requirement for the damned position.” 

I thought back to the two potions masters that had tenured during my years as a student. Both had been head of Slytherin House and both had left a rather bad taste in my mouth. Horace Slughorn had obvious favorites and indulged himself far too often; Severus Snape had not just favored his own house’s students, but had been downright cruel at times. They’d been competent teachers, true, but personally… Personally they had left wanting. I’d heard the story of how selfless Snape had been, saving Hogwarts and undermining He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but I couldn’t help but think it didn’t quite make up for his shortcomings. 

I shrugged again, looking over my list again. “I don’t know what to think, honestly. We’d been getting on fine. He was here having tea when the poisoning cases came in.” 

Axios’ mouth hardened, and he paused for a moment. “Well maybe it would be best to avoid him.” 

“Avoid who?” At the sound of his voice, I shot up out of my chair, snapping my head up to look at the newcomer. 

“You, actually.” Axios drawled from his seat, scowling over his shoulder. 

My face burned. “Axios!” I scolded him sharply. 

Mathieu at least had the grace to look ashamed, the tips of his ears turning pink. “I suppose I deserve that.” He glanced uneasily at the dark-haired wizard next to me. “I did not mean to interrupt.” 

“But here you are anyway. What do you want?” Axios demanded flatly. 

“ _ Axios _ ,” My tone warning him to settle down. He turned his back on the man in the doorway, his expression indignant. “What do you need, Professor Dumont?” 

He winced at my coldness, but didn’t back away. “A student had an accident with his potion. His burn is not responding to my treatments.” 

I nodded curtly, and he shifted uneasily for a moment before retreating to the ward. 

“Axios was that really necessary?” I lamented. 

He was already standing, glaring daggers at the doorway and he snorted. “Absolutely.”


	10. The Reason

The burned student turned out to be a fourth year Ravenclaw who had lost count as he was adding doxy eggs to his girding potion. 

Axios casually observed as I carefully cleaned the shiny red burn and smeared a healing salve over it. I gave the student instructions to come back in 24 hours to allow me to reassess its healing progress, and sent him back to class, just as the bells sounded for class change. 

Once he was gone, Axios put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed gently. “You’re a hell of a healer, Livvy.” 

I returned the one-armed hug and whispered, Thanks. But if you call me Livvy again you’re gonna need a healer yourself.” 

He roared with laughter, and wrapped his other arm around me as well. I stayed there for a moment, and realized how nice it felt. I hadn’t been hugged while happy and laughing like that since Ben. He was solid and warm, and smelled like cinnamon with a sharp bite of lemon and a fresh sea breeze; better than I remembered. I heard the sounds of students coming down the hall and pulled away before they saw and started rumors. 

“You should get back to your classroom.” I suddenly felt cold after being deprived of his warmth, and my chest tightened. “It was good seeing you though. We’ll need to do it again soon.”

He nodded, his eyes raking over my face. “Yeah we will,” he murmured. He squeezed my arm one last time and hurried out the door. I watched his olive green robes disappear around the corner before turning away and wrapped my arms around myself.

“Cold?” 

I jumped, spinning around. I shot a dirty look at the tall, lean silhouette in the door. 

“Were you  _ waiting  _ for him to leave?” My cheeks felt hot again. 

“I did not want to interrupt again,” he drifted closer. “And I wanted to apologise, but he is… protective, it seems. I did not think my apology would satiate him.” His blue eyes were guarded, pleading. “I wanted to apologise,” he repeated. 

I closed my eyes, resigned to the knowledge that he was going to keep cornering me until I heard him out. “I need tea,” I declared, turning back to my office. 

I busied myself with the teapot, refusing to look at him. He was in black trousers and a blue collared shirt with another soft-looking sweater layered over it. This one was grey, and I noticed that it irritatingly brought out his eyes nicely. When the tea was ready, I poured two cups and shoved one towards him roughly. I sat down as gracefully as I could manage, noticing with some measure of satisfaction the surprised expression at being offered the tea. 

I took a sip and set the cup down before looking at him expectantly. 

He pulled the chair back fractionally, before perching on the edge of it. I hadn’t seen him look so uncomfortable, and I would have felt bad if it wasn’t for the aggravation boiling beneath my cool façade. 

“I…” he swallowed hard. “I was…” he cleared his throat. “My behavior was unacceptable,” he professed. “I allowed personal experiences to cloud my judgement, and I spoke harshly out of misplaced distress.” He looked at his hands holding the teacup, and swallowed hard again. “You are a good healer. Most would not have recognized the signs of tentacula poisoning as quickly as you did in the boy.” 

I sat quietly, watching him fight within himself. His hair was messier than I had seen it, as if he’d been running his hands through it repeatedly. 

“I came in, at lunch time…” he suddenly looked up at me. “I saw the antidotes in the storeroom, and your plans,” his eyes dropped to my list, still on the desktop. “You…” His voice was getting rough now, and he cleared his throat once more . “You did not deserve my actions.” He hung his head, and I watched him wordlessly. 

“Who is Andrew?” I finally asked softly. 

His shoulders sagged even further. His voice cracked when he finally answered, “My little brother was Andrew.” He dragged his hand through his hair, and when he looked up, his eyes looked haunted and yet distinctly child-like. 

The anger and resentment I felt began to dissolve. I just nodded. I saw movement in the ward behind him and I stood. I pushed a box of tissues toward him, and told him to stay in a low voice. 

The scene that met me broke my heart as much as the one I’d left in my office. A young Hufflepuff girl sobbed into her robes, pulled up around her face to her eyes, while another stood by attempting to console her. 

“It was an accident, and it’s really not that bad! At least you weren’t turned into a  _ whole  _ pig…” the girl sobbed harder at that, and I stepped in. 

“That’s enough, thank you. You may return to class.” The offending student shrugged and left. I pulled the curtains securely around the bed, and sat down next to the girl, pulling her into my arms. “Shhh. It’s okay. Take a deep breath. There you go. And another.” 

The girl slowly regulated her breathing while I kept my arms around her. “Can you let me see?” The girls fingers tightened around the robes obscuring her face, and she whimpered. “I need to see it so I know how to fix it, okay?” I stroked her light brown hair gently, and she squeezed her eyes shut, but lowered her robes. The lower half of her face including her nose and mouth had been transfigured into that of a pig. A few uttered words, and her face was back to normal. 

“There we are. All better.” She opened her eyes and felt her face with her fingertips. I summoned a mirror and handed it to her. She promptly burst back into tears. 

“He did it on purpose,” she sobbed. “He did it on purpose I know he did!” I pulled her back into my arms and let her cry. Her sobs eventually calmed to sniffles, but she held onto my arm tightly. “I don’t want to go back to class. What if he does it again?” 

I shook my head. “You’re not going back right now. I’m going to give you a Calming Draught, and you’re going to rest.” I loosed my hold on her, but she gasped and started to hyperventilate again. “Shhh. You’re ok now. You’re safe.” I tightened my hold, and summoned the potion instead. The vial dropped into my hand, the blue liquid inside shimmering. I opened it, careful to keep my arms around her, and urged her to drink it.

She swallowed it, and quickly her body relaxed. I laid her back in the bed, and she fell asleep as I tucked a blanket around her. I stepped out of the partitioned area, and drew the curtains closed behind me. I looked in my office, and saw with dismay it was empty again. 

I sat down at my desk and huffed, irritated. “The Potions Master wanted me to give you a message.” My eyes jerked to the portrait on the wall. 

“Yes?” I breathed, stomach dropping. 

The old man scratched his nose nonchalantly. “He said he had to go prepare for a class but hoped he would see you at dinner,” he monotoned. Raising an eyebrow, he looked pointedly at the chair beside my desk. “Seems he has some competition though, eh?” 

I blinked. “What?” 

“The pretty Greek one,” he rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. 

I started. “Axios? But he’s just a…”

“Friend?” The portrait smirked. “My, my, how original.” With that, he sidled out of view and I was left with my thoughts. 

~~~

A few hours later, I was finishing the next potion and my head was still swimming. Usually potion making helped me think, focusing on something at hand clarifying everything else. Today, it was not the case and I was starting to envy the second year Hufflepuff girl still sleeping peacefully on the ward. 

Artimus Gibble trailed in, and asked about the girl, Halley. After a quick check confirming she was still sleeping, we retreated to my office. 

“She said it was done on purpose,” I said tightly, my mouth twisting in displeasure. “I’m inclined to believe her, based on the outcome.” 

“Macnair said it was an accident, but she wouldn’t move her robes. I only caught a glimpse of it and she was hysterical. I thought you’d have more luck getting her to calm down than I would in the middle of study hall,” Artimus paused, picking at his nails. 

I felt the blood drain from my face. “Did you say Macnair?” I whispered, a knot forming in my stomach. 

“Yeah he’s a sixth year Slytherin,” he didn’t seem to notice my apprehension. “Good kid. Really has a gift for transfiguration. I think he’s a little…”

I held a hand up to stop him. “Were you aware that his father was a Death Eater?” 

Artimus shifted awkwardly in his chair. “Yes, but he…”

“And his brother was convicted of killing a girl for defending muggle-borns, just last year?” The knot it my stomach forced bile into my throat. 

Artimus blanched, shaking his head soundlessly. 

“ I can almost guarantee that girl is a muggle-born.” My voice cracked, “and the pig was deliberate. He was implying that she is dirty for her blood-status.” 

Artimus swore, voice gravelly. “Bloody hell. I didn’t know.” He shifted in the chair and continued picking at his nails. “I don’t even know what to do about that.” He confessed. 

“I would take it to Aurora and Minerva, if not straight to Hermione Granger at the Ministry. This needs to be stopped.” My voice was firm. “That chapter is over.” 

He nodded, and left shortly thereafter. I checked on Halley again, and she blinked lethargically up at me. “Would you like a cup of tea, dear?” She nodded, sitting up and yawning. I made two cups and brought them over, perching on the end of her bed. “Are you feeling better now?”

She nodded again. “Yes, thank you,” her voice wobbled slightly. She took a sip, and seemed to savor it. “It’s the same tea my mum uses,” she smiled, her eyes lighting up slightly. 

I smiled back. “It’s my favorite. I always have some on hand if you need a cup,” I told her. “My mum is a firm believer that a good cup of tea will fix even some of the worst days, and I’m inclined to say she’s right.” 

“My mum says the same thing. She says magic won’t fix my problems but tea might.” She snorted softly. “But she and dad are muggles. They don’t know what it’s like.” She wrapped her hands a little more tightly around the cup and looked down, abashed. 

“My parents are muggles too. You’d be surprised how much they understand, though.” I took a sip. “You’d think my mum was a Seer with how well she can predict just about everything I do.” I laughed. “She even knew I’d come back to Hogwarts before I did.” 

Halley smiled, then sobered. “Was it true, what Professor McGonagall said?” About you being here when…” she trailed off. 

“Yes, it’s true. I wasn’t here for the battle, but I was here for the rest.” I looked out the window next to the bed, across the Black Lake. 

“Weren’t you scared?” She asked thinly. 

I nodded solemnly. “Yes, I was. I was too scared to come back for my fifth year.” I took a sip of tea. “But I did come back, and it was worth it. It made me stronger.” 

She nodded, and drained her cup. “I think I’m ready to go back now,” she announced.

I smiled proudly. “That’s the spirit. You’re just in time for your last period.” 

She looked relieved. “Good. Potions is my favorite, I would have been mad if I had missed it.” 

I stood, taking her teacup. “Tell Professor Dumont hello for me. And Halley?” She struggled with her book bag, but stopped and looked up at me with round eyes. “Please come back for tea soon.” 

Her face split into a wide smile, and she nodded enthusiastically. “I will. Thanks again, Miss Beaulieu.” She bounced from the ward, and I looked after her warmly. This was the reason I’d become a healer. This is why I’d come back to Hogwarts. 


	11. The Prejudice

That evening after dinner, I ventured down to the staff common room and almost ran into Axios as he was leaving, almost losing my balance in the process. He reached out and steadied me with both hands, and smirked. “You never could do anything slowly,” he teased, and gave my arm a squeeze. “I’m on duty tonight but I'll see you soon, yeah?” He kissed my cheek, and whipped out of the room. 

My cheeks burned from the brush of his lips, and I looked around to see who’s seen. Everyone looked engrossed in their own activities and paid me no mind. Everyone, that is, except for Mathieu. His eyes flicked away before I could make eye contact, and my cheeks blazed hotter. I watched as he stood, and quickly exited the room. 

I caught sight of Marta, tucked into a corner of a sofa near the fireplace grading papers. I joined her, tucking my legs up underneath myself. 

“‘M almost done,” she muttered, marking a grade at the top of one and moving to the next. She got halfway down the page and snorted. “Listen to this bit.” She cleared her throat. “Muggles have actually adapted to travel, deciding that their best option for long distance is attempting flight in big metal birds, rather than apparation or portkeys.” 

“ _ Actually  _ adapted,” I snickered. “As if they had any other option. Though to be fair, muggle planes are quite odd, from a magical standpoint.” 

Marta marked the grade at the top and set the stack aside with a relieved huff. “I swear I’m going to stay on top of if this year ...But I said that last year.” She pulled her legs up under herself as well and turned to face me.

She was about to say something more when Hannah flopped in the space between us, holding a full pudding. “We made it to the first weekend, and I think it’s time to celebrate.” She held out three forks, and Marta and I shared a smile as we each took one. I turned as well so my back was against the arm rest, and we all dug into the trifle. 

“Alright. Tell us what happened.” Hannah mumbled through a mouthful. “You’re a lot less touchy, so it must’ve been good.” 

I felt my cheeks redden again. “I’m sorry about that Hannah.”

She waved me off with her fork. “It’s fine. Get on with it, I’ve been dying to come ask but I thought the Ravenclaws would never stop with questions about troll saliva uses in the 10th century.” She took another bite, and looked at me pointedly. She was a Hufflepuff through and through. 

“Wait sorry for what?” Marta looked between us, bewildered. 

I filled her in, and made quick work of the events until I got to Axios rebuffing Mathieu in my office. Hannah’s eyes got wide, and Marta just shook her head. “He always fancied you, it’s not exactly surprising.” 

I choked on my pudding. “No he hasn’t,” I protested weakly. The looks they both shot at me told me they weren’t convinced. “ _ Anyway _ . After I took care of the burn, Axios gave me a squeeze goodbye, and I think Mathieu saw. He was back the second Axios was gone.” 

“What did you do?” Marta gasped, eyes wide. 

“What do you think I did?! I made tea.” 

Hannah laughed at that. “Of course you did. But did he apologise?” 

I nodded. “But of course before the conversation was properly over, I had another student come in. When I was done, he was gone.” I picked at a spot on the cushion. “I ran into Axios as I came in. He kissed my cheek and Mathieu definitely saw. He left before I could talk to him.” 

Hannah rolled her eyes. “I think he’s as hormonal as some of the students.” 

Marta snorted. “I just want to know what he thinks he’s going to get out of this.” I snorted; there was her Slytherin showing again. 

“Mathieu or Axios?” Hannah giggled. 

“Well… either, really.” Marta shrugged. “I mean unless…” she looked at me inquisitively. 

I glared at her. “Not funny, Marta. That’s definitely not why I’m here.” 

Marta shrugged. “I’m just saying a good shag can help a lot of things.” Hannah nodded enthusiastically, and I buried my face in my hands. 

“Thanks but no thanks. Not with a colleague.” I grimaced. “Not worth the problems after. I learned that lesson the hard way, thank you.”

“Who else are you gonna shag? It’s not like Hogsmead has any eligible bachelors and if you’re getting out of here, I want to know what magic that is because I barely see Neville at all during the week.” Hannah had a point. 

“You sound like Astoria,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Well Draco needs to propose already. Once Astoria is in wedding planning mode she’ll lay off.” Hannah smirked, but it faded and a sadness touched her eyes. “He’s had the ring for ages but I think he felt like he couldn’t do it after his mum died…”

“What even happened to her?” Marta looked between us. 

“As far as they know, some kind of curse, but they never figured out what triggered it or who did it.” Hannah looked sad. “I actually really liked her, and it killed Draco and his father.”

I raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. She shrugged again. 

“You have to know they changed after the war.”

Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy had defected at the end of the war and had been pardoned, but that didn’t make me trust them any more. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots, or so they said. 

“Sure didn’t look like it, with Lucius Malfoy there to support his old Death Eater friend during the trial,” I muttered darkly. Hannah looked surprised at my resentment and animosity. 

“Lucius has been pushing for muggleborn protection laws for years now, though. If he was at a trial, I don’t it was to support a Death Eater. And come on, you know Astoria. She wouldn’t hang around if Lucius was a bastard. He’s always been really nice and polite when I’ve been there.”

Marta looked confused. “Axios’ father is a friend of Lucius Malfoy too, from what I hear. I don’t know him personally, but I have a hard time thinking anyone that raised a damn Auror would be friends with a Death Eater supporter.” 

“Good people can make mistakes,” I insisted, and glared away. I tried not to think of how badly I’d misjudged Ben, but the guilt bubbled up and made my stomach ache. Maybe I was being prejudiced, but the Malfoys had been just as bad as the Macnairs, if not worse. 

We were quiet for a moment, and the clock chimed. It wasn’t very late, but all of our eyes had started to droop, and I was irritated again. 

“I should take this back to the kitchens,” Hannah motioned to the half-eaten pudding in her lap. 

“I’ll do it. I’ve been meaning to go down anyway,” I stood and stretched. Hannah handed it over gratefully, and we said goodnight. I made my way down to the kitchens, and handed off the dish to a house elf, and talked to her about calling on her the days I couldn’t get away. Her name was Lolly, and she was all too pleased to be of service. I left with a bottle of butterbeer as her thanks. 

I was making my way up the grand staircase when I saw Mathieu making his rounds a few floors up. I paused in a doorway, kicking myself for acting so immaturely. I heard a door shut far off, and waited for a few moments before dashing up the stairs as quickly as I could, narrowly catching the landing as it began to move away. I was slightly out of breath when I made it to the corridor of my chambers, and was relieved when the door shut behind me. I stored the butterbeer away and slipped into bed, drifting off almost the moment I closed my eyes. 


	12. The Acromantula

Septmeber 29, 2006

The next several weeks passed without much incident. Axios and Mathieu seemed to avoid each other, and I did my best to avoid them both to be safe. There was a certain rhythm to the students and the castle, and as I settled in, the days began to fade into one another until a Friday night at the end of September. 

I awoke to pounding, but I closed my eyes when I realized it wasn’t my door. And then the shouting started. I threw back the covers, finding my dressing gown and wand in the dim light of the dying fire. I flung the door open to see two men chest to chest, wands drawn. 

“BLOODY CHEEK, IN HER ROOM—” the slightly shorter, much stockier man was bellowing . 

“...WRONG ROOM—” the taller, silk-sporting man roared back, their combined, overlapping shouts echoing down the stone hall. I dove between them, pushing them apart with a shield charm. 

“ARE YOU TRYING TO WAKE THE WHOLE DAMNED CASTLE?!” I physically shoved Mathieu deeper into his room, and Axios into the corridor. “SHUT. UP. Or Merlin help me I will put a tongue-tie jinx on you both.” I wrapped my arms around myself and looked back and forth between them. The men stopped yelling, instead glowering at each other, chests heaving. “Now. What is going on?!” 

Axios ground out, “A student snuck into the Forbidden Forest. I needed you, and found this arsehole in your room.” 

I saw Mathieu rearing up and I cut him off. “This isn’t my room you idiot.” I pointed to the plaque. “I think you better apologise, and then pull your head from your own arse so I can get to the student.” 

My words deflated him a bit, and he backed off. He looked humiliated as he said, “Er… Sorry. My mistake.” 

“Mathieu, go back to bed. Axios, where are they?” He jerked his head towards the entry hall, and I turned on my heel, stalking away from them. 

Axios was close on my heels, and I heard Mathieu mutter just loud enough to hear, “To hell with that,” and his footsteps joined ours. We rushed through the halls, and found the injured student lying on the floor, moaning in pain with a worried looking girl looked on, drying tears streaking her face. 

“What happened?” I demanded as I dropped to my knees. Axios was glaring at Mathieu, but I pushed it from my focus as he writhed in pain, and I caught sight of the blood. A large chunk had been torn from the boy’s thigh, dangerously close to his femoral artery. 

“This giant spider came out of nowhere,” the girl cried. “He pulled me out of the way and it got him. He started screaming and then he just stopped!” 

“Which house are you both from?” I noted neither were in robes and as I began to rip the boys trousers away from the wound. 

“Gryffindor,” she cried. “I told him not to go, but he didn’t listen,” 

I glanced at the girl. “What’s your name?” 

“Brie,” she hiccuped, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper. “Craig is going to be ok, right?” Her eyes begged me silently, and I had to turn away. 

“Mathieu I need you to go to my store room and get the Acromantula anti-venom and essence of dittany. I can't summon them from here, they might break. Axios, go get Neville. Brie, go with Professor Dumont and stay in the hospital wing. Go!” I glanced at the boys face. He seemed so young. Fourth or fifth year, I guessed. 

Mathieu wrapped an arm around the girl and pulled her along with him. She kept looking back and I waited until they were out of sight before whispering to the boy, “I’m so sorry, but this is going to hurt.” With an uttered incantation, I started siphoning the venom out of the wound, moving my wand in short, sure circles over the gaping wound. 

It was said it burned like fiendfyre, but I’d neither been bitten by an acromantula or caught in the cursed fire, so I just hoped for his sake that it wasn’t that bad. Based on his anguished screams reverberating around the deserted entry hall, I feared what I’d heard had been correct. The silvery venom condensed at my wand tip, and I flicked it away every third pass or so. 

Finally, no more of the cloudy venom clung to the tip of my wand, and I stopped the continuous stream of whispered incantation, He’d gone quiet, and my heart pounded in my ears, the silence pressing in on me. 

There was a freezing cold rush over my left hand, the one supporting me as I used my wand hand. I looked up to see the Hufflepuff House Ghost, the Fat Friar, patting my hand. Each pat felt as if I was thrusting my arm into ice, but it was a welcome change of sensation. I didn’t feel the hard stones under my knees, or the cooling puddle of blood under my hand. 

I sat there in silence, allowing the usually jolly ghost to somberly accompany me in my vigil over the student until I finally heard approaching footsteps. Mathieu flew down the stairs towards me, both bottles in hand. I summoned them from his hand, and was pouring the anti-venom down his throat when Mathieu dropped to his knees beside me. He took the dittany and dropped it carefully into the boy’s open wound. It began knitting, and then stopped. 

I must’ve missed some of the venom if it wasn’t working. I threw the empty anti-venom bottle away angrily, shattering it against the stone wall. My eyes filled with tears and this time my hands shook as I traced the small circles over it. Nothing. I repeated the spell louder, and still nothing. “No!” I cried. My shoulders started to shake, and I dropped my wand arm down. I was failing him. I had been too late. 

And then, inexplicably, the flesh began to heal. Slower than I’d ever seen essence of dittany work, but I didn’t care. I watched until the wound had healed over, and turned into a shiny pink scar. When I looked up, I was encircled by the castle ghosts. They formed a shimmering screen around Craig, Mathieu, and me. The Fat Friar still sat beside me, and he smiled proudly at my success. 

I reached out and touched the boy’s ashen face. Even to my frigid fingers, he was cold. I cast a cushioning charm, lifting him from the numbingly cold stones, followed by a warming spell.The stones beneath me softened and warmth washed over me as well, and I realized dimly that Ben must’ve cast the same charms to comfort me. Wait… Not Ben. Mathieu. 

A few minutes later, Axios returned with a bleary-eyed Neville in tow. The ghosts parted, allowing them to get closer. Neville swore at the sight of the blood and the sizable rosy scar that had formed. 

“We need to get him back to the hospital wing. He lost a lot of blood.” My words came out barely above a whisper, but Neville and Mathieu levitated him together, starting a slow ascent to the hospital wing. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting my chin drop to my chest. I tried to stand, but my legs cramped from kneeling on the cold, hard floor for so long before Mathieu’s charms. A set of thick, strong arms twisted around me, pulling me upright. 

I allowed Axios to support me, my head resting against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. His warmth bled into me, and I started shaking uncontrollably, but tried to take a step towards the staircase. “Livvy,” he pleaded softly. “Hannah is with the girl. Neville and Dumont have the boy. Let me take care of you, love.” 

I looked up into his dark eyes, wide and comforting, and nodded. He scooped me up, and murmured something to the Fat Friar. He swept away, and the other ghosts closed ranks around the two of us. Instead of going up, Axios carried me down a flight of stairs, and into the warmth of the kitchens, the ghosts dispersing. There, the Fat Friar was directing a few of the house elves, including Lolly. They produced a chair next to the blazing fireplace, a thick blanket of blue and bronze, and a bottle of firewhiskey. Instead of placing me in the chair, Axios sat down, keeping me on his lap and wrapping the blanket around me. It was a long time before my shoulders stopped shaking and the silent tears quit running down my face. 

Axios didn’t say a word. He just held me tightly against him, staring into the fire. Occasionally he would take a sip of firewhiskey, and I could almost feel the heat rush through his body with each drink.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. He just shook his head. 

“You saved his life, even after having to breaking up my pissing match with the potions master.” He looked down at me, and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. “You’re a hell of a witch, Livvy. And we’re so lucky to have you.” He planted a kiss on my forehead, and I closed my eyes, leaning into it. I could smell the cinnamon and firewhiskey on him, and I allowed myself to enjoy the warmth of his body against mine for a moment longer. 

“I need to get back to the hospital wing,” I whispered against his chest. 

He loosened his hold slightly before asking, “Can you walk?

I nodded, and he stood before carefully setting me on my feet. He kept a protective arm around me as we left, and I let him steer me gently. We passed a couple house elves cleaning the spot on the floor in the entry hall, and we made our way up the stairs slowly. 

At the doors to the hospital wing, his arms slipped from my shoulders to the small of my back, and I pulled the heavy blanket closer around me. Neville and Mathieu had tucked Craig into a bed, and Brie was in a chair next to him, her torso sprawled over his legs. She looked to be fast asleep. Hannah, Neville, and Mathieu were waiting in my office, a pot of tea between them. 

Hannah’s eyes flicked to Axios’ arm around me, but I shook my head almost imperceptibly, and she busied herself pouring two fresh cups of tea. 

“There you are. We were getting worried,” Neville yawned. His shoulders were drooping almost as bad as his eyes. 

“Livvy needed a minute,” Axios explained shortly. 

“Livvy?” Mathieu’s eyebrows pulled together darkly. 

“It’s a long story,” I sighed. “But I did tell you I was going to hex you if you kept calling me that.” I gave Axios a sidelong glance. 

He shrugged, smiling. “Old habits die hard.” 

I shook my head. “We should all get to bed. We can write our reports in the morning.” Everyone nodded, and Neville and Hannah left first, followed by Mathieu and finally Axios when I insisted I was just going to close up and cast an alert spell in case either of them needed me in the night. He wrapped me in his arms again before leaving, and kissed my forehead gently. 

I closed my office door, and gently shook Brie awake. “Hop in bed dear, you’ll be miserable enough in the morning.” She didn’t argue, just climbed into the bed next to Craig and pulled the white hospital linens around her. I cast an alert charm, and pulled the blanket I still held around me. I noticed offhandedly that it smelled like cinnamon and firewhiskey, with the crispness of lemon on a sea breeze.

Instead of returning to my rooms like I’d promised, I took Brie’s vacated chair and watched the boy. His deep, even breathing was a good sign, but he was so pale. I’d give him a blood-replenishing potion tomorrow, but for now I let the anti-venom rid his body of any I had missed. 

I’d been sitting there for nearly an hour when the doors to the hospital wing creaked open. Mathieu held his wand aloft, the tip casting a soft glow around him. His eyes dropped immediately to me, and he whispered “nox,” extinguishing the soft light before coming closer, taking up sentry behind my chair. 

“Thank you for your help tonight,” I whispered softly. His tired eyes met mine, and for a moment I thought I saw something more in them. He blinked, and whatever I’d seen faded into gratitude and melancholy. 

“You do not have to thank me,” he said thickly. “He is alive because you were there for him.” He paused before adding quietly, “You did not have to make him apologise, either.”

My cheeks warmed, and I shrugged. “Just doing my job,” I whispered. “Even if it is less of a controlled environment than I’m used to. Why aren’t you in bed, though?” 

“I did not hear you come back. I wanted to be sure you were alright. It was difficult on you…” I shrugged again, and the quilt slipped from my shoulders. He lifted it back up, his steady hands pulling it gently around me. “You should go to bed. I can stay, if you do not want them to be left alone.” 

I swallowed hard, and shook my head before standing. “No, they’re alright. And we should both get back to our beds.” We moved towards the door together, and I look one last look at the sleeping students before shutting the door quietly behind me. In the hall, Mathieu re-lit his wand tip and we walked in silence to our chambers.

I stopped at his door as he unlocked it, trying to decide what else to say. I looked up at him, mere inches away. He turned to face me and reached up, brushing a strand of hair from my face. The same strand Axios had attempted to tame in the kitchens. His long, elegant fingers lingered on the side of my face before he whispered, “Bonne nuit, Vivienne.” 

I stumbled to my room, and was relieved to see the house elves had been in to restock the fire. It was pleasantly warm, and I laid the blanket across the foot of my bed. Only then did I noticed the dried blood on my hands and pajamas. My dressing gown was a mess, and I left it all in a pile for the house elves to take care of tomorrow. I contemplated a bath, but decided I was much too tired. So I cast a gentle cleaning spell, pulling on a tank top and a pair of running shorts before climbing back into bed. I pulled the blue and bronze quilt closer, falling asleep with Axios’ scent filling my nose.


	13. The Siblings

September 30, 2006

A gentle knock on my bedroom door the next morning woke me, and I groaned. My body felt stiff and sore, so I pointed my wand at the door instead of climbing out from beneath the covers. The door swung open, and Mathieu stood framed in the doorway to my sitting room with a covered tray in his hands. I sat up, blushing. 

“Sorry, I thought for sure you’d be Hannah or Marta.” I pulled the sheet up, remembering my bloody dressing gown in a heap on the floor. “Please come in,” I finished, thinking it would be too rude to slam the door in his face until I was dressed. 

“Hannah is in the hospital wing with Neville and Minerva. Marta was with a group of students going to the quidditch pitch, I believe.” He came in, using his foot to close the door behind him. When I made a move to get up, he stopped me and set the tray across my lap. “I told the headmistress you would be up after you had a decent breakfast, and were ready to do so,” he said firmly, and I sunk back into the pillows. 

He settled himself on the foot of my bed, his weight shifting me slightly. I watched as he uncovered the heavy tray and began pouring two cups of tea. Today he was wearing grey slacks, a light blue collared shirt, and a cream sweater. I wondered if his sweaters were as soft as they looked. 

He handed me the cup, and smiled when he caught my eyes lingering. His blue eyes danced as he winked and asked, “Like what you see?”

I blushed, and then blurted, “Do you ever wear robes?” 

The question didn’t even phase him. “No.” He took a sip of his tea and explained, “I have seen enough robes catch fire due to complacent or inattentive students.” He paused and said with a devious smile, “And I look better without them anyway.” 

My cheeks were on fire as I choked on my tea. He smirked and waited until I’d recovered before saying, “But honestly, I would really rather not be caught on fire.” 

“I think you have a fair point,” I laughed. Now that I thought on it, I’d heard of Professor Snape’s billowing black robes catching multiple times, though I’d never had the pleasure of seeing it happen personally. 

He lounged easily against the post, and looked me over. “Eat,” he urged. 

I took a fork at nibbled at a piece of fruit. This seemed to satisfy him because he cast his eyes around, taking in the details of my room. His eyes settled on the butter-yellow muggle dress hanging on the side of my armoire. He smiled faintly, and I wondered if he was thinking about my legs the night in the Three Broomsticks. 

The tea and fruit must have kick started my appetite, because I was suddenly starving, and a helping of eggs quickly disappeared followed by the pain au chocolat. When I was finished, Mathieu looked over the tray, and seemed to find it acceptably emptied, because he nodded, and moved it from my lap to the side table. 

“Thank you for breakfast,” I pulled my legs up so I was sitting cross-legged beneath the covers. He sat back down in the spot my legs had been, and slid his hand over mine, squeezing it gently. 

“It was the least I could do.” He was close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin, and smell the spiced chocolate scent that I’d come to associate with him. He tucked the ever wayward lock of hair behind my ear, and pressed a chaste kiss to my temple. His lips were soft and warm, and left me wanting more. Instead he murmured in my ear, “I will go, so you can get dressed. Minerva will be waiting.” 

My head was still spinning when the door clicked shut behind him. 

I pulled on a set of silvery grey robes and was relieved to see my hair actually didn’t look too bad, despite the night's events. I swiped on a fresh coat of lipstick, and slipped out into my sitting room. 

Mathieu was sprawled casually in an armchair, a small book in his hands. He looked up, and smiled. “You look better. Less pale.” My cheeks got hot, and he smiled wider, slipping the book into his pocket. “Even better. Ready?” 

We entered the hospital wing to Hannah was arguing with Brie that she had to stay put, and Minerva, Neville, and Axios in my office talking quietly. Axios looked over with a broad smile, but it faltered when he saw Mathieu’s arm extended around my back. 

My cheeks felt warm, so I turned my attention to the two students. Hannah looked relieved when I stepped in, and quickly went back to my office. Mathieu followed, and I looked Brie over. As she hadn’t been injured, I let her go back to her dormitory. She wasted no time in hurrying out. 

Craig was a different story; he was still unconscious, his face deathly pale. I checked his leg, and was grateful to see the scar had faded slightly. I decided to speak to Minerva before administering the blood-replenishing potion, as it would take quite some time.

I slipped into my office, and all eyes were on me. The heat that flared in my face spread down my neck and chest, and my stomach tightened. 

“Craig will need a blood-replenishing potion. As long as he responds well, he should make a full recovery. I expect he’ll be here for a while… But he was lucky.” 

“Mathieu and Axios both feel you acted admirably.” Minerva’s usually stern expression was softer this morning. “Thank you, Vivienne.” I nodded, and looked at my hands, twisting around my wand. 

Neville spoke up, “I’ll write to his parents to inform them this morning. Viv, will he be ready for visitors today?” 

I glanced back at the unnaturally still form. “I don’t know. It depends on how he reacts to the blood-replenishing potion.” Neville looked troubled at that. 

“A fresh potion is more likely to be more effective,” Mathieu shifted uneasily. “I can make you a fresh batch, if you would like.” 

Axios looked annoyed, and grumbled, “He’s right. It’s a good idea.” 

I nodded again, and Minerva nodded curtly. “Very well,” she said. “I will check in with you later, Vivienne. And Neville, if you would be so kind as to remind your house of the dangers of the Forbidden Forest, I would be so grateful.”

“Already done,” he grunted. “And if I catch any of them trying, they’ll have detention for the rest of the term.” 

Minerva, Neville, Hannah, and Mathieu left, Mathieu promising he’d be right back with the ingredients of the potion. That left Axios and I alone, and I dropped into my chair, yawning. Axios came to stand beside me, resting a heavy hand on my shoulder. 

“Are you ok, Livvy?” His voice was low and husky, the evident concern forcing a lump to rise in my throat. I just pressed my hand over his, and blinked away the tears that had sprung into my eyes. 

“Yeah I just…” I cleared my throat. “I thought I’d lost him.” I bowed my head and whispered, “I don’t know what I would have done if…” 

He turned, and cupped my face in both hands, tilting my face up to his. “No. No ‘what ifs,’ no ‘if only,” his dark eyes were rock steady on mine. “You saved his life, Livvy.” I gripped his wrist tightly, and let out a shuddering breath. We stayed like that for a moment, and when he started to lower his face to mine, eyes fluttering closed, the portrait behind us coughed warningly. 

I dropped my head down to look at my hands and Axios let go, stepping back right as Mathieu reappeared at the other end of the hospital wing. 

“I should go. Ravenclaw has the pitch this afternoon. I told them I’d help with quidditch practice but I have papers to grade first.” He looked reluctant to leave me with Mathieu, but I jerked my head towards the door. 

“Go. It’s fine. I’ll see you at dinner, unless you knock someone off their broom.” I smiled weakly, and he squeezed my hand before leaving the wing with a slight bounce in his step. 

Mathieu raised an eyebrow as he passed, but otherwise showed no acknowledgement. He joined me in my office, and took over my cauldron. We worked together in comfortable silence as I wrote my report and the chart notes, and Mathieu chopped, crushed, and ground ingredients, adding them to the simmering potion. 

When he finished, the potion looked like blood and smelled metallic. It unsettled many people, but it was invaluable potion for a healer. He looked up from the potion, his hair flopping into his eyes. It was charming, and it made me want to reach up and brush it back. His hair was such a pretty honey blonde, and the way it obscured his sparkling eyes made my stomach tighten pleasantly. I couldn’t help but get lost in his easy smile. 

“Are you ready to do the honors?” he held up a tall crystal bottle full of the red liquid. 

I lost my smile, nodding. I took the bottle, and silently begged my hands not to shake. At Craig’s bedside, I shook his shoulder gently. He moaned, and I shook him again. When he finally opened his eyes, they were glazed over and unfocused. Mathieu moved across from me, and together we gently lifted him into a sitting position. Mathieu folded his fingers around mine behind his back, nodding encouragingly. I lifted the bottle to the boy’s lips, and he drank deeply. It was a slow process, but after several tries, he had finished the bottle, and we laid him back down. This was a slower working potion, and I held my breath until I saw his skin starting to lose it’s deathly pallor. It would be several more hours before his body absorbed it fully, so we retreated to my office.

I looked at my hard-backed chair, and paused for a heartbeat. I turned to the work table, moving all the ingredients and cauldron to a shelf with a flick of my wand, and promptly transfigured the table into an overstuffed sofa. 

“I’m going to have to talk to Minerva about allowing me to put an extension charm in this office. I spend far too much time here for such a cramped space. I don’t know how Poppy did it for so long.” I settled into the soft cushions and sighed. “This is better, though.” I tucked my legs under myself and patted the seat next to me. 

The portrait cleared his throat, “You seem to attract more… Visitors,” he observed dryly. I shot him a withering look, and he shrugged, unperturbed. 

Mathieu laughed as he settled down on the cushion next to me, and stretched out his long, lean legs. He settled his arm over the back of the sofa, and this time I didn’t shy away. “Do you do that on purpose?” He asked suddenly.

I looked around, bewildered. “Do what?” 

“You make yourself as small as possible. You do it at meals and on sofas…” he had a wicked gleam in his eye when he continued, “In bed, as well.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if my entire being would have gone up in flames at that point. 

“I… I… You don’t know that!” I sputtered. His blue eyes glittered with amusement at my agitation. 

“That big bed and such a little… what is the word…” he looked exasperated. “Le cocon,” he offered in French. 

“Cocoon,” I translated, equally vexed. 

“Yes,” he flashed a grin, showing his perfect teeth. “Big bed and a little cocoon.”

“Your bed, eh?” The portrait chimed in, suddenly interested again. 

“He brought me breakfast! Don’t go getting any silly ideas now. Don’t you have somewhere to be anyway?” I scowled at the painting. He just huffed, a distasteful look on his face before sidling out of the frame. 

“May I get a silly idea now?” Mathieu had leaned forward, his lips a hair’s breadth away from my ear. His warm breath tickled my neck, and goosebumps erupted down my arms. I gasped at the sensation of the tip of his nose tracing down the outside of my ear. My breath caught and a shiver raced down my spine. 

“What…” I breathed, head spinning, “Are you doing?” 

He chuckled, low and irresistible. “Would you like me to tell you…” his lips brushed my earlobe, sending another shock down my spine. “Or show you?” He brought his arm around me, and dragged his fingers down my arm in lazy strokes. My thoughts were failing me as I turned my head and came nose to nose with him. 

His eyes were alight with a passion I hadn’t seen before, and the way he traced my parted lips with them had me in freefall. 

“Miss Beaulieu?” I crashed back to reality, and was out of his arms in a split second. “Miss Beaulieu?” The little voice called again from the other end of the hospital wing, and I rushed around the corner towards it. 

“Yes dear, I’m here.” The little Slytherin girl looked to be on the verge of tears. I remembered her from the sorting ceremony, her almond eyes filled with the same terror. She’d been the first Slytherin to be sorted. 

“I heard them saying my brother got hurt and I can’t find him. He was supposed to meet me for breakfast…” the girl’s lip quivered, but she held back the tears. 

“What’s your name dear?” I watched her shrink, eyes focused behind me. 

“Anna? Is everything alright?” Mathieu’s voice deepened with the question. 

“Professor Dumont, I can’t find Craig,” she cried, tears finally falling, and my stomach dropped. I turned and looked at Mathieu in horror. He looked grim, but managed to keep a calm expression. 

“Professor Dumont, will you go find Professor Sinistra, please?” I plastered a neutral look on my face before I turned back around. He strode past without comment, and I beckoned for Anna to come closer. I took her into my office and sat her on the sofa we’d vacated. 

“Anna,” I took both of her hands in mine. “Craig was hurt last night in the Forbidden Forest.” The eleven year old sat ram-rod straight, tears pouring down her face. “He hasn’t woken up just yet. I had to do a lot to heal him, and it was difficult on his body.” 

“Where is he?” The words were a whimper, barely audible. 

“He’s here.” I inclined my head towards the partitioned bed. “Your parents should be coming soon. Would you like to see him?” 

She nodded hesitantly. 

“Don’t worry Anna. He just… He’s sleeping.” I handed her several tissues, watching as she wiped her face roughly. 

“I’m ready.” Her voice was slightly stronger, a determined look in her eyes. She stopped halfway across the room and asked, “Can I hold your hand?” I reached out and she took it, her hand so small in mine. I paused at the curtains before pulling them back, and she nodded bravely. She should have been in Gryffindor with her brother, I thought. 

I pulled the curtains open, and the poor girl lost her brave front, dissolving into loud sobs and throwing herself over his still figure. 

I sat with her, much as I had with Halley and comforted her as much as I could with words before summoning a vial of Calming Draught. 

“Darling I need you to take this. You’re hyperventilating and it’s not good for you.” She shook her head, holding on tighter to her brothers body. “You don’t have to leave him. Just drink this. It will make you feel better, I promise.” She finally caved, and took a sip of the potion. “Drink it all, there you go.” She finished the blue liquid and her breathing quieted. I pulled her into my arms, marveling at just how light her body was. She tucked her head under my chin, and was soon asleep. 

I was still rocking her in my arms when Mathieu returned with Aurora in tow. 

“Oh no…” Aurora looked between the girls limp body and her brother lying unconscious beside me. “I didn’t realize…” She bit her lip, a look near anguish on her face. 

“I gave her a Calming Draught. She was inconsolable.” I looked down at her sadly. “She was so determined to be brave… But it shook her.” I looked back at Aurora. “Minerva should know. I believe their parents will be here this afternoon, and we don’t want them shocked when they find them both here. Are there any other siblings we missed?” 

Aurora shook her head. “They have a younger brother. He’s only 8.” She looked helplessly between the two students again. “I’ll go speak with Minerva.” 

She strode purposefully to the door, heading in the direction of the Headmistress’s office. 

Mathieu watched me carefully as I rocked the girl. His expression was tender, and not for the first or last time I wondered what he was thinking. Finally I stilled, looking down at the girl again. “Will you…” he stepped forward and lifted her from my arms before I could finish. I moved the next bed closer and peeled back the sheet. He laid Anna down carefully, and I tucked the linens around her. I closed the curtain around them both, and faced Mathieu. 

His eyes were unreadable, and I looked down quickly, folding my arms. “I need to finish my notes before their parents arrive. I’ll see you later.” It was unmistakably a dismissal, and he didn’t object. I didn’t hear his footsteps withdrawing until I was back in my office, and I exhaled sharply. 

“I like the pretty Greek better.”

I frowned at the painting on the wall. “And I thought you left.” 

The portrait snorted. “As if I was going to miss that steamy little encounter. Though your students do have the worst timing.” 

“I thought you liked Axios better!” I looked incredulously at him. 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy what’s put in front of me,” he sniggered. 

I just buried my burning face in my hands, wondering if I could hex a painting.


	14. The Parents

“Merlin’s beard. He actually listened for you to come to bed?” Marta had heard about Craig and had come up to get the full scoop over tea. 

I swallowed a mouthful of biscuit and told her, “THEN he wakes me up with breakfast in bed!” 

She burst out laughing. “And you let him in?!” 

“I thought it was going to be you or Hannah! Or maybe Minerva. I was still half asleep!” I said indignantly. 

“You could have shut the door in his face. But you didn’t, or else you wouldn’t be the color of my gran’s raspberry pie.” She laughed even harder. 

“You haven’t even heard the best part,” The portrait chimed in smugly. 

“Oh shut up, Bardolf.” I’d gotten bored halfway through the morning and struck up a conversation with him that wasn’t about my love life. Turns out he was a healer in the 13th century named Bardolf Tibauld, and he was a fountain of interesting facts, but had a particular fondness for castle gossip. He’d taken to spending more time in his own frame since seeing the near-explosive rivalry between the two men.

“You’re going to tell her anyway. You might as well get on with it.” He sounded bored. 

“Do tell,” Marta’s eyebrows were halfway to her hairline. 

“We… I mean he…” I grimaced. “ALMOST kissed me.” 

Marta grinned. “Damn, the two most eligible bachelors in the place are about to wage all out war over you.” 

“I like the pretty Greek one,” Bardolf informed her. 

“Ohh… I don’t know. The French shouldn’t be underestimated.” She was entirely too delighted that both Axios and Mathieu had quite literally gotten their hands on me in the past twelve hours. 

“Marta!” I groaned. 

“What? I told you, a good shag is just what you need. And they’re both all too willing,” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “Hell, if you asked I bet they’d both join in.”

“Marta!” My face was on fire, and Bardolf was howling in his frame. 

“You are so English. Lighten up a bit. Let your French side out to play,” she cackled. 

I shook my head, taking a sip from my teacup. 

“When was the last time you had it off with someone, anyway?”

I looked pointedly out the window and she gasped. “You’re not saying you’re a virgin!” 

My face betrayed me again, flushing red. “I am not. It’s just been awhile...” I trailed off. “Remind me to tell you what a train wreck my last relationship was and you’ll see how bad of an idea that is.”

Marta was quiet for a moment. “We really need to get you in bed with one of them. You’ll feel loads better.” I could hear the cheeky smile in her voice. 

I threw a half eaten biscuit at her and she grinned. “Don’t you dare start meddling,” I warned. 

“Oh I won’t. Watching the show is way better than being the puppeteer.” 

I rolled my eyes and watched as a couple approached the front doors. 

“Oh bloody hell. They’re here.” I waved my wand to clean my office quickly, and checked my hair and makeup. After a moment of deliberation I took a lavender vial from my desk and swallowed the contents. 

“What was that?” Marta looked concerned. 

“Oh it’s so she won’t look like a tomato with her men start making eyes at her in front of the parents,” Bardolf told her matter-of-factly. Marta’s mouth formed an “oh” and she stood. 

“As much as I’d love to see it happening in real time, I’m no good with the panicking parents. I’ll come back for updates later.” 

“Bring food,” I called after her, casting one last look around the office. 

I checked on the students for good measure before their parents arrived. Anna was still sleeping, but she was due to wake up soon. Craig’s coloring was still improving, and he didn’t feel so cold to the touch. I was satisfied, and pulled the curtains back around them. I ducked into the storage room, hoping there was something that needed to be done. 

No such luck, and I found myself back at the window. I could see the turrets of the quidditch pitch, wondering if Axios would be present. My question was answered when he, Aurora and Neville joined me in my office. 

“Minerva wanted all who were involved present,” Neville explained. “Matt should…. Ah. There he is.” 

Mathieu strolled in, and took up his place beside Neville. “I could hear Minerva behind me. They’ll be here any second.” 

We all turned towards the door, waiting apprehensively. I realized belatedly that we were arranged in a“V”, and I was front and center. But it was too late to move back when Minerva strode in, the drawn faces of the parents behind her. She stopped, and looked relieved that we were already there. 

“Mr and Mrs Ames, allow me to introduce to you. Professor Axios Fairview, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Aurora Sinistra, Astronomy and Anna’s Head of House, Miss Vivienne Beaulieu, Healer and Hogwarts Matron, Professor Neville Longbottom and Craig’s Head of House, and finally Professor Mathieu Dumont, Potions Master.” 

We each nodded respectfully as we were introduced, and the Ames’ listened carefully. 

“Vivienne, would you care to take them to the children?” Minerva prompted. 

I nodded, and motioned to the closed curtains. “Craig was bitten by an acromantula. I was able to remove the venom, and heal the wound to his leg. He lost a lot of blood, but is responding as expected to the blood-replenishing potion Professor Dumont and I prepared. He is still unconscious, but I expect he’ll recover fully. Anna was distraught at the news of Craig’s injuries, and was given a Calming Draught. She’s been sleeping, but she should be waking soon.” 

I looked in the scared faces and gave them a reassuring smile before opening the curtains. “They’re both going to be fine.”

Mrs Ames wore the same determined expression her daughter had earlier, and her husband had his arm around her, looking pale but resolute. Mrs Ames dropped to her knees between the beds, reaching for both of her children’s hands. Anna stirred, and blinked open bleary eyes. 

“Mummy? Daddy?” Her voice wavered, and I closed the curtain behind Mr Ames, and cast a silencing charm to give them privacy. 

I returned to the other members of the staff, and allowed my shoulders to droop. “I could go another few years without doing that again,” I said in a low voice. 

Neville rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, and Aurora bit her lip. Minerva just sighed, and waved us into my office. We barely all fit, and she huffed. “I don’t know why Poppy never let me put an extension charm in here. It’s rather cramped.” 

Mathieu laughed. “Vivienne was just complaining about that this morning.” Axios shot him a scathing look, but nobody seemed to notice. 

“Well then let’s fix it now, should we? Vivienne you take this side, and I’ll take the far side. On three.” She counted us up and we simultaneous cast the spell. Suddenly, my office was three times the size with plenty of space for a comfortable sitting area and a work table. Minerva wasted no time in conjuring two armchairs and a larger sofa to accommodate us all. 

“Much better,” Aurora looked around appreciatively. She took a chair, and Neville flung himself across the smaller sofa with his arm over his eyes. Minerva took the other chair, and my stomach twisted when I realized that left the other sofa for me, Axios, and Mathieu. I contemplated sitting on the end, but decided I didn’t want to have to explain to Minerva why her potions and defense teachers were attempting to murder each other. I sat in the middle, flanked by the two men who were shooting daggers at each other over my head. 

Mathieu managed to get his arm across the back of the sofa first, and I tried not to cringe away from either of them. The others seemed completely oblivious to my plight, and I was glad for the forethought to take the potion. 

“Viv do you have anything for a headache?” Neville groaned from the sofa. 

I jumped at the chance to get out from between the two wizards. “Of course. Come with me.” I practically dragged him into the store room. I shut the door behind him and whispered, “I need your help.

He glanced around the small space. “Ok but can I have the headache remedy first?” 

I sighed, shoving a small bottle at him. “Drink it all and then listen carefully.” 

~~~

We emerged a few minutes later, Neville smirking slightly, but my cheeks were blissfully blush-free. 

Mr Ames chose that moment to poke his head out. “Miss Beaulieu?”

“Vivienne, please.” I moved closer, speaking in a hushed voice. 

“Vivienne, then. Do you know when he’ll wake up?” His eyes were pleading for an answer I couldn’t give him. 

“I'm sorry Mr Ames. Only time will tell. But he’s responding. He looks so much better than he did.” I was trying to be reassuring, but it seemed as if it fell short. 

He just turned back around with a crestfallen air, disappearing behind the curtain. 

The next hour was spent mostly in silence, besides the small sounds that came with a group such as ourselves; tinkling teacups, chairs shifting, sighs, and the occasional sharp crack from the fireplace. 

Bardolf was snoozing against his frame, and Minerva and Aurora made quite the pair of straight-laced ladies, their posture perfect and their teacups resting on their laps. Neville had taken his place back on the smaller sofa, upright this time. Axios and Mathieu sat with an empty place between them, glaring every so often. I sat back at my desk, where I could see the partitioned section and finish my notes. 

We were all waiting on eggshells I realized, when the fire shifted and we all almost snapped our necks looking at it. “For Merlin’s sake.” I slammed my quill down. ”This child will be fine, and we’re all being ridiculous.” I looked around. “There is no reason for us all to sit here acting like he’s at death's door. All of you, out.”

Minerva raised an eyebrow, but then said, “You heard the woman. Out.” Aurora was the first one out the door, followed by Mathieu. Neville was next, after he drained his teacup. Minerva paused to tell me, “bring them back to my office when they’re finished, we can work out the details of them visiting then,” before sweeping out of my office. 

That left just Axios and me. “Hey Livvy, I was wondering if you wanted to get away for a couple of hours tomorrow and get a drink in Hogsmead with me? Just at the Broomsticks. I know being cooped up in the castle can be hard when you come back.” 

“I’d love to, but I’m going to my mum’s for Sunday dinner. Maybe afterwards, and we can come back up together?” 

Axios beamed. “Say ‘round 7?” 

“Sounds good.” I watched as he left the ward. 

“You know this is a date, right?” Bardolf sounded gleeful. 

“You know there’s nothing stopping me from taking you down, right?” Bardolf just smiled, shuffling out of frame. 

A few hours later, the Ames’ had finally gone, Anna with them before returning to her dormitory, and it was blissfully quiet. Until Hannah and Marta came crashing back in with a plate of sandwiches and mischievous smiles. 

“Ohhh I like the office. Much better. And Bardolf saw us on the way up. You’ve got a date?!” Marta was grinning ear to ear. 

“If he said that where students could hear, I’m gonna—” 

“He just said, “she’s got a date,” and I’m pretty sure the kid behind us was too busy trying and failing to hide the fanged frisbee from us to hear.” Hannah tossed the toothy toy, allowing it to zoom around my office.

“Ugh.” I sunk into a chair, taking a sandwich. “It’s just a drink after dinner tomorrow. Not an actual date.” 

“But with which one? The Foreign Frenchman?” Marta giggled. 

“Or the Greek God?” Hannah finished. 

“Foreign Frenchman is redundant, and Axios isn’t a god,” I huffed. 

“Aw give us a break. We had all of a three minute warning to come up with that.” Hannah took a sandwich and flopped across the sofa, much as her fiancé had earlier in the day. “So which is it?

“I’m of half a mind not to tell you, and make you figure it out yourselves.” I pouted. 

“It’s the sexy shorty!” Bardolf chimed in as he entered his frame, slightly out of breath.

“That explains why he was practically skipping down by the kitchens,” Marta nibbled on the corner of a sandwich. “I thought he’d gotten hit by a rogue Cheering Charm.” 

Hannah snorted. “Better than what will happen when Matt finds out. I didn’t know he had a temper, but when it comes to you…” She shrugged a shoulder at me. 

I shook my head. “It’s not a date. Axios is an old friend. That’s it.” I checked the door before going on. “They pop up at the worst times, I swear. But I may have asked Neville for his help on keeping them both apart until they chill out. I was afraid they were going to murder each other in front of Minerva and those parents this morning.”

Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Well that explains why he spent all of his free period rearranging the corridor duty rota. Oh, that reminds me. Marta you’re on with me tomorrow night now. I think Matt is too, now that I think of it…” 

Marta snickered. “Who’s gonna keep him busy while Axios is trying to get handsy on the way up?” 

“I will definitely take that one. Sounds like fun!” 

“What sounds like fun?” The three of us jumped, at least two half-eaten sandwiches went flying. 

I glared at Bardolf, who smiled benignly. Mathieu looked around, waiting for an answer, a covered tray in his hands. 

“We’re going to go flying tomorrow morning,” Marta said brightly. “Would you like to come?” 

“Ah. I am not much of a flier. Brooms and I have never gotten along. And it looks like you ladies beat me to it.” He lifted the tray. 

“That’s alright. Pull up a chair and join us!” Hannah smiled, patting the arm of the chair between us. 

“I suppose I can stay for a few minutes,” he smiled and added the tray to the table. “What made you ladies want to go flying?”

“It was Marta’s idea. I haven’t been on a broom since my third year here,” I shot her a glare. She suddenly became very interested in her cucumber sandwich. “Brooms and I don’t get along either.”

“But we all wanted to get out before it gets any colder, and it’s a great way to spend a Sunday morning. Most of the students will still be asleep anyway.” Hannah sat up, summoning the teapot. She busied herself with it, and poured cups for all of us. We chatted for a while longer before Mathieu excused himself to attend to a potion. 

When he’d gone, Marta looked around. “You weren’t kidding about the bad timing.” 

“It doesn’t help when my guard dog only does his job when it suits him,” I grumbled, glowering at the snoozing portrait. Bardolf let out an extra loud snore in response. 

Hannah looked up from her teacup. “We don’t ACTUALLY have to go flying, do we?” 

Marta giggled. “I think we will. Just to be safe.” 

I groaned, sinking back in my chair. “Just what we need. The healer falling off a broom.” 

“Oh it won’t be that bad! It’ll be fun! Maybe I can rope Axios into coming,” she said, taking a sip of tea. 

I just sighed, shaking my head. 

~~~

The next morning was bright but cold, and I opted for pair of muggle jeans and layers of sweaters rather than my robes. I stopped by the hospital wing to see that Craig was still out cold, and headed down to meet the other two in the entry hall. 

Marta was bright-eyed and chatty, and Hannah was staring daggers at her all the way to the quidditch pitch. In the locker rooms, Marta passed us both brooms and was reaching for a quaffle when Hannah and I both threatened her life if she thought she was going to make us try to catch a ball on top of flying. She rolled her eyes but left the maroon ball where it was. 

We stepped onto the pitch and kicked off, and I immediately remembered why I hadn’t touched a broom since my third year. What others described as exhilarating, I found terrifying. Hannah and I stuck close together, and Marta flew circles and loopty-loops around us. Eventually Hannah and I gained a bit of confidence, and we started racing each other up and down the field.

An hour or so later, we stored the brooms and we made the hike back up to the castle. We said goodbye in the entry hall, and I retreated to my office for some tea. My hands were frozen and my cheeks and ears were pink from cold, and I wasn’t surprised when Mathieu turned up as I was pouring tea with numb fingers. He really did have terrible timing. 

“Have a nice time?” He smirked at my difficulties, and cast a warming charm over me. 

I sighed with relief. “Thanks. And we did have fun actually. I didn’t fall off, so I’ll count it as a win.” 

I was about to take my first sip when there was a loud crashing sound from the ward. I shot to my feet and was through the door in seconds, Mathieu on my heels. 

I was relieved to see that the sound was caused by Craig waking and knocking the flower pot from his bedside table. I had never been so happy to see a broken flower pot, and Mathieu and I shared a triumphant smile over the shattered pieces. 


	15. The Escape

Later that evening, I donned my traveling cloak and stole out of the castle through the greenhouses. I apparated as soon as I passed the castle gates, landing in the back garden. I slipped in the house, and said hello to a very excited Dixie. 

“Mum, I’m home!” I lifted the lid from a pot on the stove. Sunday pot roast. Mum’s pot roast couldn’t be touched even by the Hogwarts kitchens, and I was looking forward to an evening just with her. 

As it turns out, dinner with Mum was exactly what I needed. We laughed over the students’ daily predicaments, and I told her all about Marta and Hannah, Mathieu and Axios, and even Bardolf. By the end of the evening, I’d promised to bring Marta ‘round for Sunday dinner, and Hannah, if she could get away from the Broomsticks. 

We were finishing our coffee after dinner when she stood suddenly from her chair. “I almost forgot. These have been coming in the mail for you. Once a week or so.” She handed me a stack of letters and my stomach dropped unpleasantly. 

“You can send them all back. I won’t talk to him.” The messy handwriting across the envelope alone made my stomach turn, and I could only imagine what was in them. I pushed them back at her, not wanting to even look at them. 

“Alright. I’ll have them sent with the post tomorrow.”

“Thanks Mum.” I bit my cheek and then asked, “Did I really do the right thing?”

She regarded me across the table, her brown eyes thoughtful. “Would you have been able to live with yourself if you had acted differently? Or if eventually someone he hurt was someone you loved?” 

I shook my head, shoulders drooping. 

“Then I think you know the answer dear.” She reached over to hold my hand, and smiled. “Your father would be proud of you, Vivienne. He always said you’d change the world.”

I looked up at her, tears filling my eyes. “I’m not changing the world. I ran from my problems. He never would have done that.”

“You got out of a bad situation. That’s not running. That is self-preservation. And if saving someone’s life— many people's lives even— is not changing the world… What is?”

~~~

I left a while later with my heart and mind simultaneously lighter and a bit more sad. But I apparated to the Broomsticks and was relieved to see Axios already at a table, a glass of firewhiskey in hand. I shed my heavy cloak and slid in next to him. 

“Have a good visit with your mum?” His black eyes sparkled invitingly as I talked, and before long, my face hurt from smiling so much. Despite the man across from me, I felt the uncomfortable prickle of someone’s unwelcome eyes on me. When Axios got up to get fresh drinks from the bar, I cast my eyes around. There was one man alone at the bar that looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was relieved when Axios returned to the table, and the feeling of being watched didn’t return.

He had me doubled over as he recounted the vampires he’d encountered in Italy with the Aurors, and his grandmother’s futile attempts to set him up with “a nice Greek girl” while visiting. Apparently she’d thrown every eligible witch in the city at him, and he spent the majority of the time with one of his uncles hiding out in various pubs to escape. 

“I honestly think she’s still angry at mum for marrying an Englishman, and she’s hoping I’ll see the light,” he laughed. 

“Did she miss the part that as you were born and raised here, you’re English too?” I finally stopped laughing long enough to take a drink of my wine. 

He shrugged, grinning. “I dunno. But if I’m not married the next time I see her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she held me hostage til I agreed to marry someone.” 

“Remind me to kiss my gran next time I see her for not trying to marry me off,” I laughed. “I’ve got enough problems without adding dating to the list.”

Axios sobered for a moment. “What happened to that American bloke you were seeing?”

“It didn’t work out,” I replied airily. He nodded, seeming to sense he wouldn’t get any more out of me, and took another drink. 

“I’ve really missed you, love.” He looked at me affectionately. “I’m glad you’re back.” 

I smiled back warmly, and rested my hand over his on the table. “I am too.”

~~~

An hour later, we were walking back up towards the castle, my arm looped through his. I was pleasantly light headed from the alcohol, but Axios was as steady as ever. 

“It’s amazing, the magic of this place,” I breathed, my eyes locked on the glittering lights of the castle. 

“Beautiful.”

When I looked at him, his eyes weren’t on the castle. They were on me. I blushed, but stepped a little closer. In my slightly inebriated state, I thought it might be nice to be with someone like Axios. No… Not just like Axios. Be with Axios. He was one of a kind. 

My thoughts were interrupted when I tripped over a paving stone, and only stayed upright because of Axios’ hold on my arm. I’d ended up with his arms supporting almost all of my weight while I’d laughed hysterically into his chest. He’d laughed himself, but managed to keep us both upright; a feat I’m sure wasn’t easy. 

We were still laughing when we made it through the heavy double doors into the castle. We almost ran into Aurora, who was emerging from the dungeons with a tray, probably returning to her office from the kitchens. 

She smiled at our giggles, and shook her head. “You two will never change.” She made it up the stairs considerably faster than we did, and before long we were alone again. The students were all confined to their common rooms til morning, so the halls were quiet besides our laughs and the portraits complaining about our noisy ascent. 

He walked me to my chambers, despite my protests that I could make it up two flights of stairs alone. He insisted, and when we reached my door, he wrapped his arms around my tightly. 

“I am so glad you’re here, love. Thanks for coming tonight.”

I kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “Thanks for still being you, and helping me escape for a bit.” And with my lips still a hairsbreadth from Axios’ ear, I saw Mathieu at the end of the hall, expression unreadable. I let go, wishing him goodnight as I shut the door behind me. 

With the door closed, I swore quietly, wondering how in the hell I’d been able to forget about Mathieu. 


	16. The Accident

October, 2006

After Craig had fully recovered, my relationship with Mathieu got easier, despite his eyes on me every time I got too close to Axios in his line of vision. Actually, his eyes seemed to be on me whenever I was in his line of vision regardless. Despite the attention, we got along much better, and I supposed I shouldn’t be upset about it. I guessed saving a couple of lives together would do that for anyone, but it was helpful to not want to sink into the floor every time I saw the Potions Master, which seemed to be more and more frequently. 

When his lessons on Draught of Peace came up, I spent an hour or so sharing my experiences with the potion, and how useful it’s application was in different areas of medi-magic. He’d later go on to tell me excitedly that it was the best that his classes had done on a potion, and I happily accepted when he asked if I’d be willing to talk to any other classes brewing a healing potion. 

At a staff meeting, he’d taken an empty seat to my left. Axios had filled the spot to my right and had kept his arm thrown casually across the back of my chair. Mathieu hadn’t said a word, and continued to talk to me as if Axios wasn’t there. It was progress. 

The next weeks after that, we had a good working relationship, and he’d drop in for tea occasionally; I asked him to brew me a back of the Draught of Living Death as mine was about to expire, and it was a devastatingly tricky potion to make. He’d done so gladly, and brought me a batch two days later. 

The Friday before Halloween, I was in the middle of a chart note for a student with a bad case of hippogriff hives when I was interrupted. 

“Miss Beaulieu! Miss Beaulieu!” The Hufflepuff girl was screaming, tearing into the hospital wing. 

“What is it dear?” I looked her over but didn’t see any obvious cause for alarm. 

“It’s Professor Dumont! A Gryffindor spilled a potion and he it got on him and he’s hurt but he kept it from getting on Abby and he’s not talking—”

I swore, and ran past the girl, who was still talking. I reached the potions classroom to and was greeted with absolute chaos. A knot of students surrounded a figure on the floor, and there were several Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors were in the middle of shouting matches. Most of the potions were sitting forgotten, and going bad. 

“KNOCK IT OFF,” I bellowed from the doorway. The students quieted and turned to face me. “All of you. Vanish your potions and go to the classroom next door. Now!” 

Most of them did as they were told, except one Gryffindor with a red face and wide eyes, staring at Professor Dumont’s prone frame. 

“Was it your potion?” The boy looked like he was going to be sick, the blood draining from his face and his hands shaking. He nodded slowly. “What was it?” I had to resist the urge to physically shake him from his silence as he pointed to the blackboard. In Mathieu’s neat handwriting, was written Tranquility Tonic. I shook my head and motioned to the door. “Out with the rest of them.”

The boy scurried off and I knelt carefully beside him. His shirt and jumper had come untucked, the fabric soaked with a foul smelling liquid and I could see angry red burns and pus-filled boils forming on his skin. I lifted the layers of clothing higher, carefully assessing the damage done. The burns went halfway up his chest, and based on what I could see from the wet stains on his slacks, down his thighs almost to his knees. He must’ve been caught off guard because there was no trace of any burns or effects of the potion on his hands. His breathing was slow and ragged, unconscious due to shock, most likely. 

I swore again. It would be difficult to safely separate the fabric from his ruined skin, especially in such a sensitive area. I used my wand to painstakingly trim the shirt away from the burns on his chest, and reached for the vial of dittany that I’d taken to carrying with me. I covered the disintegrating skin with a thin layer, drop by drop. It hissed and popped, but the boils began to reduce, and it kept the burns from splitting open. I’d need a salve from my office for the burns, but that could wait a few moments. 

My hands hesitated over his pants for a split second before I started to pull them away as well. This was my job and I wasn’t going to leave him in distress because I was embarrassed to see him vulnerable. I sucked in a breath. The pus-filled boils were worse here, turning a sickly green-tinged brown color. His heavy length rest against his stomach, the sensitive skin ruined. The blond hair there had been trimmed short, and there wasn’t as much as I would have expected. 

The door crashed open, and Neville charged in. He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight, paling. “Merlin’s bloody beard.” His eyes flicked to the board and he read the ingredients to himself.

I continued dropping dittany over his wounds, my stomach turning. 

“Shrake spines or Mimbulus Mimbletonia roots could be causing the boils, but it depends on when they were added,” Neville murmured, the tips of his ears pink and trying hard to avert his eyes from the exposed man before him. 

“I know, but the kid who made the potion is too emotional to talk.” I kept watching the liquid fall into the worst of his wounds. “I’m inclined to blame the shrake spines. The boils don’t show the classic spots of Mimbulus Mimbletonia contact. I need to get him back to the hospital wing but we need more hands. And someone needs to take care of his class.” The dittany had done all it could, and I looked around nervously. 

“I told them all to stay put or it’s 100 points from their house. I think the two of us can…” his face twisted into a grimace. 

“Very well.” I hated moving patients by magic, though that was my Muggle upbringing speaking; my father always used to say human touch healed more than the body after severe injuries, and I agreed whole-heartedly. I also knew that in some cases it could not be helped. I conjured a sheet and kept it over his exposed skin with a hover charm. It was a two-fold decision, both to keep him dignified and to keep his wounds covered to help prevent further complications. 

Neville and I raised our wands and gently lifted him into the air, keeping him level and supported. I kept one hand under his head, fingers threaded through the golden waves as we shuffled down the hallway. Not for the first time, I was glad for the new proximity from the hospital wing to the potions classroom. There were a few students out and about that Neville dispelled with a growl, but I was relieved to find the hospital wing deserted. 

I indicated the bed closest to my office door, and Neville complied readily. When he was settled, I drew the curtain and vanished the sheet. The burns were an alarming shade of reddish-purple that reminded me of a wine stain, and the boils were pulsating slightly. It made me grateful he was still unconscious and hopefully wouldn’t remember the worst of it. 

I retrieved the antidote for shrake spines, a salve for burns, a potion for pain if he woke up, and another general healing potion for good measure. When I returned to the bedside, Neville was looking a little pale, and I sent him to deal with the potions class. 

I started where the burns and boils were worst at his hips, working down his thighs and then back up his chest. The inside of my cheek would be raw from where I gnawed at it anxiously, but it was nothing compared to what I knew Mathieu would be in for over the next few days. I worked methodically, inch by inch over his muscular legs and flat stomach. 

His stomach was almost done when there was a groan and a gasp. His eyes never opened, but hands reached for his groin. I caught them easily in mine. His eyes squeezed shut and his lips twisted in a grimace of pain.

“Shhh. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” He gasped again, and whimpered. “Here. Take this. I shifted his hands so they were both grasping my non-wand hand, and tapped the vial with my wand, spelling it open. I pressed it to his lips, but he shook his head. I pulled it away, and explained slowly, “Your body has been through a trauma. If you’re in pain, it will take longer to heal. Please let me help you, Mathieu.” 

His eyes opened, the blue irises unfocused and glazed over from the pain. “Sophie?” He breathed, gasping again at the pain, but he tried to push my hands away. 

I held tightly. “Mathieu. It’s Vivienne. You’ve been hurt. Let me help you.”

“Vivienne…” My name died on his lips, but he relaxed, instead pulling my hands closer. 

“I need you to take the pain potion. Can you do that?” He nodded, grimacing as it caused another wave of agony. I pressed the vial to his lips, and this time he accepted it, letting the indigo liquid into his mouth. The effects were almost immediate. His hands relaxed around mine, and he stopped gasping for breath. His eyes were still unfocused and glazed, but as he relaxed, he allowed his lids to flutter closed. 

I waited until his breathing was even before I rested his hands back at his sides. I quickly finished applying the antidote and salve, and hovered another sheet over him, this time casting a shield charm in case he woke up and reached for his wrecked body. I retrieved his chart from the staff files, and looked at the clock nervously. The pain potion I’d given him was strong, but the effects were short lived. I thought about using a sting-softening solution topically, but decided to forego it as there was the possibility it would hinder the antidote for the boils.

Like clockwork, an hour to the minute after I’d administered the potion, he moaned. I shot to his side, another vial of pain potion ready. As before, when I pressed the crystal to his lips, he refused; but this time he opened his eyes and they were a little more focused. 

He swore in French before switching back to English. “Bloody hell that hurts,” he wheezed.

“Then take the potion,” I encouraged him gently. 

“Wait. La fille… The girl. My wand...” His voice was low and raspy, and he switched back and forth between French and English. 

I poured him a glass of water and offered him a straw. “I don’t want you sitting up yet. But have some water.” I waited until he drank before answering. 

“Are you talking about Abby? The one you shielded?”

He nodded, anxiety radiating from him, his blue eyes begging for answers. 

“You got her out of the way. She’s fine. And your wand is right here.” I held it up, and he relaxed. “Will you please let me give you a pain potion now?” I was pleading with him. 

Mathieu finally nodded, tears clinging to his eyelashes. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of pain or relief or something else, but it didn’t matter. I pressed the vial to his lips and tipped it forward. He drank it without complaint, but brought his hand up and curled it around mine. I watched his body relax as the pain receded, and sighed in relief myself. 

Neville popped his head between the curtains, and eyed Mathieu’s hand still cradling mine. “Is he alright?” 

I gently laid his hand back to his side and stood up. “He will be. He’s going to feel like absolute hell for a few days, though.” 

“Somehow I feel like he won’t mind,” he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. “I’m glad,” he said louder. “Hannah’s on her way up to cover his duties for as long as necessary.” 

“Good.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” He set Matthieu’s wand on the table and turned to leave, but I stopped him. 

“Neville? Do you know who Sophie is?”

“Sophie?” His brows furrowed in confusion. “Sophie who?” 

I gestured at Mathieu’s sleeping figure. “He called me Sophie, before I could give him the pain potion.”

Neville just shrugged. “I have no idea.”


	17. The Bedside

Several hours later, I sat quietly by his bed, his chart in my lap. I’d tried to sit in my office to finish it, but couldn’t focus. Now, by his bed, the note was done and I held the next vial ready. My eyes fell to the wand on the table. 

Each witch and wizard’s wand was unique, like a fingerprint. Mathieu’s didn’t look like one I’d ever seen from Ollivander’s. But then, he wasn’t English; he would have used a French wandmaker. It was long and slender, much like the man that wielded it. The wand was a deep mahogany color, the carvings delicate and intricate but unmistakably masculine. It had been on the Mathieu’s desk, out of reach when the potion had been spilled. 

“I have always quite liked it.” 

My eyes flicked from the wand to its owner. His eyes were open and clear for the first time since I’d gotten him here. I smiled, relieved to see his eyes focused and lucid. “It’s lovely,” I said softly. 

“Will you allow me to sit up?” A smile played at the corner of his lips. I looked at him and frowned. 

“I can check, but don’t get your hopes up, and you need to take at least a mild pain potion before I do. ” 

He nodded grimly and I summoned a thick orange potion. He swallowed it dutifully, and only then did I reach for the sheet. He stiffened as I pulled it back, but didn’t stop me. The skin was still rather raw, but looked much better from what it had that morning; all of the boils had shrunk and all but disappeared. He hissed when I prodded at the tops of his thighs and juncture of his legs, but I chalked that up to my cold hands rather than his injuries. 

“You’re improving rather quickly but I would feel better if you’d let me reapply the burn salve before sitting you up.” I tucked the sheet carefully around him and he groaned. 

“If you insist,” he sighed resignedly. 

My surprise must’ve showed, because he turned his head lazily and said matter of factly, “You are the healer here. I will do what you say.” 

“I just expected more fight from you after the trouble I had getting you to take the pain potion. That’s all.” I retrieved the salve and reached for the sheet. 

“I was not in control of myself. I thought you were someone else.”

“Sophie.” He stiffened, and this time it wasn’t my cold hands on his delicate bits. I made no other comment, working quickly to give the junction of his thighs and torso the most time to allow the salve to work before allowing the skin to rub against itself while he sat up. 

“Yes,” he finally acknowledged. “Though she is far removed and now in the past.” 

I was gently applying the salve to the twin weights between his legs when he snorted. I raised my hands instinctively, not wanting to hurt him further. “Did that hurt? Where?” 

“No it actually felt nice. Not exactly how I would have gone about it given the choice, but…” he trailed off, the light, teasing tone of his voice making my heart leap, even after it pounded with a shot of adrenaline. 

I leaned over so he could see me glaring. “Very funny. Next time can you not make me think I hurt you?” 

He gave me a small smile and I went back to my work. Now that he was awake it felt less clinical and much more intimate. My hands were gentle but firm, and I could feel the solid muscles of his legs beneath the skin. When I was done with his legs, I moved up to his stomach, and I could see his face clearly as I worked, meaning he could see my near-fluorescent blush.

“How long will it take to heal completely?” I was working the salve over his lower abdomen and I paused to consider. 

“Because you were unconscious most of the day, the potions I used actually worked quite quickly. It will most likely be slower from here though. I would say two or three days, given how deep they were.”

“You are not going to allow me to teach?” 

I glared at him. “Over my dead body. You will not be anywhere but in this bed until I decide you are well again.”

His abdominal muscles ripples under my fingertips as he suppressed a laugh. “So… fiery.” 

“Would you like to have permanent nerve and skin damage? Because that’s what you’ll have if you don’t sit still. And you said you were going to listen to me.”

“I have not yet tried to say otherwise. Simply clarifying.”

I glared again, and worked my hands up and over his chest. The shallowest of the burns were fading, and it gave me hope that in two or three days, he’d show no signs of what had happened. I settled the sheet down, satisfied with the job I had done. I spelled the excess from my hands, and tucked my wand away.

“Are you ready to try to sit up?” When he nodded, I slipped an arm under his back to help him from straining the still-healing skin. I pulled him up carefully, and when he was upright, I adjusted the bed to support him and laid him back. 

His face was ashen and I was seriously considering laying him back down but he nodded. “That is better. Thank you.”

“Are you hungry, or thirsty?” I patted the sheet around him, and watched carefully for any signs that he was over exerting himself. 

“Yes, actually I am.” He seemed surprised. I just nodded, knowing he’d need the calories for his body to heal properly. 

“Good. Let me go get you some food. Don’t go getting any funny ideas while I’m away.” 

***

I’d summoned Lolly from the kitchens, and she was all too happy to oblige me. She sent soup and toast for Mathieu, and a plate of roast chicken and veg for me. I’d eaten with him instead of in my office when he’d threatened to follow me in. After he’d eaten, his color improved and I assisted him to the loo (he’d flat out refused the bedpan. I’d tried). I heard him hiss as he relieved himself, but he insisted he was fine. 

Once safely back in bed, looking no worse for wear, he challenged me to a game of wizard’s chess. 

“I don’t have a board.”

“I have one in my rooms.”

“I’m rubbish at chess.”

“Excellent. You could use the practice.” 

“What if I wanted to actually do something with my evening?”

“You would rather leave me here alone in my current state?”

The banter went back and forth until I caved. I huffed under my breath about him being an insufferable patient as I stomped off, and his laughter followed me down the corridor. 

I paused at the door of his rooms, feeling as if I was intruding, even though he’d asked me to come. I pushed my way in and stood inside, looking around. The door to his bedroom stood open. I quickly realized it was a mirror of my own chambers, the bathroom to the left instead of the right, the headboard against the right wall instead of the left. The hangings and upholstery were different, I realized. His were charcoal grey and an airy light blue reminiscent of the Beauxbatons uniforms I’d seen my second year. I wondered if all the staff quarters were upholstered according to preference. 

The chessboard was on the coffee table, but on impulse I took his dressing gown and his pillow from his bedroom as well. The pillow smelled like him, the cloud of mocha filling my nose and making my brain half-fuzzy, and I stood still in his bedroom longer than necessary. Unsurprisingly, they were neat and practical. The one thing that caught my eye was a wizarding photograph on his nightstand in a silver gilt frame. 

It looked to be about ten years old, if I had to guess. Mathieu was unmistakable, standing in the middle with his arms around a younger boy and an older girl. Mathieu’s hair was longer, allowed to curl around his collar. The younger boy had the same curly blond hair and carefree smile. His brother, maybe? The girl was more reserved, smiling and waving at the camera. When she turned a certain way I could see a resemblance to Mathieu around her eyes. 

The trio stood on a beach, the ocean sparkling behind them. They had the unburdened air of teenagers in the summer, with nothing in the world to worry about and everything waiting for them. I wondered if they were his siblings, on a family vacation or weekend away. 

I sat the frame down carefully where it had been, and slipped from the room, the items I’d taken in my arms. Mathieu much appreciated having a dressing gown and his own pillow, and after I transfigured the hard backed wooden chair next to his bed into an overstuffed armchair, we settled in for a game of chess. 

The conversation flowed easily, and I realized halfway through the second game that I hadn’t thought about Ben at all since that Hufflepuff had burst through the doors that morning. Even better was the realization that the ache I felt when I did think about him was almost nonexistent now. 

“What are you thinking about?” Mathieu interrupted my thoughts as his knight dragged my bishop from the board. 

“Not much.” I scanned the board, looking for a move that wouldn’t end in me losing an important piece within the next two moves. 

“You’re smiling.”

“Yes, I am. Is that alright?” I flicked my eyes up at him, and he held my gaze, curious but not presumptuous. I calmly ordered my piece to move, not breaking eye contact or losing my smile. 

He finally smiled himself and looked away, shaking his head. 

A few moves later he trapped my king and I surrendered. He stifled a yawn, and I glanced at the clock. 

“You need to get some rest.” I stood, taking the chess board with me, and setting it in my vacant chair. “May I check and see how your burns are?” 

He just lifted his hands from the sheet in response, and I peeled it back. The skin over his abdomen was healing, no longer a dark wine color but a bright red, almost like a sunburn. I moved down, and saw the fragile skin of his genitals wasn't faring as well as I’d hoped. His thighs, where the burns were the deepest, were also taking longer to heal. They hadn’t improved at all since I’d checked last. 

“I need to reapply the salve, and I might try a strengthening solution with it. I don’t think you want to be awake for it, though.” I let the sheet settle back over him, and caught the flash of fear in his eyes. 

“Is it that bad?” His voice was suddenly rougher than it had been, and he hands formed fists in the sheets. 

“You caught a cauldron full of boiling potion in your lap. It’s a miracle it’s not worse. It’s healing, but the damage to the tissue is deep. I don’t want to risk it. The salve is meant to soothe burns, but the strengthening solution added to it will sting like hell. With this large and sensitive of an area, I’d rather not put you through that while you’re awake.” I cupped his fist in both of my hands, and brushed my thumb over the back of his hand. “Let me give you a dose of Draught of Living Death. You won’t feel it, and it will help direct your body’s energy to heal the burns.” 

His hand that had started to relax at my touch clenched again at the mention of the dangerous potion. I kept my hands around his, and let him think it over. 

“I do not…” His voice cracked. He had to clear it twice before he could go on. “I do not know if I can do that.”

“I’ve done it many times before for burn victims. I don’t do it unless it’s necessary though, which is why I didn’t mention it until now.” I pressed my fingers between his own and his palm, and kept stroking with my thumb. “I will keep monitoring charms over you the entire time, and I promise not to leave your side. And I know the potion was made correctly because you brewed it.” 

“You will need someone else here. If something happens.” His voice shook, and he grasped my hand like a lifeline. 

I nodded. “Axios has a fair bit of medi-magic training, from his Auror days. If you say yes, I’ll have him here with me.” 

“It must be him?” Mathieu’s face plainly showed his reluctance. “What about Neville?”

I laughed. “Axios is a good guy. A bit… Overzealous maybe, but good. And he’s the one I would want here if it was me. Neville is fantastic, he was here earlier. But I thought he was going to pass out.” 

He took a deep, steadying breath, and nodded. “On one condition.”

I raised an eyebrow, but stayed quiet. “I will let you use that damnable potion with the damnable defense professor if you allow me to kiss you.” 

A million thoughts ran through my mind, and I finally settled on the one that would give me the results I was looking for. “Fine.” I stood, and slid my hands from his. “After you wake up.” 

He looked disgruntled that I managed to twist his condition back on him. “Consider it my promise that you will wake up. Now. I’m going to go get Axios, and we’ll crack on.” 

He still looked a little green as I pulled the curtains and marched from the wing. 


	18. The Help

I’d managed to steady my breathing by the time I got to Axios’ chambers on the fourth floor. I steeled myself, and knocked before I could lose the nerve. 

The door swung open almost immediately, and I glanced inside, but didn’t see him. 

“Axios?” I stepped into the room, and found it to be very familiar. The sitting room was cozy, with a fire crackling happily, and the door to his bedroom stood open. It registered that his rooms were decorated in the same colors as mine. Navy and silver hangings and upholstery, dark wood furniture. His were a little more messy and cluttered, with stacks of student assignments and various books and objects that he tracked back and forth between his rooms and office. 

“Yeah?” His head popped out from behind the bathroom door, his dark curls dripping. “Livvy! Come on in! I’m almost done.” His face broke into a wide grin, and he motioned me forward. I shut the door behind me, and sank into one of the armchairs. 

Axios reappeared a few minutes later. He had on a pair of athletic shorts, and a t-shirt that very clearly showed off his toned physique and broad chest. Evidently he kept up on the exercise regimen he’d started with the Aurors. His hair was still wet, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Come by just to chat or is there something on your mind?” Before I could answer, he was waving his hand. “Who am I kidding. What’s up, love?” 

My cheeks went pink. “What makes you think I don’t just want to chat?” 

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s me, Livvy. You’re chewing your cheek raw, and if you’re not careful you’re going to pull the stitching from your sleeve again.” 

I dropped my hand from my left sleeve where I picked at the hem. “Damn it. You’re just as bad as my mother.” 

He laughed. “Can I have a drink or do you need me sober?” 

“Definitely need you sober.” 

He sighed, settling into the cushions. “Ok. Fill me in.” 

I explained what had happened and my conclusion, and he sat quietly listening, face impassive. 

“Okay.” 

“You’re not going to fight me on this?” I’d prepared an argument fit for the Wizengamot on my way down. 

“The man saved a student and you need my help to make sure he doesn’t have any permanent damage. Why would I say no?” Axios’ dark eyes searched mine. 

“You seem to strongly dislike him.”

“Because I don’t like the way he treated you, love. You seem to be past it, but I’m not going to forget it. I’m also not going to be a git about it. I’ll help.” 

I slumped my shoulders, and nodded. “He did apologise, for what it’s worth.”

He just stood and disappeared into his bedroom. He reemerged pulling on a set of navy robes and charming his hair dry. 

“Come on. I don’t want to stare at his dick all night.” 

I rolled my eyes, and set off together. We ran into Marta doing her rounds on the fifth floor, and she promised she’d come up when she was done at midnight. 

In the hospital wing, we found Mathieu brooding behind his curtain. 

“Dumont.”

“Fairview.” 

I watched the men carefully, but neither of them looked as if they were going to attack the other, so I went back to the store room. I set up a tray with the Draught of Living Death, burn salve, Strengthening Solution, clean bandages, a mid-level strength pain potion, the revival elixir that reversed the Draught of Living Death, and a Dreamless Draught. Mathieu was glaring petulantly at the gap between the curtains and the floor, and Axios was very interested in the stonework of the wall behind him.

I set the try down with a solid thump, and Axios straightened, eyes on me. Mathieu shifted uncomfortably in the bed, wincing. 

“We’re going to place the monitoring charms first, and then give you the Draught of Living Death. I’m going to apply the salve with the Strengthening Solution while Axios monitors you, and when I’ve got the bandages on, we’ll bring you back up. You’ll feel pretty awful so I’m going to give you a moderate pain killer, and a Dreamless Draught because the pain potion can cause nightmares. Before you know it, you’ll be waking up in the morning and you’ll hopefully be feeling much better.” Mathieu nodded, looking remarkably calm. 

Axios lifted his wand and cast several monitoring charms. When he was done, he nodded, and leaned against the wall with the parchment the output was appearing on held firmly in front of him. 

I took Mathieu’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “When you’re ready.” I held the black potion within his reach, and waited. It was a matter of seconds before he took it, and swallowed it without hesitation. His head started to bob immediately. “Don’t fight it. Just relax.” I pressed the release on the bed, so it reclined gently until he was flat on his back again, his hand limp in mine. My stomach twisted. 

“Everything looks good. His heart rate got a little high, but it’s fine now.” Axios turned his attention to me. “You good?” 

“ Fine.” I placed Matheiu’s hand to the side, and pulled back the sheet. 

“Merlin’s beard!” Axios’ face paled at the sight of the burned flesh, but he stayed steady. “And he’s been conscious?!” 

“Since about seven. He ate, used the loo, and has been playing chess with me.” I took the salve and started to apply the first layer. 

“Bloody hell, the man’s got balls.” I cleared my throat pointedly. “Er… No pun intended. But that has to hurt like hell.” Axios’ hand drifted unconsciously to cover his own groin, and he shuffled uncomfortably. “He’s a hell of a lot tougher than I gave him credit for.”

I just nodded, and continued spreading the ointment in a thick layer. Once I had the entire area covered, I added the Strengthening Solution. It made the ointment bubble, and it started to absorb more quickly. The bubbling reaction is what would have made it sting if he had been awake, and it wouldn’t be over quickly. When I finished applying it, the ointment where I’d started was already completely taken into the skin, and I started the process over. I repeated it twice more, and then finished with another thick layer of ointment and began to apply the bandages over top. 

“His body temperature is coming down, and his heart rate is slowing. We don’t want him under much longer.” Axios watched me secure another bandage over Mathieu’s thigh. “Will it go quicker if I help?” 

I nodded, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes with the back of my forearm. “He’s heavier than he looks. If you can lift his leg so I can get the bandage around it…” Axios did as he was told, and I was able to make quick work of the rest. I tucked the sheet over the white gauze covering most of his middle, and took the reviving elixir and carefully poured it down his throat. 

It took him longer to wake up that it had to render him unconscious, but that was normal. He began to make sounds of discomfort as he came to, and I gave him the pain potion as quickly as I could after the reviving elixir. His cries quieted, and I took that as my cue to give him the Dreamless Draught as well. 

“Everything looks good,” Axios commented after a couple of minutes. “It looks like all of the Living Death is out of his system, and at this rate, he’ll need another dose of pain potion around…” 

He turned, looking for the clock.

“At seven tomorrow morning,” I finished for him. “I gave him an eight hour dose.” 

He nodded, and watched as I began to pile empty bottles on the tray. When I picked it up, he took it from my hands, and sent it back to the store room with a wave of his wand. 

“Your work here is done. He’s comfortable, so you’re going to bed, love. You look dead on your feet.”

I dimmed the lights and locked my office, and followed him down to my chambers. I pulled him in along with me, and pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey. He didn’t object, just dropped onto the sofa and accepted the glass gratefully. I poured a glass for myself, and sat down next to him after kicking my shoes off, with my back against the armrest and my knees pulled to my chest. 

“Today is Friday, right?” I yawned, the stress of the day crashing down on me now that it was all over. 

“For another 22 minutes.” Axios yawned back. He kicked his own shoes off and propped his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Cheers.” I drained my glass in one go, and Axios followed suit. “I swear this castle is cursed. It’s always Friday. Why can’t I have a Friday that I give like, a pepper-up and maybe a headache tonic and call it a day?” 

“What fun would that be?” Axios pulled the blue and bronze blanket from the armchair I’d been reading in the night before, and tossed it over our legs. I began to stretch out, and he pulled my ankles toward him until they were draped over his lap. He started to rub my calf, and before long, we were both asleep. 


	19. The Interruption

I jerked awake when someone knocked at my door, and my legs were thrown aside. Axios was on his feet, wand drawn. 

“Viv! Open up, it's freezing out here!” Marta knocked again.

Axios sighed, and opened the door. I’d forgotten she was going to come up, and it seemed so had he. 

“You…” Marta looked at Axios, his robes hanging open and his bare feet on the rug. “Aren’t Viv.” 

“Marta come in and shut the door. We were having a drink.” I pulled my legs back up onto the sofa, and yawned.

“Brilliant. I caught four Hufflepuffs out of their common room and I’m so done with them. I was of half a mind to lock them all in. Or out, as it were.” 

Axios dropped back into his seat, and pulled the blanket and my feet back over his lap. Marta took the armchair closest to me and the fire, and helped herself to the whiskey. 

“You can’t say you never left the Slytherin common room when we were here.” I stifled a yawn and wiggled closer to Axios, pulling the quilt to my chin. 

“I know you were there for that party where Rose Hollingsworth punched the Hufflepuff arsehole. Astoria and I still talk about that one.” Rose had been a transfer student from Ilvermorny, and she’d almost knocked out Justin Finch-Fletchley for getting handsy and insulting her boyfriend. 

“Well yeah... And we all did at one point or another. But it was usually the Ravenclaws that started it. Wait. Why didn’t I ever see you guys? Where did you go?” She looked between us. 

“Astronomy tower,” we chimed together. Axios caught my eye and grinned. 

“I suppose even that makes sense. I just kept finding them on the third floor over by the charms classrooms.” 

Axios shrugged. “Probably a party with the Gryffindors.” 

“Wait.” Marta polished off her drink. “You’re in charge of security, as defense professor, yeah?” Axios nodded, eyes narrowing. “Then why aren’t you more worried about it?” 

He rolled his eyes. “It’s my job to keep other people out and the students at least on the grounds. Even better if they’re in the castle. Honestly, I don’t really care as long as we don’t have any more acromantula bites this year.” 

She turned on me, and I just shrugged. “I mean, as long as they’re not cursing each other or getting injured, it’s whatever. We all know they’re going to do what they want, and we watched Harry Potter get into way more trouble than any of our students now are capable of.” 

Marta weighed my words and shrugged. “I suppose so. I’m not going to tell THEM that, though.” 

“Oh Merlin, no. Not in a million years!” Axios laughed, and I could feel it in my feet and legs. 

Marta poured another glass and sat back. “So what happened with Matt? Hannah said she was covering but didn’t know how long.” 

I sighed, and Axios patted my leg. “A student knocked a full boiling cauldron over and he caught it in his lap rather than let it get another student. He’s got some nasty burns, but he’s looking a hell of a lot better without the boils…”

Axios cringed. “He looked worse before? Merlin’s beard that poor man.” 

“And they were deep enough I had to apply the burn ointment with a Strengthening Solution so Axios had to come help me to make sure that the Draught of Living Death didn’t become the Draught of Actual Death.”

Marta winced. “You guys are either the dream team or someone’s cursed.” 

Axios chuckled. “Let’s go with the dream team.” He squeezed my leg under the thick blanket again, and I flashed him a smile. 

“Are you guys coming to the Quidditch game tomorrow?” Marta drained her glass again. 

I groaned. “Depends. Who’s playing?” 

“Slytherin and Gryffindor.” Axios laughed at my expression. “There may be bloodshed.” 

“In that case, I better stay put in the hospital wing and make sure I’ve got plenty of Skele-gro and blood replenishing potion on hand. I swear to Merlin himself that house rivalry is going to be the death of me… Or someone else,” I finished darkly. 

“I have to be there. I promised Minerva I’d help her entertain somebody important. She didn’t say who though, now that I think on it.” Axios shrugged. 

“Why you?” Marta didn’t sound inflammatory, just genuinely curious. 

He shrugged again, yawning. “She says go, I ask how far, not why.”

“And that’s why she likes you.” I laughed, and reveled in the feeling of his laughter reverberating through my legs. It had been a long time since I’d been this relaxed and close to cuddling a man. Especially one that treated me like Axios did. Certainly before Ben. And then my mind reverted back to Mathieu. I’d have to make good on my promise to kiss him tomorrow. That shot a spike of panic through me. What did it mean? Why was that his condition?

“Livvy?” Axios shook my leg gently and I looked around.

“Huh? What did you say?” 

“Monday is Halloween. Are we betting on which house pranks the first years the best?” Axios looked right through me and offered his hand, unseen by Marta. I took it under the blanket, and held on tight. 

“It’ll be Ravenclaw. Hufflepuffs are too nice. Slytherin always have good ideas but can’t bring themselves to do it to their own first years. Gryffindor ends up recycling pranks. Ravenclaws get creative.” 

Axios nodded his agreement, and Marta yawned again. “You’re probably right. I’m gonna head to bed. Gotta be ready for whoever famous shows up in the stands tomorrow!” She headed for the door, and then paused. “Nighty night!” She shot me a less-than-discreet wink, and was gone. 

“What was that?” Axios raised an eyebrow, still staring at the place Marta had been standing. 

“She thinks she’s funny. Don’t worry about it,” I said tiredly. 

“Are you going to tell me where your head was at?” He pulled at my hand until I looked at him. “Livvy I know when you’re somewhere else and you’re miles away.” 

“I was thinking about my dad,” I lied. 

“He would have been so proud of you,” Axios murmured, and I smiled sadly. 

“I hope so.” I looked around at the clock, and then realized what day it was, now we'd passed midnight. “Hey!”

He looked around, looking confused at my sudden mood swing. 

“Happy birthday!” 

He grinned, squeezing my hand. 


	20. The VIP

October 28, 2006

Axios left shortly after, and when I climbed into bed, I could again smell the cinnamon-coated lemon and firewhiskey on the blanket. I slept fitfully, visions of Axios holding me close turning into Mathieu kissing me and morphing into Ben grabbing me harshly, and the whole thing starting over.

When the sun came through the large window and woke me, I was relieved to find my bed empty. I got up and showered quickly, aiming to check on Mathieu before he woke up. Sure enough, he was still asleep when I ducked in, and I peeled back the bandages, holding my breath. I could have jumped up and down and cheered. The deepest of the burns now looked like a sunburn, the lesser burns gone completely. He would still be sore when he woke up, but he was miles ahead of where he’d been eight hours ago. 

I unlocked my office and started tea. I’d wait to summon Lolly for breakfast until Mathieu was awake. Out my window, I could see the banners of the pitch being transfigured one by one into alternating Slytherin and Gryffindor colors. Probably Rolanda Hooch preparing for the game. It didn’t start for another two hours, but I knew the teams would be assembling sooner than that, the stands filling with students, families, and quidditch scouts. 

I made the tea and was checking my stock of skele-gro when I heard Mathieu start to wake up, the sheets ruffling. I pulled the curtains back, and he groaned at the influx of light. 

“Sorry,” I whispered, pulling the curtains closed again. “How are you feeling?” 

He blinked slowly, and tentatively brought his hands to his chest. He prodded and poked near where the edges of the burn had been, and finding no discomfort, made his way down. 

“Better,” he croaked. “But I feel as if I have a hell of a hangover. It still hurts a bit.” He waved vaguely over his hips. 

I poured a glass of water and offered him a straw with it. He drank it gratefully, and closed his eyes. 

“I checked when I came in this morning. It looks so much better. You might even be allowed to go back to class Monday,” I teased gently. “Sorry about the hangover. It happens sometimes with the Living Death and the Dreamless Draughts, especially in quick succession. But I thought it was a better alternative to how you’d feel if you’d gone through that awake.” 

He just nodded. 

“If you get something in your stomach I can give you another mild pain reliever and should help the headache and the pain where you’re still burned.”

He nodded again. “Please.” His voice wasn’t as smooth as it was normally, but the water had helped some. 

“Good. Let me go order it from the kitchens, and we’ll see how you’re doing then.”

I retreated to my office, and summoned Lolly. I sat quietly as I waited for her to send a tray, watching the students begin to trickle from the castle to the pitch. Axios would be among them somewhere, and I found myself wishing for once I was at a quidditch game. 

The tray arrived, and I carried it out to Mathieu. He was able to sit up on his own, and ate more than I’d expected. When he finished, he settled back against his pillows, and inclined his head towards me.

“You promised I would wake up, and I did. Thank you, Vivienne.” 

I sent the tray back to the kitchens with a tap of my wand, and sat down on the edge of his bed. 

“I promised you more than that, and I’m a witch of my word.” I leaned forward, careful to not put any pressure on his still-healing body, and pressed my lips to his before he could say anything else. His lips were warm and soft, pliant against my own. His surprise melted away as I slid one hand around his neck, his hair curling around my fingers. He got one arm around my waist before I pulled back, dragging my hand from his hair and down his chest. His eyes were piercing, and for a fleeting instant it felt as if he could have taken my soul. 

I fled to my office before I could lean in and kiss him again. 

~~~

It turned out I was right to stay in the hospital wing as after the game was over, I had one Gryffindor with a dislocated shoulder, one with a broken nose, and a Slytherin with a broken arm. The Gryffindors were easy, and I had them out the door to sulk within half an hour. The fifth year Slytherin was their teams keeper, and her arm had been outstretched for the quaffle when she’d been hit by a bludger. She’d blocked the goal but both bones in her forearm had been shattered. Still, her house had won and she was in high spirits, at least until I magically realigned the bones and gave her a dose of skele-gro to set them. 

I told her house-mates that she’d be back to celebrate in a few hours, but now she needed to rest. They grumbled on their way out, but she looked appreciative as she relaxed when the ward was quiet again. 

I was in my office, filling out the students’ chart notes when Hannah and Marta wandered in. They raided my biscuit tin and sprawled over the two sofas as I finished the note on the Gryffindor’s broken nose. When it was complete , I pushed the unfinished stack away and joined them, but not before casting a silencing charm at the door. 

“I kissed him.” 

Hannah dropped her biscuit in her tea, Marta just raised an eyebrow, and Bardolf sputtered in his frame.

“I mean you were looking pretty cosy up in his lap last night…” Marta shrugged a shoulder, unperturbed.

I shook my head. “Not Axios. Mathieu.” I though Marta was going to drop her teacup. Hannah looked between us, her eyes glittering. 

“So you were cuddled up with Axios, but you kissed Matt.” Hannah prodded her teacup with her wand, the soggy bits of biscuit disappearing. “Makes sense. Though, do you mind filling us in on the in-between part?” 

I dropped my flaming face into my hands. “It’s the only way he’d let me heal him properly,” I moaned. “He told me he’d only let me on the condition that I let him kiss me. So I said yes.” 

Hannah stared at me, jaw slack, and Bardolf looked like he’d just won the lottery. 

“Did Axios know that you agreed to that?” Marta’s blue eyes were huge. 

“Definitely not. I was afraid he wouldn’t help in the first place!” 

“Wait wait wait. When did this happen?” Hannah leaned closer, her teacup tipping precariously. I watched as a drop spilled over the rim and slid down into the saucer. 

“This morning. Before the game started.” I kept my eyes on the teacup in Hannah’s hands. “Axios was in my chambers last night. We’d fallen asleep until Marta came up.”

“But you didn’t kiss Axios. You kissed Matt.” Marta’s incredulity was palpable, and I dropped my eyes from the cup to rectangle of light on the floor from the window. Dust in the air danced through the shaft of light, and I wanted to sink through the floor. 

“Well then. Are you going to hop in the sack with him or keep playing the field?” Hannah smirked at me. 

I shook my head. “This isn't happening. It was one kiss to get him to let me treat him. This isn’t a relationship or a fling or whatever. Not after Ben.” 

“Merlin’s Beard.” Bardolf was shaking his head, a wide grin plastered on his face. “You’re so much more fun than Poppy was!” 

~~~

They ended up staying for lunch, and Hannah volunteered to take Mathieu his tray. Marta stayed put smirking at my obvious discomfort. 

“You’re going to have to face him sometime, you know.” Marta had taken my desk chair to watch Hannah’s delivery, and was spinning around in lazy circles. 

“I know,” I sighed. “Hey, who was Minerva’s famous guest anyway?”

“It was Harry Potter and his wife. Apparently they wanted to come cheer on Gryffindor.” She sounded bored, her chair still spinning in circles. 

“That explains why she wanted Axios then.” Axios had not only played quidditch with both Harry and his wife Ginny while we’d been at school, but he worked with Harry as an Auror as well. 

She nodded, and her chair came to a sudden stop, her back to the doorway and she hissed, “Hannah’s bringing him with her!” 

I swore and sat up, rearranging my robes and summoning the stack of unfinished notes from my desk. I was opening the top one when Hannah and Mathieu came through the door. 

“How are you feeling?” Marta asked brightly, turning in the chair. 

“Better, thank you. Vivienne has been taking excellent care of me.” 

“I bet she has,” Hannah snickered. I glared at her, but Mathieu didn’t seem to notice as he gingerly sat in an empty armchair across from me. 

His hair curled wildly, but with pajamas and his dressing gown on and covering the bandages, he looked relatively well, not as if he’d been halfway boiled to death the day before. Magic was a hell of a drug.

“He was getting bored so I told him to come with us, seeing as we’re so entertaining. Hannah grinned wickedly at me from behind Mathieu’s back. 

I glared at her, but quickly dropped it in favor of casual disinterest as Mathieu looked up at me. I gestured to the trays of sandwiches, and summoned another teacup for him. He began to lean forward and stopped, his face twisting in pain. He sat back and summoned one instead. I watched carefully, making sure being out of bed wasn’t going to risk his still-healing body. 

When I was satisfied, I turned to Marta, who had resumed spinning in my office chair. “Doesn’t that make you nauseous?” 

She smiled as she took another turn. “Nah. Maybe a bit dizzy.” She stopped suddenly and stood up, waving on her feet to make her point before sitting down with a laugh. 

“You’re ridiculous.” I shook my head and turned back to the note for the dislocated shoulder. 

Hannah dove into a conversation with Mathieu about the intricacies of lunar phases when it came to brewing certain potions, and at some point I caught myself watching his lips move. The kiss hadn’t been bad. It had been nice, if I was going to be honest with myself. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try again when he wasn’t my patient. 

When I caught myself staring, I quickly excused myself to check on the Slytherin keeper. She was uncomfortable, but healing nicely. I pulled the curtain back around her, and took a moment to straighten my purple robes. Which was frankly ridiculous. There is no reason for me to be primping now of all times. 

“The Hospital wing is still here, with potions having been moved here to better accommodate Professor Dumont.” Axios’ voice had me turning in time to see him escort a man with messy black hair and a woman with a long red braid through the door, Neville with them. 

“Harry, Ginny, I don’t know if you remember Vivienne Beaulieu. She was a year behind me and Ginny in Ravenclaw.” Axios flashed a grin at me. 

“Of course I remember Viv! I’m fairly certain she’s the only reason I didn’t fail Astronomy,” Ginny laughed and pulled me into a hug. I returned the hug and gave a wave to Harry. 

“Gin, Harry. It’s nice to see you both. I’ve got Hannah, Marta, and Mathieu hiding out in my office as well,” I nodded to Axios. “If you want to go say hello, I’ll be along in a moment.” They went in, and I hid in the supply closet for a moment, trying to gather myself. 

I walked in right as Mathieu was starting to rise from his chair to shake Harry’s hand and I glared at him. “You better not even be THINKING about getting up right now,” I said crossly from the door. “I don’t care if its Merlin himself that comes through that door next.”

Harry turned with an eyebrow raised and a smirk. “I see you’ve filled in Poppy’s shoes quite nicely.” 

I blushed. “It comes with the territory,” I murmured, taking the Slytherin’s chart from the pile on my desk as Harry shook Mathieu’s hand. 

They stayed and chatted for a moment, and I was content to watch the scene play out. Marta kept jumping between Axios and Harry’s conversation about quidditch, and Hannah, Neville, and Ginny’s talk of the wedding. Mathieu was in the same boat I was, quietly watching, sipping his tea. Somehow the talk turned from quidditch to the student with the Acromantula bite, and Axios was telling them how I’d saved the boy’s life. 

My cheeks were on fire and I finally managed to squeeze in, “It wasn’t just me.” 

Harry had a knowing look on his face, and interrupted Axios to say, “I think Minerva is waiting for us in her office.” That led to saying goodbyes, and Harry and Ginny leaving almost as quickly as they’d come, but Neville stayed put with a cup of tea.

“He hates it when people fawn over him,” he was grumbling, and I suppressed a smile.

When Neville was done with his tea, he tugged Hannah along, muttering that they probably needed to save Harry and Ginny from someone else, and Marta said something about papers needing graded. 

That left me alone with Mathieu, and he looked exhausted. “You should go back to bed,” I warned him gently. “That was a lot.” He just nodded. “I should also put some more salve on the burns. You’re doing a lot better but it will still help.” He just nodded again.

I stood, and went to his side, ready to help or catch him as necessary. Thankfully, neither services were required and he was soon stretching back out onto the bed. He sunk into his pillow with a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan. I pulled the salve from my pocket, and asked, “Ready?” 

A semi-amused smile touched his lips, and he lifted his shirt away. “I do not think ready is the correct term here, but it will have to suffice.” 

I smiled at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, I know it feels awkward.” I started at the top this time, moving down, and when I’d shimmied his pants down, my cheeks flushed. Evidently the burn hadn’t been painful enough to stop his reaction to my light touches, but it looked like it was stretching the skin painfully. I smoothed the ointment over the skin as quickly as I could, and replaced his pants with a wave of my wand. “All done.” 

His own cheeks were pink at the exposure of his body’s reaction, but I was determined not to allow it to keep me from my job. “You should take a nap, it helps the ointment work. And I’ll have dinner brought up for you, though I won’t be here.” I didn’t think mentioning Axios’ birthday would improve his mood, so I kept quiet. 

“Merci,” he mumbled, and closed his eyes quickly. I was yanking the curtain closed behind me with my cheeks on fire when the Slytherin girl caught my attention. Her bones had set, and I let her return to her common room to celebrate. I finished her note quickly, and summoned Lolly, instructing her to have Mathieu’s dinner brought up. Once that was settled, I left the hospital wing with a swish of my robes.


	21. The Birthday

It wasn’t long before Aurora and Septima joined me in the staff common room, and then Neville and Hannah. Artimus wandered in a while later, and Neville informed us we were all to head to Hogsmead for the evening to celebrate Axios’ birthday. I was tasked with collecting Axios, and we all split to get our cloaks, meeting in the front hallway. Dinner was ending and most of the students had returned to their common rooms. A few more of the professors were collected along the way, including Marta and Minerva. 

I fell in step with Axios, and Marta smirked at me before lagging behind to join Aurora and Minerva. We walked in near silence, enjoying the quiet away from the constant clamor of students. It was nice to have a friend in Axios. He could read me like a book, even after years away, and tonight we were content to be the quiet presence we both needed for the walk.

Neville had obviously been planning this, because when we reached the Broomsticks, several aurors and various others joined us, including, to my delight, Astoria Greengrass. She was accompanying her boyfriend Draco Malfoy, but I tried to keep my distaste to myself. I found myself at a table with Marta, Aurora, Astoria and Draco, and soon found that the Malfoy heir wasn’t as disagreeable as I would have assumed. He was quite funny, and I began to understand what Astoria saw in him after all.

He and Aurora had evidently been working on some project since his last year at school, and Aurora was a regular guest at Malfoy Manor. Marta and Astoria had played quidditch together, and Marta was fascinated by some of our crazier stories from our time at St Mungo’s together. The chatter was easy, and I was able to relax and enjoy myself without the constant, stormy eyes of the potion’s master on me, though I thought I felt the light pressure of someone else’s eyes. When I looked around, all I found was a man looking Marta up and down. 

Hannah brought out a large lemon cake, and after several rounds of “Happy Birthday” and “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow,” Axios threatened to hex the next instigator, and he collapsed in a chair next to me, ribbing Draco about their last chess match, that Axios had evidently won. With his arm thrown casually over the back of my chair, I couldn’t help but think I could get used to it.

Others cycled past, and I noticed with a note of embarrassment, that everyone Axios introduced me to seemed to recognise my name. I wasn’t sure, however, if it was because of my work as a healer and the first resident matron of Hogwarts in nearly a decade, the Macnair trial, or if Axios still talked about me. After the fourth Auror to show a flicker of recognition, I settled for hoping it was some combination of the three. 

The evening was over far too quickly, and before I knew it we were trekking back up to the castle. I looped my arm through Axios’ like I had when we were in school, and everything felt right again. I was still smiling when I peeked in on the hospital wing, finding it’s lone occupant sleeping soundly. 

The next morning I was regretting the amount of wine I’d consumed, and dreading facing the injured potion’s master. My apprehension was justified when I pulled his curtain back to find him waiting rather impatiently. 

“Am I allowed to return to my own chambers yet?” He was getting considerably more irritable as his time in the hospital wing progressed, and after a quick examination of what was left of his burns, I handed him a fresh jar of the burn ointment. 

“Twice a day until all the redness is gone. You can go back to your chambers today, but I would suggest avoiding the stairs for a day or two more.” He was flicking the sheets back before I finished my sentence. 

“Then I can return to teaching tomorrow?” He was pulling his dressing gown on, avoiding my eyes.

“If you’re sure you’re feeling up to it. It  _ is _ Halloween though, and the students tend to work themselves up...“ He rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying you might want to take one more day. You’ve been through a lot the last few days, and magic is no substitute for rest. Promise me you won’t teach unless you’re feeling 100% better.” 

“I will take it under consideration,” he said, skirting around my request. 

“Fine. I think it should be better by tomorrow night as long as you keep up with the ointment, but if it’s not gone by Tuesday morning, you have to tell me.” I caught his wrist before he could push past me. 

“I know where to find you.” He finally met my eyes, the stormy blue provoking a blush to settle across my cheeks. 

“I’ll be going to dinner with my mum tonight, but Axios or Neville can help you if you need anything.” 

He nodded curtly, and left the ward quickly. I shook my head and set to work stripping the linens and cleaning the area thoroughly. I was in my office, finishing the last of his note when Marta danced in, looking entirely too put together and chipper for the amount of firewhiskey she’d ingested the night before. Her bright blue eyes were sparkling, her curls bouncing with every step. 

“You should be more hungover and less perfect,” I grumbled at her. 

“And you should put your considerable potion-making knowledge to use and keep some sobering solution on hand. Or just be aware that we keep a stock in the staff common room.” She grinned and slid a little vial of pearlescent white potion across my desk toward me. I swallowed it quickly, pulling a face at the overwhelming mint flavor. 

“They need to make one that isn’t so gross.” Despite my complaints, my headache and nausea were already fading and I was grateful for it. 

“Better?” Marta grinned.

“Much. But I feel like I should be asking who keeps the stock up, because it obviously wasn’t me, and I have a hard time seeing Matthieu doing it…” Marta’s throaty laugh sounded much better without the hangover. 

“I think Minerva started it, actually… She got sick of having her staff coming to breakfast hungover after the war. Axios made this batch a few weeks back though.” 

I snorted. “Of course he did.” I signed Mattieu’s chart, and sent it back to be filed with a tap of my wand. “Ready to head to my mum’s then?” I’d told Marta and Hannah they had a standing invitation to Sunday dinner at my mum’s early on, and Marta took me up on it semi-regularly, usually with a list of questions to ask my muggle mother about. Last time they’d spent nearly two hours talking about the differences between types of glue. 

We set off, stopping by the Broomsticks to collect Hannah. While we were waiting, I got the unsettling feeling of eyes watching us once more. Marta seemed unaffected though, and I shook it off as we linked arms and aparated to the safety of my mum’s back garden. 


	22. The Nightcap

October 31, 2006

Predictably, the next day the students were rowdier than usual, and the smells that wafted through the castle were tantalizing, keeping the anticipation of the night to come fresh on our minds. I’d always loved Halloween at Hogwarts, the grand feast outdoing even the start of term banquet. While the students were rowdy, they were careful not to be sent to me and risk missing the feast. A few doses of pepper-up potion and a sprained ankle from landing gone wrong at quidditch practice rounded out my day, and before I knew it, I was making my way down to the Great Hall. I met Filius on the second floor, and slowed my pace so he could keep up. 

“Not regretting joining us yet, I hope!” His high-pitched squeaks were nearly lost in the roar of the excited students. 

I smiled, shaking my head. “Not yet, but I’m nearly out of pepper-up potion again. This must be my fourth batch!” 

Filius squeaked a laugh. “Slow season then! There were years that Poppy went through a batch a week!” 

I grimaced at the thought of how many chart notes she must’ve gone through as well, and then gasped. “Filius you have outdone yourself again!” We’d entered the Great Hall, and I was taken back to my first Halloween at Hogwarts. Jack-o-lanterns floated around the room, and swarms of live bats swept across the ceiling that echoed the stormy night sky. The normally white candles suspended over the tables were black, their flame an ominous blue. 

He grinned happily, and bobbed ahead of me as I stopped to look around. 

“He does a bang-up job of it, but I swear he keeps adding more bats.” The deep voice in my ear coupled with the warmth of his breath on my neck made my stomach tighten and goosebumps prickled down my neck and back. 

Axios laughed, and I rubbed my arms to get rid of them faster. “Sorry, Livvy. I thought you saw me. Shall we?” He motioned to the high table and I cracked a smile. He pulled a chair out for me, and took the seat next to me, saying something about the Ravenclaw quidditch team. I watched the Hall fill slowly, until Marta took the empty seat on my other side. 

“Hey Viv. Axios.” She turned and leaned closer before whispering, “There is a very irritable-looking potions master watching.”

I looked up, and sure enough, Mathieu had rejoined the high table, his brilliant eyes on us even as he was saying something unintelligible to Artimus. I smiled weakly, and he nodded curtly. He turned his full attention to the Transfiguration professor, and I whispered back to Marta, “Not anymore.”

The feast was more enjoyable than most, even though I was keenly aware of the burning gaze of the potions master. Hannah and Neville had taken places next to Marta, and we all laughed and joked through most of the evening. After the feast was over, Neville, Hannah and Marta excused themselves for hallway duty, and Axios offered to walk with me up to my chambers. I accepted, watching Mathieu join Neville and head towards the dungeons. 

“Are you ok, Livvy? You’ve seemed a little distracted tonight.” Axios had his hands shoved in his pockets, and looked like the boy I remembered from our common room. It made me smile, and I shook my head. 

“I’m good. A little tired. I was at my mum’s a little later than I should have been last night. I try to go every Sunday night, and I missed last week because of the kid that tried to tickle a unicorn.” 

Axios snorted. “Hufflepuff?”

“Gryffindor.” 

“I should have known,” he groaned. “I know we’re supposed to be impartial but damn they can be dumb.” 

“Says the one that thought cracking a joke about catnip-laced biscuits in front of Minerva your third year was a good idea,” I laughed. 

“I still wonder why she hired me after that…” he rubbed at the back of his neck, chuckling at the memory. 

“Because she knew that you were a dumb 13 year old. Kinda like the third year Hufflepuff I had to reverse the engorgement charm on his unmentionables a few weeks back. Though now I think about it, I’m pretty sure the catnip joke was the same year you got us locked out of the common room for two hours for mouthing off to the knocker.” I shook my head. 

“Nah that was my fourth year. Umbridge had just gotten rid of the portraits, remember? I asked him if he would be next.” Axios stopped and looked at me, grin fading. “I hope you know I did everything I could to protect you from her.”

I nodded, thinking back to that year. Umbridge had been the worst thing to ever happen to the school. She and her Inquisitorial Squad had made everyone’s lives hell. When news about the secret Dumbledore’s Army had broken, even trust within the Houses had crumbled; but Axios had looked out for me. “I know.” 

“And I’ve still got you, love. If you need me.” He shoved his hands back into his pockets, and I looped my arm through his as we resumed walking. 

“That’s all over and behind us,” I said firmly. Softer I added, “But I appreciate it.” I squeezed his arm and he grinned, his boyish charm returning. We ended up talking about our holiday plans the rest of the way up. We’d both be staying, as it turned out. 

When we reached my door, he gave me a tight hug, and I returned it. “Happy Halloween, Livvy. G’night.” He dropped a quick kiss on the top of my head, and I ducked into my room. Just friends, I told myself. Just friends. 

Later, I was lounging across the sofa with a book when there was a soft knock on my door. I looked at the clock- after midnight. Panic keeping me from even pausing, I flung the door open in my tank top and running shorts. 

“Nightcap?” Mathieu was framed in the door, wiggling a bottle of elf-made wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. He was still dressed, his black slacks and navy cashmere sweater blending into the darkness of the hallway behind him. 

“For Merlin’s sake you scared the hell out of me! The last time someone knocked on my door this late, a boy was missing half his bloody leg!” I left the door open and turned, disappearing into my bedroom looking for my dressing gown. I found it under the quilt I still had from that night, and pulled it around my bare shoulders. I didn’t mention his seemingly cold greeting at dinner. 

Mathieu had moved inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. “I did not mean to worry you, I am most sorry.” The apology didn’t quite cover the amusement in his eyes, but I let it slide when he gave me a charming smile. “I wanted to thank you properly.”

We sat on the sofa facing the fire, and he poured us both generous glasses of wine. He took up his usual position, long legs stretched out and arm draped behind me. I sat down, tucking my legs under me and belatedly realized how close to him I’d settled myself. He lifted his glass, and locked his smoky blue eyes on mine. “Santé,” he toasted, and clinked his glass against mine. 

“Santé,” I echoed breathily. He took a drink, eyes still gripping mine and I almost dropped my glass. I got it to my lips and took a deep drink. I let my eyes close, and let the wine center me. When I opened my eyes, Mathieu’s steely blue eyes were still locked on my face. The firelight danced across his face, making his hair glow a deeper gold and his eyes shift from grey to blue and back again. 

“I wanted to thank you for healing me. Half of me wonders if it was just a dream, now it is as if it never happened… but I do not think my mind could have fabricated it.”

I nodded, my cheeks going pink. I tried to push the thoughts of his now-healthy body under my hands away, and failed miserably.

His eyes were asking a question I didn’t want to say no to, and when his long fingers traced lazy circles over my shoulder, they sent jolts of electricity through my body. I felt lightheaded and dizzy, and I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the proximity to him. His eyes were unyielding, tracing over my features. When he focused on my lips, I realized they were parted slightly, and I was breathing hard. I tried to take a deep breath to slow my pounding heart, but realized my attempts were futile when his lips curved into a smile. I set my glass down on the table next to me, afraid I’d drop it, and turned back to him. 

I found myself eye level with his lips. They were thin, but looked incredibly soft; his bottom lip slightly more full than the top, but still balanced. His lips were a lovely pink, and I wanted to trace a finger around them. I noticed a few light freckles across his nose and cheeks I hadn’t seen before, and I leaned in closer. The scent of chocolate coffee washed over me. 

“You have the prettiest eyes.” He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and let his fingers linger on the soft skin of my neck. The light touch tickled, and I shuddered. “Sorry,” he murmured, and the pressure on my increased slightly, and he buried his fingers in my hair. His eyes were still probing mine, asking the question when I surrendered, closing my eyes and melting into his touch. A second hand joined the first in my hair, drawing me forward. I could feel his breath dancing across my skin, smell the wine, and hear his breaths growing almost as ragged as mine. 

Then his lips met mine. Soft and warm, the lightest brush at first; until I leaned forward, capturing his bottom lip between mine. I slipped one of my own hands around his neck while I braced the other against his chest. His hair was silky between my fingers, and I could feel the definition of the muscles of his pecs under the soft, fine wool of his sweater. 

His lips were persistent but gentle as they moved against mine, his tongue teasing as he traced bits of my lips. It wasn’t long before I was gasping for air. I pulled back, and he just moved his lips from my mouth to my jaw, nipping at my earlobe and nuzzling my neck. I shifted, uncomfortable from leaning over my folded legs and he took a hand from my hair, throwing my legs over his lap. His slid his hand across the bare skin from my calves up to my thigh, resting his arm against my leg. He didn’t stop kissing, and I dropped my head into his arm, letting him explore the expanse of soft skin at my throat. 

I was struck by the intimacy of our arrangement, but it just spurred me on. I guided him back up to my lips, and slipped my tongue into his mouth, desperate to taste more of him. His fingers tightened on my hip, and he drew me closer with his other arm, until I was pressed flush to his chest. He was the one to break the kiss this time, chest heaving. I took the chance to bury my face in his neck, nibbling and kissing my way down to his collar. 

I drew back for a moment, and his eyes found mine, burning with lust. He drew me back in, and I moaned quietly. I felt his lips turn up against mine and his arms tighten around me. 

“Who would have thought the lips of an angel could be so sinful?” His lips were on my ear and my brain refused to form an answer more eloquent than another moan. He captured my mouth with his and twisted his body so I was laying against him on the sofa. 

The sudden movement made my head spin, and I pressed my forehead to his shoulder. “Are you alright?” His velvety voice made my head spin even more. I turned my head, and with my ear to his chest I could hear his heart hammering almost as hard as mine. 

“Just… dizzy…” I panted. I tried to push myself up and off him, but he held me firmly. 

“Stay here. Take a deep breath.” He wasn’t going to take no as an answer, this much I knew. So I let myself melt against his body while I caught my breath. That was nothing like our kiss in the hospital wing. I listened to his heart gradually slow as mine did. He stroked down my ribs and waist to my hip and back up again in a slow, steady rhythm. I started to trace small shapes over his chest with my finger. 

“Mmm,” the sound rumbled deep in his chest. I glanced up to see his eyes were closed. “That feels nice.” I smiled, watching his relaxed expression. I lifted my head a bit higher and he cracked his eyes, looking at me through his lashes. I just kept tracing little shapes, and filling my lungs with the intoxicating scent of rich coffee and sweet chocolate. 

We stayed there for awhile, watching each other as we lay quietly together. It was warm and comfortable there in his arms by the fire, and I didn’t want to move. 

“Mathieu?” I finally asked. 

He hummed in response, his eyes closed. 

“I don’t want this to change anything.” My throat tightened, and his eyes opened, confusion clouding his eyes. “I just… I fancy you. But we’re colleagues, too.” 

Understanding flooded through his eyes, and his hand stilled on my waist. 

“I just… I made the mistake of dating a colleague once before. It didn’t end well, for either of us. I… I think I would rather have you as a friend and colleague than… Whatever this may be.” 

Tears pricked my eyes as I remembered how my last relationship had gone up in flames. That was when I’d started coming back to Hogwarts periodically, as trying to get away from him at St Mungo’s was nearly impossible. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “This does not have to be anything you do not want it to be. It can be… How do you English say it. Strings not connected?” 

“No strings attached,” I offered. 

“Yes. If that is what you want. During the day, we are colleagues. In the evenings… We can be friends. We can drink, or talk. Maybe you will let me kiss you again,” he winked, and I rolled my eyes, smiling. He sobered. “I like you, too. But I would not wish to make you uncomfortable or sad… Though now you have seen every bit of me and know what you are getting.” 

I smiled faintly, feeling the blood rush across my cheeks. “Your accent gets stronger when you’re tired.” He chuckled, and I rested my chin back down on his chest. “Can I think about it? It’s late, and you got me tipsy before you kissed me dizzy.” Another chuckle rumbled through his chest and I found myself… hopeful. If we could make that work for a time, we might stand a chance. 

He tightened his arms around me, whispering, “Only if you let me kiss you again first.” I leaned up and kissed him as an answer. I kissed him long and deep, my hands tangled in his hair and his arms locked around me.

When we broke apart this time, we were both smiling. I smoothed his hair back from his face, and whispered, “We should go to bed.” 

He grinned, “I did not expect that, but if you insist.” 

I smacked his chest. “Cheeky bastard!” But I laughed with him until he sat us both up. My legs were still draped across his, and as I swung them off his lap he watched appreciatively. I stood up and stretched, and he wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my head. It made me giggle, and I spun around in his arms to face him. I had to crane my neck to see his face, and he smiled. 

“Go, it’s late.” I tried to sound stern, but even to my own ears it lacked any substance behind it. All of the sudden I was dreading him leaving, even if he would be in the next room over. 

“I will. You think about what I said.” His eyes were soft and inviting, and for a moment I considered asking him to stay. I stopped myself, reminding myself what had happened last time. I didn’t need too much, too fast blowing up in my face like a badly brewed potion. 

He kissed me once more, slowly and gently, holding me as if my body would shatter at his touch before murmuring, “Bonne nuit, Vivienne.” 

With that, he left. I looked around, the book I’d been reading abandoned, the bottle of wine and two mostly finished glasses on the table, and suddenly felt cold. When I slipped into bed, I thought back to what he’d said that morning he’d brought me breakfast. “Big bed and a little cocoon.” I fell asleep wondering if having him there would make that statement any less true.


	23. The Tower

November 1, 2006

The next morning dawned bright and cold. The storm clouds from the night before lingered, leaving the skies grey and cold. At breakfast, an owl arrived with a letter from Ben, which I promptly returned without opening. I spent the day in the hospital wing without much to do, and I left early to take a walk outside before it got dark. 

The cold air was refreshing but didn’t do much for my tangled thoughts. I was lost in the implications of any kind of involvement with the potions master and almost walked into Axios as he came around the corner from the direction of the quidditch pitch. 

“Livvy!” His arms shot out to steady me. 

“Axios!” 

“Are you alright? It’s chilly, you look cold.” 

I shook my head. “No I’m fine. How are you?” 

“Great, I just finished supervising Ravenclaw’s quidditch practice. We’ve got a pretty good team this year!” 

“That’s great,” I smiled weakly. 

Axios didn’t miss my melancholic air. “Do you want some company, love?” 

“That sounds nice. But if you have somewhere to be…” 

He shook his head. “Not at all.” He offered his arm and I took it gratefully. We set off over the grounds in companionable silence. The wind was picking up, whipping my hair from its twist. We wandered for a while, and finally stopped near the greenhouses right as the first snowflakes of the year started to fall. 

I pushed the hair back from my face, and looked up at Axios. He looked down at me, his dark eyes steady on mine. He reached up, brushing the rogue snowflake-dusted hair from my face, and then without a moment’s hesitation, pressed his lips to mine. His lips were colder than Mathieu’s had been, but also firmer, more confident. He tasted like the Muggle lemon drops he favored, probably the ones I’d given him for his birthday. I melted into him, pulling the front of his robes closer. He snaked his arms around me, one hand in my hair, the other at the small of my back. 

I got lost in him, anticipating and reacting to his kisses and movements like a choreographed dance. There was no fumbling or awkward pauses, just the two of us with snow flurries separating us from the world. 

When we split, I was breathless. Snowflakes clung to Axios’ coal-colored lashes, and his dark eyes sparkled triumphantly. Then my stomach dropped, the reality of what I’d just allowed to happen sinking in. 

I could feel the blood draining from my face, my eyes going wide. “Axios,” I gasped, shaking my head. “I can’t… We can’t…” I lifted a hand to my mouth, taking a step back. 

His brows furrowed, and he looked crestfallen. “Livvy—“

“Please don’t.” A tear trickled down my face, and I turned, fleeing from his frozen figure. 

I passed through the entry hall, where Marta and Mathieu stood talking together. She saw me first, and I gave her a sharp shake of my head. I saw her grab Mathieu’s arm, keeping him from following me up the stairs. Thank god for Slytherin friends. 

I considered bypassing my rooms and hiding in the astronomy tower as I had as a student, but decided against it. If Axios came looking, he’d know where to find me, and I’d have nowhere to hide. Instead I locked myself in my room, and hoped that I would be left alone. I decided to take advantage of the oversized tub, and started the water running. I muttered a few words, and a thick, sweet-cream-and-honey scented bubble bath poured from my wand tip. I shut the door leading to the bathroom firmly, and cast a silencing charm so if someone did knock at my door, I wouldn’t hear them. Just to be safe, I flicked on the radio as well.

I stepped into the bath and gasped at the warmth that immediately started seeping into my cold limbs. I sunk down into the bath, and tried to retreat into a part of my mind where men didn’t reside, including Mathieu Dumont or Axios Fairview or Ben Wilson. 

The bath helped, and the rest of my evening was pleasantly quiet, but I was restless. Before I could take myself out of it, I was pulling on my favorite set of blue robes and pulling the blue and bronze quilt with me into the corridor. 

I hurried through the quiet castle, feeling as if I was sneaking through it as I had in my days as a student. I reached the door I’d been looking for, and murmured a near-silent “lumos,” my wand tip lighting. I took the stairs slowly, remembering each step perfectly from doing it hundreds of times without the wand-light. I reached the top, and paused, inhaling deeply. “Nox,” I breathed, and the wand light faded, and I was left in silvery moonlight. The air was frigid, and there was a dusting of snow over most of the stone, but it looked exactly as I’d remembered it. 

The astronomy tower had been my getaway, my hiding place. Once I’d learned how to keep myself warm by various methods, there were some times that I never thought I’d leave. Hazel and I may have been inseparable, but even she left me alone when I needed it here. In fact, the only person that ever really invaded my space here was Axios; but truth be told, he’d staked claim on it before I had. We simply hadn’t realized it until my third year when I began to spend more and more time here to escape Umbridge. 

I wrapped the quilt around me, and settled down against the stone wall, watching the stars and clouds dance. I could still pick out the planets and constellations. Aurora had been my astronomy professor while I was here, and she’d appreciated my enthusiasm for the night sky. In fact, she was the only one to have caught me here after hours, and instead of giving me detention, she’d sat with me and we’d talked about the stars. That had been just after my dad had died and I’d come back from his funeral feeling broken and lost. Much as I’d felt now, as it stood. I wondered briefly if she’d remember that night. Maybe I’d have to ask her one of these days. 

My breath came out in white puffs, and my toes were beginning to go numb, but I refused to use a warming charm. Ironically, magic would take away the enchantment I’d come here for. So I sat in the cold, and let myself be carried away into the velvety depths of the universe. 

~~~

“Come on then,” I murmured to the figure behind me. “Might as well say it.”

“You can’t run from everything, Livvy.” Axios’ voice was low but gentle as he stepped from the shadows. 

I sighed, but knew he was right. And I guess I had to face him now. So I climbed awkwardly to my feet, facing him. 

“Are you going to tell me what that was about?” He started to bring his hand up, but evidently thought better of it and crossed his arms tightly across his chest. 

I pulled the blanket tighter, and tried to blink away the tears that had filled my eyes. “Do you know why I came back to Hogwarts?” The bitter question seemed to throw him off guard, but I kept going. 

“Because I got into a relationship with a colleague. And then it turned out that he wasn’t who I thought he was, and it almost ended my career.” I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, the freezing air making it sting. 

“I reported him for the awful things he did, and then yes, I ran.” The tears were sliding down my neck now. 

“And I ended up getting pushed into a corner by Mathieu so he would let me do my job properly, which led to me thinking maybe it could work. And then my best friend had to go and kiss me and make me feel like there was actually something there, not just my imagination. And I can’t do this. I can’t risk losing you like I lost Hazel. And my dad. And Ben.” I was sobbing now, my collar soaking through with my tears, but they weren’t going to stop. 

“Livvy…” his voice cracked, and he stepped forward. “I‘m sorry.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I pushed against him. The harder I fought him, the tighter he held me until I stopped fighting, and just cried. It all came out in waves of tears and once again my body felt as if it would shatter. But this time Axios was holding me together, his arms tight around me, his face in my hair. “I’m so sorry. If I had known…” 

I shook my head against his chest. 

“I promise I’m not going anywhere, love. You won’t lose me. You’ve got me.” He drew back, tipping my chin up. His fingers almost felt warm after the wind-chilled tears, and I shivered. “Don’t think I won’t stop fighting for you. But no matter what happens, I won’t leave you unless you ask, and really mean it.”

I don’t know how long we stood there, but at some point I realized that I believed him. 

~~~

“I’m telling you, if you invited them to bed together I think they’d both go for it.” Marta was folded into an armchair in my office the next day, smirking at the blush creeping across my face. Hannah was sprawled across the sofa, flipping through a witch’s bridal magazine. She paused to watch my expression, and I just rubbed my temples.

“Ok fine. Who’s the better kisser?” Marta was way too happy to be asking these questions. 

“Marta this is not helping,” I groaned.

“I dunno. I kinda want to know now.” Hannah set the magazine aside and joined Marta in staring me down. 

“Ugh.” I threw the chart note I was writing down and sighed. “They were both good. Mathieu was very… sensual. But Axios was just… Easy is the wrong word.” They snickered. “I just mean it felt like we knew what was going to happen and we both just went with it.” 

“So which one do you want to keep making out with?” Marta made it sound like I was choosing a pair of shoes. 

“That is not a fair question. Axios is my best friend besides you two and I don’t want to ruin that.”

Hannah shrugged. “Neville started out as my friend. Turned out to be the best lay I’ve ever had.” 

“I did not need to know that, and I’m never going to see Neville the same way again.” I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of the accompanying image. 

“We’re just saying, sometimes being friends first can be a good thing. We all know he’ll treat you like Rowena herself. He’s been head over heels for you for as long as I can remember,” Marta added.

“See I don’t want to have that kind of expectation. But I still think it’s all a bad idea. If something happens, we’ll all have to work together still.” I thought of the year I’d spend attempting to work with Ben and how horribly it had gone. I couldn’t do that here.

Marta didn’t look convinced. “I think you need to take a calculated risk. Whether its with Matt or Axios… You can’t close yourself off because of one bad relationship. Hell, if I did that, I would have stopped dating after Blaise Zabini my 5th year. That was a nightmare.” 

“You were 15. You didn’t have a career to think of.” I shifted in my chair, trying to yet again convince myself that a relationship would definitely not work. 

“No but I did have to face him every day for the next year and a half. It blew over and we were fine.”

I snorted. “I fail to see how this is supposed to help the situation I’m currently in.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “Do you need to flip a coin? She pulled a sickle from her pocket at threw it at me. I caught it, and threw it right back. 

“If I’m going to have a romantic relationship with either one of them, it will be because of them. Not the result of a coin toss.” 

She tucked the sickle back in her pocket. “Suit yourself.” 

“Whoever you choose, do it soon.” Marta smirked. “Hi Axios!” 


	24. The Arrival

December 6, 2006

The next few weeks seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, the castle was decorated with trees, and the ghosts were roaming the hallways singing every Christmas carol I could think of. Big red bows adorned every doorway, and the suits of armor were enchanted to laugh like Santa Claus if you tapped their breastplate. The students were getting restless before the term ended and they left for their holidays. 

Mathieu and I had been spending more time together in the evenings, ending up in my sitting room more often than not. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we read in silence, sometimes we both fell asleep on the sofa after a drink. But every night we were together, we kissed. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it felt like being a teenager again, the butterflies and anticipation that precluded his hands on my body and my lips on his. 

Marta and Hannah were baffled as to why I hadn’t taken him to bed yet, but he hadn’t made a move to try, even keeping his hands firmly over my clothing, and I was happy to take it slow. Axios treated Mathieu with casual indifference, but I knew he was watching closely for any signs that I was unhappy. 

Two weeks before term ended, I walked into my office following dinner, and met my worst nightmare. As if together they weren’t bad enough, Axios and Matthieu stood on either side of none other than Benjamin Wilson. 

“Ben,” I gasped. I fought the urge to turn and run. 

“Hey hun.” His voice, with its American accent sounded so out of place within the walls of Hogwarts. His brown hair was longer than it had been while we’d been dating, and he looked a little disheveled in old jeans and a muggle hoodie. He was about the same height as Axios, but had a slighter build. Mathieu was slighter still, but I knew he was made of solid muscle and had several inches on Ben. 

“What are you doing here?” I wrapped my arms around myself, and saw both Axios and Mathieu’s eyes narrow on me. 

“I've missed you, V.” He opened his arms, and the other two men stiffened. He looked between them, his eyes lingering on Mathieu. “Uhh… V? What’s with the guard dogs?” 

I could see Axios gripping his wand in his pocket, and Mathieu's hand twitching towards his own concealed wand. “They’re probably thinking along the same lines as I am. That was a bullshit answer. And stop calling me V. ” I tightened my hold on my own rib cage, feeling as if I was going to fall apart if I let go. “What do you want,” I demanded. 

He dropped his arms, and his hazel eyes hardened. “Fine. I’m here because I want you to redact your statement, and my letters keep being returned, unopened.” 

“I’ve already told you, it’s not going to happen, Ben.”

“It’s not like it will affect you at all. Just tell them you were mistaken and no harm done.”

“I think I’ve made myself clear. I told the truth, and I’m not taking it back.” I sounded much calmer than I felt, and I just hoped my face wasn’t giving me away. I watched as Axios’ jaw tightened, and Mathieu’s wand-hand inch even closer to his pocket. 

“You _bitch._ I’ll kill you for this, _”_ he hissed, lunging at me. I shrunk back, but Axios and Mathieu were already shoulder to shoulder between us, wands raised. 

“Wrong answer, mate.” Axios’ voice was dangerously low, his eyes burning with unadulterated hatred. 

“And it seems as if you have overstayed your welcome,” Mathieu’s voice was equally lethal, his eyes ice cold. For the first time since they started pursuing me, I was grateful they were both there. 

“Livvy, go to your room until we can get the bastard off the grounds and ban his sorry arse.” Axios’ eyes and hands were steady. 

“Livvy? What the hell! That's not even your name and I—“ he choked, the effects of a tongue-tie jinx silencing him, but it wasn’t from Axios. 

“We are her friends, and you have no right to decide what she is called by whom,” Mathieu spit out coldly. “Now she is leaving, and you are going to cooperate before we call the Aurors. Understood?” 

Ben’s eyes burned, but he knew he was outmatched. He nodded once, and glared at us. 

“Livvy, love. Please go.” Axios said again, softer this time. 

“You arrogant prick. Why can’t you just stop ruining people’s lives?” I turned on my heel and walked away. 

I closed my door behind me, and spied a still mostly-full bottle of firewhiskey on the table. I poured myself a glass, and waited for them to come back. 

It was almost an hour before they returned, and I was most of the way through a second glass when they knocked. 

“Livvy it’s us. He’s gone, love.” 

I stayed where I was in the armchair, pressing the cold glass to my temple and just pointed my wand at the door. The door swung open to reveal their somber faces, and Minerva with them. 

They filed in, taking seats. Axios in the armchair beside me, Minerva and Mathieu on the sofa. I summoned glasses for each of them, and they each took a drink before anyone spoke. 

“He’s been banned from the grounds. I adjusted the wards, he won’t be able to come near you again.” Axios stared at his glass as if he was trying to decide if he wanted to finish drinking it, or if he wanted to smash it into a million pieces. 

Minerva cleared her throat. “Bardolf came to find and inform me. It seems he’s become quite fond of you,” she said with a small smile. 

“The portrait of the healer in my office,” I explained at Axios and Mathieu’s shared look of confusion. They nodded, and Minerva continued. 

“I contacted St Mungo’s directly, and it would seem he is no longer employed due to neglect and behavior unbecoming.” 

I snorted. “That’s legal speak for almost killing patients and getting off because he threatens whichever healer knows the truth.” I shot the whiskey and dropped my head into my hands. “He was so good at covering it up.”

“It would seem that the evidence you gave before joining us is what gave them what they needed.” Minerva took another drink. 

“Why did they not warn her?” Mathieu looked relaxed, with his arm thrown over the back of the sofa and legs stretched out, but I could see the anger darkening his eyes to grey. 

“He doesn’t have a history of violence.” I shuddered. “That they know of.” I let the revelation hang in the air, but didn’t expand on it any further. 

“He’s not going to be able to get close again. The wards should stop him, but I’ll send an owl to the Floo Registry and Harry and Ron at the Auror offices as well.” Axios threw back the rest of his whiskey and set the glass down. 

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to make it a problem for the school.” I started to tremble. “I understand if you’d like my resignation.” 

Minerva raised an eyebrow. “Vivienne, allow me to speak freely for a moment.” I nodded miserably, and she went on. “Quite frankly I’m not sure if I’m more angry that you’re placing the blame on yourself or that someone was here threatening you as a member of my staff.

“You are here because I know the kind of person you are. Knowing that you turned him in only strengthens my resolve that I made the correct choice in hiring you. I should be apologizing that you had the misfortune of being threatened while within this castle, and I assure you that I will take great lengths to ensure it does not happen again!”

Her words hung in the air for a moment before Axios let out a low whistle. “I think the last time I saw you that fired up, you were throwing hexes at a couple of Death Eaters.” he observed, nodding appreciatively. 

Minerva sniffed, and straightened her robes. “I do not care for anyone that believes they can attack my staff or students on these grounds.” 

I nodded, tears threatening to fall. “Thank you, Minerva.” 

Her eyes softened. “You are most welcome, my dear.” She looked at her watch, and stood. “I’m off to write several letters to the ministry regarding this. I’ll ask Mr Potter to assign an auror to your mother, as well, until this is sorted out, unless you think she’d rather come here.” 

I shook my head. “She’s far too stubborn for that. She won’t leave… Honestly she’d probably love for him to show up. She’s been dying to give him the scolding of the century since we broke up.” 

Minerva’s lips twitched into a smile. “Very well. If I hear anything else, you will be the first to know.” 

She left, leaving us in silence. 

“Livvy… Are you ok?” I could feel both of their eyes burning holes into me, but I couldn’t make myself look up. I just nodded. 

“Will someone please explain where you get ‘Livvy?” Mathieu sounded exasperated, and I finally began to laugh. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, my shoulders shaking. 

“It’s really not that funny,” I wheezed, and they both looked at me with expressions halfway between bemusement and concern for my sanity. 

“I was a year ahead of her. Her first year, I couldn’t remember her name, and I peaked at the top of one of her assignments trying to catch her name. I thought it said “Liv.” Axios chuckled. “She was too shy to correct me, so I want an entire year before realizing that it was Viv. By that time, Liv became Livvy, and it stuck.” He shrugged. “I may have also insured nobody else made the mistake for the next 5 years or so… I’m the only one that called her that.”

I was still shaking with silent laughter and tears rolled down my cheeks. “Hazel thought you were cute so we didn’t want to make you feel bad!” I wiped the tears from my face. “And then you kept doing it! The longer it went on the worse we felt.” 

He grinned. “And then Penelope Clearwater tried to correct me and I argued with her for a solid hour til you walked by. I still don’t think I’ve seen you that red since you had to admit to me that I’d been calling you the wrong name for a year.” 

Mathieu watched us with a smile, his blue eyes sparkling. He caught my eye and gave me a wink before throwing the rest of his whiskey back. 

“I tell him I’m going to hex him so nobody else uses it. It just feels wrong coming from anyone else.” I smiled at the flood of memories from our school days. 

“Well now it finally makes sense. You are just an idiot,” Mathieu taunted. To my surprise, Axios just grinned. 

I wondered what had changed in the last few hours to make them friends, but I was content to let it play out. We sat drinking and talking for a while longer, Axios and I recounting stories from our school days together and Mathieu laughing at our escapades. 

A while later, Axios looked at his watch and stood. “I gotta go to bed. I’ve got an early NEWT prep class in the morning. I stood with him, and followed him to the door. When I hugged him goodbye he whispered in my ear, “You’ve still got me, love.” I gave him a confused look, but he just waved and set off down the hall. I shut the door, and returned to my seat across from Mathieu. 

Are you certain you are alright?” His velvety voice sent a shiver down my spine, and I nodded. “I can stay here tonight, if you are still worried. Here on the sofa, naturally.” 

I laughed at that. “No, you’ll be more comfortable in your own bed. I’m not worried… Minerva and Axios tightened security, and you’re next door.” I smiled up at him. “Thank you, though. I’m sorry you got dragged into it… I never dreamed that he would try to come here.”

He shrugged. “I understand now.” 

“Understand what?” I frowned. 

“Why you came here. Why you make yourself small. Why you are afraid of this.” He waves vaguely between us. 

I shook my head. “I think you’re reading too much into it. I dated someone who turned out to be a real jerk, and now I’m not. That’s all there is to it,”

He looked skeptical, but didn’t argue. “I will go. It is getting late.” 

I just nodded, refusing to look at him. I knew if I did, I’d beg him to stay… Because I didn’t understand. But he might. The door clicked shut, and I looked around. The room was empty, and suddenly, I was too. After I crawled in bed, I tossed and turned for what felt like hours. When I drifted off, it was a fitful and restless.


	25. The Morning

December 7, 2006

Someone was screaming. Who was screaming? Why couldn’t I breathe?

I was screaming. It was sucking the air from my lungs, and my lungs couldn’t take in a breath. The room was spinning. My chest seized and my lungs were on fire but the screaming continued. Why was I screaming?

My father’s casket flashed through my mind. Hazel lifeless on the bed at St Mungo’s. The poisoned girl with purple skin. The pale boy on the floor of the entrance hall, covered in blood. But the last two… There was someone else. Someone breathing. Talking to me. 

“Vivienne. VIVIENNE. VIVIENNE!” Blue eyes. Holding the potions that saved their lives. Black eyes. Holding me. 

“No!” The word ripped from my throat, followed by sobs. 

“Vivienne wake up. You are safe. Ma chérie, I am here.” A velvet voice in my ear, whispering a stream of comforting words. A soft sweater pressed against my cheek. Warm arms cradling my shattering body. 

“Mathieu,” I sobbed, over and over, clawing at the bedclothes. 

“Oui. Yes. I am here. Shhhh. You are safe.” The words continued in English and French, and he began to stroke my hair. 

The sobs started to subside, and the spinning slowed and stopped. I kept a death grip on one of his hands, worried that as soon as I let go, he would disappear. 

“Vivienne?” The question was unbearably soft, and I started to cry again. Big, silent tears running down my face, soaking into the navy blue sweater and wetting the shirt beneath. He continued stroking my hair down over my bare shoulders. “It was just a dream. You are safe.” He continued, whispering and brushing his fingers down my hair and skin. 

“I’m so sorry,” I finally cried, releasing him from my death grip, and wiping at my face. I tried to sit up, but was caught in the sheets twisted around me. 

“Ma chérie, shhh,” he tried to soothe me as I thrashed and fought against the fabric trapping me. I felt his weight shift, and the pressure of his body disappeared. The sheets were peeled back, cool air washing over my sticky legs. 

I dropped my head back into the pillows, gasping at the chill, and finally lay still. A large hand slipped under mine, gripping it gently. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of his skin on mine. Warm, soft, and unwaveringly solid. My breathing calmed, and I opened my eyes again. 

Mathieu had knelt next to the bed, one hand extended into mine, the other halfway to my hair. His honey blond hair flopped into his eyes. His stormy blue eyes that looked at me with such compassion and pain. 

“I’m so sorry.” The moment the whispered apology that left my lips, the pain in his eyes deepened to agony. 

“Do not be sorry, ma chérie. I have you. You are safe.” He reached up with his free hand and pushed his fingers through his hair before brushing them across my forehead. His jaw was set, his mouth pressed into a thin line. I thought about sending him away, back to his own bed, but the thought made my heart race and bile rise in my throat. So much for not begging him to stay. 

“Mathieu…” I swallowed hard. “Will you stay with me?” Relief flooded his face, and he squeezed my hand. 

“Oui, ma chérie.” He lifted my hand to his lips, before standing. I shifted to the far side of the bad, making room for him. He slid into the bed, laying on his back and stretching out his arm for me. I curled back into him, my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. 

“Why are you still dressed?” I traced a button beneath the layer of cashmere. 

“I was restless. I took a walk, and when I returned, I could hear you crying. I knocked… but…” he trailed off, and I just nodded. After a moment he asked, “Did he hurt you?”

My fingers stilled on his chest, and he stopped breathing. “Not physically. No...” My answer was cautious, but his chest began to rise and fall again. “But he brings a lot of bad memories with him.” I shuddered. “I’d forgotten how bad it could be. I’ve been better since I’ve come back to Hogwarts…”

He kissed the top of my head. “Good. You are better off here.” His tone turned teasing, “avec moi.” 

“With you…” I echoed. The words were on my mind as both of our bodies relaxed. 

~~~

“Mmm. Bonjour ma chérie,” a velvety voice thick with sleep greeted me, and my brain short-circuited. There was a man. In my bed. Speaking French? Wait… the memories trickled back into focus. Ben showing up, the nightmare… and Mathieu. 

“Do you forget how to speak English every morning, or just the mornings you wake up in someone else’s bed?” I tried to roll over and found that he had stretched out over most of the mattress. I gingerly turned over to face him. His eyes were closed, and his dark gold hair was more curl than wave in the dim firelight filtering in from the sitting room. I couldn’t help but smile at how peaceful and perfectly angelic he looked. 

“I do not know. This is the first time I’ve woken up in someone else’s bed outside of France. We may have to test your theory.” He cracked one eye and caught me smiling. He smiled back lazily and stretched, his long limbs filling more of my bed. He rolled to face me and draped an arm over my waist. “Did you sleep better?” 

I nodded mutely, thinking that it was the best night's sleep I’d had in years. He looked pleased, and checked his watch. “It is nearly time for breakfast. I shall go change and we can go down together.” It wasn’t a question, and he kissed me and was gone before I could object. So I got up, thinking it wouldn’t do me any favors to have him come back to me in bed. 

When he returned, I’d shed my tank top and running shorts for a set of blue robes, and he’d traded his slept-in ensemble for dark grey slacks and a cream sweater. His curls had been schooled back into waves, and he showed no outward signs of the long night we’d had. 

Breakfast was quiet despite the roar of the students chatter. I saw looks and whispers among some of them, but they weren’t looking at me. Their eyes were on Axios and Mathieu, on either side of me. 

“How many of them saw you drag him out last night?” I finally asked, my voice low, trying to look as if we were discussing nothing more interesting than the weather for this upcoming weekend’s quidditch match. 

“Only a handful but you know the rumor mill here,” Axios replied, his voice equally low. “But he still had the tongue-tie on him. You weren’t mentioned.”

“I may not have been, but they’re going to figure it out if you keep up this bodyguard routine.” I paused to stare down a couple fourth year Slytherins that were whispering and shooting far too many interested glances our way. “I told you, I can take care of myself.” The Slytherins were scurrying from the Hall as I spoke. 

“I know you can love, but until Minerva speaks to Harry, Matt, Neville, or I will be with you at all times.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you guys can do that Marta or Hannah or Aurora can’t do.” 

“I hate to break it to you, but image matters sometimes. None of you are exactly… intimidating.” 

I glared at him. “And since when do you call him Matt?!” Mathieu’s head snapped towards my voice. 

“Since I decided that if it’s not me, it might as well be him.” Axios met my eyes steadily, and I felt the blood drain from my face, and then come rushing back. 

“Oh, _you_ decided? What, you two had a nice heart-to-heart while dragging my ex out of the castle for threatening me?” I was struggling to keep my voice low, and my hands were shaking around my silverware. 

“Livvy that’s not what I meant—“

“Vivienne—“

I cut them both off with a wave of my hand. “No. I’m not going to be babysat. By either of you.” I slammed the silverware down, stalked away from the table, and ended up back in the trophy room, facing the Ravenclaw hourglass. I reached for the words, again struck by the parallel of my robes and the sapphires. I crossed my arms tightly, begging them internally to stop shaking. 

“Vivienne, do not be angry with him.” 

I whirled around, and glared at Mathieu. “Was that why you were still dressed last night? You were playing guard?” 

“Yes.” His answer came readily and evenly, his stormy blue eyes not leaving mine. “I know you are angry at Mr Wilson for coming here. But I want you safe, and if that means I stay outside your door every night, so be it.

I felt my lip tremble and I turned back around, glaring at the gemstones encased in glass. I heard the far door open, and the giggles of female students. 

“Out. Now.” Mathieu’s voice was commanding, firm.

“Yes Professor Dumont,” “Sorry Professor, “Yes sir,” came the chorus of answers from the girls, and the door closed again. 

“Vivienne…” He pleaded, his voice soft and close to my ear. 

I wiped the tears from my eyes and stayed still. 

“Axios told me. Threatened me, really. On our way back up last night. He just wants you to be safe. Taken care of… I think he has finally realized that I was willing to protect you just as much as he was.

“That’s not his choice.” My voice was brittle and it wavered. 

“No, it is not. But it is only because we care. Axios and I found common ground in keeping you safe. We care about you Vivienne, but you must allow us to keep you safe.” 

“It’s just a precaution.” Axios’ voice came from the doorway.

I spun around, my eyes burning. “Last time someone tried to protect me, my best friend ended up DEAD! I won’t let someone else I love die for me!” My voice was rising with each word, echoing around the stone and glass surfaces of the room. “I can’t,” I whispered, the tears falling freely now. 

Axios moved closer, until he was an arms length from me, his brown eyes wide and soft. “Livvy, love, listen to us. Please.” 

“I can’t let someone else get hurt protecting me.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “This is my fight, and my fight alone. I knew—“ My voice broke. “I knew what it meant when I did it.” 

“Vivienne, you are not alone.” Mathieu reached his hand out to me the same time Axios did, and I just stared at their outreached hands. 

“Then it’s on my terms.” It came out as a broken-hearted whisper, the defeat apparent in my voice. 

Axios and Mathieu shared a look before nodding, and I took both of their still-outstretched hands. 


	26. The Babysitters

December 15, 2006

I decided that as I wasn’t going to be allowed to be alone, I couldn’t very well pull any of them away from their classes. So I moved between their classes as inconspicuously as possible. Ten days later, all of our patience was wearing thin, and I was in Mathieu’s classroom for the day. It was the closest to the hospital wing should a student need me, and I could replenish my depleted pepper-up stores while there. Colds were ripping through the houses, and I could barely keep up. 

As I was working over a cauldron myself, the students didn’t ask any awkward questions, and I was left alone, save Mathieu’s fleeting glances through the haze of a dozen simmering potions. 

It was nearing the end of the day and I was getting increasingly frustrated at being cooped up in a space that wasn’t my own. I’d ruined a second batch of pepper-up potion because I couldn’t focus. 

“Miss Beaulieu?” 

I looked up from the shelves of potions ingredients I was scanning through, to find the anxious face of a young Hufflepuff.

“Yes Halley?” 

“I’m sorry, I know you’re busy. But I was wondering if I could come for a cup of tea with you?” The girl was clutching her potions book to her chest with white knuckles. The rest of her class were cleaning up and filing out. Mathieu was bending over a Ravenclaw’s cauldron, examining it closely. 

“Of course dear. Just a moment, alright?” 

She nodded, looking relieved, and I approached Mathieu carefully. He saw me coming, and moved to the blackboard a few feet away to feign rewriting a portion. 

“I’m going to take Halley to my office for a cup of tea.”

“You need someone with you,” he whispered as he surveyed the board, his back to the remaining students. 

“Bardolf will be there. And you’re here, right down the hall.”

“Bardolf can not defend you.”

“I’m perfectly able to defend myself. But if that isn’t enough, surely you think my chambers are secure. I can take her there.” 

He paused, deliberating. “Fine. But I will be there as quickly as I can.”

“Fine. But stay in the hall. Halley is worried about something and I don’t think she’ll talk with you there.”

I turned on my heel and collected Halley on my way out. “Just had to let him know I’d be back. And to tell him to leave my ingredients alone. I’m not as organized as he is and I think you know how much he values tidiness. ” 

Halley laughed, relaxing. “He is very tidy. He gets after us if we’re not.”

“He might ban me for good if he thought I was leaving a mess for him to clean up.” I turned left instead of right, and she paused. “It’s alright dear. I thought we’d go to my chambers. It’s much cozier, and there’s nobody around.”

She looked relieved, and followed me down the hall and into my sitting room. 

“Sit down, and I’ll get us some tea.” She set her book on the edge of my desk, and her bag next to it. She looked around with wide eyes. I summoned the teapot and brewed it with magic to speed up the process. I handed her a cup, and set a tin of biscuits on the coffee table. 

She took a small sip and smiled. “Thank you Miss Beaulieu.” 

“You can call me Viv if you’d like. I’m not one for a lot of formalities.” I made my point by tucking my legs under myself on the sofa and reaching for a biscuit. 

She grinned and relaxed even further. “What made you want to be a healer?” 

I took a sip and thought about it. “Well. My dad was a muggle doctor. I used to lay on his office floor and read his medical textbooks. And then he died the year after the battle here, in a car accident. I was taking my 5th year courses, preparing to take my OWLs and beginning to think about careers. I’d helped Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing before, and I knew I wanted to help people. Professor Flitwick thought I might be well suited to healing, and he was right. I don’t think I ever seriously considered anything else, really.” 

She was quiet for a while, and I left her to her thoughts. 

“I’m afraid I won’t find my place after Hogwarts,” she admitted after some time. “My parents are muggles. They don’t know anything about the wizarding world.”

“And you feel as if you’re caught between two worlds?” I smiled faintly, and she nodded. “I understand. I felt the same way. I still do, sometimes. I go home to see my mum and almost forget I can clean the dishes with a wave of my wand. And then I come back here and I forget my mum can’t just pop in for a visit whenever she’d like.” 

Halley nodded again, a forlorn look in her brown eyes. 

“But I’ve come to accept that I will always do some things the Muggle way. If it’s making tea or arranging my hair, some things just come more naturally without magic. And there are some things, like cleaning or traveling, that I can’t imagine going back to the Muggle ways. And all of those things are okay. There is a Muggle part of me, just as much as there is a witch part.”

The girl nodded again, and then asked, “Is Professor Dumont Muggle-born?”

I stopped and blinked. “I have no idea.” 

She sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry if that was rude. I just… I've noticed he does the same kind of things. Muggle things. He writes on the board himself, and if someone drops something, he always starts to clean it without magic.” 

I smiled, realizing she was right. “I’ve never asked him. You may be correct, though. You’re very observant.” 

She grinned. “My mum says I’m nosy. I think I like observant better.” 

I laughed. “Well, I suppose it depends on how you use your observational skills.” 

She looked at me shyly, still smiling. “Like if I used them to know that Professor Dumont fancies you?” 

I laughed again. “That would be nosy.” 

“I was right.” She grinned again. “But I won’t tell. So then that’s just an observation.” 

I shook my head. “We’ll keep it a secret between us.” 

She sat back, and asked, “Are you friends with Professor Fairview, too?” 

“I would consider myself to be friends with all the professors. Except maybe Professor Binns.” That made her laugh. 

“Professor Fairview talks a lot about how the war changed people. He says it made some people overcome prejudice and it made other people bitter, but it also changed how a lot of people see the world.”

She fidgeted in her seat. “He says it changed him. But he’s never told us how…”

I regarded her, and bit my cheek. “Professor Fairview is the most honorable man I know, and always has been. He’s been one of my dearest friends since my first year here. He’s never been prejudiced against Muggle-borns.” 

That seemed to answer her unasked question, but I went on. “All of the teachers here would fight to the death for our students. Many of them already have, Professor Fairview included.”

Her eyes went wide. “Do you mean he was here, for the…”

“For the Battle of Hogwarts, yes.” I set my now-empty teacup down. “And I know he doesn’t discuss it freely, even with me, and we’re old friends. So please don’t ask him about it. Just know that I trust every single teacher here with my life.”

She nodded. “Thank you for the tea Miss- I mean Viv.” She picked up her bag, and then asked, “Can I come back?” 

“Of course. Anytime.”

She rushed out the door, and I heard her squeak, “Sorry sir!” And her footsteps running down the hall. Mathieu stepped in before the door could close. He settled next to me on the sofa, and I curved my body into his. 

“Have a good talk?” 

I nodded. “She’s a sweet girl. She reminds me a lot of me, when I was her age. She’s afraid she won’t find a place in the wizarding world. She knew I’m Muggle-born, and hoped I could relate.”

He nodded, and I blurted, “Are you Muggle-born?” 

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Does it matter?” 

I felt my cheeks go pink. “No. It doesn’t. I just realized I don’t know anything about your family.”

He sighed. “I am actually a half-blood. My father comes from a long wizarding line. My mum was a muggle. My brother, sister and I were all born magical.” 

“Is the picture on your night stand your brother and sister?”

He nodded, but had a faraway look in his eyes. “My mum died not long after Andrew. When my mum died, my sister blamed magic for taking Andrew, and therefore mum. Sophie was always hard-headed like that.”

“Sophie’s your sister,” I reiterated, relief touching the edges of my voice. 

He glanced at me, questioning. 

I swallowed hard. “You called me Sophie. After your accident… And then you said she was far removed. What did you mean by that?”

His eyes clouded in pain and he drew away from me. He stood up quickly, and his voice was tight when he choked out, “Fairview is going to take you to dinner. I will see you tomorrow.” 

Before I could ask him to wait, he was slamming the door solidly behind him, and I was left bewildered at his reaction. 

~~~

Axios knocked on my door a while later. I opened the door with a scowl, but he just raised an eyebrow. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Oh shut up,” I spat. “It’s been almost two weeks and I’m sick of being babysat. Not to mention the bloody Slytherins that mucked up their potion and I swear to Merlin I can still smell it in my hair.” I sat down in a huff and he leaned against the door, arms crossed. 

“Blimey. Are you sure there’s not something else?” 

Curse him and his ability to see through me like a bloody window. “And Mathieu got all testy and stormed out. Oh and that was after I had to convince a student that you of all wizards have no prejudices against Muggle-borns. So it’s been a really bloody lovely day.”

His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly, but otherwise showed no reaction. I knew I was being petty, but I really just wanted to yell and scream. He seemed to understand that too, because he muttered a quick “muffilito” at the door, and threw his hands up. “Go.” 

So I ranted and screamed about how stupid Ben was, Mathieu’s mood swings, students that couldn’t brew a simple Scalp Solution, and how absolutely furious I was that somehow I’d gotten myself into the position that I had to be under constant guard. I’d blinked away tears while screaming about students fearing their professors prejudices, especially when it was someone like him that they feared in the first place. My voice was hoarse and my head ached by the time I was finished. 

I was begrudgingly impressed that Axios had taken it all in without a flinch or a word. When I sat quietly, he straightened from the door and took the blanket from the back of the sofa, and grabbed my hand. 

I looked around, surprised. “I don’t think I want to go to dinner.” My voice was raspy and he shook his head.

“Sorry love, but there’s no way in hell I’d take you to the Great Hall like this.” He tugged me down the hallway, and down two sets of stairs. “Almost there now,” he murmured as we passed his classrooms, office, and chambers. He came to a stop outside of an unused classroom, one I thought belonged to the Muggle studies department. 

“What—“ 

“Be patient for once in your life, Livvy. And trust me.”

He pushed the door open, and as my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I gasped. 

The room was empty, except for a large pile of cushions and pillows. The real magic was that the ceiling and walls had the same charm on it that the Great Hall had. It showed the night sky in all its glory, stretching around us like we were imbedded in the stars themselves. 

“I was helping Filius improve the charm. This one stays dark, and shows the stars above the cloud line… I kept it, because I don’t always get to go to the Astronomy Tower like we used to.” As he spoke, he dropped the blanket on the piles of cushions and pillows. “It’s not the exact same… but it’s warmer and it beats the snow and wind. Nobody knows it’s here, except Filius and me. And now you.” 

I couldn’t tear my eyes from the night sky sparkling around us. “But the students…” 

“Another one of Filius’ charms. Only those I’ve invited can come through the door. You’re the first, though. I’m glad it worked.” 

My eyes filled with tears but I barely noticed, twirling in small circles trying to drink it all in. 

“I had an awful time coming back here, after everything I saw in the war and as an Auror. I had awful nightmares and panic attacks sometimes. But this…” his voice softened. “This helped.” 

I looked over, and watched as he lay on the blanket, hands folded behind his head and just watched the sky. I stopped my dance routine and joined him in the nest of cushions. 

“Stay here.” It was a command I wasn’t about to disobey. I didn’t ever want to leave this room. I felt more comfortable now than I had in ages. It was pleasantly warm and comfortable, and it smelled nice. Like sea breezes, lemon and cinnamon; like Axios. I didn’t even look around when he exited the room, or when he returned some time later. I only looked over at him when he set a tray down between us, heavily laden with food. 

“Mincie was one of the house elves that I knew when I was here as a student. Now she’s always willing to bring me a snack.” I smiled, thinking of Lolly. He uncovered the tray and revealed a spread of all of my favorites. Lemon chicken pasta, a crisp green salad, fresh fruit, and chocolate eclairs. 

“You remembered.” I felt my eyes filling with tears and I silently cursed myself for being so touchy. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” 

We ate together, not really saying much. And then we laid back down, and his hand found mine. I held it tightly, and wrapped my other arm around his bicep, holding it close. And before I knew it, I was being set adrift by a full stomach and a safe feeling, leaving consciousness and worry behind. 

I awoke to Axios’ body curled around mine. At some point in the night, I’d found his bicep as a pillow, and he’d covered us with the blue and bronze blanket. After checking my watch and realizing it was barely four, I snuggled back down into the blanket and the warmth that radiated from the man. His arm tightened protectively against my waist, and I could feel his breath against my hair. My eyes couldn’t fight the comfort and peace I felt, and I was soon returned to a deep, dreamless sleep. 

A gentle jostling woke me the second time, and I opened my eyes to the wide expanse of Axios’ chest. I had one arm thrown over his body, and one leg twisted around his. 

“Morning, love.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I hummed happily, until my brain caught up. 

I sat up, pulling all my limbs in and swore. “We were out all night.”

“Yes, we were. I thought it was quite nice honestly.”

“Oh bloody hell what am I going to tell Mathieu? He’s going to be so worried”

“Well if he even noticed, just that you were with me. I see no reason to lie.” 

“Somehow I don’t feel like he’ll like that answer.”

“Livvy I’m a bloody Auror, you’re safer with me--”

“A bloody Auror that he’s been feuding with--”

“I’d say feuding is a bit strong--” 

“Axios! You know what I mean!” I crossed my arms and glared at him as he propped himself up on one elbow. His curly hair was wild, and he needed a shave, though I thought the dark stubble made his face look incredibly handsome, accentuating the strong features and square jaw. 

“Livvy, love. It’s fine. It’s barely even eight. We’ll get you back to your room and he’ll never even know.” He stretched lazily and got to his feet. “Come on then.”

I scrambled to my feet after him, taking the blanket with me. We got through the halls by some mercy without seeing anyone, until we reached the corridor off my chambers. 

“Halley, what are you doing here this early?” 

Her wide eyes flicked from me, holding the quilt, to Axios’ mussed hair, to the door she’d been knocking on. “I forgot my potions book, when I was here for tea… I came by last night but Professor Dumont said you weren’t here.” 

I unlocked the door with my wand, and she wordlessly took the book. She turned back, her eyes widening.

I felt the blood drain from my face when the door behind me opened. Mathieu’s eyes were icy, and he regarded the three of us carefully. “Halley, seeing as your book was unavailable you may have one extra day to complete your assignment on the use of growth potions in Herbology, I will inform Professor Longbottom.” His voice was measured, careful, and it sent chills down my spine. “Now return to your common room.” 

She looked at me, and I nodded. “Go ahead.” I waited until she disappeared around the corner before looking Mathieu in the eye.


	27. The Fallout

December 16, 2006

“Did you have a pleasant evening?” His voice was still even, and I had to fight not to step back into Axios. 

“We did, actually. Nice dinner under the stars.” Axios’ tone was light, and it just made Mathieu’s eyes darken.

“When you said you were taking her to dinner, I assumed you meant with the rest of the school. I did not see either of you there.” 

“Well somebody stormed off and left her upset. I wasn’t about to take her down in front of the entire school and have her cry there too.” Axios’ voice got louder and gained a sharp edge, daring Mathieu to keep going.

“I do not think she is as fragile as you seem to believe.” 

“And I don’t think--”

“And both of you can stop talking over my head like I’m not even here.” I stepped out from between them and glared at them both. From the corner of my eye. I saw movement at the end of the hall. “And can we not do this in the bloody hallway?” I marched into my rooms and waited for the men to follow. 

They did, Axios flinging it shut behind him. I cast a silencing charm, and turned to Mathieu. “Whatever you need to say, say it.” 

He was glaring daggers at Axios, but didn’t hold back. “You disappear all night with him and nobody knows where you are, after you have been threatened--”

“I’m a bloody Auror! He wouldn’t come anywhere near here while she’s with me--”

“While she is doing what with you? Because she will not do anything more than kiss me, but I suppose you--”

“Are you really that insecure, or do you think that lowly of Liv--”

“With your little pet name, calling her ‘love’--” 

“I call all of my friends ‘love” you stupid--”

“But she has me--”

“She will have me until the day I die, so don’t--”

Between their yells, I almost missed the knock on the door, but I opened it anyway, hoping it wasn’t another student.

“Viv--” Marta’s eyes got wide, and I yanked her in by the wrist.

“She’s brilliant! She can take care of her--”

“You are the one that wanted her under lock and--”

“SHUT IT,” Marta roared, silencing the two men, who’d again found themselves chest to chest with their wands at eachothers throats. She looked between the two disbelievingly, and shook her head violently, blond curls swinging. “What in Merlin’s name…” She looked at me, still holding the thick blanket. “Viv will you please tell me what the hell is going on here? I had a student nearly in tears about some joint potions-herbology assignment and yelling…”

“Halley.” I flung the blanket down and collapsed in the chair on top of it. “Axios came to escort me to dinner last night. I had a rough day and he rightfully thought better of me facing the entire school at dinner. So he ordered food from the kitchens and we fell asleep talking. Halley forgot her book when she was here for tea yesterday, and was here to witness the fallout.” I rubbed my temples, thinking I needed a bag to keep some remedies in while I wasn’t in the hospital wing. 

“Apparently these two have some unresolved tensions, and thought that my room was a suitable place for a duel.” 

Marta swore, looking between the two red-faced men. “Seriously? Her life may be in danger and you’re worried about who’s holding her bloody hand?

“Matt, mate. She’s been friends with Axios for as long as I’ve known her. Axios, dear. We know you fancy her but is now really the time?” Marta sat down on the sofa in a huff. “Both of you sit down before I get Minerva involved. And get a bloody grip.”

They both sat stiffly, Mathieu next to Marta and Axios in the other armchair. Marta summoned the teapot and made tea while the rest of us glared silently into corners of the room. 

“It’s too bloody early for this nonsense.” She jabbed her wand at the teacups and each came to hover in front of one of us.”I see what you meant about it being a terrible idea though,” she mumbled into her teacup, and I laughed humorlessly, a cold, sharp sound. 

“Well it’s all ending, right now.” Both men’s eyes shot to me, but I looked over them cooly. “We are friends, we’re colleagues, hell, you can be my bloody babysitters. But no more of this, whatever it is. I’m done. When I’m finished getting dressed, the only person in this room better be Marta. Marta can you send a patronus to Neville, please? I think I’ll be spending today in the greenhouses.” 

Marta nodded, and pointed her wand at the door. A silvery bird flew from the end of it and through the door. The two men just stared at me. 

“If it’s anyone other than Marta you’re going to need a healer and I sure as bloody hell won’t do a damn thing about it,” I warned again, my cool façade cracking as I slammed the door to my bedroom closed behind me. 

I stepped into the shower, and dissolved into tears. I should have known better. I did know better. The hot water did little to comfort me, and I got out quickly. I changed into burgundy robes, leaving my hair down and cracked the door to my sitting room, and heaved a sigh of relief at Marta’s solitary figure on the sofa.

“They’re gone. Neville will be here in a bit. Said he had a batch of baby mandrakes making a fuss.” Marta offered me a fresh cup of tea, patting the cushion next to her. 

I sat down, and stared into the cup miserably. 

“I told you it was a terrible idea.” 

~~~

Neville didn't have any classes as it was Saturday, and agreed to return to the hospital wing with me when he was finished so I could get some of my own work done. He was content to settle on my sofa and grade papers while I finished a backlog of paperwork, and administer about a dozen doses of pepper-up potion. Hannah wandered in around three, and kept shooting pitying glances at me. 

“How much did Marta tell you?” I rubbed at my temples, a headache coming on even though I’d taken a dose of headache tonic only an hour before.

“Well I know that Ben came, which explains why you’ve been off limits for two weeks. And then she just said Matt and Axios had it out, and you told them it was all over.” Hannah’s voice was soft, and Neville was determined not to appear as if he wasn’t listening. I heard Bardolf shift in his frame, and I knew he’d be listening too. 

So I started from the beginning, about Ben’s appalling practices as a healer, to how he treated me, to reporting him, to his threat, and finally to ordering them both from my rooms. Neville forgot that he wasn’t supposed to be listening halfway through and was leaning forward, just as engrossed as Hannah. Bardolf’s mouth was hanging open in shock. I was back to staring miserably into my teacup. 

“You don’t have much of a type, do you?” Bardolf cocked his head. “You’ve got the American arse, the emotionally unavailable Frenchman, and the overprotective Greek.” I couldn’t even muster up the energy to glare at him or deny what he said. 

Hannah just shook her head. “What a mess. I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t sleep with them, it would have been way worse. 

“I didn’t even know Matt has a sister.” Neville looked up. 

“Nev is that really all you got from that?” Hannah looked over exasperatedly.

“I just mean… Well. Honestly if he’s not going to tell you…” He bit his lip and pointed his wand at the door, adding a blocking spell to my silencing charm.

“I met him at St Mungo’s when his mum was dying. His brother had just died from an experimental potion going wrong… Matt didn’t have the antidote he needed, and he blames himself. Honestly, he’s either lucky he got there before he died at all, or really unlucky that he had to see Andrew die. Hard to say, really.

“Well his mum kind of just… Wasted away after that. None of the healers could fix it, or stop it. She was transferred to St Mungo’s from France because his father is kind of a big deal there, and they didn’t want the press all over it. I think they’re actually related to the Malfoys… But when his father married a muggle, they disowned him. He was fine, he’s a businessman and is independently quite wealthy. 

“Anyway. Matt was there all the time. He never left her side. His father was there every evening… But I never even heard of a sister or a Sophie. And that was for nearly six months, two years ago.” Neville rubbed his eyes, and I shook my head. 

“He never mentioned any of that. And we’ve been seeing each other for two months now. But I suppose that does explain him losing his mind the first day of classes…” 

Hannah stood up and went to the window. “And Axios’ girlfriend died in the battle.” 

My teacup shattered on the floor. 

“He was dating a girl from Gryffindor. Cynthia Pingree. She was fighting with him and Lupin, and... And Rowle hit her with a Killing Curse. Axios swears was meant for him… Axios hit him with a hex that threw him from the Astronomy tower. It killed him…” Hannah looked back at me, tears filling her eyes. “I swore I wouldn’t tell. I found him in hysterics in the Astronomy tower when I was filling in for Aurora last year. As far as I know, he hasn’t been back up there since.”

My mouth went dry. “He was up there with me. The day after Halloween.” Hannah’s face went white. 

My stomach twisted into knots. I felt as if I was going to vomit. I dropped my head into my hands and willed the bile to stay down. I watched the puddle of tea spread slowly across the stone floor, bits of broken china glowing white against the brown and grey.

“Merlin’s beard. Is someone else going to pop in with a tragic backstory for the American arse?” Bardolf mumbled. 

“Bardolf, go away before I go get the paint thinner I know Filch has in the second floor broom closet. And not a word of this. To ANYONE.” I didn’t bother to raise my head, but heard him shuffle from the frame. 

“Viv, it’s not your fault. Any of it.” Neville was speaking, but all I could hear was Mathieu’s soft voice the night of the party. “It’s not your fault.” 

“I shouldn’t have come back.” It was a broken whisper, barely audible. I shouldn’t have come back, but I had nowhere else to run. 

~~~

By some unusual stroke of luck, I received a letter from the Auror department the next morning stating that Ben was believed to have left the country, and I should be safe to carry out my business as usual. I’d immediately waved it in their faces, and told them to leave me alone. 

Neville and Mathieu had immediately fled, but Axios stayed where he was, leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed across his massive chest. 

At first I refused to acknowledge him, but I knew he was as stubborn as a mule, and wouldn’t leave until he’d done whatever it was he had set out to do. 

So I didn’t bother to look up from the chart note I writing, just asked, “What do you want?” 

He didn’t respond, so I kept writing, refusing to play into his game. And then he said softly, “Look at me.” I slammed my quill down, and looked up, fully intending to yell at him until he gave up and left. Instead, I met his eyes, and everything I’d been planning to say melted away. 

“I’m sorry, Li-- Viv.” I blinked, not quite comprehending his words. 

“I was being selfish and childish and foolish and a whole list of other things. I was so excited to have you here… To have a friend here. And I fucked it up.” He took a deep breath, shoving his hands into his pockets and went on. “If you want to be with Matt, that’s great. He’s a good enough guy. 

“That night I was just so mad he’d walked out on you in the state you were in. And then we fell asleep and I woke up thinking I didn’t have any clue the last time I slept like that. With or without a potion to help. Not since long before the war... And I wanted more. I wanted you to myself. So I went off running my mouth at him without thinking about you… I hurt you and I’m so sorry. You’re my best friend and I’m sorry.” 

I sat just as still as if I’d been hit with full body-bind jinx, and just blinked at him. “You idiot.” I finally whispered. I was out of my chair with my arms around his neck before he could hang his head. “You bloody idiot,” I was sobbing now. He stiffened when I lept on him, but relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. 

“Does this mean you forgive me?” 

I sniffled, and laughed. “Only if you promise never to stop yourself from calling me Livvy again.” 

He huffed a laugh in my hair. “I promise.” 

“Awww.” Bardolf cooed from his frame. “Does this mean you’re going to be less testy now?” I laughed and clung tighter to Axios. 

“I told you I wasn’t going anywhere. I meant it.” I nodded, and let go to wipe my eyes. And then I saw the group of second year Slytherins that had filed in, sniffling and sneezing, all watching with curious eyes. Oops. 

I gave them all doses of pepper-up and sent them on their way, ordering Axios to the sofa and telling him he wasn’t allowed to leave until I was through.

He watched the last one leave, and muttered, “It couldn’t have been the Hufflepuffs. Now the entire school will have us married by lunch.” 


	28. The Rumors

December 18, 2006

He was right, of course, and when I finally emerged for lunch, it was to a couple sixth year Gryffindors yelling, “Nice moves with Fairview,” and a couple of seventh year Slytherins whispering loudly, “Bets this will last longer than the holiday?” 

I thought about giving them all detention but decided it was not worth my time, and would probably make the rumors worse. I ducked into his office and found him lecturing a fourth year Ravenclaw that no, he couldn’t write a report on why having limited Hogsmead weekends was detrimental to their education, and no, he would not approve extra credit for every time the student corrected someone in class. 

“What if…” 

“Leave, Corbin, or it’s detention.” The Ravenclaw slunk from the room, an eyebrow raised at me in the doorway. Axios’ desk was a right mess, and his hair wasn’t far behind it. 

“Remind me why I thought teaching smart-arsed kids was a good idea.” He pushed a hand through his disheveled hair and pointed to the door with his wand. It shut solidly, and I tensed.

“I’m assuming you haven’t been in the corridors in the last hour or so…” 

He shook his head. “Just finished with the fourth year Ravenclaws and Slytherins. Why?” 

“Well you were right, and the entire school now thinks we’re an item. I made it down two flights of stairs and didn’t know if I could make it down the other four without hexing a student.” 

He just blinked at me, and began to laugh. 

“This isn’t funny! What is Minerva going to say?!” 

He laughed harder, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“Axios! You think the rumors flying about us last week were bad…” 

He straightened, and cleared his throat, a smile still playing at his lips. “Well I have something to take your mind off of it.”

I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms, but sat in the chair across from his desk. “Go ahead then.” 

“There’s a Ministry thing on New Years Eve that I have to make an appearance at. I’m supposed to take a plus one, and I was wondering if you’d agree to go with me.” He smiled innocently, and I shook my head. 

“Yes I’ll go with you. As friends.”

“Naturally.” He grinned. “As for the rumors… Minerva knows better than to listen to gossip. I’d be worried about Dumont if I were you.”

I gaped at him in horror. “I hadn’t thought of that!” 

He nodded towards the door. “After you.” 

I was out of my chair in a split second, whipping the door open, scaring a knot of first year Hufflepuffs into scattering. I rushed down the hall, and reached the staircase right as Aurora was passing. 

“It’s about time, you two. I thought you were going to dance around it all year!” 

I just stared at her. She smiled warmly, and turned, calling out for a fifth year Slytherin to come see her after lunch. 

“Well. Minerva just might listen to Aurora.” Axios said lightly. “Ready for lunch?” 

I smacked his arm and stalked off down the stairs. This was bad. This was really bad. Maybe if I got to Mathieu first… But I wasn’t supposed to talk to Mathieu. We were not a thing anymore. I wondered if we’d ever honestly been together in the first place. But this would not make things any easier…

“You’re picking at your sleeve again.” Axios murmured in my ear. I stopped, and kept walking without looking at him. 

We made it to the second floor when Filius popped out of a classroom with a sixth year Slytherin. “I’m so glad to see you together at last,” he squeaked happily. “I’ve been waiting since your fourth year here!” He grinned at me, and chuckled at my incredulous expression.

“No… We’re not…” I glanced at Axios, desperate for him to jump in and deny it, but he just shrugged at me. “You have to say something,” I hissed at him when we escaped our former Head of House. 

“I didn’t realize how many people were so set on us being together.” He cast his eyes around. “Do you think Neville and Hannah got this?” 

“I don’t care! They were actually together! We’re not!” 

He grinned. “But we could be.” 

“I should hex you for that.” His grin widened, and I seriously considered flinging a bat-bogey hex at him just to wipe the smile off his face. But there were students around, and I didn’t think Minerva would take “he was being a git” as a valid excuse.

So instead I pushed past him and stomped rather petulantly down the last staircase and into the Great Hall. I heard the whispers as I swept through the hall with Axios on my heels, and felt my face getting more and more red as I went. I should have carried a dose of the anti-blush potion with me, but it was too late now with all of the eyes currently on me. Including, I realized with a groan, those of Mathieu Dumont. 

I deliberately sat between Aurora and Neville, forcing Axios to take a seat next to Artimus and Horatio Eiberts, the Art professor. 

“So I hear congratulations are in order?” Neville asked delicately. “That was fast, considering this morning you looked ready to murder all three of us…”

“We. Are. Not. Together.” I ground out through gritted teeth. “Those bloody Slytherins spreading rumors…” 

“What about us?” Aurora turned from her roast turkey. 

“Your second years started the rumor that Axios and I are together. We most definitely are not dating.” My jaw was starting to ache from the force it took me to keep myself from screaming it across the hall. 

Aurora looked surprised. “I’m sorry. I just always thought you two would end up together, the way you acted.”

I just dropped my face into my hands. Just. Friends. The day after tomorrow was the last day of the term, and it would all blow over by the time they got back from holiday. I could make it less than forty-eight hours before sending them all away. 

If Mathieu’s eyes didn’t burn a hole through me first. 

~~~

I left lunch early, but not before pointing a sticking charm at Axios and his chair to ensure he stayed put. It was the correct decision, because I saw his confusion at being unable to stand as I left the hall. Not a bat-bogey, but enough for the time being. He’d figure it out soon enough, but I’d be back in my office before then. 

The halls were mostly empty, with the majority of students having lunch. In my hurry, I almost knocked over a small second year Hufflepuff. 

“Halley! Why aren’t you at lunch?” She was with a second year Slytherin, though he hadn’t been one of the ones I’d treated that morning. He had a round face and hazel eyes with dirty blond hair and freckles. 

“Barney didn’t want to sit with Slytherin, but didn’t think they’d like it if he sat with Hufflepuff. So I told him if he was skipping, I was too.” There was her Hufflepuff showing; loyal and kind to a fault. 

“Barney, was it?”

“Barnabus Denhold, ma’am.” His ears were pink, and I suspected he hadn’t expected his secret to be spilled to a staff member.

“Both of you, come along.” 

I started back up the stairs and heard Halley whisper, “You can trust her. I promise.”

They followed me back to my office, and I shut the door behind them. “Did either of you have breakfast?” Barney shifted uncomfortably, and Halley shook her head. 

“Lolly.” There was a “crack”, and the sweet house elf appeared at my feet. “Lolly can you please bring us a tray of lunch? Something hearty, if you can.” She nodded happily, and was gone with another ”crack.” “Both of you, please have a seat.” 

Halley scrambled onto one of the sofas, and Barney followed reluctantly. I summoned the boys file discreetly, and placed it on my desk for further review. I was settling into the armchair next to the sofa they’d chosen when there was a third “crack.” Lolly offered me the tray, and asked timidly if she could be if any more service. I looked it over and thanked her, and she disappeared with a final “crack.” I hovered the tray over to the duo, and summoned my teapot. 

Barney looked at the tray much as I’d been looking at my teacups for the past fortnight; in absolute misery. 

“Barney look! It’s your favorite stew. Eat some!” Halley was pressing a bowl into his hands, and he took it slowly. I watched as Halley pressed the spoon into his hands, and encouraged him to eat until he took the first bite. Once he was eating, she took some for herself and dug in happily. 

A few spoonfuls in, he muttered, “My stomach hurts,” and let the bowl rest in his lap. 

“Would you like a stomach-settling solution? Or some tea?” I kept my voice gentle, watching the boy carefully. 

“Yes please.” His voice was small, and he kept his eyes down. 

I retrieved the potion from the store cupboard, and paused by the door to hear Halley say, “She’s really nice. She’s never made me feel bad. Even when Professor Dumont was mad I was near her room. You can tell her anything, but she seems to figure out what you need anyway.” 

I suppressed a smile, and stepped back in the door, making sure my green robes rustled to announce my return. 

“Here you are, dear. It doesn’t taste bad, a bit like gingerbread, but if your stomach is too upset, it’s better to sip it than to try to swallow it all at once.” I held out the vial of ginger liquid. 

He took it, his fingers shaking, and took a small sip, then another. It was gone before my tea was, and he seemed to relax a bit. He finished his stew, and the roll that Halley passed him. 

Once I was satisfied that they’d both eaten their fill, I banished the tray back to the kitchens and sat back. The bell rung for their next class to begin, and he looked around in a panic. 

“What classes do you have next?” I directed the question to Halley, and she answered easily. 

“We both have charms, but we took our exams last week. Today Professor Flitwick was going to show us how to make it snow inside!” 

I raised my wand and whispered, “Nivalis!” Fluffy white snowflakes began to drift down, and Barney’s eyes brightened along with Halley’s. “You can go back to class, with a pass from me of course, or you can stay here for a while. It’s up to you.” 

Halley looked to Barney, and they both smiled. “Can we stay, Viv?”

I taught them the charm and the accompanying wand movement, and left them to practice while I went back to my desk and opened the boy’s file. In it, I found exactly what I’d expected. Muggleborn, an only child, several reports from the year before that indicated anxiety, possibly from bullying from his own house-mates. I read through it quickly, and jotted a note to Aurora, before tapping it with my wand, the spell folding it into a paper airplane and sending it straight to her. 

It was a useful little spell, and I smiled at the memory of Hazel teaching it to me after her first week interning at the Ministry. We’d written ridiculous notes to each other and sent them zooming around her parent’s dining room. I shook myself from the memory, and turned back to the students. 

Barney had achieved perfect snowflakes, while Halley was producing small pebbles of ice. She was getting frustrated, and I watched as Barney corrected her wand movement, and fluffy snowflakes began to fall from her wand as well. Soon they were both covered in the stuff, and giggling together. 

“I bet if you show Professor Flitwick, he’ll give you some house points.” I waved my wand, sending the snow flying in a mini-cyclone around the sitting area. 

They both stood and ran their hands through the spinning snowflakes. Barney even rewarded me with a wide smile, and I twisted my wand again, transfiguring the snowflakes into little while flowers. They stopped in awe of the simple magic tricks, wonder in their eyes. I let the flowers fall, and they grinned at each other. 

“Your next class is going to start soon, but if you go now, you can head to Charms first to give Professor Flitwick your excuses.” I held up two identical scrolls of parchment, tied with navy blue ribbon and sealed with silver wax. 

They reached for them, but I pulled them back. “But first you need to promise me that you’ll come back if you ever need anything; lunch, a talk, help with homework, or just a minute away.” 

They both nodded, and quiet gratitude shone from their eyes. I handed them their passes and brushed a few remaining petals from Barney’s hair before sending them on their way. 

I picked up my wand to vanish the flowers, but thought better of it. I stood in the middle of the room, and called up the rush of wind again. The tiny flowers flew around me, pulling my hair from its twist and I closed my eyes, remembering the day I’d found the spell in the library. Hazel and I had skipped Arithmancy to practice it on the grounds with fallen leaves until we were dizzy. That had been our fourth year. At the end of the year, Dumbledore’s broken body lay in the spot we’d danced in the spinning leaves, and we’d left wondering if we’d ever see each other again. 

I opened my eyes, and through the spinning wall of flowers, met stormy blue eyes. 


	29. The Regret

I let the spell fall, and the flowers fluttered to the floor around me. 

“I was showing some students… and I got caught up in memories.” My explanation was met with deaf ears, and he just stared. I twisted my hands around my wand, and I tried to even out my breathing. 

He tore his eyes from me, and took a step back. He looked much as he had the day he’d come to apologise for yelling at me after the students had been poisoned. He was uncomfortable and uncertain with himself. So I did the only logical thing and repeated my own actions. I made tea. 

He took the cup I offered with the same surprise, and I sat at my desk with a slightly softer version of the cool veneer I’d given him. 

“You…” He stopped. “I…” 

“Mathieu—“

“I am sorry. Again.” He heaved a sigh. “There is a much I should tell you, but it is not easy. I…” he swallowed hard. “I have many regrets.” 

I stirred my tea, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Vivienne… Neville told me that he spoke to you about my family. He said you deserved to know, if I was serious about you.”

My spoon stilled in my teacup, and my stomach tightened.    
  
“He was correct, and I wish to tell you about them, unless I’m too late.”

“Too late?” I looked up at him, confused.

“I have heard that you and Professor Fairview--”

“Oh for the love of Merlin, we are not dating!” I slammed my spoon on the desk. “Some students saw me give him a hug after he apologized for being a prat. That morning we fell asleep but NOTHING HAPPENED! He’s my best friend not my bloody lover.” I scowled at the door, arms crossed. 

Mathieu looked surprised at my outburst, but slowly nodded. “I understand, I think. And I am sorry for not listening to you before.” He shook his head. “I was stupid. I let my jealousy over his history and friendship with you get the best of me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was not so… hot-headed before Andrew died. It would seem his death, along with my mother’s has changed me more than I would like to admit.”

I dropped my arms, the spike of anger and indignation long gone. “How so?” 

He took a deep breath. “Neville has already told you of Andrew’s death. When my mother fell ill, my sister Sophie blamed magic. My mother was a muggle, and she insisted we live as muggles as children, to understand life without magic. When she died, Sophie rejected magic completely, and Father and I as an extension. Father refuses to speak of her. I attempted to contact her, even went to see her in Lyon. She would not speak to me.” 

My heart broke for him. He lost most of his family within the space of a year. 

“That is why I did not seek to teach at Beauxbatons. They knew me, my father, my family. Here, I can just be Professor Dumont. Or Mathieu.” He looked up at me, his blue-grey eyes tormented. “I did not want to be that man that allowed his brother and mother to die. I did not want to be the man whose sister turned her back on the wizarding world.” 

“Mathieu I’m so sorry.” I had no other words, nothing to ease the pain I knew had been ripping him to shreds inside. For the first time, I saw a tear fall slide down his cheek. I stood slowly, and moved around to face him. 

“Mathieu, your brother’s death wasn’t your fault any more than your mother’s was. Your sister made a choice. It’s not your fault.”

His resolve crumbled, and more tears fell from his eyes. I opened my arms, and he fell into me, silent sobs wracking his body. I wordlessly spelled my office door shut, and added a silencing spell. I let him cry into my shoulder as he had let me the night of the staff party. His hair was silky against my cheek, and I raked my fingers through it, wondering how long he’d been keeping this pain bottled up. 

His tears slowed and stopped, but I kept brushing through his golden hair. 

“I am sorry,” he rasped, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. “I do not know what came over me.” I released him, perching in the chair next to him. 

“Don’t be sorry. We all need it, sometimes. You were the one to tell me that sometimes it was just as good as a Draught of Peace, afterall.”

He snorted. “I did not mean for me. Now I have a headache, and you have spots on your robes.”

I laughed. “I have a potion for the headache and the spots are an occupational hazard. Nothing I’m not prepared for.”

He nodded, and I gave him a small smile. “I should be going. I have one more class this afternoon.” He went to stand, but I stopped him, going back around my desk. I handed him a potion for his headache and one to drop in his eyes. He swallowed one, and blinked away the other before handing the bottles back. 

“Thank you, Vivienne.” He moved towards the door, but I slipped in front of him, pressing my back to the door and keeping him from leaving. 

“Mathieu, I…” I took a breath, steeling myself. “I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want us to be over. Not like this... But if that’s not what you want, fine. We can go our separate ways. But.. Can we talk later? After dinner in my rooms?” It came out in a rush, my head spinning. After the last twenty-four hours it felt as if I could breathe again. “I missed you.” It sounded sad and pathetic, but it was true. 

“I missed you too, ma chérie.” His face was buried in my hair, and I squeezed him tighter. “But I am covering Aurora after dinner. She and Neville will both be out of the castle. Tomorrow, after dinner?” 

“Tomorrow then. Now go to class. We don’t need them coming here trying to find you.” I fumbled with the handle behind my back even as he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Go!” he finally let go, and I watched him leave the ward, a smile on my lips. 

“Is that all it takes with you? A few tears and all is well?” Bardolf scoffed. 

“Bardolf, kindly fuck off.” 

~~~

I had trouble concentrating through most of the next day, and by dinnertime I had a stack of chart notes to finish, but I gathered them in my arms and strode from the ward. I placed them on my desk in my rooms, before moving to the bathroom and removing the pins and charms that held my hair up. I shook it out, and marched down to dinner, feeling more confident than I had in some time.

“You look nice. It’s been a while since I’ve seen your hair down.”Axios let his eyes linger over the curls that tumbled over my shoulders. I blushed, thinking that I’d kept it up since Ben had complained my shoulder length hair got in the way. Now it was nearly to the middle of my back. 

“It is quite lovely,” Mathieu agreed, taking his seat to my left. My face warmed further, and I shook my head. 

“Flatterers, the both of you.” They grinned at me, and then Axios raised an eyebrow.

“Friends again, are we?” 

“It would appear that way,” Mathieu intoned lightly. He dragged his fingertips over the curve of my wrist until I shuddered lightly. 

Axios eyed me carefully, but didn’t say anything more than a simple, “Alright.” 

I watched more students whisper about my place next to Axios, but I left dinner with Mathieu, and they watched in interest as Axios took no note, speaking animatedly to Marta. 

My hands were shaking when we got to my rooms, and I was internally screaming at myself that this was a bad idea. Instead of sitting on the couch next to him, I chose the armchair across the coffee table, and tried to plaster a less-than-horrified look on my face.

I must’ve been doing a poor job of it, because he looked me over, and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you alright?” 

“I just… It’s been two months of whatever this is and I still don’t know much about your personal life.” My fingers found the seam of my left sleeve. “I didn't know about your family… I still don’t know your favorite sweets or why you decided that potions was your subject of choice. I don’t know your birthday or your favorite book.” I stopped, and bit my cheek, a flush warming my face and neck. 

He looked surprised. “Do these things matter?”

I nodded. “I want to know the little things so you can maybe trust me with the bigger things.”

“I love chocolate. My mother used to hide it from me, but I always seemed to find it as a child. I like the structure of potions. It is orderly, with reasonable, predictable outcomes when done correctly. My birthday is May 31. My favorite book is The Three Musketeers. It is what Sophie, Andrew, and I would call ourselves, though I have not read it since Andrew died.” His hand tightened on the back of the sofa, but his voice was steady. “My favorite memory is the summer I graduated Beauxbatons. We went on holiday to the seaside… Marseille. That is the photo beside my bed. I write a letter to my father at least once a week, but usually more.”

He kept going, giving me little details about his life and mind, until I got up, and tucked myself into his side on the sofa. He just slid his arm from the back of the sofa down around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder, finally allowing myself to relax. 

“I’m sorry if you didn’t want to share any of that. But I’m glad you did. Though I’d understand if you changed your mind about me.” I pulled back, watching his face. 

He raised an eyebrow, and pulled me back him. “I do not mind sharing with you. I believe I just forget that I do not need to be as guarded with you as I have been with others in the past. I have not changed my mind. I do not think anything could, at this point.”

I laid my head on his chest, watching the fireplace. A wave of relief swept through me when he pressed his cheek to the top of my head, followed by a sinking feeling in my stomach. 

“You’re not going to be here for the holidays, are you?” 

“No, I will be with my father in France.” He sounded remorseful, and that made my stomach sink further. 

“Good. You should be with him. I’m sure he misses you terribly.” I brought my hand up to his chest, tracing shapes around the familiar buttons. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow evening, before dinner, but I will be back for New Years. I am attending the Malfoy’s annual ball.” He brushed his fingers through my hair, and I sighed. 

“I’m glad you’re here tonight then. I would have been beside myself if...” 

He tightened his arm around me. “Do not worry about that now. All is well, ma chérie.”

I spied the stack of students charts on my desk, and wondered if he’d be put out if I finished them. Only one way to find out, I supposed. 

“I have some charting to finish… but will you stay? I mean if you don’t need to go…” I flushed, hoping that he didn’t hear the desperation in my voice. 

“How about I go…” I tried not to show my disappointment. “...and bring us a bottle of wine to enjoy while you finish?” My heart inexplicably sank, and I nodded. 

“That sounds wonderful.” I stayed where I was on the sofa, summoning the stack of charts. I opened the first, but couldn’t make myself focus. 

I was conflicted when he came back, handing me a glass of ruby liquid and settling back in the seat that was his in my mind. He pulled me against him, kissed my forehead, and opened a book. I was able to finish about half of the charts I’d had waiting with the first glass, and he refilled my glass without comment. He was on his third when I finally finished my work, and sent them back to my desk. They dropped with a satisfying “thunk,” and I drained my glass. 

“Thank you for letting me finish. It’s been hard to keep up the last little while, between everything going on and all these damn colds…” 

I looked up at him, intending to say something else, but it died in my throat. His blue-grey eyes lingered on my lips, sending a shot of heat into my stomach that had nothing to do with the alcohol. The book was tossed aside and his hands were on my waist and in my hair. He devoured my mouth, leaving me breathless and reaching for more, but at the same time I felt sick and unsure of myself. 

I slid my hands beneath the hem of his cashmere sweater, and when he didn’t stop me, I untucked his shirt, allowing my fingers to explore the expanse of skin that I’d helped to heal. It was smooth and unmarred by any scars, and I had to focus not to sigh in relief. I hadn’t seen his once-injured skin since Halloween, and there had been a part of me that worried that he hadn’t tried to sleep with me because I’d failed him. 

He moaned appreciatively into my mouth at my touch, sending my heart racing. The wine and his touch rushed to my head, making me dizzy; now the ill feeling was retreating, I just wanted more, but I stopped him anyway.

I saw a flicker of disappointment that was quickly covered. “I should go. I will bring you breakfast in the morning, no?” 

My stomach tightened, but I nodded anyway. “Thank you, Mathieu.” He smiled, kissing me chastely one last time before leaving.

I stood, and paced restlessly. Why couldn’t I let our relationship go any further? What was standing in my way? I changed into a set of soft cotton pajamas and slid into bed, thinking about the man in the next room over. He was lovely. Had Ben really damaged me so badly that I couldn’t allow myself to be cared for by another man?


	30. The Holidays

December 20, 2006

The strong smell of freshly-brewed coffee filled my nose, and I thought of Dad, sitting at the kitchen table in the weak early morning light. The mornings that we were up before Mum, the mornings that we would talk over breakfast and I thought he was going to save the world. 

My eyes fluttered open to weak morning sunlight, but there my vision stopped. I saw the blue and silver drapes, and remembered. Hogwarts. No more morning chats with Dad. But…

“Bonjour, ma chérie.” The silky voice behind me was accompanied by the mattress shifting, and a body pressing against my back. 

“Good morning,” I murmured, relaxing into his warmth. His arm snaked around my waist as his lips pressed against the soft skin beneath my ear, making me shudder. 

He chuckled, his breath hot on my skin. I turned toward him, and he shifted so I could lay against his chest, wrapping one of my legs around one of his, entwining our bodies. He dragged his fingertips down my arm and back up again, sending tremors down my limbs and spine. 

“I had breakfast brought up. Would you like some?” His lips were in my hair, and I was in no hurry to move from my place. 

“In a bit.” I closed my eyes again, breathing in the warm scent of his skin and soft woolen jumper.

“I have to go assist Neville with the departing students at nine thirty,” he switched from using his fingertips to the flat of his palm, and I groaned.

“What time is it now?” 

“Almost nine.” 

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up. “I don’t know the last time I slept that long.” He smiled lazily up at me from his back. 

“It would seem you needed it.” He reached up and traced the underside of my jaw with a finger, eliciting another shudder. His smile grew wider as he propped himself up on an elbow, and I leaned in to give him a quick kiss.

“What were you saying about breakfast?” 

~~~

The day went by rather quickly, and before I knew it, I was perched on the edge of Mathieu’s bed while he packed. I was trying my best to not be morose about it, he would only be gone for two weeks, after all. He caught me watching, and gave me a smile. 

He gave his wand one last flick, the top of his trunk shutting with an ominous finality. Something felt wrong, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. 

“Wait, before you lock it.” I took a small package from my pocket, and handed it to him. “Don’t open it until Christmas, though.” 

He turned the gift over in his hands, the silver paper glinting. He smiled, and swooped in for a kiss. “Thank you, ma chérie.” 

I laughed, bunching the side seams of his shirt in my hands. “You don’t even know what it is yet.” 

“It does not matter. I am just glad to have you for this Christmas…. Well, part of you.” He pressed another kiss to my lips, and a second to the top of my head. He let go, tucking the package carefully into his trunk before locking it, and sending it to Minerva’s office with a tap of his wand to await his departure. 

My throat tightened as he checked his watch, knowing it was time for him to go. 

“Would you come with me?” He sounded uncertain, and I shook my head sadly.

“I need to get back to the hospital wing. I should technically be there now.” He nodded, and spread his arms. I hugged him tightly and whispered, “Go. Have a good holiday with your dad. I’ll be here when you get back.” 

He looked doubtful, but kissed me hard, and was gone when I opened my eyes. I took a moment to steady myself, and slunk back to my office. 

Hannah was waiting, a pot of tea steaming on the coffee table. 

“Glad to see you made up with him, although I’m still sure it will be Axios you sleep with first.” 

I cast a silencing charm at the door and glared. “Afternoon to you, too. Who says we made up?” 

She rolled her eyes, pointing at the teapot. “You wouldn’t be so mopey at him leaving if you hadn’t. Filch’s cat could have told you as much.” 

My cheeks burned, but I sat and poured myself a cup of tea anyway. 

“Axios was saying you two had plans together.” She took a sip of her tea with a smug look on her face. 

“I’m not talking about this.” I shook my head, suppressing a smile.

“Oh come on, you can’t leave us hanging now!” Bardolf chuckled at his own bad pun. 

“I feel like there’s something keeping me from really being with Mathieu, and I don’t know what it is. Axios has to go to some stuffy Ministry function, and I told him I’d be his plus one. As friends.” I lifted my cup but stopped it halfway to my lips. “Why are you so sure it is going to be Axios?”

“You’ve been in love with him for as long as I’ve known you.” Hannah shrugged.

I sighed, and Bardolf huffed indignantly, but they let me be to finish yet another stack of charts that had built up. Hannah wandered off to find Neville before dinner, and I wondered if it would be bad form to just order meals until everyone was back. I decided that I’d rather not have Minerva demanding to know why I was acting like a vampire, so I resigned myself to go to dinner.

In the Great Hall, the massive long tables were gone, with a sprinkling of smaller round tables near the center of the room. Staff and students sat intermingled, and I spied an empty seat next to Aurora. She was especially chatty, and I listened to her tell myself and two Slytherins that her husband would be arriving tomorrow for the holidays. I excused myself as early as possible, and hid in my rooms.I slipped into bed early and lay awake for hours, convincing myself I was fine. The feeling of wrong-ness had just increased since he’d left, and my stomach was in knots. 

I didn’t get out of bed the next day. With only a handful of staff and students left, I reasoned if they really needed me, they could find me in bed. Otherwise, they could take care of it themselves. So I laid in bed with my back to the door, watching snow falling outside my window.

My pillow was still damp when the door opened behind me. Only one person wouldn’t have knocked, so I stayed where I was, and waiting for the lecture to begin. Instead of a lecture, there was just a groan of the bed springs and I felt my body shift as the mattress was weighed down. 

I rolled over, tears still stinging my eyes. 

Axios was laying on his back, hands folded behind his head. He stared unblinking at the ceiling, a slight frown on his lips. Dark circles under his eyes and the two day growth on his normally clean-shaven jaw made me look closer. His heavy eyebrows pulled together slightly, creasing his forehead and darkening his face. His nearly perfectly straight nose from our school days had been broken since then, probably in Quidditch or during his work as an Auror. It had been fixed, but it left a slight bump. His full lips were pressed into a thin line, his jaw set. 

He really was handsome, I admitted to myself. Nothing like Mathieu’s delicate bone structure, but in a distinctive masculine way. His face was a bit too wide, and his eyes just a bit too far apart, but it wasn’t bad; it was just him. His navy robes pulled slightly across his chest, highlighting the brute strength they were masking. He’d crossed his ankles, and was tracing small circles with the toe of one boot. 

He hummed as if asking a question, and I flicked my eyes up to his. He’d caught me looking. 

“What?” 

He didn’t answer, just turned his gaze back up to the ceiling. I dropped back into the pillows, and waited.

“Are you sure this is really what you want?” He sounded tired, like he’d been explaining the same concept to a student for an hour.

“To not get out of bed? Yeah, I’m sure.” And there was that long suffering sigh. The one I got my second year when he’d overheard me tell Hazel I wanted to transfer to Beauxbatons. The one I’d gotten my fourth year when I was panicking that Professor Slughorn had told me that Professor Snape had warned him about me. The exact same one that I’d gotten my sixth year when I returned from my father’s funeral and refused to leave the common room for three days. 

“If it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t be.” There it was. The venom in his voice, the anger that Mathieu had again left, and the knots in my stomach tightened. 

But that was just it, wasn’t it? The feeling I’d had that something was wrong. This was it. 

“You don’t have to stay here and pick up the pieces. It wasn’t your fault, but protecting me and keeping me from hurting isn’t going to change what happened to Cynthia.”

From where I was, all I could see of him was his boot tracing small circles, and when the words left my mouth, he stilled. 

“Don’t act like you know what happened.” His voice was colder than he’d ever used with me, but he didn’t leave like I expected. He didn’t even move. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know? You won’t talk about it. I wasn’t here because my blood status would have gotten me tossed to the dementors or killed. It’s not as if I had a choice, Axios.” It felt odd, having an argument with him without facing him, but I wasn’t about to sit up if he didn’t.

“I was looking for you the first night.” His voice was soft, and I pictured him with his eyes squeezed shut against the onslaught of memories. “Snape cornered me, before the feast. He asked me if I was looking for my girlfriend. I didn’t know what to say... Cynthia overheard, and pretended to be my girlfriend. She kissed my cheek and told me that she’d missed me over the summer, that we’d talk after the feast. Snape let me go, and after the feast she’d pulled me into that alcove on the first floor, and told me not to bring you up. 

“She’d overheard the Carrows gloating over what they were going to do to any muggle-borns that dared show their faces in their classes, or anyone affiliated with them. She said she liked me, and didn’t want to see me get caught up in it. So we kept up the act for a couple weeks. By Halloween, I actually really liked her. She helped fill the hole I felt without you. 

“With the Death Eaters running the school, I couldn’t risk sending you an owl or even talking about you. But Cynthia understood. We tried to keep our heads down, stay out of trouble, but we both wanted to fight against them if we had the chance. 

“When Harry showed up, and it was absolute chaos trying to fortify the castle and get the younger students out, she managed to find me. She said it was our chance to stand up for ourselves. So we followed Professor Lupin and his wife to the Astronomy tower. 

“Why it had to be there… I don’t know.” His voice was rough, like he was trying to hold back tears along with the memories. I didn’t interrupt him, and he cleared his throat.

“It was awful. Death Eaters everywhere, and I watched Lupin go down. His wife was holding her own, so I turned away to find Cynthia. She saw Rowle kill Lupin’s wife and he was coming after me next. She hit him with a hex and gave me time to turn back around. She lost her footing and her shield charm failed... “ He drew a ragged breath.

“And Rowle took advantage of it and killed her. I hit him with a stunner as he gloated over her body. I was told the fall killed him. I was so angry. She would have been fine if she hadn’t drawn his attention.” His voice broke, and I knew he was crying now.

“Cynthia may not have been my girlfriend, but she was my friend and she saved my life and I couldn’t save hers. I told myself the next year would be different. I said I’d tell you how I felt and I’d make right by you. 

“You came back, but first term… it was all so fresh. Everyone still believed that Cynthia and I had been together, so I let them think that. ‘Next term” I told myself. And then your dad died… And you needed me as a friend. So I let it go. That summer I got the offer to join the Aurors… I took it.”  
  
I remembered with a twinge of sadness the owl I’d gotten, that he wasn’t coming back. He’d managed to convince them to allow him to take his NEWTs on time, despite the wide majority opting to retake the year the Death Eaters had taken control, and had immediately been recruited. I’d missed him terribly for the two years I’d been there without him. 

“I thought that maybe time away would help. That I would find someone else that didn’t just see me as a friend. I had a few flings, but I didn’t ever get over you. Those times I saw you at St Mungos… It took everything I had to not tell you then and there. When I found out you were coming here, I thought it would be just as it had been, but somehow Dumont beat me to you.

“But he keeps breaking you, Livvy. I’ve tried to stand by, and let it happen. I know you can handle yourself, you’re a hell of a witch and a hell of a woman. But I can’t do it anymore.” He fell silent, and my tears fell faster. 

“He didn’t break me this time.” My voice cracked, and I buried my face into my pillow.

“Not this time, but he will.” Axios murmured. He didn’t sound angry or irritated, just… sad. He knew I was lying. 

I was about to reply when someone pounded on my door. 


	31. The Memories

December 21, 2006

I groaned. Someone had better be dying. 

The knock came again, louder. 

“What?!”

“That bloody plant got ahold of Neville, I need you!” Hannah’s voice was muffled through the door. 

“Coming!” I snatched my wand from the side table, scrambling from the bed and summoning a set of robes. I disappeared into the bathroom to dress, and heard a yelp from the door. 

“Sorry I thought she said come in!” Hannah obviously saw Axios in my bed and came to the wrong conclusion. 

“It's fine. She’s getting dressed.” Axios sounded vaguely amused, and I rolled my eyes. Of course he wasn’t going to correct her. 

I shook my head and opened the door again. 

“Hannah, focus. What bloody plant?”

“The Patterned Pincillious. He was pruning it and it got under his glove. He was able to get me a patronus before he passed out and I floo’d us to your office.”

“How long has it been?” I pushed past her and was already turning down the hallway. 

“Maybe 8 minutes?” Hannah was right on my heels, and we skidded into the hospital wing. Hannah had gotten him into a bed, and I didn’t stop to check on him. I went straight to the store room for the antidote. The large bottle in hand, I returned back to Neville’s bed. Sure enough, Neville’s left hand was turning grey, with a spider-web-like pattern starting to lace up his arm. 

I dropped to my knees, examining the hand closely for the three holes that would have been left by the plant’s angry clippings. I found them on the palm side of his thumb, and quickly uncorked the antidote, positioning the mouth of the bottle around the three puncture marks and sealing it to his skin with a tap of my wand. With it secure, I flipped it over, and waited. 

I had 19 minutes from time of injury, and I was already past the half-way mark. I watched as seafoam green bubbles began to form in the clear liquid, floating to the top and congealing; like oil on water. The antidote wasn’t so much of a cure as it was a way to remove the venom from the body. The potion withdrew it and captured it; the seafoam colored bubbles were the drops of venom it extracted. 

Hannah breathed a sigh of relief next to me as the grey webbing stopped progressing, and then began to retreat. I watched the clock nervously, hoping I’d soon enough. The steady stream of venomous bubbles was slowing, and I only had a minute left. As a last-ditch effort, I turned him with my wand and lifted his hand as high as I could from his body. The last of the grey disappeared what could have only been mere seconds before the damage would have been permanent. 

I sealed the bottle while it was still inverted to keep the venom from making contact with his skin, and released the seal from his skin. 

“When he wakes up, tell him he’s a bloody moron for me,” I complained, setting the bottle aside. I poked at his arm and wrist. The skin was still ice cold, but it would be for several weeks. All of the grey had disappeared though, and I summoned a dose of pepper-up potion. I tipped it down Neville’s throat, and stood. 

Half an hour on the cold stone floors had made my knees hurt and I knew the second I told her Neville was fine, Hannah would be grilling me about Axios. I didn’t fancy doing that in the middle of the ward. 

I retreated to my office and summoned my teapot. Hannah followed, and I sat down wearily in my favorite armchair. 

“He’s going to be fine.”

“Good. Now what the hell did I just walk in on? It’s two o’clock in the bloody afternoon!” 

“We were just talking. Axios was actually telling me what happened between him and Cynthia. Turns out they weren’t actually dating… She was covering him for me.” 

“Ok but he said you were getting dressed?” 

I rolled my eyes. “I hadn’t gotten up at all. I was changing from what I slept in to my robes. And if you cared to notice, he was still dressed. He had his bloody boots on in my bed.” 

She relaxed a bit, her mouth making an “oh.” I poured her a cup of tea and hovered it over to her. She took it, and took a sip. “So if he and Cynthia weren’t dating…” 

“They were friends, and he’s still torn up over her death… But he’s not pining over…  _ her.” _

She caught my meaning, and just blinked at me. 

“I told you I liked the Greek better,” Bardolf gloated from his frame. 

I glared at him. “Not a word of this!” 

“I know I know. You know where the paint thinner is.” He held his hands up in surrender. 

“Damn.” Hannah looked a little shell-shocked. “So… where does this leave you?” 

I sighed. “I have no bloody idea.” 

***

Neville woke up half an hour or so later, and I sent him back to his chambers with Hannah and several vials of pepper-up potion with instructions to take it if his body temperature got too low. 

“Blankets, tea, make sure the fire is stocked, just make sure you stay warm.” He’d nodded complicantly and based on Hannah’s expression, I figured he’d get the “you’re so bloody irresponsible” lecture from her, so I left them to it. I headed back to my rooms, anxious for a shower and maybe something to eat. 

“You’re still here.” I heard the shock in my own voice, and my cheeks felt warm. 

Axios looked up from a book, and raised an eyebrow. “Did you want me to leave?” 

“No! I just… Nevermind.” 

He stood up from where he’d been stretched out over the sofa, tossing the book aside, and looking me up and down. 

“Tell me.” 

I bit my cheek, but knew he’d keep asking until I told him. “Mathieu was always gone by the time I got back if I was called away. Ben too.” 

His expression darkened for a moment, but he seemed to push it away. “Do you prefer it that way?” His deep black eyes watched my face closely, and I fought the urge to look away. 

“No. I just figured that’s the way it would be.” I crossed my arms, and he stood, coming closer.

“I’m not going to leave unless you want me to, or I absolutely must.” He looked down at me, and I felt a warm rush of gratitude, along with an odd feeling of being thrown off balance. I didn’t want to be alone, I realized. 

“Have you eaten today?” I shook my head, and he hummed. “Why don’t you go take a shower and relax a bit, and I’ll have Mincie bring some food? I’ll keep the sofa warm.” He winked, and I just blinked. 

When was the last time someone had taken care of me like that? My mind flashed back to the night of the acromantula bite. It had been Axios. The time before that? It had been Mum, after Hazel died. 

“Livvy? Where did you go?” I blinked again, and Axios came back into focus. 

“I’m here. That sounds really nice.” I smiled weakly. “Thank you.” 

I showered more slowly than I usually did, shivering under the steaming water. It took a while before I relaxed, and could comb a cleansing and softening solution through my hair. I turned the water off, and heard him whistling from the sitting room. It made me smile as I dried my hair with a wave of my wand and changed into a soft periwinkle sweater and a grey wool skirt instead of my more traditional matching robe sets. 

Axios was stretched out on the sofa, a tray of light lunch fare on the coffee table. I sat down next to him, and he passed me a plate before taking his own. I still felt oddly perplexed at my discomfort that came with what had previously been an easy friendship, but I shoved the feeling aside and tried to enjoy our quiet afternoon. 

“I was going to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Would you like to come?” It was early evening, and I’d ended up sprawled over the sofa with my feet in his lap. I put the book that I’d been reading down, and considered his offer. 

“That sounds nice. I’d like to stop and see Florean Fortescue.” 

“Ice cream in this weather?” He laughed. “If you insist.” 

I smiled, his laugh sending pleasant little shock waves through my body, deepening my confusion at the shift in our relationship. “He was Hazel’s great uncle. I saw him before term, and he wanted me to stop by more often.”

Axios nodded thoughtfully, and I went back to my book. I started drifting off, and I was vaguely aware when he slid out from beneath me. I reached out, fear climbing in my throat.

“Shh, Livvy I’ve got you. It’s okay, love.” I forced my eyes open and in the dying firelight could make out his figure crouched next to the sofa. His eyes were wide, the firelight dancing in his dark irises. I immediately began to relax, and my eyes felt heavy again. 

“I was going to put you to bed. You’re exhausted, love.” 

I nodded, and tried to sit up. My limbs felt heavy and my mind sluggish, but with his help I sat upright. 

He disappeared for a moment, and returned from the direction of the bedroom. He pulled me to my feet and I leaned heavily on him until we reached the bed and he sat me on the edge. I noticed that the sheets had been pulled back, a warming charm applied. I sank down into the warmth, and let Axios pull the duvet over me. I could smell him on the sheets and I quickly fell back asleep. 

Sunlight was brightening the room when my eyes opened the next morning. I had slept soundly, and it took me a moment to realize what had happened the previous night. I decided I couldn’t very well tear through the castle looking like I did, so I showered and pulled on a set of silver robes before heading to his chambers. He wasn’t there, so I decided to wait for him. I was looking over a stack of books on his mantle when I heard the door open. 

“Good morning love! I’m surprised you’re up so early.” Axios grinned from where he was in the doorway. He was in a t-shirt and athletic shorts again, but based on his still-wet trainers it looked like he’d just come back from a run outside. He dropped a duffel bag by the door and came over to where I was standing in front of his fireplace.

“I was hoping I’d be back before you woke up. You were out cold last night.” He gave me a quick squeeze before retreating, settling in an armchair to unlace his shoes. 

“I don’t remember much after you put me to bed,” I admitted. 

He nodded. “Good. I was a little worried about leaving, but you seemed pretty content.” 

I gave him a shy smile. “I’m assuming you’re planning on showering before we go to Diagon Alley. So why don’t you do that, and I’ll order us some breakfast?” I inclined my head to the bathroom and tried not to picture him in said shower. 

He grinned. “You’re a dream, Livvy. I’ll be quick.” He summoned his bag from by the door, and I shut the door as I turned back to the stack of books. Lolly was all too eager to bring breakfast, and I started a pot of tea. Once again, I could hear his whistling, and I smiled, thinking back to my fourth year. 

“ _ Hazel shh! He’ll hear you!” I poked her in the ribs. We were sitting in the Quidditch stands watching a pick-up game of quidditch before the season started. Her brother Dan was a seventh year, and played chaser for Slytherin. Slytherin and Ravenclaw teamed up against Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. He’d invited us along to watch, but she’d only had eyes for Axios.  _

_ “So what if he does? I’ll just tell him it was you. He’d be thrilled!” She giggled at my embarrassment.  _

_ “He doesn’t like me like that. We’re just friends!”  _

_ “Yeah and I’m a three headed dragon named Wendy.” She looked at me pointedly when Axios waved at us. “See?!”  _

_ “That doesn’t mean anything.” _

_ “It should. You guys would be so cute together!”  _

_ “I’m going to hide your charms homework for the next month if you don’t stop!” She let it go and turned to the game, a sly smile on her face.  _

_ We’d spent the game cheering at the top of our lungs, giggling incessantly, and afterwards met the team on the pitch. Dan had been scowling at our giggles and cheers the whole time, but seemed pleased that we’d come anyway. Axios had sauntered over whistling, his beaters bat thrown over a shoulder. _

_ “You two are idiots,” he grinned at us. _

“What’s so funny?” Axios took the cup I offered and perched on the cushion next to me. He changed into a set of black robes, and he looked quite nice, his hair falling in glossy black curls. 

“Do you remember that pick up quidditch game your fifth year that Hazel and I came to watch?”

“You mean the one that Slytherin and us crushed Hufflepuff and Gryffindor?” 

“Of course that’s all you remember,” I laughed.

“No I remember a certain red-head in the stands cheering for us and it sure as hell wasn't Ginny Weasley.” My cheeks went pink, and he laughed. “But I do recall she did that every time I waved, too”

“Hazel was teasing me about you. Then you called us idiots after the game and we laughed about it for months.” I shook my head. “I wish she was here.” 

He gave me a sad smile. “Me too.” 

***

Breakfast was a quick affair, and soon we were off. We opted to floo to the Leaky Cauldron to avoid the walk to Hogsmead to apparate. 

We took a moment to clean the soot from our cloaks and robes, and I caught him staring. I wore a thick navy cloak over my silver robes, and he just swallowed hard and looked away. 

I took the opportunity to ask him if he was planning on channeling Professor Snape in his all-black ensemble more often, because he did it better than our old potions master. “Better hair,” I whispered, before snatching one of his gloves and dashing into the alley. 

I was still laughing at his half-offended, half-proud expression when he caught up and swung me around, his hands locked across my stomach. A couple older witches twittered at our juvenile display and a lone man watched with thinly veiled interest, but neither of us cared. The anxious feeling I’d had since my night with Mathieu seemed to fade with Axios’ presence. We spent some time at Flourish and Blotts, looking around at various books. He caught sight of an old copy of “Magical Me” by one Gilderoy Lockhart and had me in stitches telling me about his first Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. 

I ended up buying a book by an up-and-coming charms master (Simply Charmed, by Glinda Morenelli) and he’d picked up one on curse breaking (Curses be Damned and Other Ways The Ancients Screwed Us Over, by Charles Swender). They graciously offered to send our purchases directly to the castle, and we trotted back into the snow. 

We split at the ice cream parlour, as I didn’t want to go to Quality Quidditch supplies and he thought it might be better for me to see Mr Fortescue alone. 

The tiny bell jingled to announce my arrival, and found it to be unsurprisingly empty.

“Miss Beaulieu, what a pleasant surprise.” Mr Fortescue melted from the shadows and smiled warmly. 

“Mr Fortescue!” I jumped at his sudden appearance. “Please call me Vivienne.”

“My apologies, child.” He gestured to a stool at the bar. I took it, watching as he waved his wand. Items began to move around behind him, but he turned his attention to me. “Do tell me how your term went.” 

I dove into how much I enjoyed the students, and how much trouble they got into consistently. He’d laughed with me and partway through he’d set a big mug of hot chocolate down for us both. 

“Are you finding that Hogwarts is holding the key to your peace?”

“Honestly it’s brought back so many memories of Hazel, and I’ve been so confused. I really like the new potions master. And it’s nice to have Axios again…”

“Memories can be quite precious. Happier times are the basis for a patronus, are they not? But my dear, do not be enamored with the idea that it is anyone other than yourself that will bring you happiness. If a vase breaks, you may need extra hands to hold it together for a time, but it doesn’t make it whole.”

I nodded, sipping the hot chocolate slowly. 

His blue eyes had twinkled knowingly. “Though it may help to have someone there to assist in picking up the pieces.”

The delicate bell tinkled, and Axios joined me at the bar. 

“Mr Fortescue, nice to see you.”

“Young Mr Fairview. How is your father?”

They chatted for a moment, and I thought over what he’d said. Memories stung but just that morning I’d been laughing, hadn’t I? And I used another memory to bring joy to Halley and Barney. 

“Livvy, are you ready to go?” Axios was looking at me as if it wasn’t the first time he was asking. 

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry.” I looked up, feeling guilty. “Thank you, Mr Fortescue. For everything.” 

He smiled gently. “I never had a daughter, but if I had, I like to think she’d be much like you. Come by or send an owl whenever you’d like, Vivienne.” 

I had to blink away tears at the realization that it had felt like talking to my father over his morning coffee again. I nodded, and looked back as Axios’ firm hand on my back lead me from the small shop. Mr Fortescue gave me that knowing smile and a wave. 

Making our way down the alley, I was a bit more reserved than I had been, and Axios left me to my thoughts for a while. I was watching the people around us more carefully, but I couldn’t pin down the source of my discomfort. We browsed through a few more shops, and I found myself going back to his words over and over. “Memories are precious… It doesn’t make it whole… She’d be much like you.” 

Axios and I were peering through a window, and a flash of silver crossed my vision. Someone’s patronus, delivering a message, probably. 

“I don’t know why we don’t do that more at Hogwarts. The castle is so bloody big, it’s a miracle you can find any of us sometimes. Take Aurora for example. Her chambers are in the dungeons but her classroom is at the top of the Astronomy Tower and her office on the fifth floor. It’s mental trying to track her down…”

“I can’t produce a patronus anymore.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. It had been one of my closely guarded secrets and now Axios was blinking rapidly, trying to comprehend what I’d said.

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. His hand reached for mine, and the words poured out. “Maybe it’s more accurate to say I never could. I didn’t learn until my dad died. I could only ever get a non-corporeal form, like a shield… Until Hazel died. I can’t even get mist anymore.” My face burned in shame, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at Axios. 

He held my hand as we stared at the shop window. The snowflakes fell around us and groups of shoppers ebbed and flowed like a stream, but Axios was my rock as the pain and shame threatened to pull me under. I held on to him, and felt as if I might make it if I didn’t let go. 

“Let’s go have tea.” He pulled me into a small cafe tucked down a side alley not far from Madam Malkin’s. We sat down in a small booth, and he ordered us a pot of tea. He set the menu aside, and pulled mine from my hands. 

“Livvy look at me.” My face burned, but I looked up. His inky eyes were predictably soft, but didn’t hold the pity I’d feared. “Do you know how many witches and wizards can’t make them at all? And after what we’ve been through the last ten years it’s a miracle that any of us can make one. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

“It just bothers me. That I can’t make it work. And I don’t know why.” I picked at a chipped spot on the table with my fingernail, irritated now. 

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right memory. Or you haven’t made it yet.” He shrugged. 

“What memory do you use?” I immediately regretted my words. “Don’t answer that. It’s personal.” 

He smiled easily. “It’s alright. I actually use two, depending on the day and how strong I need it.” 

I looked up, surprised. I’d never thought of that. 

“The first is simpler, it gets the job done but it’s not as powerful. The summer before I joined the Aurors we went to Greece, and my dad actually went with us. We were all out on my grandfathers boat, and someone turned on some music, and we were all drinking and laughing. My gran had a bit too much to drink and was very loudly telling my aunt that she didn’t actually mind that mum married a Brit.” He grinned. “Dad was shocked. We all still laugh our arses off when it gets brought up. Gran gets so mad.” 

I smiled, and somewhere in the back of my mind wondered if I’d ever meet his firecracker of a grandmother. 

“And the other…” his grin faded to a shy smile. 

I leaned forward, openly curious. 

“The night we went back to Hogwarts, the fall after the war.” 

My mind flashed back to that September day. The train ride had been quiet, most students staying in their compartment trying to come to terms with returning to the castle. Hazel and I had found each other at Kings Cross and sat with a couple of seventh year Ravenclaws. The castle’s exterior had been reconstructed during the summer, the whole of the wizarding world coming together to repair the home they’d all once shared. 

_ “Do you think everyone has actually come back?” I whispered to her as the carriage pulled up the grand front doors.  _

_ “Only one way to find out. Let’s go!” Hazel took the steps two at a time, and the doors swung open. The entrance hall looked the same. We turned into the great hall and it similarly looked just as I remembered it. Professor McGonagall sat proudly at the high table, most of the professors surrounding her the same.  _

_ The students trickled in a bit more slowly than usual, but the hall filled. I was watching the door like a hawk, and watched as occasionally someone from the various tables would jump up and hug a student that entered. It didn’t matter which house or year, it just seemed like everyone was happy to see everyone else.  _

_ And then Axios walked through the door. He’d filled out over the last year, his chest broader and his hair shorter. He looked older, even with his hands shoved in his pockets, a vague tired look around his eyes. But those onyx eyes had lit up as I’d sprinted down the hall towards him.  _

_ “Livvy, you came back!”  _

“You came back.” The bottomless eyes of the man across the table from me were even older, even more tired. But they still had the same joy as they had that night. He reached up and brushed a tear from my cheek, and I brushed the others away, embarrassed. 

“I didn’t think you’d remember that.” 

“I never want to forget it. You basically rugby tackled me, and then got after me because my tie wasn’t straight.” He laughed, and I sniffled. “Seeing you… Whole and safe. Your hair was all over the place. It was so long back then.” 

A waitress appeared at his elbow, and he ordered pastries for us both. I wasn’t listening, thinking in awe that I was the memory behind his patronus. No wonder he hated Mathieu, and Ben. But now… What now? I was with Mathieu. The knots in my stomach returned at the thought. 


	32. The Snowballs

December 22, 2006

We were in the stationary shop when a blonde witch threw herself at Axios with a loud, “It’s been aaaages since we’ve seen you!” 

I stepped back, feeling a little overwhelmed between her loud voice and her copious amounts of perfume. He grinned, giving her a quick hug.

“Natalie. It’s good to see you again.” 

The blonde gave him a big smile, looking him up and down, a little too appreciatively if I was going to be honest. I stopped myself; it wasn’t any of my business. 

Axios gestured to me. “Natalie, this is Vivienne Beaulieu. She’s our new matron up at Hogwarts. Livvy, this is Natalie Richards. We work together at the Ministry on occasion.” 

I smiled and offered my hand. “Nice to meet you.” 

She took it, turning a critical eye to me. “I heard there was a new healer up there causing trouble. Nice to put a face to the name.” Heat bloomed across my face, and Axios cleared his throat. “Do calm down Fairview. We all know the ones worth making a fuss over are the ones we want to know.” She smiled conspiratorial at me, and I found myself warming to the woman, despite myself. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute though? There’s this case I’d love your input on.” I took that as my cue, and excused myself to look over the stationary sets on the other side of the shop. I felt uncomfortable and oddly exposed without Axios’ solid presence at my side, and my stomach tightened when I felt the prickle of eyes on my back. 

I glanced up from a set to see Axios sporting a look halfway between fury and worry, but Natalie grabbed his arm, and I didn’t fancy getting in the middle of that, so I stayed put. I was scanning over a wall full of sealing wax sticks in various colors when Axios reappeared at my elbow. 

“Everything ok? It looked a little heated over there for a minute,” I observed, keeping my tone light and my eyes on the wax in front of me. I tried to push away the feeling of discomfort that I still felt.

“Oh it's fine. Just the Ministry, that's all. Are you ready to go back?” He was trying to appear casual as he looked around the shop, but I knew he was carefully examining every face. I still hadn’t found one that explained the unnerving feeling.

We returned to the castle in time for an early dinner. This time we apparated to Hogsmead, and we walked in the Great Hall with snow still speckling our cloaks. Axios and I joined a seventh year Gryffindor girl and two third year Hufflepuff boys at one of the small round tables.

“Arnold, Finn, Lucy.” Axios inclined his head to them. They’d nodded their greetings, and the two boys went back to their conversation about who to recruit for a snowball fight after dinner. 

“Do you think Scott would come?” The dark haired boy in the middle elbowed the girl. “You’re coming, right Luc?” 

She shoved the boy towards the sandy-haired boy next to him. Siblings, then. “I’ll come if you manage to get more than two people, loser.”

I saw Axios grin, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Finn, what would you say to us joining in?” 

The dark haired boy grinned, and I choked on my cider. 

“Really Professor Fairview?” Finn elbowed his sister again. “There! Two more! You have to come now!” 

She rolled her eyes. “So you’re up to five. Still a lame snowball fight.” 

“Oi, Hannah! You and Neville want to join a snowball fight?” Axios hollered across the hall. 

“Nope! Neville’s out!” I glared at him. 

“But I’ll come!” Hannah called back, and the students and staff around the hall started talking louder. 

“Snowball fight?” “Can we come?” “Against the professors?” “Are they going to take points if we win?” “Nah they wouldn’t do that.” “I bet you a galleon you can’t get Professor Fairview!” 

“Arnie this is going to be the best snowball fight ever.” Finn turned excitedly to the other boy. 

“Are you sure this a good idea?” I looked around with wide eyes. Filius appeared to be making a bet with Aurora, and her husband was drawing out what looked to be a playbook. 

Axios laughed, and stood up. He clapped his hands and stood up. The room quieted. “Ok. Snowball fight on the quidditch pitch in an hour!” 

The students cheered and there was a flurry of movement. Several students dashed from the hall, and others shuffled tables. Axios sat down to finish eating and I just stared. 

“What’s Christmas time without a good snowball fight?” He mumbled through a mouthful of food and I just dropped my face into my hands. 

“You’re gonna kill me.” 

“Aw, are you afraid of a few snowballs? I’ll protect you,” he teased. 

I could feel my cheeks go pink, and then to red when I realized that Lucy was watching our exchange. 

“Did you guys know each other before this year?” She cocked her head, looking intently between us. 

“We were in Ravenclaw together when we were students.” My face was on fire. 

“And you dated then too?” She had a dreamy look in her eyes like she was imagining some great romance. 

“No we were just friends.”

“So it’s like you came back and found romance!”

“No!” My face burned and Axios was snickering into his shepherds pie. “Axios stop it!” 

He pulled himself together and said with a straight face, “We’re just friends, Lucy.” 

The Gryffindor’s face fell, but she shrugged. “I knew it was too good to be true. Nothing like that ever actually happens.” 

I suppressed a smile, and toyed with the vegetables on my plate. She left, pulling her brother and his friend with her.

“Maybe we should go to the kitchens… We can come back and have some hot chocolate and pudding after the fight.” 

“Good idea, lets go now!” He practically dragged me from my chair into the corridor. We made it to the basement corridor when footsteps echoed down the hall behind us and I ducked into a little alcove. Axios followed me, an eyebrow raised.

“I saw them come down this way.”

“They’re probably making out somewhere, I dunno if we want to find them!”

“They said they weren’t dating!”

“Kinda like you said you finished Fairview’s essay on shield charms? Didn’t you hear what the Slytherins saw?!”

It was the two Hufflepuff boys that had started the snowball fight plan. Finn and Arnold. 

Axios got a devilish glint in his eyes, and pressed a finger to his lips before slipping out of the alcove. I performed a tricky little charm I’d learned at St Mungo’s to allow you to look out without seeing in, much like a muggle two-way mirror. 

I watched in amusement as Axios leaned casually against the wall, obscured by a large statue, just in time for the two boys to pass by. 

“Not a fan of my essays, Finn?” 

The two boys squealed, flinging themselves backwards. I had to press my hand to my mouth to keep my giggle contained. 

“No Professor Fairview! I mean, I’m sorry sir!” The boy gasped, looking a little pale. 

“And Arnold, I expected better of you, gossiping about your professors.” Axios’ stern expression had the boy fidgeting. 

“Technically Miss Beaulieu isn’t a professor, sir.” He looked shocked at himself and murmured, “sorry sir.” 

“Go on, both of you. Get ready to be crushed in this snowball fight.” 

The boys perked up, and scrambled down the hall towards their common room. I waited until they were gone before dropping the charm and joining Axios in the corridor, giggling.

“Cheeky little things, aren’t they?” I smirked at Axios’ expression, his eyebrows drawn together. I reached up and brushed my thumb up between his brows. “You’re going to give yourself wrinkles,” I teased. 

His face relaxed, but he still looked worried. 

“Axios?” His eyes met mine, and he shook his head. 

“Let’s go talk to the kitchens so we can get going.” 

Half an hour later we were picking our way through the snow and down to the quidditch pitch. We met in the middle of the flat field and decided that it would be students versus staff, with magic allowed. There were more students, but the staff was more magically inclined, so it evened out. Neville volunteered to referee because I wouldn’t allow him to stay in the snow. 

So with him firmly seated out of the snow with a large quilt and several warming charms, we separated and began to prepare. Filius started making copious piles of snowballs, and Aurora, Hannah, and I began with fortifications. Axios and Aurora’s husband Eric were on their knees in the back discussing strategy. 

Septima and handful of other staff members shuffled around making snowballs and building up the snow walls around us. Peeking over towards the students, I could see a few of the older students teaching the younger ones spells to form the snowballs and fling them. Lucy was showing the two Hufflepuff boys how to block snowballs with their wands.

“One minute until game time!” Neville’s voice was magically amplified, and it echoed around the stadium. 

“Ok gather ’round!” Axios and Eric had grins on and both were about to start bouncing. We all leaned in and they started a rather convoluted explanation that ended in “so basically we’re going to win by sheer volume of snowballs.” 

We all took positions and Neville’s voice came across the field. “Ready, set… SNOW!” 

Snowballs immediately went flying from both sides. Some exploded overhead, some flew wide, and precious few met their marks. One of those hit Aurora in the shoulder, and threw her off balance; my attempt at catching her ended in us both on the ground in a heap. 

We stumbled to our feet in time to see Filius go flying, taking Hannah down with him, and then a war cry sounded from the students. They swarmed from around the wall of snow they constructed, and surged towards us. It was clear we hadn’t considered that, because most of us froze before sending more snowballs towards the kids sprinting across the space. 

“Nevalis Maximus!” I pointed my wand above the heads of the charging students, and they were enveloped in a blizzard. I grabbed Axios’ arm and charged down the left side of the field, while Aurora and Eric charged down the right, flanking them. I dropped the spell to shouts of confusion when they realized they’d been surrounded. 

Neville called it in favor of the staff, to the displeasure of the students.

“Okay okay okay! Hot drinks and pudding in the Great Hall!” Axios didn’t need the voice amplifying charm, but he did get a few leftover snowballs to the face. He wiped the snow from his face, scowling. “Last one to the Hall gets detention,” he growled at them. 

The students shrieked and dashed from the stadium, leaving just the staff. “That was way more effective than I expected,” he laughed. “But if we want any pudding we should probably go too.” There was a round of laughter from the staff, and we followed the mass of students. 

Axios held me back, and slipped an arm around my shoulders. “That was fun,” he said pleasantly. 

I slid my own arm behind his back and smiled up at him. Snowflakes speckled his dark hair, and his cheeks were pink from cold. He looked down at me with the same worried expression from earlier, and I had a feeling I was going to find out why sooner than later. 


	33. The Ministry

We trailed into the Great Hall, the tables once again filled. We again took our seats with Arnold, Finn, and his sister Lucy. 

“That was epic!” 

“Did you see Arnie get hit by Professor Sinastra?” 

“I knocked Professor Eiberts over!” 

We watched as they played musical chairs to discuss their exploits of the staff. I was content to sit back and watch while I sipped my hot chocolate. Axios wandered off and was laughing with Aurora, when Hannah dropped into his vacated seat. 

“It looks like you’ve had a good day.” Her tone was nonchalant, but I knew she saw something. 

“It was. Professor Fairview and I went to Diagon Alley for a few hours. He had a few last minute gifts to buy, and wanted some company.” Lucy was attempting to look as if she wasn’t listening, but she was hanging on every word. 

“You got a rather early start then. I’m thinking Neville may need another dose of pepper-up after being out in the cold with his injury. Can I trouble you for some before you go to bed?”

“Of course. We can go now, if you’d like.” 

She accepted and we’d left the prying eyes and ears of the students in the hall. 

“Damn that Gryffindor was trying so damn hard to get you on something!” Hannah had noticed too, then. 

“And that was after Axios and I both told her we weren’t together. She seemed so put out about it.” We climbed the stairs quickly, and ended up in my office with a silencing charm on the door. 

“So did you sleep with him?!”

“Hannah! Honestly you have no—“

“You were in bed with him, it’s not a stretch…” 

“Fine. But no, we haven’t jumped in bed. In fact he put me to bed last night and slept in his own rooms like a gentleman last night.”

“So I saw him with an overnight bag because…”

“Because he went on a run before we went to Diagon Alley. He was trying to get back before I woke up, but missed his mark by about 20 minutes.” I shrugged. 

Hannah made an unsatisfied sound.

I shook my head. “Marta’s going to be so mad she missed this.”

“Oh please, she’s getting laid several times over, probably as we speak. She’s fine.” 

I laughed; she was probably right. I picked at the upholstery of the armchair, thinking of Axios’ patronus. That I would keep to myself.

Hannah yawned, stretching. “Ok I really am going to grab some pepper-up and drag Neville to bed though. That snowball fight was fun but I’m exhausted.”

“Help yourself. Thanks for playing along, it was fun.” 

She left, and I stared into the fire for a while before deciding it was time for bed. The castle was mostly dark, but when I opened the door to my rooms, a fire was crackling merrily in the grate, and candles had been lit. I settled on the sofa with my blue and bronze quilt, thinking about the day, and Axios’ odd behavior over the last few hours. The package from Flourish and Blotts that had been waiting for me on the coffee table caught my attention, and I opened it, looking forward to reading it.

But it wasn’t mine. The house elves must have mixed it up, and given me the curse-breaking book Axios bought. So I slipped out of my warm blanket, and headed for Axios’ rooms. He didn’t answer when I knocked, so I opened the door carefully. His rooms looked much as mine had, light and warm but untouched with the Flourish and Blotts package on the coffee table. I traded the book in my hand for the still-wrapped book, and stopped, looking around. 

His rooms smelled like him. Crisp and clean like lemons, with the warmth of cinnamon tickling my nose. I had to talk myself out of tucking myself in his bed to wait. Though, now I thought about it I wasn’t sure where he was. He wasn’t in my rooms or his, and his office had been empty when I’d just passed it. He wasn’t on duty, either. That left… the Muggle studies classroom with the enchanted sky. 

I put the package back down on the table. It could wait. I hurried down the hall, and opened the door slowly. Sure enough, he was there in the nest of pillows. 

“Hey.” My quiet word seemed to shatter the silence, but he didn’t seem to mind; if anything, he seemed relieved to see me. 

“Hey, love.”

“What aren’t you in bed? It’s been a long few days.” I sat on a cushion just within reach of him, wrapping my arms around myself. 

He sighed, and his face twisted as if he was having an internal debate. He reached out his hand, still staring at the ceiling, and I took it in both of mine. 

“What is it?” My stomach was doing uncomfortable flip-flops, my anxiety rising with his silence. 

“Natalie, the one I introduced you to earlier? She works for the International Magical Cooperation Department at the Ministry.” The words hung ominously in the air, and I steeled myself for what was coming. “I work with her mainly when wanted witches or wizards are crossing international borders. This time though…” My stomach dropped, and my hands went cold. “They think one Benjamin Wilson never actually left Great Britain.”

I felt dizzy and nauseous, bile rising in my throat. 

“Furthermore, they now have evidence that he has killed on more than one occasion. I checked the wards on our way back in. That’s why I suggested we apparate back. They’re fine, no evidence of tampering or of anyone trying to force their way in.”   


I nodded numbly, trying to work out what this meant. 

“They originally thought he went to France, but the French Ministry hasn’t found any trace of him either.” His hand tightened in mine. “We’re going to keep you safe, Livvy. I promise.” 

“Does Minerva know?” My voice came out barely above a whisper.

“I talked to her when you came up with Hannah. We’re on the same page. I was just trying to figure out how to tell you.” 

I nodded, and shivered. My entire body felt cold. Even with an Auror and an ex-auror in the castle, I felt more exposed without Mathieu here as well. Mathieu. 

“Axios…” Panic was flooding through me at a dizzying pace. “You said they thought he went to France?” He sat up, and grasped my elbows, eyebrows furrowed. 

“ _She was transferred to St Mungo’s from France because his father is kind of a big deal there… I think they’re actually related to the Malfoys…” “They knew me, my father, my family...” “I believe I just forget that I do not need to be as guarded with you as I have been with others in the past...” “Didn’t want the press all over it…” “I will be with my father in France… Have you for this Christmas...” “What’s with the guard dogs…” “Well… Part of you…”_

Voices overlapped in my head, and I started to shake. “I don’t doubt that he could have intercepted my mail.” 

Axios’ face was steady, unreadable. “What about your mail, Livvy?” 

“I told my mother I’d been seeing him… If the Dumonts are famous and wealthy, Ben sure as hell would know who they are. What if he recognised him while he was here? From the tabloids or their time at St Mungo’s... He wouldn’t be above using his family against Mathieu to get at me.” 

Axios’ hands tightened on my arms. “Come on.” He dragged me to my feet and down the hall, into his chambers. He pushed me into a chair, disappearing into his bedroom. His patronus, a large silver bear, ran through the room from behind the door closely followed by a second, and he reemerged in his blue auror’s robes. “We’re going to the ministry, Magical Law Enforcement Department, ok? I’ll be waiting on the other side.” 

He threw a handful of sparkling floo powder in the grate, and was gone in a flash of green flames. I took my own handful, and followed suit. I stumbled out of the fireplace on the other end, straight into Axios’ arms. He let me get my bearings, and then he was pulling me through a sea of desks, towards an office. 

He ushered me in, and sent two more patronuses with a quiet, determined, “Expecto Patronum.” I sat in one of the chairs across from the large desk, and tried to slow my breathing, fighting the urge to puke over the wide desk in front of me. 

“Fairview this better be…” The man in the door stopped when he saw me. “Vivienne?” Harry Potter looked at me carefully. “Is everything okay?” 

Axios cleared his throat. “Natalie Richards and John Montgomery from International Magical Cooperation should be joining us presently.” 

Harry nodded, and sat behind the large desk. His, evidently. I supposed that made sense. Harry had been named as the new department Head a few months back. His robes were slightly rumpled, and his hair was a mess, but then it had always been a mess. 

Natalie and a heavy-set man with a rather large mustache waxed into curls on each end entered shortly afterwards. 

“Well then, I believe we’re all assembled. Would you like to explain to me why I’m going to be explaining to Ginny that I’m here and not at home at nearly midnight three days before Christmas?”

“Sir, we have significant reason to believe that Benjamin Wilson may be a threat to Mr. Mathieu Dumont, and his father, Mr. Marcel Dumont of Paris, France.”

There was a chorus of swears thrown around the room, and the heavy-set man with the impressive mustache growled. I felt the blood drain from my face, and I saw Axios and Harry shoot me looks of concern. A smaller, lighter hand landed on my shoulder, and I looked up to see a kind smile from Natalie. 

“Maybe we should start from the beginning, and go from there,” she suggested in a much softer voice than I thought her capable of. I swallowed, but with an encouraging nod from Axios, I launched into what had happened. 

_ “Oh come on, V. It’s not that big of a deal. It was just a sleeping potion.” Ben pushed past me, unperturbed by my demands to know why I’d caught him giving an unlabeled potion to a patient.  _

_ “That was not the one we give. Ours is blue. What was it, Ben?” I pulled on his sleeve, but he shook me off, and left the supply cupboard.  _

_ The next day, the wizard had died, supposedly of injuries sustained by touching a cursed pincushion. I hadn’t been sure, but I had no proof. That had been the first time.  _

_ I started paying closer attention to which patients were his. He always seemed to be assigned to the defenseless, the ones close to death. Most of his patients did die, sooner or later. It should have taken an emotional toll on him, but he was unceasingly bright and charming. I didn’t catch him doing anything specific, but I knew something was wrong.  _

_ The second time I caught him had been a month later, when I’d noticed him spending much longer than necessary in the room of a man that had been badly obliterated, and was practically non verbal. I’d hidden behind a curtain with disillusionment charms, and watched through it with the two-way mirror spell. He’d cut off the man’s air supply, until he was turning blue and I’d exposed myself, casting a shield charm over the defenseless man.  _

_ That was when I broke up with him, threatening to go to the Board. It was August, and I asked to be reassigned to Hogwarts as much as possible, just to avoid him. He’d threatened to tell them that I was an inept healer and I’d been leaning on his skills, so I stayed quiet, despite knowing I was a fully capable healer. His eyes had been cold and emotionless, and I had no doubt that he would have conjured up some kind of evidence to make his claims believable. I couldn’t risk it. So I’d tucked tail and ran, just as he’d expected me to.  _

_ What he hadn’t expected, was for me to be hired on with Hogwarts full time a year later, and write a detailed letter to the St Mungo’s Board explaining what I’d seen, and his threats, including copies of my memories of the events.  _

Harry listened intently as I explained what had transpired, his master manipulation, and why I was concerned for Mathieu’s welfare. Axios had passed me his handkerchief a few minutes in, and had pointed a few non-verbal drying spells at it over the course of my monologue. 

“Well… I’m convinced.” Harry turned to the others. “Any questions?” 

The mustached man-- what had Axios called him? James? John. It was John. -- cleared his throat.    


“Natalie, I think you should go to the French Ministry straight off. Someone should warn the Du—”

“I sent Mathieu Dumont a message via patronus before we came. I instructed him to take his father to the French Ministry to await further instruction. Minerva McGonagall has also been alerted.” Axios stood with his feet shoulder width apart, his hands clasped behind his back. His blue robes were oddly still, his face stony. Here he looked nothing like my school friend, but every inch the hardened fighter he’d become. My chest ached in that moment, until he caught my eye, and his dark eyes softened. 

My eyes filled with tears again, but I blinked them away, taking a deep breath as Natalie, John, and Harry talked around me. I was only half listening, keeping my eyes on my anchor; on Axios. I caught mentions of the French Ministry, MACUSA, and various departments that would be involved. 

“Fairview.” Harry’s voice was commanding, but softened. “I think Vivienne would be better off at Hogwarts...” I tore my eyes from Axios, fear flooding through me. “And you are under strict orders to not leave her side until this arse is in shackles. Is that clear?” Harry’s bright green eyes were trained on me. 

The relief was dizzying, like air rushing into my lungs after being underwater for too long. 

“Yes, sir.” I wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light, or if Axios actually relaxed slightly, but either way, I couldn’t help but feel relieved that he was under orders. 

“Sooner than later, I think, Fairview. I do think Vivienne has been through enough and could use a spot of tea.” Harry gave me the same knowing look he had after the quidditch game in my office. 

Axios nodded, and reached out for me. He slid an arm around my shoulders, and ushered me back to the fireplace and into his chambers. Again, I stumbled out of the fireplace gracelessly, but like before, he caught me. This time, he didn’t let go, and I sobbed into his shoulder. 

The steady drip of tears from the office made way for a torrent of tears and embarrassingly loud cries. Axios just held me tighter, and stroked my hair until I calmed.

“Let’s have a cuppa. Come on now.” 

He set me on the sofa, summoning a blanket identical to the one I’d been carting around, tucking it in around me. He made a pot of tea, pressing a cup into my hands and settling on the couch next to me with his own. 

“It’s okay love. We’ll get the best on it, and they’re going to be fine.” He rubbed my back in slow, broad strokes. “France and the US are on it too.” 

“My head hurts.” I set the untouched tea aside and rubbed my temples. All the tears had brought on an awful headache. 

“We should get you to bed. I really hate to do this, but I’d prefer if you’d stay here. I can set up a cot or sleep on the sofa, you can have the bed.” 

I shot him a half-hearted glare. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can share the bed. We might both actually get a good night’s rest that way. The solution seemed obvious, but he shook his head. 

“I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Do what? Ensure I get some sleep too? Because that night you weren’t the only one getting sleep for the first time in a while.”

“I don’t want to back you into a corner or make you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s not like that. I want to fall asleep next to you again. You’re not asking for anything. Hell, I’m asking for more than you are.”

He finally turned his eyes to me, and I could see the guilt and pain there. “Are you sure?” 

“I might have to hex you if you keep asking. I’m far too tired to argue.” I heaved myself from the sofa, and went into his bedroom. I summoned Lolly, who promptly brought me a fresh set of pajamas to change into. I changed and perched on the edge of the bed to wait. 

I was almost ready to go back in there and hex him, when the door opened and his tired eyes focused on me. I smiled as his eyes took me in, and held out a hand. 

He stared, frozen inside the door for a long moment before coming towards me and taking my hand. “You don’t have to do this,” he whispered hoarsely. 

“I know. I want to, and it’s not like anything’s going to happen.” He searched my face, and finally acquiesced. “Do you have a side preference?” I stepped off the bed and was pulling back the covers. He indicated the left side, closer to the door, so I climbed in the right side, and sat waiting expectantly. 

He shifted his weight nervously, summoning a couple items from his wardrobe and ducked into the bathroom, coming back out in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He folded his Auror’s robes rather neatly and set them next to the bed, climbing in and extinguishing the candles. 

“Will you chill out? I’m not going to bite.” 

He snorted. “I just don’t want to get you in trouble with Dumont. I’m fairly certain we’ve been down a path like this before.”

“Let’s just focus on getting us all out of this alive, and then you two can have it out.” My stomach flipped. Was I really going to go back to Mathieu?

I shuffled closer, reaching for his hand. He held it carefully at first, but I soon felt his body relaxing. Slowly our breathing became the slow, even pace of sleep. 


	34. The Truth

December 23, 2006

The morning dawned to me on my side, facing away from the man next to me. He was on his stomach, an arm thrown casually across my back. I stretched beneath the solid weight of his arm, looking around the room. While it was decorated and laid out as mine was, that’s where the similarities ended. 

His armoire hung slightly open, with sleeves and corners of cloaks peaking out. My eyes were drawn to the blue auror’s robes, and my stomach sank. I thought of last night. While most of the time he was here and safe, he did still work with the Aurors doing sometimes dangerous jobs. The scar across his chest was testament to that, as was his order to stay by my side. 

I rolled toward Axios, and found that at some point in the night we’d shifted, and he was a head higher than I was in the bed. My roll had brought my nose to his chest, and his arm tightened briefly. I watched his face carefully. He looked so relaxed and at peace. The dark circles under his eyes had lightened a bit, and his forehead was smooth. His coal-dark eyelashes brushed his cheeks and I had to fight the urge to touch them; I didn’t want to wake him up. So I turned my attention back to the room. 

His desk was a mess of personal correspondence and student’s work. I spied a stick of royal blue wax and smiled. He’d used an olive green color for a while, but it just didn’t seem… right. Funny how something as small as a seal could reflect changes. 

The bookshelves lining the wall between the sitting room and corridor were full of a variety of books and subjects, and my fingers itched to run over the spines to see what gems he had. A sidebar had various types of liquor and a set of pretty lowball glasses I recognized as a set I sent him when he took the position as Defense Professor, joking that he’d need them. 

A copy of the Daily Prophet was on the coffee table next to the unwrapped book and the package from Flourish and Blotts that held my own book, forgotten in the rush to the Ministry. From what I could tell, it was open to the sports section, a headline about the HolyHead Harpies flashing. 

The rooms were comfortably  _ him.  _ Nothing I wouldn’t have expected. My eyes wandered back to the innocuous stick of wax on the desk. 

I’d used a blush pink wax until Ben told me it was childish. I switched to red, which he said was too daring. I finally went to silver, which he deemed acceptable. Maybe it was time to change again… 

“What are you thinking about?” I jumped, not realizing he had woken up. “Sorry,” he yawned, but didn’t move away. 

“Sealing wax.” 

He hummed. “What happened to the pink you used to use? Or the red? That was nice.” 

I sighed. “Ben didn’t like it.”

“He’s a bloody tosser. Don’t listen to him.”

“What made you change to green and back to blue?” 

He rolled over, stretching. “Whenever I use the blue, it makes me think of all the times I’d pass you notes in the hall and later I’d see you reading it. Sometimes more than once.” He grinned sleepily. “I switched when I joined the Aurors because I’d grin like an idiot at it, and I got hell for it. When I left the Aurors and came back to teach it didn’t matter anymore. So I went back.”

“You are an idiot,” I laughed. “Do you have any idea how many Ravenclaws used that color? I’m pretty sure it was at least half.” 

“Ok so I might have been dreaming a bit, but I liked to think they were mine that you’d read over and over.” 

“Who would have thought that Axios Fairview was a hopeless romantic?” 

“Well on the bright side all of those notes we passed actually came in quite handy later on.” 

“They did? How so?” 

“You remember how it started, don’t you?” He propped himself up on his elbow, and summoned a book from his desk. He handed it to me. It was a battered and worn paperback of Agatha Christie’s  _ Murder on the Orient Express. _

“Oh that’s right. You wanted a mystery novel. I gave you this one and told you to figure it out.” I opened the book in my hands, and there in my 14-year old handwriting was “To Axios. Do you really belong in Ravenclaw? Love, Livvy.” I laughed. “You started passing me notes almost every day trying to figure out who did it. You were right earlier than I was and I was so mad!” 

“You kept supplying me with Agatha Christie novels telling me to solve them. It was great practice for my Auror exams, really. And gave me something to do the year you weren’t here. I went through the books and picked up the little things I’d missed the first go-round.” 

I flipped through the pages and smiled at his notations. Some were older and fading. Others were newer, his handwriting bolder. I smiled. “My dad would’ve liked you. He had to buy me new copies of her books because he did the same to his copies and he didn’t want to give it away.” I held the book up. “Technically he supplied you. He’d send me new ones every time you solved one.” 

Axios smiled. “I’m sorry I never got to meet him. From everything you’ve said, he was someone I very much would have liked to know.”

“You’ll meet my mum, though. You’ll love her.” I reached up and brushed a curl from his forehead, freezing at the intimate gesture while laying in his bed. 

And then it all crashed down on me. The anxious feeling; the knots in my stomach every time I kissed Mathieu. I may care for Mathieu, but I loved Axios. I’d loved him since he messed up and called me Liv instead of Viv. I loved him when we hid on the astronomy tower together, and when he passed me notes in the hall. I’d read and re-read them, and I’d kept every last one of them. I’d even started dating Ben trying to tell myself I’d moved on from my schoolgirl crush.

Something must’ve changed in my face, because Axios’ dark eyes grew wide, and he leaned closer. Sharp lemon and warm cinnamon made my stomach lurch. 

“Livvy? What’s wrong?” 

I closed my eyes and pressed my fist to my forehead. “I was so stupid. They were right.”

“Who was right?” Axios wrapped a hand around my wrist, tugging gently. 

“Marta and Hannah.” The tugging on my wrist grew more insistent, and I allowed my hand to be pulled away from my face.

“Livvy what are you on about?” He was genuinely confused. 

I took a deep breath, and looked him in the eye. “I need to talk to Mathieu.”

His eyebrows drew together. “Do you need to send him an owl? Or can it wait until this mess is over?”

I shook my head. “It’s not something I can say in a letter. I’ll talk to him later.” He didn’t look any less confused, but let it go. 

“Well, I need breakfast,” he yawned, stretching again. 

“Me too. But I also need a shower. Are you going to let me go to my own rooms for that, or do I need to summon a house elf to get me a fresh set?” I slid out from between the sheets, and shivered as my bare feet hit the cold stone floor. 

“Sorry love. We can go back for you to shower, but we’ll need to stay here for the most of it. My fireplace is the only one connected to the Auror department.” 

I sighed. “Might as well just stay here then, as long as you don’t mind me taking over your shower.”

“Just don’t lock the door. Otherwise, have at it.” 

I stared at him. “Seriously? Are you really that bad at ‘Alohomora’?” I teased.

He looked grim when he shook his head. “Livvy it can be the difference.” He didn’t have to add “between life and death.” Goosebumps erupted over my skin, and I turned away. 

“Lolly.” The house elf appeared at my feet, and I quickly told her that I would be staying with Axios until the Ministry told me otherwise, but I would need a few things from my rooms. She was all too happy to oblige me, but only after I assured her that I was in no immediate danger, as long as I stayed with Axios. She disappeared with another ‘crack’ and I was left feeling chilled.

“Livvy I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” I could feel the heat from his body behind me, and I leaned backwards into him. His arms came around me, chasing the cold from my skin.

“You didn’t scare me. I know it’s a safety measure, I just have a hard time picturing anything happening with you here. You’re a much more powerful wizard than he could ever hope to be.” I shook my head. “I’m going to shower. I’ll leave the door unlocked, but can you have Lolly put a set of the blue robes in there for when I’m done?”

I tried to step away, but was held in place by his powerful arms. “Look at me first, love.”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a heartbeat before turning around to look up into his face. His eyes searched my own, and I had to fight off the urge to kiss him. It wasn’t time yet. Not before I spoke to Mathieu. 

“I promise I’ll keep you safe.” His voice was low, with a hint of some emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on. 

“I know.” My reply was steady and confident, and it surprised him. 

“Good.” He dropped his arms, looking a little unbalanced. “I’ll have breakfast brought up then.” 

~~~

It was early afternoon when he stood from his chair and stretched, pulling me from the depths of my book. I was curled up in a chair with the large blanket, doing my best not to think about what may or may not be happening with Mathieu in France, my feelings for Axios, or my fear of what my ex-boyfriend was capable of. 

I was failing miserably and was glad when he asked if I wanted to play a game of chess. He got out the heavy, ornate board and I watched as the pieces took their places. 

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened with him?” Axios’ dark eyes were glued to the board, but I knew he’d be looking for my reaction. 

“I didn’t want to pull you in the middle of it. I thought I had it handled…” I sighed. “Honestly? I started dating him in hopes I’d get over you. When it was over, I was humiliated. And of course now it turns out he was a bloody murderer, and I’m still not over you.” 

His eyes flicked to mine, shock bringing him to a complete stop. 

“You were brought in to St Mungo’s two summers ago. You’d been on an Auror mission and caught multiple stunners to the chest.”

“Oh I remember.” His mouth twisted at the memory. “But do go on.”

“That was what, the fourth time you’d been brought in since I’d started?” 

“Fifth.” He sat back, watching me carefully.

“Well. Seeing you unconscious,  _ again _ , sent me into a sort of a tailspin. Ben was new. He was charming and more importantly, he was just there.”

I started picking at my sleeve. 

“Hazel didn’t like him. She saw through him before I did. Then I caught him, and broke up with him… The day she died, I’d asked her to go out for drinks. Ben had cornered me at St Mungo’s and I was feeling awful. She came out with me instead of seeing Macnair…”

I dropped my face into my hands. “That’s what they were arguing about. I was still outside, I heard the yelling. And I left. I didn’t think he’d kill her…” 

The tears were coming again. 

“If I hadn’t buried my feelings and dated Ben… Hazel might still be alive. I couldn’t face you knowing that.” 

The cushion next to me shifted under his weight. I didn’t hear him, but the comforting arm wasn’t unwelcome. I let the tears come, and then couldn’t hold it back any longer. 

I look up into his eyes, and I couldn’t hold it in. It had been too long and Mathieu was pushed from my thoughts. “I love you, Axios. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

His dark eyebrows drew together. “I love you too, Livvy. But what—”

“I’m in love with you. And I have been since the first time you called me the wrong name.” His hand tightened on my wrist, and his eyes got wide, shock written all over his face. “I couldn’t tell you without telling you how much I love you.”

“Livvy, it’s just the adrenaline from last night. You don’t actually—”

I kissed him, stopping him mid-sentence. 

“I think we’ve been lying to ourselves long enough now.” I pulled back, and looked him in the eye again. “Please don’t make me do it for another 12 years.” 

He didn’t give me an answer other than wrapping his arms around me and crushing me to him. I clung to him until we began to laugh, more tears filling my eyes. 

“It’s about damn time, Livvy.” 


	35. The Protector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one gets briefly sexual, heads up!

“What changed?” I was resting with my head on his chest, his arm around me, a few minutes and many kisses later.

“Last night… I was worried about Mathieu… But it almost killed me when I thought we were going to be separated, even for a time. This morning, looking around… There are traces of me all around your rooms. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even the color of the damn sealing wax you use.” I smiled ruefully. “And Marta and Hannah wouldn’t let up…. I can’t deny it anymore. It’s bloody exhausting.”

He rested his cheek on the top of my head, inhaling deeply. “Maybe I have them to thank, then.”

“I didn’t mean to tell you yet. I wanted to tell Mathieu first… but I couldn’t put it off any longer.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, love.”

“But speaking of putting things off... “ I threaded my fingers through his. “I’m supposed to have dinner with my mum tomorrow night. I’m assuming you’re still going to be glued to my hip, so I guess it’s as good a time as any for you to meet her.” 

“Are you sure, love? We can wait until this mess is over, have another Auror go with you.” 

I pulled back. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought she’d like to meet you.”

He tucked me back into his chest. “I can’t wait to meet her. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to rush it if you’re not ready. The last week has been… Messy.” 

“There’s nothing I want more than to have Christmas dinner with you and Mum, even if it is on Christmas Eve.” I looked up at him. “I’m sorry if I’m ruining your Christmas. I’d hate to think I was keeping you from your family.”

He chuckled. “Mum and Dad are in Spain on holiday. They’ll be back for the new year, and I was planning on visiting then. So no need to feel sorry. And even if they were home, I’d just ask you if you’d like to meet them.” 

I nodded slowly, breathing in deeply, trying to squash the next question from my mind. I tried to let the sound of Axios’ heart in my ears drown it out.

“Livvy you’re shaking. What’s wrong?” He stroked my arm and then my hair. 

“What happens when they find him?” Even within the safety of the arms of the man I loved, my blood ran cold. 

His hand stilled, and then he sighed. 

“If he cooperates, and goes quietly, he will be brought back to the ministry for a trial for his crimes here, and then handed over to MACUSA officials.”

“And if he doesn’t cooperate?” My voice wavered. 

“Don’t think about it, love.” He tightened his grip, ever my protector; I nodded, pressing my face into his neck. “No matter what happens, I’m here. You will always have me, Livvy.”

I nodded again, clinging tighter. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me before.” 

I pulled back, and rotated quickly so I was straddling his legs. His surprised expression was worth it, but it melted into tenderness. I took his face in my hands, leaning close, tears filling my eyes again. “No what ifs. No if onlys. From now on, it’s me and you going forward. Please.” 

His eyes looked haunted, the depths unfathomable. 

“Please.” The word came out more as a breath as I pleaded. 

“You and me,” he agreed, his hands coming to rest on my waist. I leaned forward, pressing my body into his before kissing him gently. 

He deepened the kiss, his fingers digging into my hips. The pain was deliciously close to pleasure, and I moaned into the kiss. My fingers slipped into his hair, the curls trapping my fingers. His breaths came in quick huffs, his tongue flicking against mine. 

If this is what I’d been missing the entire time, I really wished I’d done this sooner. I felt him smile, and I couldn’t help but smile along with him. 

“I think I have a new favorite way to stop you crying.” He brushed my hair away from my face, swiping the last tear from my face. 

I untangled my fingers from his hair to throw my arms around him, laughter bubbling up. His arms folded around me, and I wondered if I would ever get tired of the feeling of being held by him. When he buried his nose in my neck, I decided that I wanted to spend as long as necessary to find out. 

At some point I moved again, this time so my back was against the arm of the sofa, Axios’ arm protectively around me and my head laying against his shoulder. 

We’d abandoned the idea of playing chess at all, content to spend the afternoon and evening tucked up together. 

Around six, a Ministry owl brought a letter addressed to me, stating that Mathieu and his father were safe with protection from the French Ministry, but Ben hadn’t been located yet. My anxiety had spiked at the letter, and Axios led me to the enchanted room as a last ditch effort before resorting to a Calming Draught. 

While there, lying in his arms, I was able to relax enough to fall asleep. I awoke briefly to him carrying me to bed, but as soon as he climbed between the sheets next to me, I was gone again. 

I had vague dreams of broken vases and shattered vials, dripping wax, and warm onyx eyes. 

The protective arm over me when I woke made me smile, and think that I had finally made the right choice. I tucked myself deeper into his side, happy to stay there for as long as was necessary. I rolled a bit until I was spooning his arm, my back to his side. With my head on his shoulder, I wrapped my arms around his bicep and sandwiched his hand between my thighs just above my knees. 

He chuckled, and I lifted my head slightly. 

“What?”

“You’re just so… little,” he laughed. 

“You like it. So shut up.” I kissed his shoulder, laying back down.

“You’re right. I do.” He kissed the top of my head. “Good morning, love.” 

“Morning.” I buried my grin in his arm. 

“I could get used to this.” Axios rolled, pressing his chest into my back. The arm that I wasn’t holding hostage came around, and brushed my hair up away from my neck. His lips were warm on the tender skin, and he had me gasping within seconds. 

“Merlin, you—“

“There’s only one name I want to hear from you and it’s sure as hell not Merlin’s.” He nipped at my ear and shoulder, sending shudders through my body. 

I gasped again, my mind going blank when the hand I held captive between my thighs slid up, brushing against my core. His other hand slid under my top, and I moaned. “Axios don’t stop.”

“That’s better,” he breathed against my neck. His hand pressed against my core again as he swept up, capturing my breast with the other. He rolled my nipple between two wide fingers and I dug my own fingers into his leg, trying to pull him closer, my back arching. 

A tapping on the window made me groan. Axios chuckled in my ear, withdrawing both of his hands. He gave me a swift peck on the cheek before climbing out of bed and opening the window, the flash of icy air making my nipples harden painfully. 

The barn owl dropped the letter in Axios’ hand, and settled on the desk to wait. I sat up, watching his face carefully as he broke open the forest green seal and read the letter. His expression stayed mild, and he waved it at me. “Sanchez says your Mum is doing well, but she wants to know what time you’ll be there for dinner.”

I laughed. Of course. 

I heaved myself out of bed and snatched the letter, moving to his desk to respond. I plucked a quill and a pot of ink from a drawer, and found an empty piece of parchment. I heard the shower come on, and set to writing a reply as quickly as I could. 

_ Mum, _

_ I’m glad you and Auror Sanchez are getting along. I’ll be there for dinner around three. Set an extra place at the table, I’m bringing Axios to meet you.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Viv _

I looked at the stick of blue wax, and smiled as I tapped it with my wand, the wax immediately puddling on the creamy parchment. A second tap, and the wax was cool, imprinted with my initials and a flowering vine border. For a moment I wondered what it would look like if the VB was a VF. I blushed at my juvenile daydream and offered the letter to the owl. He took it and I opened the window for him, watching as he flew up and out of sight. 

I returned to the desk to clean up, and as I was straightening the stacks of papers, a heavy embossed invitation fell out. It was addressed to Mr Axios Fairview in a flowery handwriting. A wedding, maybe? The seal on the back was emerald green, a vaguely familiar ‘M’ stamped into it. 

I heard his whistling get louder, and I tucked it back in it’s place, flushing at my brazen disregard of his privacy. I left the desk and leaned against the door frame to the bedroom. He emerged from the bathroom in his boxers, toweling his hair dry. Droplets still clung to his chest, and I eyed the long, vividly red scar that dragged down the right side of his ribs. 

I didn’t need to ask where it had come from, I held his hand at St Mungo’s while it was healed. I’d been in training still, and he’d been caught with a cursed blade on an Auror mission. It had been the first time I’d cried on the ward; once he’d been healed and was waking up, the first word from his mouth had been “Livvy.” I cried like a baby and my instructing healer had never been more confused. 

“Livvy. Where are you at?” I blinked, his face coming back into focus. 

“Does is still hurt?” I reached up, and traced the scar lightly with a finger. 

“Sometimes. More often than not I forget about it.” He stepped closer, and flattened my palm against the broad expanse of his chest. “I’ll never forget the first thought I had when I woke up.” 

“You were asking for me. Before you even opened your eyes, you said ‘Livvy.” I tore my eyes from the wound that looked weeks old, not years. 

“I could hear you, somehow.” He smiled ruefully. “I swore I was dead. Until I opened my eyes. There was no way I could be with you and still in so much pain if I was dead.” 

I bit my cheek, and he chuckled, brushing his knuckles down my jaw. “How is it that we both managed to make it this long?”    
  
“I’d like to chalk it up to your stubborn nature and hard-headedness, but I suppose my own stupidity plays a part.” He slipped his hand into my hair as he spoke. “But whatever the case, I’m just happy you’re mine now.” He kissed me until I forgot the scar under my fingertips and the threat that brought me to this point. 

“Are you going to shower, or do you want to go to breakfast like that?” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I smacked him lightly on the arm, kissing him once more before slipping past him and into the bathroom. I disrobed and was in the process of shampooing my hair when he started whistling from the other side of the curtain.

I stuck my head out, and found him combing a hair potion through his curls. He grinned at me in the mirror, and gave me a cheeky wink. I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly, and then asked, “So what are you wearing to dinner?”

“Technically I’m on assignment and should be in uniform. If it would make you uncomfortable, I can wear something else though. Harry would understand.” 

“I dunno, I think you look nice in that color. I don’t mind, and I wouldn’t want to risk you getting in trouble.” I rinsed the suds from my hair and poked my head back out of the curtain. He was leaning against the sink, facing me now. He looked entirely too satisfied with himself, and I shot him a suspicious look. 

“What are you so pleased about?” 

His smile widened, and I thought he looked younger, more carefree than he had since the year had begun. “I didn’t expect to be discussing what to wear to meet your mum with you in the shower two days ago. You can’t blame me for enjoying the turn of events.” 

I ducked back behind the curtain and smiled. It did feel rather like a dream. I finished with the shower, and Axios’ hand appeared just inside the curtain with a dry towel. I took it, and wrapped it around myself securely before pulling the curtain back. 

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” I eyed his casual stance, noting that at some point he’d donned his trousers. 

“I am.” He gave another wink before vacating the room, shutting the door behind him. I dressed in burgundy robes before throwing the door back open to find him pulling his Auror’s robes closed across his chest. The royal blue robes looked nice against his tanned skin, but I couldn’t help feeling the tiniest bit put out. 

“I mean I could go to breakfast shirtless but I think some of the students would have something to say about it, and then we’d have Minerva all over us…” He smirked.

“I didn’t… That’s not… Axios you arse.” My cheeks erupted in heat. He laughed, the full bodied sound I’d grown to love and miss so much. “We’re going to breakfast now.” 

“Your hair is still wet, love.” His lips twitched into another smirk.

I waved my wand with a huff, and he was chuckling beside me before I even reached the door to the corridor. 

Breakfast was a quick affair, but quiet as we elected to sit with Neville and Hannah, and no students took the vacant seats at our table. Axios’ Auror robes earned him a few questioning looks, but no one asked. Hannah got a whispered “you were right,” as Axios and I left.  


We checked in on the hospital wing next, and I saw Bardolf raise an eyebrow at us. I shot him a sly smile, slipping my arm around Axios’ waist. He returned the gesture without thought, and I grinned up at him. 


	36. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axios meets Vivienne’s mom... but someone else shows up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence and domestic abuse

December 24, 2006

At two thirty, we pulled on our thick traveling cloaks, and set off across the grounds towards Hogsmeade. We apparated as soon as we were outside the gates, landing in the familiar back garden. Axios squeezed my hand, and I pushed open the back door, flinging my cloak over the nearest dining chair. 

“Mum we’re here! Dixie, where are you?” 

The answering silence worried me. Dixie always greeted me at the door. I looked around, and my blood ran cold. The table was only half set. Four plates and glasses, but no cutlery. Mum was meticulous when it came to her place settings, even when it was just the two of us. 

I looked up at Axios, who already had his wand out. He threw his arm out, casting a spell through the house. Shadows resembling Mum and a man in Auror robes came back, and Axios crept forward, his left hand like a vice on mine. We moved through the house room by room. My hands shook at every doorway. I found the note I’d written her that morning on the sitting room coffee table, and showed it to Axios. He nodded, and moved on. 

The first floor was empty, and he led the way up the narrow staircase. The first door was my room. Inside, the contents of the box I’d retrieved from the attic were strewn across my bed. Notes and letters, all sealed in royal blue or olive green wax sat in a pile. All of them addressed to Livvy, never Viv or Vivienne. Axios saw the pile, but didn’t react. His jaw was set, his wand steady, and his dark eyes bottomless. 

The room across the hall had been my father’s study. Inside, I let out a sob. Mum and the other Auror were on the floor, rigid. 

“Finite!” Axios whispered, and they both moaned quietly as they were released from the body-bind curse. Dixie appeared from behind a chair, barking. I fell to my knees, pulling Mum up from the floor. Axios offered the other Auror a hand, pulling him to his feet. 

“Sanchez, where did he go?” 

“Mum!” I was sobbing, pulling her and Dixie closer, the dog trying to get at our faces to lick away our tears. From the corner of my eye, I saw a flurry of blue, and the dog went silent. I threw myself backwards, pulling Mum and Dixie with me. Arches of colored sparks exploded, red and blue showering down around the room. 

I watched in horror as Auror Sanchez collapsed in a heap. Axios and Ben were circling each other, curses and hexes flying. As they turned, I shifted away from Mum, allowing better range of movement. As soon as Ben’s back had turned toward me, I lunged forward. 

“Stupify!” My spell missed, and Ben spun, crushing my arms to my body and jabbing his wand into my neck. With me between him and Axios, he laughed darkly. For the first time, I saw Axios’ wand tremble in his hand. His eyes locked on mine as I gasped, the tip of Ben’s wand pressing on my windpipe. My own wand clattered on the floor, rolling away.

“Oh V. You’ve been busy. First the rich and famous French-fry and now the Auror.” He laughed again, the sound harsh in my ear. “I was looking forward to going to France, but this worked out better. I should have known though. I saw how you looked at him. How he looked at you.”

“Let her go.” Axios’ voice was low and dangerous, his wand steady again. Mum whimpered behind us. 

“I don’t think I will. She was such a sweet girlfriend. Very thoughtful. But you already knew that, didn't you?” He barked another laugh. “Until she turned out to be a traitorous little bitch. I was good to her. I was there when you weren’t.” The wand at my throat pressed harder, bringing tears to my eyes. I looked frantically to Axios, my hands clawing at Ben’s arm. 

“Hurting her won’t change anything. You’re already wanted for murder. Don’t make it worse for yourself.” Axios’ voice was as steady as his wand, and I closed my eyes. “Livvy, love. Look at me.” I forced my eyes back open and found his black eyes. 

“Oh but I did always enjoy her screams. Didn’t I, V? I didn’t put two and two together why you got the best ones out of her until I saw your little love notes, though.” 

I was gasping, tears running down my face as I fought his hold on me. He didn’t even seem to notice my nails tearing at his arm.

Axios’ eyes flicked to Ben, making Ben laugh harshly again. “Oh I guess you wouldn’t know. You’d be brought in after playing the hero, and V would fall to pieces. It was so much fun to watch. I used to think about what kind of scream I’d get if you were dead on that bed.” 

I gasped, the sob unable to escape the wand pressing into my throat. Axios’ eyes were back on mine. I held on to his gaze like a lifeline, pleading for him to save me. 

“I got to hear it when that bitch friend of hers bit it, though. If V here hadn’t been so stupid, her little friend might still be alive.” He was gloating now, positively gleeful in my pain. He pressed his wand harder still into my throat, and my lungs began to burn. A wet warmth spread down my chest, soaking the front of my robes. 

I let my hands fall from his arm, and watched as Axios got increasingly less clear, his wand disappearing from view, his blue robes blurring into the background, and finally his dark eyes meeting the darkness that took over my vision.

A loud thump filled my ears, and the pressure on my throat disappeared, though a sharp pain remained. The arm that pinned my arms down dropped, and I fell to the floor, air filling my lungs. Axios bellowed an incantation, but I couldn’t move. The world spun around me, screams filling the air. 

Slowly, the screams began to make sense. Mum was screaming for me, crying my name over and over. The dog was barking again. I was being pulled up, my face being pressed into royal blue robes that smelled of lemon and cinnamon and muffled my own anguished screams. 

“I’ve got you Livvy. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” His words were like a chant, filling my ears and quieting my cries. The world rocked around me, and then I was being laid down. Small, soft hands brushed the damp hair from my face, whispering a lullaby in my ear. 

“Expecto Patronum!” Flashes of silver at the edges of my vision made me gasp, and sobs wracked through me, over and over. 

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, love.” Axios’ voice resumed the chant, and his hands covered mine. Slowly, the world came back into focus. First was Mum’s hands on my face, and then I saw her face, tear streaked and blood splattered. I blinked, trying to turn my head toward the second voice. 

“Axios.” It was little more than a breath, but his chant stopped. 

“Livvy, love. I’m here. You’re safe now.” 

I finally made my head turn, and his face came into focus, tears clinging to his black eyelashes. My breaths slowed and deepened, his eyes grounding me. 

There was another flurry of movement around the edges of my vision and I struggled, panic washing over me again. There was blood on his robes.

He shushed me gently. “It’s more Aurors. You’re safe love.” I pulled on his robes, pulling him closer. “I’m not leaving you, Livvy. It’s okay.”

“I need to sit up.” It came out closer to a croak, but Axios gently lifted me until I was sitting on the sofa. He must’ve carried me to the sitting room, and I was glad to see the fireplace had a crackling fire and the Christmas tree glittered in the corner. 

Mum sat next to me, a handkerchief I recognized as Axios’ pressed to her mouth. 

“Blood…” I reached toward his robes.

“It’s not mine. He didn’t touch me.”

“Sanchez?” My voice was even more rough, but I had to know. 

“Just stunned. He’s fine.” Axios stroked my face.

“Ben?” My voice broke. 

“Dead.” It was Mum who spoke this time. I stared at her, and she lowered the handkerchief. “I wasn’t going to watch him kill my baby.” 

“But… How?” I looked between her and Axios. 

“Those damn candlesticks finally came in handy. I suppose I’ll have to actually thank your grandmother now.” 

I blinked at her. She gave me the tiniest shrug, and I shook my head, feeling dizzy. A group of witches and wizards in blue robes appeared at the bottom of the staircase, and I recognized some of their faces. A couple of wizards joined them in black robes. MACUSA badges glinted on their belts. 

A wizard shorter than Axios with a pot-belly and a witch with a square jaw and short black hair came forward.

“Fairview, Mrs Beaulieu. Miss Beaulieu.” The witch greeted us in turn, her gravelly voice oddly calming. “We will need each of you to accompany us to the Ministry, to give statements, and allow our team to ensure none of the muggle neighbors saw or heard anything.” We each nodded.

“Fairview, can I talk to you?” She looked expectantly at him, and I tried to swallow the panic rising in my throat. He squeezed my hand, and rose to his feet. They retreated down the hall, while the short, portly man stood just inside the door with his hands clasped behind his back. 

Mum reached out and I took her hand, holding it tightly. We sat in silence, and my head began to pound. I was going to summon the teapot, when I realized that I didn’t know where my wand was. 

“Where’s my wand?” My voice was getting increasingly froggy, and I looked around anxiously. 

Mum pulled it from the pocket of her apron, and handed it to me. “I’ve never wished so much that I could have used it as I did up there. Not even the day your father died.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

“You saved me, Mum.” I looked into her eyes, the same brown eyes that looked back at me from the mirror.

She moved closer, and we wrapped our arms around each other. I buried my head in her shoulder, and cried again. A soft touch to my shoulder told me Axios had returned, but I didn’t let go until Mum did.

“We need to go to the Ministry.” He knelt next to me, carefully cradling my body. “We were wrong. He’s not dead. He was gone when the others got here.” 

“But… I saw him. I felt it…” Mum’s face had gone white as a sheet. A tremor wracked my body, and I felt ill.

“We will discuss it further at the Ministry. I think Floo would be the best for you, Mrs Beaulieu.”

Mum looked him up and down and scoffed, snapping quickly from her shock. “You just saved the life of my child and myself. And I’ve never seen anyone so in love as you are with her. You may as well cut to the chase and call me Mum, or Margaret if you must.” 

My mouth dropped open, and I just stared at her. “Vivienne darling, do close your mouth, you are not a fish.” Her eyes danced, despite the afternoon’s events, and she stood, whipping off her apron and straightening her dress. I snapped my jaw shut, and turned with wide eyes to Axios. 

“Kat will go with Mrs— Margaret, then, and Livvy and I will apparate and meet you there.” Axios nodded to the short-haired witch, who nodded, stepping forward. 

I watched them disappear through the emerald flames, and Axios and I stepped into the back garden, snow falling softly around us. 

He turned to me, and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “I love you, and I am so sorry.” 

I squeezed my eyes shut, and took a deep breath in, trying to fill my lungs with the scent of him. “I love you too. You saved me just as much as Mum did, so please don’t be sorry.” My voice sounded like sandpaper to my own ears, and I coughed, but it sent a sparking pain through my throat that left me in tears in my eyes. 

“I shouldn’t have left him there. I was so worried about you…”He stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head.

“It’s not your fault. He shouldn’t have been able to survive that…” My body shook again. “You’ll catch him. You have to.” 

He stroked my hair a few more times before leaning down and kissing me properly, but oh so gently, as if I was going to break. I melted into him until I was fairly certain he was holding me from the ground. 

“Fairview. Get going before Potter has your hide!” A man with deep brown skin and thinning black hair was leaning out the back door. He grinned when Axios turned with me still in his arms. “Or take your time.”

“Shut it, deMarco!” Axios turned, apparating us to the Ministry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was tough to write, and tougher to read over again. 
> 
> As for Margaret’s reaction, adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and extreme mood swings is a fairly normal reaction, please dont crucify me over it. You’ll see more of it in the coming chapters.


	37. The Blood

Back at the Ministry, there was a flurry of movement. I caught sight of Natalie and John, who stared at us dumbfounded as we hurried past. Mum was waiting for us in Harry’s office when we arrived, a cup of tea in hand. She’d washed her face free of the blood and soot and appeared relatively calm. Axios had an arm around me, and unlike the previous visit to the office, he sat beside me, refusing to move any further away than was strictly necessary. I was grateful though, and I shook less when he was supporting me. 

Harry had Mum dictate the afternoon’s events to a quill, while Axios and I put copies of our memories in vials. When that was complete, he looked me over, staring at what I thought was my chin. 

“You need to see a healer. Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for the two of you, either.” 

I started to object, but Axios stopped me. “Love, I don’t want you to see a mirror before seeing a healer.” 

That stopped me in my tracks. I swallowed, and a sharp pain in my throat reminding me that someone had been doing their best to puncture my airway two hours before, followed by an ungodly amount of screaming. I reached for my throat, but Axios caught my hand in his, shaking his head. 

I nodded, and Harry looked relieved. “I’ll have St Mungo’s send one, so we don’t have to drag Mrs Beaulieu through any more fireplaces. Our resident healer is off for the holiday.” 

Harry took his leave, and the vague tired feeling that had been nagging at me turned to full on exhaustion. I sagged into the chair, and Axios pulled me closer. Tucked into his side, I was able to relax a bit, despite the ache I felt in my body, and the sharp pain in my throat. I began to nod off, my body unable to keep going.

Through the fog of unconsciousness, I heard the gentle ebb and flow, rise and fall of Axios and Mum’s voices in conversation. 

“You kept her together when my husband died, and I will be forever grateful.”

“She was my best friend. I’m just glad that I could be there for her like she’d been for me.”

“I would warn you off ever hurting her, but it seems as if you’ve got those bases covered. She told me what you said when that bastard showed up at the school.”

Axios’ responding chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. 

“Axios?” 

“Yes ma’am?” 

“You’re exactly what my husband would have wanted for her. Don’t let it go to waste.” 

“No, ma’am.” 

The world faded away again until the door opened and Axios shifted. 

“If you could take them both to the medi-magic suite, Fairview, there is a Healer from St Mungo’s waiting.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

My body was carefully scooped into his arms, and the world rocked again. It was a soft rock, like a boat on a calm lake. I gripped his robes a little tighter, but soon he was lowering himself into a chair with my body still cradled against him. 

“Dear Merlin, the poor child. They told me what he did, but I didn’t expect…” 

“I stopped the bleeding, but I didn’t want to make it worse without proper diagnostic spells. We didn’t tell her, we didn’t want her to panic. I’ve been monitoring her breathing, and she’s been talking.” Axios’ voice sounded pained, and it made me stir. I blinked against the bright lights of the medi-magic suite, and the world spun again. 

“Hi there, honey.”

“Agnes?” It came out as the roughest croak yet. The elderly witch I’d worked under at St Mungo’s smiled at me, stroking my hair. 

“I need you not to talk, okay? I know you’re tough, and I know you’re hurting, but I need to fix your throat.   


“What do—” 

“Livvy love, don’t talk. We’ll explain it all in a bit.” I relaxed at his voice, and Agnes nodded at him. 

Her wand prodded at the sensitive skin around my throat, and she hummed quietly. She dripped a couple potions on my throat that made me twist in pain, but Axios held me steady. She had me swallow two more, one of which I recognised as a blood-replenishing potion. I looked between her and Axios in fear, but at Axios’ quiet, insistent words, I swallowed it dutifully. After the second potion, the sharp pain in my throat faded, and Agnes nodded. 

“I’m done now dear. You’ll be just fine.” 

“What happened?” My voice sounded more like my own now, the roughness soothed by whatever she’d given me. 

“In a moment, dear. Can you sit up so I can give this young man the once-over?” I nodded, and Axios helped me to sit up and slide out of his lap, into the chair next to him. While she was doing a handful of diagnostic spells, I looked around the room. 

Sanchez was sitting on a bed at the far end, awake and looking grumpy. Astoria, my friend and fellow Healer was tending to him. Kat, the Auror with the short black hair, sat next to him. Down the hall a bit further, I saw a sign that made my stomach turn. “MORGUE” in big red letters drew my attention until Agnes clucked.

“You’re just fine. I’d suggest a good meal and a good night’s rest, but otherwise, you’re free to go.” 

She repeated the process on Mum, and gave her the same clean bill of health. 

“Great. Now what happened to me?” I looked between the three of them. Mum winced, and Axios exchanged a look with Agnes. 

“The bastard sharpened the tip of his wand. When he had you, he was using it to puncture your throat.” Axios looked somewhere between livid and sick.

“He nicked your carotid. He didn’t puncture your trachea, but your larynx is very bruised, and there’s not much I can do except tell you to rest your voice as much as you can. You lost a good amount of blood, but this young man’s quick thinking and wandwork saved you.” 

I looked down at my robes, and belatedly realized the front had been soaked in blood. The warmth I’d felt had been my own blood. Unexpected tears welled in my eyes, but I nodded. 

“You’ll have a scar, but otherwise there’s no permanent damage, dear. You’ll be back to yourself by New Years.” The elderly witch bustled away in the direction of Astoria and Sanchez. 

I nodded again, swiping tears away. Axios kissed the top of my head, and I exhaled slowly. 

“I’m ok. I just…” I looked up into Axios’ face, pleading. “What are we going to do? Who else is he going to try to hurt?” 

He stared into my eyes, long and hard. “Kat? Can you take Margaret home please? We’ll follow shortly.” Kat came and ushered Mum down the hall, Axios kept his eyes on me. “We’re going to do whatever is necessary to keep you safe. There are half a dozen Aurors that will be in and around your mother’s house until he’s caught. I’m still under orders to keep you safe, and Hogwarts will be the best place for us.” 

I steeled myself and nodded. He kept a firm grip around my waist, leading me down the hall. A group of aurors in royal blue robes and black robed MACUSA agents went silent, lining either side of the corridor. I reached an empty stretch of wall, and collapsed against it. Axios moved toward me, but I held up a hand, stopping him. 

I pressed my back to the smooth wall, the cold bleeding through my robes. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. My hands shook, so I pressed them into my sides, willing them to stop. Eventually I moved them to my face, and then stood up straight. I was painfully aware of the eyes of the Aurors and American Agents on me. 

“Let’s go.” Axios nodded, still watching every move. “I’m ok. I just want to change into something that isn’t drenched in blood.” 

At that, he looked down at his own robes, and sighed. “Let me grab a fresh set too, and we’ll go. Do you want to come with me?” 

I reached out and took his hand, allowing him to lead me through the maze of desks. His wasn’t far from Harry’s office, against the far wall. 

Unlike his desk in his rooms at the school, this one’s surface was empty except for a small bulletin board. While he dug around in the magically expanded bottom drawer for a set of robes, I took a square of parchment and a self-filling quill from the top drawer. I was trying not to think of the flurry of activity in Harry’s office and around what had been a nearly-silent room last time I’d been here, so I scribbled out a message, pinning it to the board and replaced the quill.

He looked up, and a true smile filled his face as he saw I’d pinned a note that read,    
  


_ To Axios, _

_ I guess you do belong in Ravenclaw after all.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Livvy. _

He tucked me under his arm and weturned back to the hallway in time to see a petite brunette witch and a tall blond wizard stalking down the hall towards us. I shrunk back at the sight of Lucius Malfoy, his icy rage evident even from a distance. 

Hermione Granger’s mouth was set in a grim line, and they both strode into Harry’s office. 

“Well fuck.” Axios was watching the three just as carefully as I was through the wide windows. He tugged on my arm. “Come on. We don’t need to stick around for this.” 

My blood ran cold as Lucius Malfoy’s eyes landed on me from across the way, lingering on my blood soaked robes. 


	38. The Consequences

Walking back in the door made my stomach turn, but this time, Dixie jumped on us in the kitchen, and the table was fully set with three places instead of four. Mum was in the sitting room, a pot of tea set out. I left Axios with her to go upstairs and change. Kat, the short-haired Auror from before was upstairs, posted at the end of the hall. She nodded, but didn’t say a word. 

I squirmed at the door of Dad’s study, but I pushed it open anyway. It was exactly as it had been before the duel, except one of the large wrought iron candlesticks next to the fireplace was missing. I closed the door, and turned into my own room. The letters were still strewn across the bed, so I picked them up to replace them in the box. The last one had the seal was still intact, having been opened with a letter opener or knife. 

The olive green wax had a bold AF embossed in it, and I ran my finger over it, thinking of all the times I’d seen that seal and ripped open the envelope, hungry for his words. I slid the letter out of the envelope, scanning over it. It was dated just before Christmas of 1999, the first Christmas after he’d left Hogwarts. 

My eyes were drawn to one line. “All I want for Christmas is to know you’re safe and happy.” I tucked the letter into a pocket of my robes, and quickly changed. 

I took a moment and tried a spell I hadn’t tried in over a year, and was pleased to get the desired results more quickly than anticipated. I hoped that the Auror down the hall would keep what she heard to herself. 

When I came down the stairs, I was in a black skirt that reached mid-calf and a royal blue sweater. Axios sat in an armchair, Dixie sprawled over his lap, one of his hands playing with her ears. He’d changed into the fresh robes, the blue unmarred by my blood. He looked up from his teacup and the smile that he gave me made me forget the rest of the horrid day, if only for a few seconds. 

“Livvy.” His voice was warm and his dark eyes brushed up and down my body as if to make sure I was still in one piece after being upstairs without him. I greeted him with a kiss, gave Dixie a pat, and sat down next to Mum. 

“Darling, your sweetheart and I have been talking.” I didn’t like the tone of her voice, and I looked between them. Axios didn’t look pleased at her words, but Mum looked distressed. “The nice Auror that brought me home suggested something, and I think I’d like to go through with it.”

My back was ramrod straight, and I waited. “She said I could be.. What was it? Obviated?” 

“Obliviated?” My abused voice broke, and I looked helplessly between them. “No! Absolutely not.” My voice was already failing. 

“Livvy, hear her out. I don’t like this any more than you do, but just listen.” Axios held my gaze until my shoulders slumped. “Go on, Margaret.”

“Not everything. Just… Just the act of… Of… I can still feel it, in my hands. And see it.” I’d never heard Mum sound so vulnerable, and I quickly understood why Axios was asking me to hear her out. “He may not be dead, but I can’t…”

“I can’t do it.” My voice was a whisper. “But if you really want it, it needs to be done sooner than later.” I stared at my hands. I’d considered what it felt like to have someone I love die for me… I’d never considered the consequences of someone killing for me. 

“I will. On one condition.” Axios’ shoulders were squared, confident. “You can’t be in the room. You can’t watch or listen in.” 

I set the teacup down, my hands shaking hard enough I thought it was going to break. 

“Dixie. Come on girl.” She jumped down from Axios’ lap, following me into the back garden. I belatedly realized that I’d taken the wrong cloak, the black garment much too long for me and smelled of him, not my perfume. I wanted to be angry, to hate him for invading her mind and taking a piece of it away… But at the same time, how could I live with the knowledge that Mum would otherwise have to live with the memory that she tried to kill someone? 

Out here, I couldn’t find any trace of the Aurors that I knew would be watching carefully. The door opened and shut, and I kept my back to it, letting the tears fall, stinging my face in the dark, cold air. Dixie’s whining had disappeared, and I hoped she was inside with Mum. 

“I only altered it. In her mind, he fell and hit his head.” He was quiet for a moment, before going on. “I hope this doesn’t change how you feel. But I know how it feels to take a life, and it can be unbearable, even when it was someone that deserved it. I wouldn’t—“

“Thank you. For being brave enough to do what I couldn’t.” My voice was even weaker in the cold air, and I turned back around to face him. “Thank you for caring for my mum.” 

I threw my arms around him, and sobbed into his shoulder. He held me until the tears stopped. “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be doing this a lot over the next few days?” My voice was nearly gone. I couldn’t even feel embarrassed that one or more of his Auror colleagues were surely watching.

“I’ll be doing this for as long as you let me.” He kissed my forehead, and wiped the last of the freezing tears from my cheeks. “Let’s go in. We’ll have dinner with your mum, and think about the future, not the past. Alright?” 

I nodded, and we went back in. Mum seemed less distraught, and we were able to get through the evening without any more tears. 

When we were preparing to leave, she gave Axios a hug, and whispered in his ear. He returned the hug, and whispered something back, holding her hand tightly. 

Then she gave me a hug, and waved goodbye from the kitchen window as we apparated back to Hogsmead. 

We walked up to the castle, and I clung to his arm. Four more Aurors had appeared, escorting us through the sleepy village. My voice was completely gone, but we were accustomed to silence, the simple action of walking arm in arm with Axios bringing more comfort than words. The Aurors left us once we were safely in the castle, and I sighed in relief. 

We were approaching the fourth floor when he murmured, “I understand if you want to be alone, but…” 

“I don’t want to be alone,” I rasped, clinging closer. He sighed in relief, and we retired to his rooms without a further word. 


	39. The Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is smut. Period. If it’s not your thing, skip right past and we’ll see you with the plot on the other side! 
> 
> Enjoy 😉

In his rooms, I peeled my traveling cloak off, and dropped my bloodied robes in a heap. He added his own to the pile, and then I had a thought. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the room fill with steam. I stripped down to my bra and panties, and flung the door open. 

Axios was in the sitting room with a glass of firewhiskey, but came to investigate the door slamming open. His eyes got wide when he found me mostly naked and beckoning him to join me. 

“Livvy.” His voice was thick with emotion and desire, but he held himself back. “It’s been a hell of a day. Are you sure you want this now?” In response, I undid my bra and stepped out of my panties, leaving my body on full display. His eyes got wide, and he moved closer. 

“You are so beautiful.” My cheeks went pink, but I wasn’t embarrassed to display my body to him. On the contrary, I felt in control for the first time since I realized what Ben was. I  _ needed  _ this. Axios’ hands cupped my breasts carefully, caressing my nipples with his thumbs. I gasped, the nerves suddenly on fire.

I slid forward through the swirling steam and unclasped his robes, dropping them to the floor. I let my hands roam down his neck, across his shoulders, and over his chest. He moaned at my light touches, burying his hand in my hair, the other still exploring my breasts. I slid a hand from his neck to his chest, and began down the row of tiny buttons. He pulled back, looking concerned. 

“Are you sure?” 

My heart pounded against my ribs and my hands were trembling, but I nodded. “Please.” His pupils were blown wide, his breathing coming in short huffs.

I took my time picking down the line of small buttons down his shirt, each one revealing just a bit more of his solid chest. With his shirt splayed open, I took my time exploring the broad expanse with my fingertips. I traced the long scar lightly, my hands trembling. I slipped his shirt from his shoulders, standing on my toes and kissing along his neck as I did. I dropped the garment to the floor, eyeing every inch of skin that was bared to me. 

His hands slid across my bare skin and I shuddered at his firm, confident touches. He brushed his way along the top of my hip bones and across my lower stomach, around to my back, down to my waist again. 

I slipped a finger in the waistband of his slacks, dragging it teasingly back and forth. Every time I got close to the tip, his hips would jerk and I pulled away. “Livvy,” he gasped. “You tease!” 

He pinched my nipples lightly, and I ground my hips against him. He broke away, leaving me gasping as he dropped to his knees, but latched his lips around my nipple, flicking it with the tip of his tongue until I was a shaking mess in his hands. 

I pulled him back to his feet, and unbuttoned his trousers, letting them fall to the floor. I reached out for him, watching the steam swirl around my fingers, my pale hands standing in sharp relief against his tanned chest. 

His length strained against his boxers, and I ached for him. I glanced up, and through the mirror saw residual dried blood left on my skin that my earlier cleaning charms had missed. My stomach turned, and I tried to focus back on Axios’ body. I hooked my fingers under his waistband and pulled, sliding them down his muscular thighs. His heavy cock stood proudly from his hips, and I itched to take him in hand. 

Instead, I pulled him into the water with me. I let the water flow over my skin, slipping my hands over the smooth skin of the man in front of me. I sighed as his hands mirrored my own efforts. I traced the contours of his chest and stomach as his hands explored my legs until I surged back up to capture his mouth with mine again. 

I moaned as his hands moved from my thighs to my waist and he squeezed. I drew back to take in his face and he grinned. “Damn Livvy if I knew this is what it would be like…” He reached for a bottle of soap that he poured into his palms, working it into a rich, lemon-scented lather. He smoothed it over my skin, starting with my blood-stained shoulders and working across my chest and down the rest of my body, as if he was washing the horrors of the day away. 

I moaned as his hands worked over every curve of my body, down and back up again, pulling me into him, kissing me until my head spun. The water rinsed away the soap but left tingling paths where he’d touched me. I reached behind myself and turned off the water, leading him out of the shower and drying us with a wave of my wand. 

He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, trapping his length between my core and his stomach. I ground my hips against him, and he groaned as he lay back on the bed. I slid back, and felt his hard length quiver as my core dragged across it, eliciting a groan and his hips to jerk. His golden skin looked so inviting next to the navy sheets, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from his body.

Axios experimented in dragging his fingertips over my skin, watching with interest as I shuddered when he brushed his thumbs along the inside of my thighs, just above my knees. I dove down, capturing his mouth with mine, and wiggled my hips so the tip of his throbbing cock pressed against the entrance of my cunt. He groaned as I pressed down, filling myself with him. He was longer and thicker than Ben had been, and I had to pause when our hips met to allow my body to adjust to the delicious stretch and fullness of him inside me. 

I threw my head back gasping, and it was my turn to whimper when his lips found my throat. The spot that had been ripped open and healed was tender, but Axios’ lips were light and careful; his message was clear. His fingers dug into my hips, pulling me down onto him. 

I slid forward, unsheathing him, and ground down onto him. He worked his hips in tandem with mine, and the heat in my stomach quickly made my vision blur and my legs shake. His dark eyes threatened to envelope me, and his body tensed beneath me. His muscular thighs and abs tightened, and he trembled on the edge of ecstasy before he pulled me into a searing kiss, throwing us both into freefall. His hips pumped against mine, and I cried out with every twitch of his cock inside me. 

I collapsed on his chest, completely spent. He dropped his head back into the pillow, breathing hard. His hands smoothed down my back, and brushed my hair from my face. I kept my eyes closed, getting lost in his touches. 

He rolled carefully, simultaneously unsheathing himself and cradling me against him; the slick of our combined arousal and release coating my thighs. He shifted, and with a wave and whisper the mess was vanished. He pulled the sheets around us, and extinguished the candles. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Livvy.” He pressed a kiss to my temple, and enveloped my body with his. 


	40. The Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand back to the plot. Happy reading!

December 25, 2006

Every inch of my body hurt. My throat was on fire, my thighs were sore, and my head pounded; I almost missed the feather light touches over my back. 

The memories from the previous day crashed down around me, and I squeezed my eyes shut against them. I stiffened, my heart pounding as I remembered why my throat hurt. 

“It’s okay love. I’ve got you.” Axios’ whispered words calmed me, and I opened my eyes. I was tucked into his chest again, the smooth expanse warm and safe. I sighed in relief, but it sent a spasm through my throat. 

“Here, sit up so you can take this.” A vial of viscous orange potion invaded my line of sight. It was a moderate pain relief potion, but one that wouldn’t make me tired or groggy. 

I tried to sit up, and ended up just letting him pull me up, my body protesting every movement. I swallowed the potion, and the pain in my throat and head diminished. 

“Thank you.” My voice was still rough, but it would be for a couple days. He pulled me back down into the safety of the sheets and his arms. 

“Happy Christmas, my love.” He kissed me gently, and I smiled against his lips. 

“Happy Christmas.” I had no intentions of letting the man in my arms leave me today. Luckily, he wouldn’t be letting me out of his sight, and I suspected that would be the case even if he hadn’t been under orders. His arms were steel around me, and that suited me just fine. 

“Minerva said they’re going to do brunch instead of breakfast, so we have time before we need to make an appearance… and speaking of Minerva, we’ll need to inform her at some point, of what happened last night and that you’re mine.” His voice had a possessive, protective edge to it that made me want to melt.

I nodded. “Sooner is probably better than later. Before the rest of the students come back.”

He brushed my hair from my face, and smiled. “Do you want to open your gifts or shower first?” 

“Shower first.” I hoped the warm water would soothe the stiffness from my joints. I wasn’t in pain, but it was still a distinctly uncomfortable sensation. He helped me from the bed, and left me to turn on the shower. In the morning light I admired how the muscles in his back rippled under the gold satiny skin; silvery scars of varying sizes littered his back. 

In the shower he repeated his ministrations from last night, and this time I got to return the favor. As I was smoothing the lemony soap across his skin, he hummed his appreciation. “I could get used to this.” His lazy grin melted away under my lips. 

We finished in the shower, and I pulled on a set of emerald robes while he dressed in charcoal grey. “Even Harry wouldn’t be caught in uniform on Christmas,” he smirked. We settled on the sofa, and he pulled me close before summoning our gifts from the table. 

We worked our way through the stacks until we both had a sizable pile of new books and sweets. I was relieved when the gift from Mathieu ended up being another book, and I quickly set it aside without examining it. 

The box on the bottom was the largest, and I was dying with curiosity because Axios made me wait to open it last. I insisted that if I had to open his last, he had to wait to open the one from me as well. The box was neatly wrapped in red paper, a gold satin ribbon tied around it. 

He pulled me close, his arms wrapped comfortably around my waist. I untied the ribbon and let it fall, and pried the lid off. Inside was a black leather Muggle doctor’s bag. I realized with a start it was nearly identical to the one my father had carried. 

“It’s charmed to hold everything you might need and more. Plus a cushioning charm so everything is safe in case you need to summon it.” 

For what felt like the millionth time that week, my eyes filled with tears. “It’s perfect.” I lifted it from the box running my fingers over the supple leather. “I have no idea how you knew though.” 

I tore my eyes from the gift to catch him grinning at me. He wasn’t going to tell me how he knew. So I leaned over and kissed the self-satisfaction from his lips. He deepened the kiss, and I clung to him.

“Okay enough of me being weepy. Open yours.” I pushed the silver wrapped package toward him, and waited with a smile. 

He peeled back the silver paper, and his grin grew wider. The old-fashioned pocket watch glinted against the velvet box, a large bear etched into the inside of the cover. The watchface itself was mother-of-pearl, and the time changed based on the location of who he was missing.

“I thought it might be good for times that you’re abroad for missions or seeing your family…” I trailed off, biting my lip.

“Livvy it’s perfect. Thank you.” He set it aside, pulling me into a deep, sensual kiss. I pulled back before I lost my head entirely. 

“And I actually have one more thing. It’s not really a gift… but I found it last night and I wanted to share.”

He looked uncertain, but I slipped the envelope from my robes and slid open the letter. 

“The first Christmas after you left Hogwarts, you wrote to me and said ‘All I want for Christmas is to know you’re happy and safe.’ Well… it took a couple years, but I wanted you to know that you got your Christmas wish. I’m safe, because of you. And I’ve never been happier than I am knowing that you’re mine.”

To prove my point, I pointed my wand in front of us, and whispered, “Expecto Patronum.” A small, silvery dog that very strongly resembled a teddy bear tumbled to the ground at our feet. Axios’ eyes were wide, and he broke out into the biggest grin I’d ever seen. 

“Livvy you did it! But what memory…?” He trailed off, looking confused, obviously thinking of the events of last night, and fear of what was to come.

“All of the ones with you.” He grinned again, pulling me into another kiss. 

~~~

I stared at the jagged scar in the mirror. It probably wasn’t as big as I was making it out to be, but it felt so prominent. We were supposed to be going down to brunch, but I’d caught sight of it and was frozen where I stood. 

“Livvy come on, we’re already—“ he stopped as he stepped into the bathroom. “Are you okay?” His voice turned almost unbearably soft. 

“It’s so ugly.” Axios seemed to understand that this wasn’t about my vanity. The man that had done this to me was ugly. His acts were ugly. His permanent mark on my skin was an ugly reminder of it all. “I’d lengthen my collar but I’m rubbish at alteration spells. Transfiguration was never my strong suit.” 

He cocked his head. “Well lucky for you I got pretty good at them. Come here.” I turned towards him, an eyebrow raised. He laughed at my skepticism. “Aurors learn all kinds of odds and ends, plus you know, my mother.” He concentrated on my collar and then nodded. Turning back to the mirror, the high collar covered the scar and looked rather nice. The emerald green against my auburn hair was quite striking. I left it down, and hoped it would be enough to distract from my neck. 

“Thank you.” It was a relief to know I wouldn’t have to explain it now. I would find a way later. He was already pulling me out into the corridor, headed for the Great Hall. I looped my arm through his, and didn’t bother stepping away when we turned into the Hall. 

There were a few mutters, and many curious eyes, but halfway across the hall, the mutters turned to giggles and Hannah pointed over our heads. A sprig of mistletoe was hovering above us, and my cheeks went pink. 

I turned to Axios as he was muttering, “No time like the present!” 

“Wha—“ He had his arms wrapped around me and was sweeping me backwards into a kiss before I could even finish the word. Parallel as I was to the floor, I just had to wait until he was finished and stand me back on my feet. 

“Consider Minerva told,” he murmured against my lips, and righted us. My face was on fire, worsened by Axios’ triumphant grin. I watched in horror as Artimus passed several pieces of gold to Minerva, and Aurora gave a smug “I-told-you-so” to her husband Eric. The students’ expressions fell in various categories between shock, awe, and in the case of several 6th and 7th years, disappointment. 

He pulled me into two empty chairs at Minerva’s table as I talked myself out of hexing him. 

“Happy Christmas!” Hannah grinned at me, obviously pleased. 

“You didn’t,” I hissed at her. 

“I did.” Aurora piped up with a self-satisfied grin of her own. “I was tired of waiting, and after we heard what happened last night…” 

“But who...” I looked at Axios and he held up his hands innocently. 

“Sorry dear. But you have to admit you can’t do anything halfway.” The voice behind me made me jump, and Marta dragged a vaguely familiar man into the last remaining chairs. 

“To be fair honey, it wasn’t her fault,” the man admonished her lightly. Axios glared at him. “Or yours, Fairview. We all would have done the same in your place.” 

His American accent made me stiffen until I realized, “you were there last night. You’re MACUSA.” He nodded. “And you’re the one that’s been following me around every time I step off the grounds! 

“You slippery Slytherin,” I turned on Marta. “He’s a diplomat’ and I’m a three headed dragon named Wendy.” My voice was going to give out if I kept going this way. 

“Wait, every time you’ve been off the grounds? YOU’VE BEEN HERE?!” Marta was giving her husband a look that could have killed a lesser man.

“Officially, as Aurors and agents, we are diplomats. Technically.” Axios sounded amused. 

“Honey, I would have told you if…” She glared again, and it worked as effectively as a tongue-tie jinx. 

“And you knew!” I glared at Axios. “You could’ve at least warned me.” 

“Or me!” Marta turned her glare to my lover. 

Minerva was watching the exchange with a mildly interested expression. I glared at her next. “Now you’re going to tell me that’s why you didn’t wait for my acceptance.” 

She bobbed her head, and I swore loud enough for several students at surrounding tables to look around. I put a hand to my throat, the exclamation burning my throat.

“I am sorry about that. We needed to get you away from the hospital to get a clear shot at him.” Marta’s American spoke up. Marta and Hannah at least looked surprised. Eric was very interested in his roast beef, but the rest of the table seemed to want to know exactly what was happening. Artimus had a forkful of food hovering halfway between his plate and his mouth, his eyes wide as they bounced around the table. 

“The Ministry wasn’t told until Minerva already had you placed, but they agreed with the plan.” Axios glared at Marta’s husband as he spoke. “You were already working here often enough, it seemed the best course of action, and a way to avoid the incident from worsening because the bloody Americans can’t do anything by the book. They didn’t even tell me until I started digging after Halloween, but then they realized it had the added bonus of letting me keep an eye on you.” Axios said as he eased an arm around the back of my chair, and I realized he was trying to discreetly stop my shaking when the tremors calmed at his touch. 

“I would like to cut in and reiterate that what I said still stands. I wanted the best of the best, and only you would do.” Minerva looked coolly at the two men currently digging themselves into their graves. “I simply… accelerated the process.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Anything else we need to get out in the open?” I glared at Axios. 

“Well Matt’s going to be heartbroken, but I’m pretty sure he knew it wasn’t going to last. I did tell him you’d end up picking Fairview.” Neville shrugged. 

I dropped my face into my hands. Mathieu. How had I forgotten about him again?

“And for the record, I love you more than anything.” The last was whispered in my ear, for only me to hear. 

I whispered back, “I know. You aren’t that good of a liar.” 

He chuckled, leaning in and kissing my forehead. 

“Good Merlin you two are going to be intolerable.” Marta was watching us in mock disgust. 

Neville muttered something that made Aurora and Hannah snicker, but I didn’t catch anything other than “Malfoy.” I ignored it.

“Consider it payback for making me go flying.” I took a sip of cider, and almost spat it back out when I saw Axios’ incredulous expression. 

“She got you to fly?! I’ve been trying for ten bloody years and she gets you in the first three months?!” 

I left him to his outrage and turned to Hannah. 

“So are you having a nice Christmas?” My voice was already down to a whisper and she grinned. 


	41. The Plans

Brunch went a bit more smoothly once all the outrage boiled down, and by the end I was even warming to Marta’s American husband. His name was Jake, and he was much more likable when he wasn’t staring at me from hidden corners. Most of the staff assembled in the staff common room after brunch, and I settled in to watch Axios play Minerva in chess. I thought back to all the games I’d watched, and wondered if I’d be doing it for the rest of my life. 

I couldn’t tear my eyes from his face, until she asked, “So will we need to shuffle personal quarters?” My eyes shot to her, and she returned my stare calmly. 

“We just started--” my voice was barely a whisper. Axios was pressing his hand to his mouth, and doing a rather poor job of repressing his amusement. 

“I just thought it may be… Uncomfortable, with Matthieu next door.” Her lips twitched as overwhelming dread washed over me. 

“We’re all adults. I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I insisted, and she pursed her lips. 

“Then I don’t expect to hear of any more students brought to tears by dueling professors.” She shot Axios a glare over the chessboard, and he looked sheepishly away. 

“Sorry about that, Minerva.” 

“As you should be. I lost five galleons to Aurora on that one. I said you’d make it til after Christmas before you lost your head. Though I was at a disadvantage, I didn’t know you’d be guarding her at all times.” Axios chuckled.

“Is there anything you lot won’t bet on?” 

“Severus was the worst, he nearly always won,” Aurora piped in, rolling her eyes. 

“He probably cheated,” Neville spat from the other side of the room. 

“Bloody hell, Nev. You’d think dressing him up in your gran’s clothes would placate you a bit,” Axios raised an eyebrow at his friend. 

“Do you remember how angry he was at Remus? I was honestly afraid Severus was going to poison him at breakfast,” Aurora snickered. Minerva rolled her eyes. 

“He survived.” Then she seemed to catch what she’d said, and pressed her lips into a tight line. We all fell quiet, until there was a loud explosion, and Neville jumped up, swearing as a cloud of smoke engulfed him. 

The chess board was overturned as Axios jumped to his feet, his wand drawn. The rest of us were in various stages of drawing our own as the smoke cleared, revealing Neville holding a large potted plant. It reminded me of baby’s breath flowers, but they were metallic-looking and smoking slightly. 

Axios lowered his wand marginally. “What in the name of Merlin’s—“

“It’s Dragon’s Breath! How lovely,” Aurora snickered. Neville glared at her, and gingerly turned over the gift tag on it. 

“Bloody hell Aurora. Could you not have warned me?” Neville sighed, putting the pot down on the table. 

“To be fair, it was Draco and Rose’s idea, and it didn’t explode on me! What did you do to it to make it do that?” Aurora looked nonplussed. 

“I didn’t do anything to it! I don’t even know enough about it to— Hold on. Why are you and Rose and Draco going in on a gift for me together?” 

The staff, now they were sure they weren’t being attacked, mostly went back to their activities. Axios and Minerva were resetting the board, with Minerva having an argument with one of her knights regarding her pawn placements. I left Axios’ side to sit next to Neville and examine the plant. 

“We thought it would be a good momento for your help with our Runes,” Aurora and Eric had taken chairs across from Neville, and Neville’s face was screwed up in confusion. 

“A flower blooming in a foreign land returns home to thrive in ash and embers,” Aurora said flatly, as if it were obvious. Neville glanced at me, and I shrugged. Aurora rolled her eyes. “Draco said you were the one that said it was most liking referring to Dragon’s Breath, and with our recent breakthrough, we thought it would be a fun gift.” She grinned, and Neville finally seemed to understand. I was still lost, but it didn’t matter much. 

“Which hand did you touch it with?” I asked, after reading the care tag tucked near the base of the plant. He went back to looking confused. 

“If it was the hand that was bitten by the pinchillious, you probably triggered it to warm itself,” I waved the tag at him. “It likes heat, not ice cold hands.” His mouth formed an “oh,” and looked down at his left hand. 

“That actually makes sense.” Neville snatched the tag and read it several times over. 

“Bloody Ravenclaws, ruining my fun,” Aurora whined good naturedly. “I was hoping it was going to explode again.” She winked conspiratorially at me, and I shook my head. 

“Hey! Filius, Axios, and a handful of other former Ravenclaws voiced their objections, and I grinned. 

“First dance lessons and now a bloody explosive plant,” Neville was mumbling. I left him to his ire and slid into the gap between Axios’ hip and the arm of the chair, effectively settling perpendicularly in his lap. Minerva rolled her eyes but I pretended not to notice. If she wanted to bet on my relationship, she could deal with the outcomes. 

***

“I know you’re still healing, so you can tell me no. But I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to see Mum and Dad tomorrow. They wanted to do dinner, one of Dad’s friends is coming with his new girlfriend, but wanted to do tea with just us first if you were up for it.” He sounded nonchalant but I could practically hear his heart pounding in his chest from where I was brushing my teeth before bed that night. 

I took a moment to rinse out my mouth, taking my time to dry my mouth and my hands before joining him in bed. I knew the suspense was killing him, and I couldn’t keep my face straight as I cuddled up next to him. 

“I would love to meet them.” I planted a kiss on his bare shoulder, and he heaved a sigh. “Did you actually think I’d say no?” 

“I hoped you wouldn’t, but you’ve been through a lot this week already. And the ball is Sunday night too, if you’re still willing to go with me.” 

“...Ball?” I blinked up at him in confusion. 

“The ministry ball. I asked if you would go as my plus one before the term ended.” He looked worried.

“Oh. Right. In the middle of the dating but not dating fiasco. Right.” I paused. “You never said it was a ball.” 

“Oops.” he gave me a mischievous smile. 

I smacked his arm lightly. “Oops my arse. I need a dress!” 

“You have a very nice arse. And I hear you looked stunning at the start of term party. Why not wear that?” 

“You heard that from who?” I turned to stare him down. 

“Longbottom might’ve said something, though I’m fairly certain that was Hannah’s doing. Marta definitely said something, multiple times. Minerva and Aurora might’ve mentioned it… Do you want me to keep going?” 

I just blinked at him again. He shrugged. “If the women in this castle have one thing going for them, it’s that they’re all very much on the same page. I told them all the same thing though.”

“Mm? What did you tell them?” I arched an eyebrow, and he brought his hands up to cup my face. 

“That I’ve never seen you look anything less than breathtaking.” 

“And now I see why everyone was so excited to see that we’re finally together.” I laughed, and kissed him. “Though now you’ve seen me at my absolute worst, with a literal bloody hole in my neck so if you’re not going to run now…”

He chuckled, and gestured to the scar that ran down his ribs, disappearing under the navy sheet. “We’ll call it even.” 

“Even, but that doesn’t fix my wardrobe problem.” I pushed him back into the pillows, and he rolled his eyes. 

“I did tell you my mum is a designer right? Well it just so happens formalwear is her specialty. Celestina Warbeck is particularly fond of Mum’s designs, and so is Vera Greengrass. I’d be willing to bet she corners you about what you plan on wearing before tea is over, and she’ll be offended if you tell her no when she offers to design your dress.” My mouth hung open in what I was willing to bet was a rather unattractive manner. 

“Is this why you didn’t tell me it was a ball?”

“Well… Not at first. But when Mum brought it up… I figured it would be the safest plan of action.” I huffed in exasperation, and he grinned. 

“She’ll be ecstatic if you let her. She always wished she had a daughter to dress up, but she got stuck with me.” He laughed. “Really. She’s going to love you, and this will be the perfect way to get to know her.” He surged up, pinning my arms to my side and kissing me until I giggled.

“Fine! If she offers, I promise not to tell her no. But if she doesn’t, you’re going to be the one stuck last minute dress shopping with me, and I promise you’ll hate it.” He just grinned again, letting my arms go, but keeping a tight hold on my waist so I couldn’t move away; not that I wanted to. 

He kissed me again, this time capturing my mouth with his. He explored every bit of my mouth thoroughly, eliciting gasps and moans as he did so. He didn’t stop until I was putty in his hands, unable to think beyond his body against mine. 

This time was different, as I let him take charge. He caged me under his body and made me beg for him to take me. He spent the time worshiping every inch of my skin he could reach, kissing, nibbling and sucking. With him hovering over me rather than reclined beneath me, I got a better sense of just how physically powerful he was. 

That alone was enough to send a shiver of thrill down my spine; he noticed, and took full advantage. I could feel the muscles of his back flex as he carefully entered me, filling and stretching as if he hadn’t been nestled between my legs less than a full day before. 

I ran my hands over his back as he paused to let me adjust, and he let his eyes flutter closed. When he opened his eyes again, I felt as if our connection surpassed sex or love. It was our souls intertwined and melded into something beautiful. 

We made love slowly, without urgency or desperation. When I came I was afraid I’d left marks in his skin with my nails, but he shook his head, telling me if I left a mark, it was a mark he’d wear proudly. 

Falling asleep naked in his arms was the icing on the cake, and it didn’t take me long to drift off, feeling safe and so loved. 

  
  


***

December 26, 2006

“I just realized I can’t even remember your parents’ names!” I was holding up a set of amethyst robes with one hand and a set of silver with the other, and I was looking at Axios in the mirror, horrified. 

“Wear the grey, and Mum’s name is Cassia, Dad’s is Anthony.” Axios was buttoning up his shirt, looking totally relaxed. He looked up at me, grinning. “They’re going to adore you, love. They’ve spent enough time listening to me rave about you, it’ll be like they already know you.” 

I dropped the amethyst robes on the bed, and pulled on the silver, smoothing them down, looking carefully for any imperfections. The worst one I found was the scar on my neck, and there wasn’t much I could do about it, short of having Axios lengthen yet another one of my collars. 

I was still staring at it when Axios came up behind me, and slipped his arms around my waist. “Don’t fret over it. They won’t say anything.” I nodded, but couldn’t tear my eyes away until he blocked my way to the mirror. “Livvy.” He drew me close until I had to throw my head all the way back to look him in the eye. In doing so, it left my neck completely bare, and he brushed his thumb over it, a feather light touch caressing the delicate skin around the scar. 

“Livvy you are perfect, scar or no scar. It hasn’t changed a thing.” I blinked away the tears that had gathered in the corners of my eyes and fisted the front of his shirt. 

“I love you, Axios.”

“I love you, Vivienne.” My name sounded foreign from his lips, but the kiss that followed was anything but. 

“If you keep doing that, we’ll never make it on time,” I complained when he finally drew back to his full height. Despite Bardolf’s insistence that he was short, Axios still towered over me. He just smiled. 

He was tugging on his now-familiar aurors robes and ‍whistling as he retreated into the sitting room. A quick swipe of eyeliner and lipstick later, I deemed myself presentable and joined him in the sitting room to don our cloaks and step through the fireplace. 

On the other side, I joined Axios in a light, spacious entrance hall with a view of the sea. I could smell the salt, but the warm scent of cinnamon was more prevalent and I immediately felt at home. It smelled like Axios. 

A tall, voluptuous woman with inky curls and equally dark eyes smiled from the doorway, holding her arms wide for Axios. He greeted her with a warm embrace, giving a similar greeting to the man behind her. He returned to my side, positively beaming as he wrapped an arm around my waist. 

“Mum, Dad. This is Livvy.” 


	42. The Fairviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viv meets Axios' parents, and some unexpected guests show up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long chapter, but its important!

December 26, 2006

Cassia and Anthony were all smiles, and they immediately put me at ease. Cassia opened her arms for me, and she pulled me into a tight hug. The smell of cinnamon was almost overwhelming, but I felt just as safe in her arms as I did in her son’s. She’d gifted him her hair as well as her fathomless eyes that pulled you in, and most importantly, her warmth. 

Anthony likewise welcomed me with a hug, but was gentler. His hair was light golden brown; sun bleached if I had to guess by the deep golden tan of his skin, and starting to streak with grey at his temples. His eyes were a deep ocean blue, and crinkled when he smiled. This is where Axios got his easy smile and gentle demeanor. Axios was a perfect blend of his parents, and I was acutely aware of it now I was standing among the three Fairviews.

“We’re so glad to finally meet you, dear. Axios has spoken of you often.” Her Greek accent was faint, but I liked it. Her words were just as warm as she was. Cassia patted Axios’ arm affectionately, and ushered us into a large sitting room. It was just as light and airy as the entryway, and I was amazed at how at ease I felt so quickly. 

Axios pulled me down beside him onto a comfortable sofa, while his mother lounged across another. 

“Axios tells me that your father was a doctor, is that right?” Anthony settled into a comfortable-looking armchair, looking at me expectantly. My surprise must’ve shown, because he chuckled. “I’ve worked with many muggles over the course of my career, and am familiar with their terminology.” I felt my cheeks get hot, and I cursed myself for not taking a dose of the anti-blush potion before coming. 

“I see. Yes, my father was a doctor before he passed away. My mother is a linguist.” 

His eyebrows rose, and he leaned forward. “Oh? Which languages is she most familiar with?” 

“French is her main focus, it’s how she met my father. But she does a fair bit of work in Spanish and Italian as well. She has a passion for Latin, but there are so few that use it beyond limited scopes…” I trailed off, my face getting hot again. 

“Parles-vous français, mademoiselle?” 

“Oui, monsieur. Mon père était français.” 

Cassia clucked her tongue at him, and it was Anthony’s turn to look abashed. 

Axios grinned. “Dad’s amazing with languages. You could sit here and talk conjugations all night if you really wanted.” 

“Only if you wanted to be bored to death, dear.” Cassia’s smile belied her words, and she looked over her husband, pride glittering in her onyx eyes. She turned them back on me. “And you are a healer yourself, if I remember correctly.”

“Somehow we always missed you when this one landed himself at St Mungo’s though.” Anthony cast his eyes over his son, clearly remembering the multiple times they’d been summoned. 

“She was busy. She had more than just me to worry about.” Axios waved his father off. That wasn’t strictly true, I’d just always made a point of being gone before they arrived to keep them from seeing some random girl weeping over their son, though now I thought about it I was sure I’d at least glimpsed them a few times.

“It doesn’t matter now. We can clearly see why he has been so taken by you for so long.” Cassia smiled widely, evidently delighted that Axios had snagged me after a decade and some change. 

Axios shook his head, but couldn’t stop smiling. Much to my delight and Axios’ humiliation, Cassia pulled out the family photo album, and wasted no time in showing me pictures from his childhood. 

I was captivated by Axios’ childhood photos, his dark curls messy on Christmas mornings and his little league quidditch teams lined up with their miniature brooms. When we got to his school years, I started telling them stories of the mischief we had gotten into. 

They roared with laughter when I told them about the time he’d made a mistake with his slickening potion and ended up with a strong adhesive instead, landing him a month of detention with Professor Snape. Professor Snape hadn’t found it as funny as we had when he glued himself to the dungeon wall. 

As it turned out, Anthony had been in school with Professor Snape, albeit several years ahead and in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin like our potions master. He was also on the Hogwarts Board of Governors, and had since had the pleasure of becoming acquainted via his portrait in the Headmistress’s office. He snickered at the thought of Severus Snape stuck to the dungeon wall almost as heartily as we did. 

“I’d just like to remind you of the time you mistook Professor Sprout’s flutterby bushes for Venomous Tentacula trimmings and panicked.” Axios chuckled. 

My cheeks went red even as I laughed at the memory. “I jumped on Dan in front of that girl he liked and he didn’t forgive me for ages. Slytherins sure can hold a grudge,” I laughed. “Hazel thought it was brilliant though. If I recall, you chased me around the castle with a potted flutterby bush for weeks after that. Umbridge kept asking why you had a plant and you told her you were babysitting it for a Hufflepuff.”

“Preston Higglebee. I’m still amazed he let me borrow it for so long. I think it was when he saw me trying to hover it over the swamp left by the Weasley twins that he finally took it back.” Axios chuckled. 

“There was also the time that you followed Professor Lupin around for nearly two weeks begging him to teach you that charm he used to stick Peeves’ tongue to the roof of his mouth. I got it out of him on the first try.”

“I never did ask… How did you convince him to tell you?” 

“I told him I was going to use it on you.” I smiled sweetly at his mock outrage. Anthony ended up doubled over, howling with laughter and Cassia looked over me with approval clear in her eyes. 

My face hurt from smiling so much, but as I looked over the next page, my smile faltered. There was a photo of a young Axios and I waving at the camera. The grass was green behind us, the surface of the black lake sparkling in the summer sun. 

“I remember that day.” Axios ran his fingers down the page. 

“I do too.” His parents looked between us, their curiosity piqued. 

“It was the last day of term. It was the last time we saw each other as students.” He said it more as an explanation to his parents, but it made me sad. 

“You sent me an owl two weeks later to tell me you were joining the Aurors. I was so scared I was never going to see you again…” I trailed off, still staring at the picture. His arm came back around me, and I leaned into him. 

“And look at us now.” His soft addition made the bittersweet memory sweeter, and I almost forgot his parents were watching when he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I looked up to see both Cassia and Anthony watching closely, and my face burned. 

Cassia’s wide smile and Anthony’s smirk told me that whatever they’d been expecting, this wasn’t it, but they were pleased to be proven wrong. 

“Would you like to come help me prepare tea?” Cassia’s question promised something more, and I readily agreed. Leaving Axios’ side would have given me pause anywhere else, but I felt pleasantly secure in the airy home. 

Cassia began to pull together tea, sandwiches and scones, and she tasked me with making the tea. “I have spent the last twelve years hearing your name, and I feared it would be all for naught. You have proven me wrong. You make my son happy.” 

I felt the heat creeping across my skin even as my heart leapt in my chest. “Axios is… he’s…” She watched me struggle for the words, a gentle, maternal smile on her face. The window behind her made her dark eyes seem deeper; I couldn’t tell where her pupil ended and her iris started. It was almost hypnotic. 

“He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.” I looked down at my hands, and she chuckled. A deep, throaty sound not unlike Marta’s laugh. I smile, looking back up at her. The change in perspective changed my view of the window, and I felt the blood drain from my face. 

Cassia’s eyes went wide as a scream tore from my throat, the barely-healed vocal chords protesting. Axios and his father joined us, wands drawn, their bodies solidly between us and the window. The face in the window had gone, but all it took was my fingers to my ruined throat for Axios to know exactly what had brought me to my knees. 

He yelled for us to stay put, sprinting out the door. I was sobbing now, Cassia’s arm across my chest and shoulders holding me up. She was chanting in a language I didn’t know but suspected was Greek, and Anthony was throwing up extra protective spells and wards around the home and property.

Axios was back minutes later; it felt like hours or days, even with the solid arms that had once cradled him holding me. I was transferred between Axios and his mother, Axios tucking my head under his chin, Cassia stroking my hair. Anthony looked grim, his wand still gripped tightly before him. 

“I saw him. But he’s gone, love. You’re safe.”

“But how?” My voice sounded so small. I felt Axios shift, looking to his father for answers. 

“I don’t know.” He sounded frustrated. “My wards have never failed before. The house is unplottable, spelled and warded against anyone with the slightest malicious intent to any of its occupants or guests. Nobody should have been able to get within half a mile of here without me knowing immediately.” I looked up, and Anthony’s deep ocean eyes met mine. I could feel the anguish there. “You were supposed to be safe here. I am so sorry.” 

“No! I’m sorry… He wouldn’t... If I wasn’t…” 

The tea kettle began to whistle behind us, and I jumped, stopping the sentence I’d been attempting to spit out. 

“It’s just the kettle. I’ve got you.” Axios’ breath against my neck and his arm around my waist were keeping me grounded, calming me. I closed my eyes, focusing on him until I thought I had my emotions under control again. I opened my eyes to an empty kitchen. Axios’ jaw was set, but his eyes were soft when I met them. 

“Are you okay, love? We don’t have to stay for dinner. We can go back to the castle.” I shook my head.

“He’s gone. I’m not going to let him keep disrupting our lives… I want to stay.” He studied me for several heartbeats before nodding once. 

“Alright. Dad said there would be a few more people joining us, and I don’t think he’ll try anything with even more people here.” I shook my head. 

“He won’t. He’s a coward… Everyone he picked on was weaker than he was.” I dropped my eyes, shame forcing heat into my cheeks again. 

“It’s not your fault love. But he’s gone. I’m going to let Harry know, and then we’re going to have a nice evening.” I nodded, and he pulled me close again, pressing a kiss into my hair. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Can I clean up my face before we go back to your parents though?” He chuckled, but showed me to the bathroom to fix my makeup. It took a few cosmetic charms to make myself presentable again, but I found the time was just as helpful. 

Cassia had a teacup ready for me when I returned, a worried expressing marring her pretty features. Anthony and Axios were standing over what appeared to be Anthony’s desk in a room across from the sitting room, talking in low tones. I left them to it, taking a seat across from Cassia.

“Are you feeling better, dear? Do you need anything?” Cassia’s concern was touching, but I shook my head. 

“I’m fine, really. But thank you.” She nodded, but didn’t look one hundred percent convinced. Like mother, like son it seemed. She let it go, asking if I was ready for the ball. When I admitted I’d just found out it was a ball the night before, she rolled her eyes in the direction of her husband and son.

“Men simply don’t understand. Do you have a dress?” 

“I have one, but I don’t know if it’s suitable.” She clapped her hands together.

“Then we must err on the side of caution and simply design one for the occasion!”

“That’s not necessary, especially on such short notice, I--” I felt the tell-tale heat creeping across my cheeks as she cut me off, and I silently cursed her son for being right. 

“It is plenty of time, and we must have you looking your best! Come, let us get your measurements before the others arrive!” I swallowed my protests, remembering my promise to Axios the night before. She pulled me down a hall into an airy room with a full wall of windows. There were bolts of cloth and samples of lace and beading covering one wall, a large inspiration board with sketches of various sizes on another. Some of the sketches had names listed in a corner, and I caught one I recognized. 

“Are you making Astoria Greengrass’s dress?” 

“I made her mother and sister’s as well. They’ve been dear friends for years…” she was rummaging through a drawer, pulling out a measuring tape, a sketch book and several pencils. 

“Come here, dear.” She had me strip off my outer robe, perching me on a wide pedestal that raised from the middle of the floor and put her charmed measuring tape to work. It felt rather like being back in Ollivander’s to get my first wand, but the woman in front of me chattered happily about cuts, colors, necklines, silhouettes, and more. She sketched several different styles while the measuring tape worked, and when it was done, she was smiling broadly. 

“Come now. We can finish in the sitting room.” She was pulling me back down the hall when I heard the floo, and Anthony inviting someone in. Axios joined us, slipping his arm around me when one of the newcomers came into view. 

“Hermione?” Axios sounded as confused as I felt. He turned to his mother. “I thought you said you were just inviting Lucius and his new—“ 

Lucius Malfoy stepped into the room behind her, slipping a protective arm around her waist, a smirk playing at his lips. Hermione glanced up at him, then rolled her eyes at his smug expression. 

“...oh.” Axios recovered far more quickly than I did at the surprise. Hermione Granger was lauded as The Brightest Witch of Our Age, and arguably the most famous muggleborn in Europe. And she was… With? Dating?  _ Lucius Malfoy?  _ I wasn’t sure if I would be able to wrap my head around that one anytime soon. It did make the scene at the Ministry make more sense, though. 

Axios reached out a hand to shake Lucius’, stepping around me slightly. Lucius did the same around Hermione, giving me time to gather myself enough to be polite. “I thought  _ The Prophet  _ was full of it again.” Axios murmured sheepishly. 

Anthony smothered an amused chuckle by clearing his throat. “Lucius, you know Axios, but this is his sweetheart, Vivienne Beaulieu. Vivienne, this is Lucius.” 

Hermione spoke up before I could greet him. “Don’t mind him. He’s having far too much fun with the shock value.” She rolled her eyes again, a good natured smile brightening her face. 

“Lord Malfoy.” I bobbed my head, not sure I was ready to get any closer to the man than I had to. 

“Please call me Lucius. We’re all friends here.” He gave a small smile, and thankfully didn’t reach for my hand. I just bobbed my head again. Axios squeezed me a little tighter, and I leaned into him. I was suddenly second guessing my decision to stay. 

Cassia ushered us into the sitting room, where Axios and I reclaimed our spots on the sofa, Lucius and Hermione across from us, with his parents in the armchairs on either side. The arrangement effectively split the room with women on one side and men on the other, which suited us just fine. 

Cassia picked up her sketchbook, and said to Hermione, “we are designing her dress for your ball! Which do you think suits her?” They flipped through a few sketches, while my mind raced.  _ Your  _ ball. What did that mean? She wasn’t Minister of Magic yet, though most people believed she would be eventually. 

“They’re all lovely, but you know how hard it was for me to pick my own!” So Cassia had done her dress too. This was a busy woman. “I think she would look lovely in something like this though.” Hermione indicated a page I hadn’t quite caught, because my eyes were straying to the tall man across from us. I’d only ever seen him from a distance, and I thought he was imposing then. 

Up close, I saw how much his son resembled him, but he was much more broad, his steely eyes hard and impassive. But I noticed something beneath it all. His impeccable posture and stiff bearing probably fooled everyone else, but I saw the way his hand tightened around the serpentine head of his cane when he sat, the ever so slight tension when Hermione’s hand brushed over the outside of his leg. 

This man was in pain, and he was hiding it from the woman at his side. 

“Viv?” Hermione’s prompt brought me back around. 

“Sorry. What was that?” I focused back on the two women. Cassia smiled gently, and Hermione looked sympathetic. 

“How do you feel about an open back?” Right. The dress. 

“That’s fine. I’m more worried about covering…” I trailed off, gesturing vaguely to my neck, though my hair obscured most of it from sight at the moment. 

Cassia frowned, and Hermione’s eyes betrayed a flash of understanding. 

“I can help with that, if you’d like,” Hermione offered gently. I’m sure my confusion showed on my face, because Hermione smiled. “Cassia, will you excuse us for a moment?” 

“Of course dear. Do what you need to, and I’ll get a few samples of some colors I think might work well.”

The three of us stood, and I watched in amusement as each of the men present looked to their witch for confirmation. I squeezed Axios’ hand, Anthony got a nod from Cassia, and Hermione gave Lucius a small smile. 

Hermione lead the way back to the bathroom I’d used earlier, ushering me in and shutting the door behind us. She pointed a silencing charm at the door, and I steeled myself for her anger at my obvious discomfort around her chosen beau. 

Instead, she turned towards me, her eyebrows drawn together. “Are you okay?” I hadn’t been prepared for the genuine concern in her eyes, and I blinked back at her for several heartbeats before I nodded. 

“I just know bits of what happened… I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s horrid, really.” Of course she would know. 

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around myself. “It is what it is.” And then she took on the elephant in the room head on. Gryffindor indeed. 

“I’m sorry they didn’t warn you about Lucius and I. Since it got plastered over  _ The Prophet  _ I’ve sort of assumed everyone knew. I know we seem like a bit of an enigma, and it’s disconcerting if you don’t know him… Purebloods don’t understand what it’s like to be a muggleborn like us. I think it’s easier for them to forget how scared we were, and still are sometimes.” Heat flooded my cheeks and I was really regretting not taking the anti-blushing potion. 

“Lucius has really, honestly changed,” she went on. “He’s helping me with the muggleborn protection policies for the school, and he’s already passed a handful of new protection laws for us.” She was practically glowing with pride. 

I shook my head. “It’s not that. I mean, maybe a bit, I tend to avoid  _ the Prophet  _ since the trial… It was quite a shock. I just… I’m sorry. It’s really none of my business.” I turned to leave, but her hand shot out to my wrist. 

“Wait. I really did want to help.” She pulled her left sleeve back, and my stomach sank. It was one thing to read of the slur carved into her skin; it was another matter entirely to see it. 

“I still haven’t found a way to fix magical scars, or even get mine to heal properly, but I’ve perfected a concealment charm…” She slid her wand from her robes, pointing it at her own arm.  _ “Immaculati appareant _ .” I watched in awe as the scars melted away, leaving her skin smooth. 

“It’s a bit vain, but I don’t like people staring at them, especially now that I’m with Lucius. It doesn’t take them away, you can still feel them if you touch my arm, but it’s better than the stares.” She gave me another smile. 

“It’s not hard to use if you’d like me to teach you.” I couldn’t say no, and after a handful of tries in the mirror, all evidence of Ben’s sadism was hidden from view. My throat constricted as I fought back tears. 

“Thank you, Hermione.” She smiled sadly. 

“I’m sorry you need it, but you’re welcome.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry for my poor reaction.”

She laughed. “You should have seen me the night we got locked in a lift together. I thought for sure I was done for. He actually brought veritaserum on our first date because he knew I was still skeptical,” she giggled. 

I was amazed at her easy candor, and was feeling much better knowing she didn’t blame me for my apprehension when we returned to the sitting room. Cassia was surrounded by bits of cloth in a veritable rainbow. Axios had moved to the seat closest to his mother and was shooting down a neon yellow. 

“Mum, go for something darker, she doesn’t wear bright colors.”

“You wouldn’t either after five years in those ghastly St Mungo’s robes,” I sniffed as I retook my place next to him. There was an answering round of chuckles from the men, and Hermione and Cassia nodded in agreement. 

“Very well. Nothing too bright. What about a nice navy?” 

“My dress uniform is navy, Mum. Remember what you said that year Cordelia Parkinson and her husband showed up in the same color? You ranted for weeks that she didn’t tell you and then her dress blended in.”

Cassia sighed. “Yes, I recall. Fine then. What about green?” 

I let Axios battle it out with his mother, and turned to Anthony, who muttered in French, 

“Best to stay out of it. They’ll tire themselves out eventually.” I suppressed a smile. 

In French I replied, “All of a sudden I’m realizing why his closet is larger than mine.” 

Lucius snickered, and added in flawless French himself, “Don't let Anthony fool you, he contributed to the monster every bit as much as Cassia did.”

Anthony scoffed. “Says the man whose wardrobe is worth that of a small country.” 

I pressed my hand to my mouth, stifling a giggle. Hermione looked over suspiciously, but obviously wasn’t fluent. Cassia and Axios were debating shades of red, and didn’t even look up. 

“It will be worth more when Hermione allows me to have her wardrobe made.” The thought of the no-nonsense witch in a hand-tailored wardrobe was ludicrous. Even I knew she wouldn’t allow that any time soon. 

“Good luck with that,” I snorted. 

“She’ll come around eventually,” he said lightly, glancing at the witch beside him. 

“If she doesn’t, are you going to hide it from her too?” I glanced pointedly at where her hand rested on his leg. 

Hey grey eyes flashed, and I had to fight not to recoil at the anger that seeped through his expression. 

“She’s got you there, Lucius.” Anthony said lightly, and Lucius’ anger faded away into resignation, and then wary respect. He gave me a wry smile. 

“Did Astoria mention it?”

“I know pain when I see it,” I retorted. “All Astoria has ever said about you was in regards to your devotion to your son and your wife.” 

Hermione mouthed the words “la femme,” to herself, and looked up between us again. Oops. 

“Échec et mat, Lucius.” Anthony grinned at my perceived victory. 

He nodded, eyeing me appreciatively, and Anthony switched back into English. “Axios must have told you of our friendly rivalry. Do you play chess, Vivienne?

That finally got Axios’ attention, and he addressed Lucius, inquiring after Draco. I sat back, thinking I should probably tread carefully for the evening. If Hermione loved him or not, I didn’t want to be on an ex-Death Eater’s bad side.

Anthony was eyeing me, clearly amused by something. When we rose to move to the dining room, he whispered, “You gained his respect. Brava.” I looked around, confused. “He’s a Slytherin. Knowledge is everything, and you beat him at his own game. He knows it, and respects it.”

I nodded, my confidence restored. Over dinner I relaxed a bit more, but continued cleanly sidestepping Lucius’ subtle taunts. Thank Merlin Dan had given Hazel and I plenty of opportunities to perfect the art. Anthony watched in open amusement, and Hermione caught on by the time we were being served our entree by a sweet old house elf Axios introduced to me as Cirrus. 

I thought all was well until the conversation turned, and Axios said casually, “Blood status doesn’t seem to be as much of a problem amongst the students this year. It’s not like it was.” I tried to bite my tongue, but he kept going. “I haven’t seen a single instance of blood prejudice since—“

The palm of my hand hit the polished tabletop before I could stop myself. The room went silent as the cutlery rattled and I glared at Axios. 

“Then you haven’t been paying attention.” He blinked at me, and I realized how right Hermione had been. 

“Halley Owens. Barney Denhold.” My temper flared at his confusion. “Halley was targeted by Douglas Macnair and transfigured into half a pig because we’re  _ dirty _ . Barney regularly skips meals because his own fucking house treats people like us like we’re  _ worthless _ . They’re twelve years old and instead of being worried about their gobstones tournament this weekend they’re worried if they’re going to make it to the weekend without being attacked because our parents aren’t lucky enough to have magic! I can name half a dozen others, if you’d like me to keep going.” 

I belatedly realized there were five sets of eyes on me. Two sets of inky black, one of blue, another of brown, and the silver gaze of a former Death Eater. 

The heat that bloomed across my cheeks intensified from anger to embarrassment at my outburst. Axios’ jaw tightened, and I realized that I’d just called him out in front of his parents and two very important, very influential people. 

“How did I not know?” Axios wasn’t angry. Rather, he sounded confused. “Halley was in my office nearly every day during the last week of term. Surely I would have noticed...” 

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. “Every day after that morning outside of my room?” He nodded. “Halley was the one that came to me scared… I told her that we’ve been friends for years and I trust you. She must’ve taken that to mean she could trust you too. ”

“But I’m an Auror!”

“And that doesn’t mean a thing to these  _ children _ . They’re being brought into a whole new world, a new culture and hearing stories of being tortured by teachers and having a Death Eater headmaster. They’re being told not to trust but at twelve years old you need  _ someone.  _ At twelve, by some miracle I had you and Hazel. Halley and Barney have each other and nobody else! How are they supposed to know that ‘pureblood’ doesn’t mean ‘bigoted’ if we keep sweeping it under the rug?”

He looked heartbroken as my words sunk in. 

“Viv?” I blushed when I realized yet again that Axios and I weren’t alone. I met Hermione’s eyes. “Will you start keeping records? If we have documentation—“

“I can have my records for this year and last to you by tomorrow,” I told her evenly, trying not to look at the man beside her or Axios’ parents, who I was fairly certain were going to hate me now. Hermione looked pleased, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from the other faces any longer. 

Anthony was eyeing me appraisingly, as if he was trying to read my mind from his seat at the head of the table. Cassia looked… really quite pleased, actually. And behind a cool stare, I could see Lucius’ wheels turning.

He was the first to speak. “Well I’m happy to see for myself that Minerva chose the proper healer for the job.” 

Cassia hummed her agreement, smiling smugly. 

The heat returned with a vengeance, and I dropped my eyes to my hands in my lap. Axios reached for my hand, and I looked up to see his proud smile. 

“You’re brilliant, love. Minerva knew what she was doing.” 

“After being bullied into it by MACUSA,” I muttered darkly. 

“If you think anyone can bully Minerva, you’re sadly mistaken,” Hermione chuckled. Lucius and Anthony nodded in agreement, sharing a look. I got the impression they’d both tried and failed spectacularly. That made me feel a bit better after I’d spent several hours over the past two days doubting my abilities as a healer. Minerva might have been telling the truth that I was her choice, regardless of what MACUSA wanted. 

By dessert my voice was deteriorating, and Axios’ concerned glances were melding into one continuous inspection. Cassia was similarly occupied with the state of my well-being, and it was she that suggested we skip coffee so we could return to the school. She hugged Axios tightly, and then me, telling us we needed to come back Friday for a fitting, and pushed us back through the floo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy oh boy! Talk about a wild ride... What did you all think?!


	43. The Dreams

On the other side, I heaved a sigh of relief. 

“Are you okay love?” Axios pulled me in close, and I buried my face in his robes, not entirely sure if I was or not. 

“How did he find us there?” The question that had been eating at me for the last several hours finally bubbled out. 

“I don’t know, love. I wish I had a better answer… But Harry knows, and he can’t get to you here at the castle. You’re safe.” 

I nodded, his assurances soothing my apprehension. “You could have warned me about who your father's friends are though,” I sighed against him. 

“Whoops. I didn’t even think about it…” He sucked in a breath. “Would now be a bad time to bring up that Lucius is hosting the Ministry ball on New Years?” 

I pulled back to give him a kiss. “A ballroom full of people is a bit different than sitting across the dinner table from him…” I wavered. “But he wasn’t so bad, I suppose… I don’t know how I feel about being played with, though. If he thinks I’m worthy or not.” 

Axios planted a solid kiss to my forehead before moving away, shedding his cloak and Auror robes, leaving him in a clean cut white shirt and dark slacks. The white against his tan skin and dark hair was striking, and I didn’t realize I was staring until he grinned at me. 

“See something you like, love?” He lifted one dark eyebrow, and I couldn’t keep myself from smiling. His fingers worked at the top button, and I turned away, heat rising in my cheeks at being caught. 

I shed my own cloak, and sat quickly on the sofa to keep from staring at him. From the corner of my eye I saw him retrieve a book from the stack, sitting beside me, a wide grin splitting his face. 

“What’s so funny,” I grumbled at him, tucking my feet under myself and pulling the familiar quilt down. 

“I spend all these years dreaming about you looking at me like that, and now you do, you get all flustered.” He grinned wider and the familiar heat washed over my cheeks. “I mean, of all the things you could be looking at… I’m perfectly happy to be it.” The teasing in his voice had an edge of something I couldn’t quite place. 

I tilted my head, searching his face for whatever it could be. He was resolutely not looking at me, but at the book in his hands. 

It was a beautiful copy of Les Trois Mousquetaires; gold gilt pages sandwiched between smooth, deep coffee-coloured leather. The inside cover was filled with Matthieu’s script. Fuck. 

“Do I want to know what it says?” He wasn’t accusatory, just… resigned. I turned the book in his hands to read what it said. Once I was sure it was safe, I translated out loud. 

“ _Dear Vivienne,_

_The first time I met you, I underestimated you. Unfortunately, I did not learn my lesson, and had to be corrected again and again. I never dreamed that you would be the one to change everything. When the opportunity presented to teach at Hogwarts, I took the chance hoping that this choice would not haunt me as so many of them have._

_My father has continuously commented on the changes he has seen in me through my letters, but the revelation that you were the one to bring them about came much later. I should thank you for reminding me what it is to love and find true joy after great loss. You inspire me each day, and I hope to always be counted amongst your friends._

_Bien affectueusement,_

_Mathieu_.”

My voice was straining, and tears welled in my eyes. I closed the book, hoping Axios wouldn’t press. Instead, he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin propped up on his clasped hands. 

“He’ll know that you didn’t mean to hurt him, love.” Axios’ quiet assurance made the tears spill over. 

“How can you be sure? I said goodbye and said I’d still be here when he got back. Three days later and I’ve thrown that out the bloody window.” Guilt wracked my heart, and I couldn’t even turn to Axios for comfort. 

“I just… am. Sure, that is.” Axios turned his head slightly, and I knew he was looking at me, but I couldn’t meet his eye. “You wouldn’t have warned me and in turn him and the Ministry if you didn’t care for him.” 

His words made me squirm uncomfortably. “And you’re ok with that?” 

“Livvy, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t care. You’re worried about what will happen when they find a murder, for Circe’s sake. Caring for someone that genuinely wishes for your wellbeing? I may be a jealous bastard, but even I can’t argue with that.” 

“You’re just saying that because I’ll be in your bed when he gets back, not his.” I turned away, so I was facing the fire, and Axios snorted. 

“Probably. But it doesn’t change the fact that I know he cares about you, and you care about him. I’m not going to stand in the way of friendship. Hannah tried that and it didn’t end well.” I looked around, confused. 

“You know that Neville dated Astoria Greengrass our last year here, didn’t you?” I nodded, unsure of how it related. “Well there were a couple years between when Draco and Rose and Neville and Tori broke up… Draco and Tori got together, and Nev and Draco are best mates, which means Nev and Tori got thrown together a lot. It used to drive Hannah mad. She broke up with Nev over it, and they were both miserable, plus Tori felt awful because she and Nev broke up because they were better off as friends. Tori sees him more as a brother now, but Hannah couldn’t get past the history there. It wasn’t until the after attacks on the ICW in New York that she decided to move past it all. When Theo died, I think it cemented it for her…” his voice got husky, and I knew he was thinking of that day. 

The day he’d received that scar on his ribs. The day he’d nearly died, and his friend had died. The day that changed everything. 

“I’m just saying, history is history. I love you, and I trust you, whatever you decide to do.” I nodded slowly, and he kissed my temple gently before slipping into the bedroom, leaving me to my thoughts. 

I traced my fingers over the embossed title, and set the book aside. I hoped Mathieu would accept my friendship down the line, but I would always pick Axios. I wouldn’t ever leave him. Not again. 

Axios was sitting up, a book in his lap when I came in for bed a while later. After stripping down to a tank top and my knickers, I climbed into bed next to him, a sigh of contentment leaving my lips when he placed a warm, heavy hand on my back. I was gone long before he set his book aside. 

***

_The heavy iron key turned in the lock, and it opened easily in my hand. Each one came open as I moved down the worn stone stairs, unlocking one bar at a time. They swung free with a clank, resting against the damp walls like sentries. Dixie whined warningly at my feet, but I pressed on. Deeper and deeper until there were no more bars, just a wide wooden door. The last key slid into the last lock, the door swinging forward on creaking hinges._

_At first glance, the dungeon was empty. I stepped in, and felt the cold damp air creeping into my skin and invading my bones. I turned to leave, but there was a man blocking my path. Lucius Malfoy stared down at me, and began to morph. Pale and unusually still, his lifeless, soulless eyes tore the breath from my lungs and Ben reached up with dead hands—_

“Livvy love, wake up. Wake up. I’m here, but you have to wake up.” The hands that I felt now weren’t the cold hands of death tearing at my skin, but loving caresses. My skin was cold and clammy, but his body was solid against me and smelled of warm spices. 

I forced my eyes open and a cry ripped through me as I met eyes like molten pools of ink, the fear and worry in them bubbling into relief. The cry burned my throat, the pain cutting it short and left me breathless. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably, like I’d dove into the Black Lake. 

“Shh, just breathe. I've got you. You’re safe.” He repeated it over and over, until my breathing was calming and my fingers loosened on his waist. My throat was on fire, but I didn’t care, as long as I stared into his eyes. 

“Are you ok now, love?” I nodded, immediately feeling tired. 

“What time is it?” It came out in a croak, and I cringed at the pain that shot through my throat. 

“It’s almost three now.” He smoothed my hair down with one hand, and passed me a pain potion. Once I’d swallowed it, he settled back down, pulling me close again. The safety I felt with him was unparalleled and I settled back into his arms, wondering how I’d gone so long without him. 

***

_So much blood. It was dripping from the bed, spreading across the crisp white sheets and golden skin._

_“Axios! Axios look at me! Please look at me?” I could see his eyelashes fluttering, the sliver of his dark eyes between them… and then he was still._

_“AXIOS NO!”_

_The skin over his ribs gaped open. Astoria was leaning over him, whispering incantations, trying to get the skin to knit together. Agnes shoved another bottle of blood replenisher at me, yelling at me to pour it down his throat. I did as I was told, tipping his head back and letting my tears fall unobstructed._

“ _Axios don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. I need you.”_

_Ben was passing more potions to Agnes, his lips pressed in a tight line._

_“Axios you have to wake up. Wake up dammit!” He looked so pale under my fingers, but his eyelashes flickered again. Another potion poured down his throat. Astoria moving her wand in short, sure strokes. My eyes fell to the pile of blue robes on the floor at my feet. His Auror robes, drenched in blood._

_Ben started laughing, and we weren’t at St Mungo’s any longer. It was Dad’s study, and the blood wasn’t Axios’. It was mine._

“Livvy! Livvy!”

My hands flew to my throat, my fingers wet and my hair sticking to it. 

“Livvy, love. Wake up. I’ve got you.” 

Sun was pouring in the window now, and the same strong arms held me tight. Drawing my fingers back, they were wet. Tears, not blood, glistened on my fingertips. I reached for Axios’ side, and my fingertips found the scar. 

We were both fine. We’d made it through. 

“It was just a dream. Just a dream. I’ve got you.”

I could bring myself to tell him that no, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. It didn’t matter though. He was here, holding me tight. That’s what mattered now. 


	44. The Friend

_ December 27, 2006 _

I’d never spent the week between Christmas and New Years at the castle before, and it was easy to get lost in the short days and long nights. Axios was still under orders to stay at my side, and besides stopping by my rooms to pick up a book or another small item, we steered clear, preferring to stay in his rooms and the staff common room. 

The morning after Boxing Day, we stopped by my office to send Hermione the records of attacks on Muggleborns. He read through each and every one of them; I could tell he was committing each victim to memory to keep an eye on when they came back for the new term. Axios watched as I carefully made duplicates, snickering heartily when I addressed the parcel to Malfoy Manor. 

“I can’t believe Hermione Granger is practically living with Lucius. It’s probably good for him though, he needs someone to keep him busy.” 

“Oh it is. She has him wrapped around her little finger,” Neville chimed in from the door. 

“You knew?” Axios looked surprised. 

“Of course I bloody well knew. Hermione was here in my office in tears the day after their date, and they invited me to dinner last week. I think I’m considered “safe,” because I’m a Gryffindor but I’m mates with Draco.” He snorted. 

“In tears? He made her cry?” Axios looked confused, and I pushed down the thought that of course a bloody Death Eater was capable of making a woman- even one as formidable as Hermione Granger- cry. 

“Nah Ron Weasley had a fit. Harry and Gin were at dinner too though, so she’s got some backup.” Neville grinned. “Fairview knows as well as I do not to piss Ginny off, and her mum’s just as scary.”

“Plus you know, her boyfriend’s history,” I muttered darkly. I still didn’t trust him. 

“Livvy, love. I swear to Merlin he’s not—“

“Lying to Hermione? Because I caught him in it last night. Your dad confirmed it.” The jaws of both men dropped open. I glared at Axios defiantly. “Or did you miss him toying with me all damn evening like some kind of predator?” 

Neville gaped between them. Axios’ eyes snapped to him.

“Not. A. Word. To Draco. Clear?” Neville dropped his surprise for indignation. 

“Like I would say a word to Draco about Lucius anyway. I happen to value my life. In fact, I got my pepper-up and you didn’t see me. I’ll see you at four.” He turned on his heel and disappeared into the store cupboard, leaving the ward a minute later with several vials of potion in hand. 

Axios spent the next little while sprawled across my sofa as I worked, restocking my dwindling stores of pepperup. He looked relaxed, but I knew his mind was working over the revelation. I’d give him the details when he asked, but he seemed to want to chew on it bit by bit. 

He was still quiet when I was labeling the last of the bottles, arranging them in the storeroom neatly with a swish of my wand. I set my office straight with another, sending my cauldron and supplies to their proper places and straightened the workbench by hand. I looked up to see Axios watching me intently, his midnight-dark eyes inscrutable. 

“Yes?” I lifted an eyebrow, and he opened his arms in a silent invitation to join him. I did without thought, sliding into his lap with an arm around his shoulders. He didn’t ask any questions, or even say a word. He just pulled me against his chest and pressed his nose into my hair. 

Even though my scarred neck was hidden by Hermione’s charm, I wore my hair loose, and he twisted a curl around his broad palm. I responded in kind, twisting curls from the back of his neck around my fingers. While my hair was charmed from it's naturally mostly-straight state to stay in big, loose curls, his natural curls were tighter, a bit larger in circumference than the base of my thumb. 

I thought back to the punnett squares I’d learned about in my Muggle schooling, and wondered what our kids would look like. Both of our fathers had blue eyes, so that was a possibility; his hair was curly, but so was my mum’s. My red hair would probably lose out to his inky black locks, but with his dad’s nearly blond hair, it wasn’t certain. I hoped they’d get his satin-y golden toned skin, rather than the pasty white I got from my Scottish grandparents. 

I was still lost in depths of fantasy children when Bardolf cleared his throat. I looked around, and he jerked his head toward the ward. I slipped from Axios’ lap to find the seventh year Gryffindor girl from the snowball fight hovering near the door with her back to me. I motioned for Axios to stay put on the sofa. 

“Lucy?” 

She jumped, spinning and gasping as if I’d cast a bombarda behind her. She flushed, looking guilty. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be here.” She shied away from me when I stepped forward, so I stopped in my tracks. 

“Are you alright?” I held my hands carefully out to my sides, as if I was approaching a startled kneazle rather than one of my students. 

“I… I’m fine.” She glanced nervously back towards the door. 

“Would you like some tea then? I was just about to make a pot.” It was a fib, I had been planning on making tea back in Axios’ rooms, but here would do just fine if it got me an explanation of her odd behavior. 

She looked between me and the door, finally nodding hesitantly. “Tea would be nice. Thank you.” 

I smiled warmly. “Come on, then.” She followed me to my office, and I belatedly realized that I hadn’t told her Axios was there; upon seeing him on the sofa, she froze momentarily in the doorway, and then visibly relaxed. 

“Hi, Professor,” she said rather quietly, taking a seat in an armchair across from him. 

“Lucy, hello! Did you have a good Christmas?” 

I let them exchange pleasantries, making tea with practiced movements while listening to them chat. She seemed more relaxed with Axios than she was with me, but then she’d spent considerably more time with him as he’d been her teacher for the last three and a half years. She’d only met me maybe twice. 

When the tea was finished, I levitated it to the coffee table, bringing a tin of biscuits with me. Out of sheer force of habit, I took the other armchair across from him, and it wasn’t until I was passing him the cup I poured for him that I realized that he’d expected me to take the seat beside him. His raised eyebrow and the tilt to his head told me as much without saying a word.

All too aware of the student to my right, I smiled sweetly and offered a biscuit. His ego could be soothed later. He took one rather petulantly, and I turned back to our guest. 

“Tell me Lucy, are you attempting a mastery placement or is there something else you had your eye on for your future?” Despite her teacup sitting untouched before her, and I had the feeling something was bubbling towards the surface. Her eyes lifted from her hands, looking surprised at my genuine interest. 

“Uh…” 

“Didn’t Professor Longbottom tell me you were hoping for acceptance into the auror program?” Axios saved her like he’d saved me so many times. 

“My dad thinks I would be a shoe-in, but I don’t know if that’s what I want,” she admitted after a long silence. 

“What do you want?” I was honestly curious, but the silence was interrupted by a tapping on the window. I looked up to see a familiar barn owl holding a letter with an olive green seal. “Isn’t that…?”

“Hermes. He’s Mum’s,” Axios confirmed, standing swiftly to retrieve the letter. The owl hopped through, obviously content to wait in the warmth of my office until a reply was ready. He broke through the seal with a flick of his thumb, even though I caught my name on the address line, not his. I smiled inwardly at his casual familiarity, and took a sip of my tea to hide it from Lucy. 

He read the letter over twice, his expression darkening. He handed it to me, but didn’t retake his seat. Lucy watched him warily as he towered behind me, arms crossed. 

I quickly skimmed the letter, which acknowledged that as Ben had managed to breech the wards, the auror office didn’t want to take any chances. Apparently Lord Malfoy had offered for me and Axios to come to his chateau in France so Cassia could complete not just mine, but Hermione and Astoria’s at the same time. She apologised profusely, and guilt twisted my stomach. I should be the one apologising. I flicked my wand to carry the letter to my desk, needing to think over how best to reply, and Axios retook his seat at my calm acceptance. 

“I’m sorry about that, Lucy. We were talking about what you wanted to do,” I redirected the attention back to her, and she shifted uncomfortably. 

“I don’t want to go be an auror just because of my last name,” she sighed. “Even if my father isn’t the Auror director anymore, being a Robards still means something, and I don’t want to be handed a job for it.” 

I smiled, thinking about Harry. Axios evidently was thinking along the same lines, because he grinned. 

“If that’s what you’re worried about, you shouldn’t be. Harry despises handouts.” Axios relaxed and stretched out, draping his arm over the back of the sofa, and I watched as Lucy relaxed again as well. I let them discuss the changes Harry had implemented in the auror force, musing over how to reply to Cassia. Ultimately, I knew what my answer had to be, and I excused myself to reply to her letter. 

Lucy barely seemed to notice that I got up, chattering happily about her father’s new role at the ministry. Axios’ eyes followed me closely, but he didn’t miss a beat in the conversation. I wrote out my letter quickly, but when I reached for the silver stick of wax in my desk, I hesitated. I hadn’t thought about it since the morning I’d woken up in Axios’ bed and asked him about his, but now using the silver felt like I was still letting Ben win. I’d switched over for him, even though I didn’t want to. Now I wished more than anything I’d kept my signature pink. 

Axios must’ve seen my hesitation at the silver wax in my hand, because he reached into his pocket, and whistled to draw my attention. He tossed a stick of royal blue wax to me, and my throat tightened as I caught it easily. He went right back to the conversation with Lucy, not acknowledging her openly curious looks between us. I sealed the letter in blue, my monogram embossed into the wax. Hermes fluttered down from his perch next to the window to settle on the corner of my desk, waiting patiently for my instructions. 

I quickly scribbled out another, and whispered to the owl, “Can you make a tiny detour for me?” He hooted amiably, and I tied the letter to Cassia to his leg with a length of matching royal blue ribbon, and held the second, shorter request to Scrivenshaft’s out for him to hold in his beak. I gave him one last affectionate stroke before opening the window again and watching him fly towards Hogsmead. I watched until he disappeared from sight, still listening to Axios talk easily with the young girl. 

“Would you like to walk with us back to Gryffindor tower?” I turned just in time to see her freeze, Axios tactfully picking apart a biscuit rather than watching her response. “We need to talk to Professor Longbottom,” he said lightly, and her shoulders relaxed.

Ah. Axios was on to something. 

“Uh… If you’re going that way anyway, sure.” She was attempting to sound nonchalant, and would have succeeded if not for the slightly choked sound that came from a rush of relief that I knew all too well. 

“Love? Are you done here?” Lucy looked curiously between us again, but I just smiled and nodded. Axios cleaned the remains of our tea with a few nonverbal spells, and reached out for me, his arm sliding comfortably across my back. 

“So… Christmas wasn’t just a show?” She was bold enough to ask outright, so I gave her an honest answer. 

“If he’d tried that just for show, I would have hexed him into oblivion.” I smiled sweetly up at Axios again, who snorted.

“She’s got a mean stinging jinx that I don’t care to be on the wrong end of again,” he muttered, and I laughed. 

“That was so fourth year. Ginny taught me her bat-bogey hex sixth year, and it’s so much more satisfying,” I teased, and Lucy’s eyes got wide. 

“Ginny Potter? You know her too? What did he do to earn a stinging jinx?” Apparently the floodgates had opened. 

“I tutored Ginny in Astronomy, and we’re still friendly. As for the stinging jinx… There were several. I think the first time was because he hit me with a tickling charm when Hazel pushed me into the vanishing step… One time he charmed my book so every page was the same. I thought I was just tired until he couldn’t stop giggling from across the common room. That was his third year, I think…”

“And then there was the thing with Timothy Menuos your fourth year,” he added. “And the time I turned your hair blue right before Hogsmead… I think that was your fourth year too.” 

“I don’t think I needed to hex you after fourth year,” I mused, smirking at Lucy’s sheer delight over our banter. 

“I was just excited you were back. I wasn’t going to waste the last year we had driving you mad,” Axios insisted as we reached the top of the staircase. 

“Well lucky for you, I haven’t gotten tired of you yet,” I grinned at his own broad smile, and Lucy laughed. 

“Oh Merlin, you two are worse than Professor Longbottom and Miss Abbott,” she snickered. 

Axios snorted. “Tell that to the Malfoy’s whiskey decanter.” I raised an eyebrow, and he shook his head. “Long story. It was the night Hazel--” He stopped, looking guilty. My stomach dropped, and bile rose in my throat thinking of the only night he could have been talking about. The entire night at St Mungo’s with the Harlow family, he was all I’d wanted, and he hadn’t come. 

Knowing he’d been with Neville and Hannah that night stung more than it should have, but I pushed it away to say goodbye to Lucy. She disappeared behind a portrait of a very large woman clad in pink silk. Axios led us down the landing several feet, coming to stand in front of a large renaissance painting of a woman holding a small child. 

“Flitterbloom,” Axios said, and the portrait swung inward. The House Head suites were larger than the regular staff rooms, and Neville’s was done in earthy greens and browns, gold accents alluding to his Gryffindor roots. His sitting room was nearly twice the size of mine, but I knew from experience that if you were in your House Head’s suite, you probably didn’t want to be and too much space was better than not enough. 

“Longbottom!” Axios didn’t bother waiting for an answer or invitation before taking a seat on one of the most contemporary-looking couches I’d ever seen in the castle. Tan microfiber and deep cushions made it welcoming, and I took a seat next to him. 

Neville emerged a minute later, his hair a mess and pillow creases across his cheek. He yawned as he sunk into an armchair, ruffling his hair. 

“Have a nice nap?” Axios smirked at Neville, who yawned again and waved him off.

“Go away.” He sunk further into the chair, crossing his arms. 

“You really aren’t a morning person. I feel bad for Hannah,” Axios laughed, and heaved himself from the couch. “I should be back in an hour. I’ll send word if I’m any later.” 

Neville made a “shoo”ing motion at him, and Axios laughed again before kissing my cheek and stepping through the floo to the Ministry. He’d gotten a letter from Harry that morning at breakfast, wanting to go over what had happened at his parents’ the night before. Neville was back on babysitting duty, as we decided I’d be more comfortable in the castle with Neville than listening to their plans for my ex-boyfriend. 

“He might feel bad for Hannah, but I feel bad for you if that’s how he wakes you up,” Neville grumbled.

I just smiled, thinking that Neville wouldn’t appreciate knowing exactly Axios had woken me up that morning; it had included his mouth on every inch of my skin he could reach, and then some. “I think he knows I’d hex him if it was,” I laughed, and Neville cracked a smile. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Go for it,” he yawned again, and propped his chin up on his hand. 

“The night Hazel died… Where were you?” I was genuinely curious what had happened that night, and why Axios had chosen them over me. 

Neville was suddenly wide awake, and looked uncomfortable. “We were at the Greengrasses’ ball when the news broke. A bunch of us went back to the Malfoys’ though.” He dropped his hand, squirming under my impending questions.

“Including Axios,” I prodded. 

“Eventually, yeah. He didn’t show til nearly midnight though. He went straight to Mungo’s from the Greengrasses’ to look for you.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t see him until the funeral, he wasn’t at Mungo’s.” 

Neville eyed me warily, and finally shrugged. “All I know is he told us he was going to Mungo’s, and when he showed up at Draco’s, he looked awful and drank almost an entire bottle of Ogden’s.”

“And the decanter?” I wasn’t sure what to expect, but Neville turning Gryffindor scarlet and sitting bolt upright with a look of sheer panic on his face wasn’t it. 

“He and Draco swore they wouldn’t say a word—“ 

I couldn’t help it and started laughing. “He didn’t tell me a thing but I’m dying to know now!” Neville scowled at me, sinking back into the chair. When I finally managed to regain control of myself, I quickly changed the subject. “How’s your new plant doing?” 

That set him off, and he talked for much of the next hour, leaving my mind to wander as long as I nodded occasionally. I couldn’t help but wonder where Axios had been that night, and why he hadn’t been there when I needed him most. I’d wondered for the last year, but I didn’t want to bring it up, because I had no right to expect anything from him. 

I belatedly realized Neville had stopped talking, and was watching me closely. “I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“I asked if you were looking forward to the ball,” he said, a curious look on his face. “But you stopped listening about forty minutes ago.” 

I blushed, dropping my eyes to my hands, folded around a stick of royal blue wax. When had I pulled it from my pocket? “I’m sorry, Neville. It’s been a crazy few days.” 

“Oh I know. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look like you need to get some of it out.” The pillow creases had faded from his cheek, and his hazel eyes were open, kind. “I know I’m not Hannah or Marta, but if you need to talk…” 

I smiled weakly. “Thank you, Neville. I’m okay… I just…” I trailed off, knowing that I was lying to Neville and to myself. “I feel like in the course of less than a week, everything changed. I said goodbye to Mathieu intending on being here waiting when he got back, but it just wasn’t right. It was so painfully obvious once I realized it. And everything with Ben, and then meeting Axios’ parents and Lucius Malfoy last night…” I chewed on my lip, unsure of how to express what I was feeling. I settled on a generalization. “I’m just a bit overwhelmed, I suppose.” 

He nodded, and I could feel his eyes on me. “I told Matt you’d choose Axios. From that first night at the party. Like you said. It’s painfully obvious. I don’t have much to say about the Wilson deal, but as for the Fairviews and Lucius… Anthony and Cassia are wonderful people, and they’ve been asking to meet you since before he and I were friends. I think he put it off so long because he  _ didn’t  _ want to overwhelm you. 

“Cassia is probably already planning your wedding dress, honestly. Anthony is probably already trying to decide how to best invest for your future children… And it’s all because there was never anyone else for Axios. They know it, and I know it… Draco has been trying for years to set him up, to get him to move on, but it always came back to you. Draco doesn’t understand. He had Rose and Astoria was always just  _ there. _ Hannah and I have been off and on, so I get it a bit better, though even I don’t understand fully. 

“I know Lucius is a lot to handle… Hannah is still petrified of him, and we’ve been hanging around him and his house since we left Hogwarts ourselves. I keep telling her he’s changed, but she can’t get past some things. He understands that, and he’s always been careful to be kind to her and respect her distance.” Neville paused, rubbing his hand over his jaw, looking distant as he tried to gather his thoughts. “When Narcissa died, Lucius understandably fell to pieces. I think it was Anthony more than anyone that brought him out of it, though now I wonder if Hermione had a bigger hand in it than he lets on. He’s like that, though. Fiercely protective.” 

I snorted, and looked away. 

“Axios is like that too. Maybe in a slightly different way, but I’d put galleons on it that if you watched Lucius and Axios together, you’d walk away rethinking everything you thought you knew about Lucius, and probably a few things about Axios.” 

I sighed. “Well I’ll have the chance Friday. We’ll be with them again, so Cassia can finish my dress for the ball.” 

Neville smiled deviously, almost a smirk but with less malice. “Watch close.” I nodded, and resumed chewing on my lip. 

“Let’s play a game of exploding snap,” he said suddenly, drawing my attention again. It was fairly obvious he was trying to distract me, but I welcomed it. We were on our third round when the fire turned green and Axios stepped back through. 

I used the distraction to lay down an exploding card, and Neville yelped when he looked down to just in time for it to blow up. Axios chuckled and bent down to greet me with a soft kiss. “How bad did you beat him?” 

“She decimated me,” Neville said flatly, throwing down the rest of his hand. I snickered; I had been the reigning exploding snap queen of Ravenclaw tower for years. I’d conveniently forgotten to tell Neville that bit when he asked me to play. 

“You ready to head down to dinner?” He took my hand and Neville stretched. 

“I’ll wait for Hannah, but I’ll see you both later. Let me know how it goes, yeah?” He directed the question at me, and I knew he was talking about Friday. I nodded, smiling slightly. He wasn’t Hannah or Marta, true. But he was exactly the friend I’d needed today. 


	45. The Fitting

Friday was upon us before I knew it, and I was a bundle of nerves as Axios explained that we had to floo to the DMLE before going on to the chateau. He covered my hand with his to stop me from picking at my sleeve, and brought it up to kiss my knuckles gently. 

“It’ll be fine, love. You’ll be with me, and Tori and Hermione will be there too.”

“I know…” I sighed deeply. “I just keep thinking about him showing up at your parents. I didn’t mean to put them in danger too.” I lifted my eyes to meet his, and he met me with a gentle expression. “Mum and Dad are fine. They’re worried about you, love.” 

I dropped my eyes to where our fingers were intertwined, and our blue robes twisted around each other, contrasting like the varying depths of the ocean. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Come on, Livvy. Mum can’t wait to see you again.” 

With that, we stepped through the floo, stepping out just to step back in and out into a bright, open room. Tall, graceful windows filled one wall, and we were met by Cassia, Anthony, Hermione, Lucius, and Draco. Cassia immediately pulled me out of her son’s grasp, hugging me tightly and apologising for the change of plans. Axios was shaking hands with the gathered men, and brushed a kiss to Cassia’s cheek over my head. 

Draco clapped him on the shoulder with a grin and they went off, leaving me with the two couples. Hermione kissed Lucius firmly before pushing him away, Anthony chuckling and trailing after him. 

“We cleared out one of the drawing rooms, Tori’s already there,” Hermione was saying as she ushered us through the hall. A heavy-set man with greying blond hair stopped Hermione, asking for Lucius in accented English. She directed him back into the sitting room we had just vacated, and proceeded to loop her arm through mine. Cassia was still holding tightly to the other, and together they steered me down a lengthy hallway until we reached a sitting room with sweeping windows on two sides. 

“The light here is simply magnificent,” Cassia was saying, and I wanted to agree, but my tongue didn’t seem to want to obey me. The sweeping room was done in shades of gold and sky blue, the windows opening to large, sweeping gardens that reminded me of the perfectly structured gardens of Versailles. The sunlight poured in, and highlighted the tall, willowy brunette standing on a raised dais in the middle of the room. Pale seafoam green silk fell in graceful lines as she fidgeted with a pair of white opera gloves.

“Tori you look amazing,” I managed to gasp, and her head snapped up. 

“Viv!” She squealed and hurled herself from the platform, my two escorts stepping gracefully out of the way. She hugged me tightly, and I hugged her back, thinking how much I’d missed her the last several months. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come over at the ministry, I just thought you needed some space, and I’ve been dying to see you, but Draco’s been so busy with this project and the holidays, and Mungo’s just isn’t the same without you--”

“Tori, it’s fine, really.” I tried to stifle the flow from her mouth, but she kept going. 

“Axios better be taking such good care of you, I told Draco...” 

I let her finish, waiting patiently until she withdrew and looked me up and down at arm’s length. 

“You look bloody amazing. What is it with that school?” She raised an eyebrow speculatively, and I was relieved when Hermione cut in. 

“It’s all the damn stairs,” she said flatly, and pointed back to the platform. Cassia chuckled beside me, and patted my arm reassuringly. 

“Have a seat, dear. I’m almost done with Astoria, and then Hermione is up next. Yours will be last.” I nodded gratefully, and sank onto a Louis XVI sofa, watching Cassia measure, tuck, and pin Astoria’s dress. Hermione came and sat down beside me, tucking her legs underneath herself. 

“You look better today,” she said softly, so the others couldn’t hear. 

“I feel better. Finally off the pain and blood replenishing potions, too.” I smiled at my newfound friend. “It helps that I don’t have to look at it, too. Thank you again.” 

“It turns out, I should be thanking you. You’re the one that finally got Lucius to get over his insecurities.” It was all I could do to not let my jaw hang open.

“Me?” It came out as a squeak, and she looked around, clearly amused. 

“You’re quite the snake tamer,” she joked, and I laughed with her. 

“This sounds fun!” A voice with an American accent spoke up from behind us, making me jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” A curvy brunette with a wide smile came around the sofa and sank into the chair next to mine. 

“Viv do you know Rose Hollingsworth?” Hermione rolled her eyes at the other woman. Looking more closely, I did indeed recognize her. 

“I didn’t know you were still in Britain,” I murmured. 

“Technically we’re in France,” she winked. “But I’m not, really. I live in New York. I come here for my work with Hermione and to keep Draco out of trouble.” I blinked at that, vividly recalling her romance with Draco the year after the war. I looked up to Astoria, who was talking animatedly to Cassia. 

“It’s not like that, don’t worry. He’s my best friend, though Tori is up there too,” she said knowingly. I flushed, and she laughed. “Though to be fair this time I was summoned to get my sister out of trouble. Hermione here might have strangled her otherwise.”

Hermione sniffed primly. “I wasn’t about to resort to  _ murder, _ Rose. Maybe just a few hexes.” 

I looked around, and Hermione blushed this time. “Apparently Hope developed a bit of a crush on Lucius…” My hand flew up to my mouth, and Rose cackled from beside me. “She practically assaulted him, and Hermione here got an eyeful.” 

“I had to drug Lucius to keep  _ him _ from murdering her, so really Rose isn’t that far off,” Astoria snickered as she approached, stripping off her long gloves. I was fairly certain my eyes were the size of saucers, but I shook my head emphatically. 

“When did all of this happen?” I looked to Astoria, but it was Hermione that answered. 

“Christmas eve.” My hand reached unbidden to my throat, but Rose was already moving on. 

“Mr I-Saved-The-World left from here to go deal with your mess,” she said somewhat mournfully. “It was a crying shame, I was looking forward to talking to him some more. He’s got a great ass.” 

Hermione protested. “Harry is married!” 

“So I can’t touch. We’ve already established what great angles your men have,” she said, grinning evilly at Hermione and then myself. 

“Our men?” This squeaking business had to be bad for my throat.

“Lucius and Axios, yeah. Oh and Draco too, I guess.” She was still grinning at the matching blushes Hermione and I sported, but Astoria just rolled her eyes. 

“You do realize this is Axios’ mother, right, darling?” Astoria asked in a stage whisper, nodding at Cassia, who was pretending quite convincingly not to be listening. 

“She should be proud to have such a fine specimen for a son!” Rose said in her normal volume. I coughed, pointedly. 

“Oh honey, he’s all yours. Has been for ages,” she said with an exaggerated sigh. I bristled, but tried to tamp it down. 

“Hermione, can I use the powder room?” I stood sharply, my face on fire. 

“Of course. Let me show you where it is,” she said, standing just as quickly. She led me into the hall, where we both let out sighs of relief. “Rose is great, but she likes getting a rise out of people,” Hermione said quietly. “It's better when Draco or Lucius are around to temper her a bit. I’m so sorry,” she said, her brown eyes mournful. 

“It’s fine,” I assured her quickly. “I just… I’m not sure where I stand yet with Cassia either, and it's all still so new…” I trailed off, and Hermione pointed to a door. “Thank you, again.” She smiled.

“Take your time. We’re in the last door on your left.” She turned to go, her chestnut curls bobbing with her steps. 

I was grateful for the quiet of the bathroom, and I pressed my face against the cool marble of the countertop. I took several long minutes to gather myself, and was relieved to see my makeup was still flawless. I was especially when I stepped out into the hallway and directly into a very solid chest. I jumped back, apologizing profusely, fearing it was Lucius Malfoy. 

The reality was much worse. 

“Vivienne?” 

All of the sudden the scent of coffee and chocolate filled my nose, and I realized the figure was none other than Mathieu Dumont. 

My mouth dropped open, and the only sound I could hear was my own blood thundering in my ears. We stared at each other for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds before a door opened and shut somewhere. I took another step back, and looked down sheepishly at my hands. 

“Are you… well?” Mathieu’s eyes swept over me and I tried not to flinch away. 

“I need to talk to you.” I reached out, but another voice had me snatching my hand back before I could make contact with the cashmere of Mathieu’s sleeve. 

“Livvy what are you--” Axois stopped cold a few feet from the room where he had been with Draco and their fathers, and I saw him reaching for his wand. “Dumont.” His voice dropped an octave. 

“Fairview. Mademoiselle Beaulieu.” His words were clipped, and he strode away before I had a chance to say anything more. I glared at Axios. 

“Your wand? Really, Axios?” 

He looked away sheepishly. “Sorry, love. I’m a bit touchy after Christmas Eve.” I sighed, knowing he had good reason to be. He reached out, and I settled into his arms. “What are you doing out here?” 

“Loo. One of Draco’s friends is here, and she’s a bit much for me. I just needed a minute.” He kissed the top of my head, and squeezed gently. 

“Mum will probably do yours first so we can go, if you need.” 

“No! It’s okay. I’m okay. I just didn’t expect it, and she started talking about you and Lucius and I don’t think Hermione appreciated it any more than I did…” 

“Me and Lucius?” His dark brows furrowed, but before I could answer, the door was flung open, and Astoria strode out, Rose close on her heels. I felt his body stiffen around me, and I looked up to see a look of complete and utter shock on his features. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Axios was already ushering me past her and back into the room. 

“Axios what the--” 

“Stay here, love, please.” He kissed my head and was back out the door before I could get a word in edgewise, and I turned with my arms still outstretched to find Cassia watching me closely. Rustling noises coming from behind a partition told me that Hermione was changing into her gown. 

“I’m not sure what just happened,” I admitted to the witch as I dropped my hands to my sides, and she chuckled. 

“Do not stress yourself over it. Here, have some tea.” She gestured to a tea tray that had appeared while I’d been gone, and I sighed, but was grateful for it. 

“Lucius isn’t going to come in, is he? I don’t want him to see it until the ball.” Hermione poked her head out from behind the curtain, and Cassia smiled warmly. 

“He knows better than to try me, dear. He won’t see it until you’re ready.” I cocked my head, trying to decide why Lucius Malfoy would know better than to try the woman that very well may be my future mother-in-law, and again lost my train of thought when Hermione stepped out. 

The a-line gown was emerald green with fine gold filigree beading climbing up the skirt like vines. The bodice has some of the same swirling gold beading, climbing up from her trim waist to the sweetheart neckline. A thigh-high slit up her left leg split with each step to show off a pair of gold stiletto heels that glittered as she walked. It looked as if the dress fit her like a glove, and I honestly wasn’t sure what Cassia meant to do with it. 

I helped myself to some tea, and was settling myself back on the sofa when Astoria reappeared, without Rose or Axios this time. She made herself a cup and sat primly next to me, shooting worried glances at increasing intervals towards the door. 

“Is everything okay?” I finally asked after a third anxious glance in the space of less than thirty seconds. 

“Oh it’s fine,” she said dismissively, waving a hand airily. 

“You’ve always been a shite liar for a Slytherin,” I told her, taking another sip of my tea. She rolled her eyes, and I continued sipping. She would tell me when she was good and ready. 

Cassia finished with Hermione quickly, and then it was my turn behind the curtain, stripping away my sapphire blue robes and unzipping the garment bag. My breath caught at the sight of it, and I reverently ran my hands over the dress. It was the most beautiful creation I'd ever seen, and I couldn’t believe I was supposed to wear it. 

Much like Hermione’s, the dress fit almost perfectly, and there wasn’t much Cassia needed to do to it. Hermione and Astoria sat side by side on the sofa, both of them looking approvingly at my reflection. The shock of the hour came when Astoria whispered, “Do you know what I’d do for a figure like hers?” And Hermione nodded in agreement. 

Cassia, who was kneeling at my feet pinning the hem, caught my shocked look, and she smiled around the pins between her teeth. “You are lovely, dear.” 

I sputtered. “Tori could be a model. You’re perfect. Hermione is gorgeous. I’m just…” My face burned as I thought of all the things I’d thought over the years, and some that Ben had affirmed. 

“Short. And my hips are too wide.” 

Cassia shook her head. “Petite with a perfect hourglass figure. Why you hide it, I will never know. Women everywhere want what you have.” My face grew hot again, and she smiled gently. “You should not listen to a word of what someone like him said, darling girl.” 

My surprise showed, because she slowed what she was doing, and spoke just loud enough for me to hear. “I was supposed to marry a man that thought that pain was the best motivation for a wife. I met Anthony a month before my wedding, and he showed me what life could be. I wed him the night before my wedding to the other man, and I never looked back.” She lifted her fathomless eyes to mine, and it felt as if I was being pulled into blissfully warm waters. “I know it will take time, but listen to the people that want what is best for you, not the people that want the best for themselves.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and Cassia pressed a clean handkerchief into my hand before standing and pulling me into her arms. I was so wrapped up in my exchange with Cassia that I didn’t even notice when Hermione and Astoria slipped out of the room. 

“It is clear that you love with everything you have. It is what makes you an excellent healer and friend, and why my son would never settle for less.” 

“I love him more than anything,” I whispered, and she tightened her hold fractionally. 

“As do I. Now let us get you cleaned up, and presentable. Lucius will not forgive me if I ruin his plans.”

I tried to remember what Neville had said about Axios and Lucius, so I nodded and quickly changed back into my robes. Stepping back out from behind the curtain, I asked curiously, “How is one to wear robes and not hide one’s figure?” 

Cassia responded with a calculating smile and with a prod of her wand, had tailored my robes to show off my waist. Looking back in the mirror, my jaw dropped. “Indeed, darling girl.” Her eyes sparkled, and I shook my head. 

“I need to learn how to do that.” 

She laughed, and once again looped her arm through mine, and guided me through the long hallways of the château. She was telling me about some of the letters she’d gotten from Axios while we were at school, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her retelling of some of his antics when we entered a large dining room. There were several people gathered around the golden oak table, but my eyes immediately found Axios, his dark eyes glittering hungrily as I entered arm in arm with his mother. 

“Calm down, Fairview,” Draco joked from his place directly across the table. 

”Je suis calme,” Anthony quipped, across and down one place from the heavyset Frenchman from the hallway. The man next to him laughed, but quickly quieted. I realized with a start that Mathieu was across the table from him, facing away from us, and the blonde witch on the Frenchman’s other side raised an eyebrow. 

There were only two open spots, and it was painfully clear who was to take each. One was between Lucius at the head of the table, and Axios one seat down. The other was at the foot of the table, across from Lucius between the blonde girl who hadn’t spoken yet and Anthony. I was fairly certain I was shaking as Cassia took her place and I passed Anthony, Mathieu, Rose, and Axios before reaching the last open chair. Having Hermione across from me was a small comfort, and I peered down the table to see Draco on her other side, followed by Astoria, the Frenchman, and the blonde, ending with Cassia. 

Lucius smiled, and I did my best not to cringe into Axios’ side. “I believe some introductions have been missed. Marcel, have you met Vivienne?” The Frenchman inclined his head with a mild smile, and I stopped breathing as I realized that this was Mathieu’s father. 

“And Vivienne do you know Hope Hollingsworth?” He said her name delicately, and the blonde at the end flushed, keeping her eyes studiously on her water goblet. 

Lucius continued lightly, “Hope is, of course, Rose’s younger sister, but she works here in Paris with Marcel. Though I believe you know Marcel’s son, Mathieu?” 

Axios’ hand tightened on mine under the table, and I managed to gasp out a weak, “yes, hello.” 

“And the rest of us are old friends,” Lucius finished, eyeing Draco and Hermione, who had snorted lightly in unison. Astoria rolled her eyes, and I stifled a giggle, causing my vocal chords to protest. My giggle turned into a choking gasp, and Axios was handing me a glass of water before anyone else could do anything more than look alarmed. 

Hermione’s eyes grew wide as Astoria’s narrowed. 

“Sorry,” I gasped, my face burning. 

“Livvy is still recovering,” Axios said firmly from beside me, and I saw Cassia flash a look of pity in my direction. 

“I’m fine,” I insisted, and sunk back into my chair. 

“Were you ill?” Mathieu’s father looked more curious than concerned, and I wasn’t prepared for the venomous retort from Mathieu. 

“Non. Elle ne l'était pas,” he hissed across the table, and my face got even hotter. How did he know what happened? I had my answer when Astoria shifted guiltily in her seat. 

“Seriously, Tori?” I couldn’t keep the angry disbelief from my voice. 

“It was not as if she had a choice,” Mathieu spat from down the table. “Not when I was standing there when Potter received the patronus stating you had been attacked.” 

“I apologize, I didn’t realize you were…” Marcel looked between Mathieu, Axios, and myself.

I felt the blood drain from my face. “What patronus?” I looked to Axios, and he closed his eyes, rubbing his hand over his mouth. 

“The one I sent asking for backup.” 

“Harry was here because of me,” Hermione said, a look of sickening realization on her face. 

“Because of Hope, you mean,” Rose spoke up from Axios’ other side. 

“He was right to send the patronus, though,” Anthony added. 

“He did everything right,” Lucius agreed. 

“If I did everything right, the bastard wouldn’t be loose,” Axios glared between his father and Lucius. 

“YOU LET HIM GO?!” Mathieu was leaning forward, a look of absolutely fury coloring his face. 

“He saved her life, Matt! It was save her or get him,” Astoria shot at him, and I noticed Rose’s hand pulling firmly on Mathieu’s bicep. Leaning forward, I realized she had the same hold on Axios’ other arm. 

“You can let go,” I told her coldly, and she snatched her hand back from Axios’ arm as if she’d been burned. 

“She’s not going there again, it’s fine,” Draco drawled, and then froze when Axios and Rose pinned him with angry glares. Astoria and Hermione looked at him in disbelief, and I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Go where, exactly?” Draco recoiled from my cold question, and Hope giggled. 

“Shut up, Hope.” Astoria glared down the table, and Marcel bristled. 

“She has done nothing wrong, leave the poor girl alone.” 

“She’s not so innocent as she would have you believe,” Hermione snapped at him, and Anthony cleared his throat as if he was going to say something, but was cut off by Lucius. 

“Now is not the time, darling,” he said sharply, and Hermione turned her glare to her lover; the fire in her eyes grew brighter as I watched his face turn to ice. 

“Lucius,” Cassia said warningly, and Lucius looked abashed. 

“Mum!” Axios looked disbelievingly at his mother, who looked coolly back at him. 

“Axios, don’t,” his father warned, and Mathieu snorted. 

“Matt knock it off! We’ve been telling you since day one she’d pick him,” Draco snarled at his cousin. 

“Draco, don’t be a dick! How would Tori feel if you picked me?” Rose still had hold of Mathieu’s arm. 

“But I didn’t pick you!” 

“Exactly, you asshole! It fucking hurts, so let him be angry!” I wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor, guilt at bringing out what seemed to be very touchy subjects amongst the gathered guests bubbling up into my chest. 

“You left him, don’t act like you didn’t have a choice!” Hope crossed her arms tightly across her chest. “I watched you cry for months. Why do you think I went back to dad? Because I couldn’t take you playing the martyr anymore! It took them,” she pointed angrily at Lucius, ”to snap me out of it!” 

“So your bad decisions give you the right to throw yourself at whoever you’d like?” Hermione’s eyes were sparkling with tears. 

“At least she was honest about her feelings,” Mathieu spat. 

“Don’t you dare,” Axios growled.

“The little Delilah does not appear to be remorseful,” Marcel said, a sneer transforming his face into one that had me recoiling. 

“Excuse you,” Anthony said, his voice deadly calm. 

“Enough!” Lucius was now on his feet, his silver eyes flashing dangerously, but the glares between the guests weren’t softening. 

“We are all adults here, and the dinner table is not the place to air out our dirty laundry.” His gaze swept over the table, and I realized belatedly that angry tears were sliding down my face. Hermione seemed to barely be holding her own tears back, and the blonde at the end was sniffling into a handkerchief. 

Axios’ hand was shaking on my knee, and Draco was glaring daggers at Rose. Cassia and Marcel were caught in a battle of wills, and I could see Anthony’s white-knuckled grip on the corner of the table. Astoria’s face was buried in her hands, and I refused to look at Mathieu. 

“Vivienne, I am most sorry for bringing you into this. I truly did not expect my guests to act so poorly.” I lifted my shocked eyes to Lucius’, and he looked sincerely apologetic. 

“No, I’m sorry my presence caused such a disturbance. I wouldn’t have come if I had known…” I dropped my eyes back to my hands, more tears dripping into my lap. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Cassia said firmly, breaking eye contact with Marcel to meet mine. “Remember what I said. Listen to those that want the best for you, not the best for themselves.” 

I nodded mutely, even as Mathieu glared at her. She looked to him evenly. “Do not pretend to know what my son has done for her.” 

“He could not even find it within himself to be with her on one of the worst nights of her life,” he muttered, and brows around the table creased. 

I shook my head angrily, tears falling freely. “That is not your place, Mathieu.” 

“What are you talking about? I was there the night her father died!” Axios’ hand disappeared from my leg. 

“You were with them when Hazel died!” I waved vaguely at Draco and Astoria, the dam finally breaking. 

He looked at them, his eyes hardening. 

“Neville told me! You were there drinking with them instead of being with me when I needed you!” I dissolved into sobs at the table, and I was surprised when it was Rose that spoke up. 

“He was arresting the bastard that killed her, Viv.”

“How would you know?” I pulled back out of Axios’ grip, and saw his shoulders sag. 

“Rose, don’t.” Axios sounded so defeated that my heart broke, despite my own pain at his absence that night. 

“She has a right to know,” she shot back at him. “I know because I’m the one that kept him from drinking himself half to death that night. He arrested him, and when he went to the hospital, he was told that you didn’t want to see him!” 

“What?” The dismay washed over me like a cold wave. “I didn’t… I wouldn’t…” I looked back to Axios, who had braced his elbows on the edge of the table, his head hanging low. 

“Who told you that?” The truth was crushing me, and I couldn’t breathe. 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Some healer.” 

“I only talked to Agnes, and she never would have…”

“Viv…” Astoria drew my gaze, and she looked up as pieces clicked into place. “Ben was on that night. He could have told everyone. They wouldn’t have questioned it.” 

I felt myself crumble. She was right. “Axios you were the only person I wanted. You were always the one I wanted.” My voice broke, and sobs ripped from my chest. “This whole time you thought I didn’t? How could you act like my friend when you thought I did that?”

He slowly lifted his head, the pain in his eyes cutting me to the core. I forgot all about the people around us; his parents, Draco and Lucius Malfoy and even Mathieu melted away. 

“I was willing to be whatever you needed, Livvy. If hating me would have made you feel better, I would have let you hate me until the end of time.” 

I shook my head again, the crushing pain in my chest overwhelming. I reached out blindly, grasping his robes and pulling myself to him until his arms folded around me.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. And then his hands were smoothing back my hair, rubbing my back and he was whispering in my ear. 

“I love you. It’s okay. I love you, Livvy. Don’t cry.” 

My sobs quieted, and I heard whispers around the table. With my face still buried in Axios’ chest, I heard Lucius say something unintelligible to Hermione, and I pulled back to find that Draco had pulled Astoria to her feet and was hugging her tightly. Marcel had his arm around Hope, and Mathieu and Rose were nowhere to be seen. Anthony has both of Cassia’s hands clasped in his, and Hermione was perched in Lucius’ lap, her arms thrown around his neck. 

“I’m so sorry,” I cried again, looking up into Axios’ face. His dark eyes no longer held the pain from before; instead they bore into mine, and I was falling. 

I was hurtling towards the moon and sun, away from the pain and fear that seemed to dominate my life; I was falling through time and space to the culmination of light and life. I was falling in love all over again, a dozen years all at once. 

His arms tightened around me, and I realized that there really never was anyone else. Not since the very first day that he said hello in the common room, checking the top of my very first magical homework assignment, and mistook Viv for Liv. 

“It was always you.” 

“It will always be you.” 


End file.
